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[GeneralMoskvin_2.0]

 For all soldiers, Turians, Vorchas etc.....:
1. Always listen to the sergeant in command.. He receives orders from the officers and is smart enough to ignore them.

2. Stay with the sergeant. In battle he is always with the soldiers and therefore tries to keep them away from a battle.

3. Always believe in what the sergeant tells you. Officers tell lies about the enemies' strength to keep the morale alive, but sergeants tell the truth to keep YOU alive.

4. Sergeants have to be honest one way or the other. Others they'd be officers.

5. A soldier who actually thinks it is a good idea to die for a flag should become General.

6. A soldier who thinks it's a bad idea to die for a flag should become sergeant.

7. As funny as it may seem, Asari really think they are real soldiers. Just let them live with that belief and do not ask why they use a domina suit.

8. A soldier's reply on the question is not "Sure thing". The correct answer is "No, sir."

9. No matter what the officers tell you, Krogan really look forward to a honorful death in the battle. They mostly do not mean their own though.

10. Never stand near a vorcha. Sooner or later he WILL explode.

11. Rule ten also applies to vorcha that have been stripped off all their stuff before battle. We all know how those little devils can improvise.

12. Try to look harmless. The enemy mostly grabs dangerous-looking persons.

13. If something isn't dead after shooting it with a claymore....let the asari warp it.

14. If it is dead, throw a frag grenade.

15. If you fight reaper troops and know they are dead, throw another frag grenade.

16. Every unit should contain a human. Sooner or later they join the battle anyways, no matter if you want it or not. So let's save time and effort wasted at feeble attempts to keep them out.

17. Every unit should contain a volus. Nothing confuses the enemy more than having to duck for a punch.

18.Every unit should contain a turian. It is always good to have someone who holds the position to the last man while retreating.

19. Every unit should contain a vorcha or a demolisher. Nothing discourages the enemy more than the sentence "If you don't surrender immediately we'll give him his toys back, and I suppose none of you bloody arses want's that!"

20. Every unit should contain an asari. There is no special reason for this, but aliens who really dare to go to battle with that outfit....we do not want to ****** them off by keeping them out.

21.The composition of a unit should contain the same amount of humans, turians, krogan....etc. to keep a good average size.

22. "The turians are advancing" is no argument to advance. Turians always advance. Even upon retreat.

23. Turians do not even know the word retreat. Yet they know something that is called defensive charging.

24. If you see a turian leaving the battle in panic.....keep up with him.

25. If you get the task to deliver a message to the salarian position, search for the most insuspicious place in the field.

26. Problems finding the Salarians?? Don't worry. Stand around long enough, and they find you.

27. Humans know one way to hold a position, one way to advance, and one way to retreat.

28. Salarians know one way to attack and two to retreat. They eventually forgot how to hold the position as it never was under attack.

29. Geth know one way to defend a position, 23 ways of attacking and one way to turn the position into a giant cyber-tank and attack with the position.

30. Batarians, Vorcha and N7 Demolishers know one way to retreat, one way to attack and an uncountable amount of ways to blow up the position.

31. A retreating enemy is regrouping.

32. If the enemy is on the retreat despite being turian, they won. You just didn't get it until now.

33. The easiest way to get to an enemy position is always filled with explosives.

34. The easiest way to get into a vorcha position is never filled with explosives. The position itself however is.

35. If a Batarian says "Don't worry, that thing works." throw the thing into the enemy position.

36. If the Batarian says about himself "My inventions always work" throw him into the enemy position.

37. If both parties think they'll lose the war, they are usually right.

38. Though the Krogan spread the rumor, there is no such thing like a krogan intelligence. This just names Krogan who advance without shouting.

39. If Krogan talk about a "Krogan launcher" they talk about nothing that shoots anorganic material.

40. Never stand next to a cyber tank in the battle. Or in front of it. Or behind it. Or....you know, just take the shuttle and get off this damn planet.

41. Yep, Asari "armor" really looks like this. Quit staring.

42. If the squad's vorcha says "We have to blast the siege ring", he means it literally.

43. No matter how funny you think it is, never call a volus "shorty".

44. If there is too few medi-gel, too few biotic support, too many enemies and no time for a plan.....you are in a normal combat.

45. Approaching pulse cannon shots/Kishock bolts/Kroguards/Volus usually have the right of way.

46. If there's a lack of everything but enemies, you are in a fight.

47. When you think you have won, enemy reinforcements arrive.

48. Your reinforcements are the enemy flank attack.

49. The enemy flank attack is their main army.

50. The enemy is not retreating, he sets up a trap.

51. If you are waiting in a trap for the enemy, make sure he isn't already awaiting you.

52. If everything's calm.....you are surrounded.

53. The unsuspicious bush there is a nemesis.

54. The drell always dies first.

55. Never think that the enemy has a lack of ammo. In case of doubt the opposite is the case.

56. If a phantom is in melee range, you are doing it wrong.

57. If an enemy is in melee range, you are it too.

58. If the hospital is next to the kitchen, mind the food.

59. An attack with surgical precision does not imply that the enemy gets eaten thereafter.

60. Avoiding of collateral damages means the waiver of planet-busters in krogan strategy.

61. Do not attack the hospital, the medics are armed!

62. Rule 61 does not imply the use of medic tools in battle.

63. Injured body parts don't need to be amputated. There are medics, not just butchers.

64. The kitchen always needs fresh meat.

65. Nope, Krogan do not taste good.

66. Asari look too good to be eaten.

67. Humans are too ignorant to be eaten.

68. Not enough meat on vorcha and quarians.

69. Turians are too hard.

70. Salarian liver is delicious.

71. In a battle you must defeat the enemy as quickly as possible. Every other thing is decoration.

72. "Every other thing" in rule 71 does not include:
Fairness
moral justifyability
• executing orders
• Do without Kroguards of mass destruction
• The use of butchers as medics
• The survival of officers.

73. Following things can kill you in battle:
• Following orders
• Refusing to follow orders
• Defending
• Attacking
• Advancing
• Retreating
• Asking an Asari for biotic support.
• Asking the quarian for germs.
• Asking the vorcha about his flamer.
• Medics.
• Looking harmless
• Looking harmful
• Suspicious behavior
• Insuspicious behavior
• Doing too much
• Doint not enough
• Doing nothing

74. The flip-up-spade is your best friend. Use it to beat up baddies and officers and to get an advantage in the kitchen.
75. Use turians as natural cover, you'll have to keep up when defensively charging though.
76. Krogan hate being used as cover. Do not try to persuade them. Before you can do that, you are usually dead.
77. Asari are bad cover: Your eyes are always on their arse. You have to stay alert to survive though.
78. Never hide between Vorchas. They WILL explode. Better throw them on the enemy.
79. Humans are bad cover, except for destroyers, those are neat.
80. Using cannibals a leviathan has possessed as cover is a bad idea. One way or the other, he will throw all tactics over board and eat you.
81. Medics or butchers will try to return the pleasure and use you as cover, so run! If you are a turian, defensively charge.
82. If there is a Krogan next to you who is okay with being used as cover, take care anyway. His zero tolerance strategy on melee attacks has consequences.
83. The...exhalations of a krogan can knock out a turian platoon. Another reason to avoid them as cover.
84. Biotic supporters aren't proper cover either. The enemy always attacks them first, ALWAYS.
85. Cyber tanks are good cover. Places where their barriers are in place however should be avoided (every place).
86. If you see an enemy cyber tank, take cover.
87. If it is on you side, take cover anyway.
88. If you are in a cyber tank, ENJOY IT!
Also, dear Batarians, vorchas, Krogans and other space gypsies:

1. You are not allowed to wake the commanding officier with a bomb near his head.

2. The correct name for an officer is officer. Not "the guy with the silly cap".

3. Trying to hide in a quarian's suit is not a good idea. Not from strategic and not from hygenic point of view.

4. You must not respond to an order with "why?".

5. "I supposed it was a good idea" is no good answer. Independent of whatever has taken place before.

6. Imaginary friends or inventions that became sentient are not allowed to take command.

7. You report for duty with "Private reporting for duty", not with "You can't prove me anything!"

8. Please stay clear of mad laughs.

9. You are not the mascot of psychological warfare.

10. No commanding officer wants to know what you can do with two stimpacks, a salarian liver and a pink hat.

12. There is no standard procedure to request those things at the officer.

13. You mustn't threaten an officer with black magic.

14. Do not ask officers that doubt your ability to use black magic for some blood and hair.

15. Spells that require vorcha blood do not affect officers (except for if they are vorcha).

16. Yep, alert systems work against officers. Do not use them anyway.

17. You can't exchange an officer for ten credits.

18. Not for one credit either.

19. Not even for "some thermal clips....we really don't need many."

20. If it makes you laugh for more than 12 seconds it's a bad idea.

21. Measurable use of violence does not mean measuring the impact crater's radius.

22. Launching a warning shot does not include:
Orbital strikes,
Depopulating a planet
Something you can do with two stimpacks, a salarian liver and a pink hat.

23. Vorcha are not the superior race that is meant to conquer the galaxy.

24. Neither are Krogan.