Trista Faux Hawke wrote...
robertthebard wrote...
It's kinda funny, in an ironic kind of way, but I was going to say something to a guy that commented on my GF's ass at Riverfest a few years back, and she stopped me. She then turned to him and told him that it was too bad he'd never see any more of it. She had a number just for guys that harrassed her for it too: 1-800-eat-sh*t. She refused to be a "victim" of this kind of thing. Of course, she was a professional stripper, and I was a professional bouncer. It was my job to defend the ladies, even when they were wrong. They didn't much care for the way I handled them after the threat was dealt with if I felt they were wrong though, since I would point it out. I carry a 3 inch long scar in my head from a broken poolcue for defending my bro's wife at a strip club one night, and I didn't even work there. I did escort the 5 guys involved out after the smoke cleared though.
Here's the funny: I do stand up for women when something like the things you describe happen close to me. I will, however, call them on their BS if the situation was caused by them. If I'd been at your bus stop, I'd have stepped up on your behalf, but frankly, after taking a look at me, you would have probably acted the same way towards me as you did towards the guy that asked you for your number, you know, like I was just trying to get in your pants. I've seen that happen before. Chivalry isn't dead, but sometimes, it can shoot you in the foot, when you innocently step in to protect someone's honor. Especially when the someone in question acts like you're no different than the initial problem. My friend's wife, mentioned above, didn't hold that view, but we'd known eachother for years. She was mad, at first, that I had gotten involved, especially since my head was bleeding rather profusely, but after she found out I was fine, she was glad I'd helped her.
That's the dilemma most men like me find themselves in, and some, quite frankly, prefer to do nothing than to be accused of assuming that "I couldn't handle it on my own". You know, for casting a woman into a stereotypical helpless female role?
lol. I'm sorry... I... this post is funny. I'm *not* being snarky when I say that, I mean that it's just very interesting how some people may interpret my request. I'm not asking that someone soar in on a magical white horse and "beat up" people who sexually harrass me in public. I mean, well, I guess if they want to... but that's just going to get someone into a lot of trouble - perhaps some assault charges, or as you've described - physical injuries.
I'm asking for something impossible. That's the f*ck of it. I'm asking for something much bigger than chivalry. There shouldn't be any need for chivalry, because sexism just shouldn't even be a thing.
I'm asking for people to raise human beings correctly - to demonstrate that sexism is weird and unnatural. I mean, maybe it shouldn't be tolerated from day 1. Like when a little boy scoffs at a doll or groans at something that's pink, people should look at him like he's "weird" for whining "THIS IS FOR GIRLS!" because that's where that b.s. mentality starts. Right there. Trust me... (little seeds planted in the brain...)
But this is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about. I wouldn't necessarily have to resort to violence to stop the bus stop guy from harrassing you, but you took it straight to violence. The situation at the bar was going one way, all I did was shift the focus, and initially, I tried to do it peacefully. It just didn't pan out. However, as we can see, you'd have been more taken aback by what might have happened if I had been there, and it had escalated to violence than you were by being asked for your phone number. I don't appreciate it when it happens, but I have learned to expect that a "damsel in distress" might be more afraid of me after an episode like that than the initial situation. This is likely why most men won't do anything.
Can we do away with it? Probably not. Racism is still rearing it's ugly head. However, in both instances it is getting better. Will we ever be free of it? No, there are always going to be those that feel that they are superior, for whatever reason. However, perpetuating the stereotype won't help. "You wouldn't understand, because your a man" perpetuates the stereotype. I learned how to fight because I was bullied growing up. I was small for my age in school, didn't hit my spurt growth until high school, so I was always an "easy mark", so I understand exactly what it's like. At some point, I got tired of it, and fought back, and then, it stopped happening. It wasn't an overnight kind of thing, but eventually, people left me alone. Everybody has the potential to stand up for themselves, and some are going to be better at it than others, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be encouraged to try.
Railing against it in a fantasy setting isn't going to alleviate the problem, however. There is only so much that a game is actually responsible for, and that is presentation. Interpretation is entirely up to the individual.
Ce sujet est fermé
Retour en haut
