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[lostintx6901]

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ON THE NORMANDY

By Dennis Joslyn

 

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship

 

Not a creature was stirring, not even that drone gliph;

 

The stockings were hung by the Air Lock with care,

 

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

 

The crew were nestled all snug in their beds,

 

While visions of Asari’s danced in their heads;

 

And Liara in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

 

Had just settled down for a long space flight nap,

 

When outside the ship there arose such a clatter,

 

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

 

Away to the elevator I flew like a flash,

 

Down to the bar to make sure Tali was not smashed.

 

I looked out the window

 

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

 

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny gethdeer,

 

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

 

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

 

More rapid than fighters his coursers they came,

 

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

 

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

 

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

 

So up to the Air Lock the coursers they flew,

 

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

 

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

 

The prancing and pawing of each little geth hoof.

 

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

 

In through the Air Lock St. Nicholas came with a bound.

 

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

 

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

 

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

 

And he looked like a Volus just opening his pack.

 

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

 

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

 

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

 

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

 

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

 

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

 

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

 

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

 

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

 

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

 

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

 

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

 

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

 

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

 

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

 

And giving a nod, out of the Air Lock into space where he
rose;

 

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

 

And away they all flew like an Alliance ship’s missile.

 

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

 

"Happy Holidays to all, and to you Shepard a
good-night."

 

[Gamecontact]

*claps slowly*

[feriwan]

lostintx6901 wrote...


The crew were nestled all snug in their beds,

 

While visions of Asari’s danced in their heads;

 

THIS. IS. HILARIOUS!
Well done.

[Urdnot_Bucdawg]

Loved it Dennis. Apologies in advance but I couldn't help reedit some (credit properly given), hope you like my version too


THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ON THE NORMANDY
By Dennis Joslyn and reedited by Doug Kelly
 
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
 
Not a creature was stirring, not even that drone gliph;
 
The stockings were hung by the Air Lock with care,
 
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
 
The crew were nestled all snug in their beds,
 
While visions of Asari’s danced in their heads;
 
And Liara in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
 
Had just settled down for a long space flight nap,
 
When outside the ship there arose such a clatter,
 
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
 
Away to the elevator I flew like a flash,
 
Down to the bar to make sure Tali was not smashed.
 
I looked out the window
 
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
 
But a miniature geth flyer and eight crewmen jumping clear,
 
With a little old driver, speaking so lively and quick,
 
I shook my head in wonder; THIS is St. Nick?.
 
More rapid than fighters his coursers they came,
 
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
 
"Now, Garrus now Chakwas!, now Wrex and lieutenant,
 
Be quick now Kasumi, we have a time limit!!"
 
So up to the Air Lock the coursers they flew,
 
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
 
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
 
The prancing and pawing of each crewman's boots.
 
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
 
In through the Air Lock St. Nicholas came with a bound.
 
He was dressed all in fur covered labcoat, from his head to his foot,
 
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
 
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
 
And he looked like a Volus just opening his pack.
 
With presents in hand he lay at the heads,

of snoring crewmen at the foot of their beds,

singing Gilbert and Sullivan amused with himself
 
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
 
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
 
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
 
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
 
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
 
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
 
And giving a nod, out of the Air Lock into space where he
rose;
 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
 
And away they all flew like an Alliance ship’s missile.
 
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
 
"Problematic if more needs to done in one night,

I'm a scientist, not a Santa, hope I did it alright!

Modifié par Urdnot_Bucdawg, 16 décembre 2012 - 08:07 .