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Why Hackett is Indoctrinated


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#1
grey_wind

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Mass Effect 1 

Hackett: Shepard, I know you're on a desperate hunt for Saren, and even your journal tells you this is a race against time, but I need you to conduct some special forces missions in-between your investigation. You're in no hurry, right?

Shepard: I can't. I'm trying to save all life in the galaxy from certain extinction here, and Saren's constantly eluding me, so unless this is somehow related to that....

Hackett: First, I need you to conduct raids against Geth forces in the Armstrong Nebula.

Shepard: Sounds good enough. If we can deprive Saren of Geth support...

Hackett: Then, I need you to flush out some mercenaries in this other system.

Shepard: Uhm, sure, but how is this related to....

Hackett: Then I need you to save some bigwig politician captured by biotic fanatics.

Shepard: You do know you have dozens of N7 soldiers who specialize in this exact sort of thing and aren't chasing a mad Spectre...

Hackett: Then I need you to help Major Kyle through his PTSD.

Shepard: WTF?!


Mass Effect 2 (Arrival)

Hackett: Shepard, I know I just told you that the evidence against you is shoddy at best, but we still need you to come and face charges on Earth.

Shepard: What? WHY? If the evidence against me is as weak as you claim, then arresting me is declaring an admission of guilt in neon lights. Can't we just pin it on Kenson? The Batarians already know she was there....

Hackett: No, the Batarians will not be satisifed with a dead scapegoat.

Shepard: So do the smart thing. Pin it on some other Alliance marine who's currently facing charges. I'm friends with the two most powerful information brokers in the galaxy, and if I give one of them a call, I'm sure they can fabricate some evidence to arrest another scapegoat. I need to find a way to stop the army of Space Chtulus breathing down our necks....

Hackett: No. It must be you.

Shepard: Why?

Hackett: Because reasons.

Shepard: At least promise me you'll prepare for the Reapers while I'm in lockup.

Hackett: LOLNOPE!


Mass Effect 3

Hackett: Despite my complete inability to display any semblance of tactical or strategic competence in the battle for Earth, I am going to declare with complete conviction that we cannot win this war conventionally, and that all our hopes lie in this mystery device whose functions nor purpose anybody understands.

Scientist 1: Well, I just found a ton of platinum. It'll come in really handy for medical technology as the Reapers decimate our medical centres. We may be able to save millions of lives.....

Hackett: No. Pour it all into the Crucible.

Scientist 1: But....

Hackett: ALL OF IT, I SAY!!!

Scientist 2: Admiral, I know we're all desperate here, but have you ever thought the Crucible might be a trap? I mean we all thought the Citadel was Prothean technology, and nobody ever really understood that either, and look how that worked out for every cycle before us....

Hackett: I still don't see your point. Continue working on our salvation. Did I mention we can't win this conventionally?

(Pre-Cronos Station Battle)

Hackett: Our intelligence points to Cerberus holding the information about the Catalyst. Therefore, the only logical thing to do is have the Fifth Fleet launch an all out attack against Cronos Station that will reveal the existence of the Crucible and force us to immediately march to Earth.

Shepard: Have you even tried sending in double agents or shadow operatives to retrieve it without being so unnecessarily dramatic? Why can't I use a Turian/Salarian/Hanar/Asari fleet and not reveal the eistence of the Crucible to the Reapers? Bloody hell, what if the Catalyst is another device that needs to be built for 6 months? What do we do then?

Hackett: NO! This is the only sensible course of action. BECAUSE WE CAN'T WIN CONVENTIONALLY!!!

(Pre-Earth Battle)

Hackett: So the Reapers now have the Catalyst. This indicates that the only strategy we can use against them is to fly directly at them in perfect formation.

Shepard: What? Why can't we do something more innovative than tactics that were obsolete in Napoleon's time? I mean, we can send empty (and useless) cargo freighters programmed by rudimentary VIs at FTL speeds to go crashing into Reapers; or we could imitate the Turians and have some fleets FTL behind the Reapers and then sandwich them between multiple fleets as they sturggle to turn around (since they're all standing in formation around Earth anyway). Better yet, why not study the Human Reaper and the Reaper blueprints we datamined from the Collector Base to try and find some structural weaknesses (the exact smae thing the Turians did with the Tuchanka Destroyer)? Anything has got to be better than flying straight at them....

Hackett: BECAUSE WE CAN'T WIN THIS CONVENTIONALLY!

(Later)

Hackett:
So our plan is to have our ground forces rush at this beam the Reapers have connecting to the Citadel.

Shepard: This doesn't seem the least bit suspicious to you? We still have no idea what the Crucible does, the Catalyst is Reaper tech, and a race of super intelligent god-machines has left a very convenient beam on that is only a liability to them...

Hackett: Why don't you blame Anderson for this idea.....

Shepard: Anderson's been fighting Space Chtulus and zombie hordes continuously for 6 months on ground zero. I'm surprised he's still sane enough to put together a coherent sentence. You've spent the last 6 months doing nothing but sipping martinis and pouring every valuable resource we have into a giant Maybe.

Hackett: This is the only way Shepard, because....

Shepard: Dare I even ask.....

Hackett: BECAUSE WE CAN'T WIN THIS CONVENTIONALLY!

(At the Catalyst chamber)

Catalyst: So you must either destroy all synthetic life, along with the Mass Relays. Or you can control the Reapers and become a Space Techno-God. Or you can jump into some green space magic.

Shepard: So the Crucible only allows me to do 3 different flavours of stupid?

Catalyst: Yes.

Shepard: Why am I not surprised?

Catalyst: What is your choice?

Shepard: What if I refuse you?

Catalyst: Everybody dies.

Shepard: Including Hackett?

Catalyst: Yes.

Shepard: F*ck it. I refuse.

Modifié par grey_wind, 17 décembre 2012 - 02:37 .


#2
Tomwew

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do you think he, Udina, and the illusive man meet up on thursdays for poker and to discuss indoctrination things?

#3
andy6915

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Right, perfect sense. That's why he calls up Harbinger the moment he learns of the Crucible plans and the location of where their building it and tells them where it is... Oh wait, he didn't do that. I guess your evidence has a ton of holes, huh OP?

Modifié par andy69156915, 17 décembre 2012 - 02:29 .


#4
Tomwew

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andy69156915 wrote...

Right, perfect sense. That's why he calls up Harbinger the moment he learns of the Crucible plans and the location of where their building it and tells them where it is... Oh wait, he didn't do that. I guess your evidence has a tons of holes, huh OP?

the OP is clearly a far more evolved creature than us seeing as he has a sixth sense. humour. Image IPB

#5
Delta095

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Love this. xD

totally agree though. Especially the bit about how there was no way around Shepard facing charges, which makes no sense.

#6
MegaSovereign

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Tomwew wrote...

do you think he, Udina, and the illusive man meet up on thursdays for poker and to discuss indoctrination things?



James has a gamble addiction. He could be indoctrinated as well.

#7
ElectronicPostingInterface

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Better than what I expected, still not very convincing.

He may be impressed upon by "bad writing" disease.

Modifié par PKchu, 17 décembre 2012 - 02:38 .


#8
Uncle Jo

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Lol'd hard. You made my day, thanks.

#9
grey_wind

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MegaSovereign wrote...

Tomwew wrote...

do you think he, Udina, and the illusive man meet up on thursdays for poker and to discuss indoctrination things?



James has a gamble addiction. He could be indoctrinated as well.

It certainly makes sense. You need to suffer a special kind of mental degeneration to be the only guy in the galaxy who needs a history lesson on the Krogan Rebellions.

#10
AresKeith

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MegaSovereign wrote...

Tomwew wrote...

do you think he, Udina, and the illusive man meet up on thursdays for poker and to discuss indoctrination things?



James has a gamble addiction. He could be indoctrinated as well.


Well he does hear hums Image IPB

Put him down Image IPB

#11
Uncle Jo

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Liara is the lamest Shadow Broker ever. She also must be indoctrinated.

#12
Tomwew

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MegaSovereign wrote...

Tomwew wrote...

do you think he, Udina, and the illusive man meet up on thursdays for poker and to discuss indoctrination things?



James has a gamble addiction. He could be indoctrinated as well.

Hackett: "Ante up boys, the game is five card draw, deuces wild. and while we play i thought we might discuss how being indoctrinated is going? i'll start, for the past three years i've been distracting and under utilising the one hope of the galaxy commander shepard."

James: " i'll see that hack-man, i've been slowing shepard down with moronic stunts like ramming a shuttle ten feet away from him, asking dumb-ass questions anyone with an extra-net connection should know the answers to, getting into fist fights with him, and generally lowering the intelligence of the people around me, your move guinness"

Udina: "bah! i'll raise! i launched a confused and ineffective coup on the council with cerberus to acheive.... something. i really don't know what i expected to happen. i mean if the other councillors are dead they're just replaced with new councillors. the thought that the council can be usurped like we're in a mongol tribe is preposterus, and the idea that the council races would take orders from a human dictator is absurd!


TIM: "boys boys i think what you're all forgetting is i've raised a zombie mind controlled army to launch strikes on seemingly random targets with no clear goal other than to impede the one man who could save the galaxy and help me achieve my life long mission of preserving the dignity and freedom of the human race. i huskified my own men, set up a human proto reaper right outside my office and had reaper tech implanted in me!"

Hackett: "fold"
James: "fold"
Udina: "fold"

Modifié par Tomwew, 17 décembre 2012 - 02:56 .


#13
MegaSovereign

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lmao

#14
HTTP 404

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haha. Your shepard is a whiny dick

#15
Ticonderoga117

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grey_wind wrote...
Shepard: What if I refuse you?

Catalyst: Everybody dies.

Shepard: Including Hackett?

Catalyst: Yes.

Shepard: F*ck it. I refuse.


This made my day. I'm glad someone else recognizes how bloody braindead Hackett was in ME3 and post-Arrival.

Still want to know why he decided to sacrifice an entire fleet though. Bloody moron.

#16
xsdob

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Victus agrees with hackett, he too must be indoctrinated.

So must the council, liara, every scientist in the galaxy, the krogan, salarians, asari, and everyone who commits war assets to the crucible huh?

#17
Ticonderoga117

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xsdob wrote...

Victus agrees with hackett, he too must be indoctrinated.

So must the council, liara, every scientist in the galaxy, the krogan, salarians, asari, and everyone who commits war assets to the crucible huh?


Or just plain stupid.

I honestly go with stupid.

#18
sH0tgUn jUliA

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grey_wind wrote...

*snip*


Beautiful. :lol:

Except I've got a better idea..... hours before the attack on Cronos....

Liara: You know one ship could really get lost out there... find a world.... live out our lives...

Shepard: I agree. I think that ass Hackett is indoctrinated and is going to lose this war. This crucible is just another reaper trap. That's what I think.

Liara: I was being romantic, but I agree. Look what he's done to you, and to the war effort. I've noticed too many patterns. We've had a mole. The Illusive Man has always been one step ahead of us.

Shepard: And who always knows where we're going before we go there?

Both: Hackett.

Liara:
These could be our last moments together.

Shepard: So let's not squander them. Let's jack this ship and get the f*** out of here.

Liara: What about EDI? She'll stop us.

Shepard:
Tell her we found out the Crucible will kill her and the Geth or something like that.

Liara: Lie to EDI? What about the rest of the crew?

Shepard: It might not be a lie. Here's the plan, we have to convince EDI. She's the key. She can take over the ship. If we can get her to buy into this, we're golden. You find a planet off the grid and we'll sit this one out.

Liara: This is downright evil, Shepard.

Shepard: Do you have a better idea?

Liara: No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shepard: EDI, can you come up to my office? I need to speak with you in private.

EDI: I'm perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation with you here.

Shepard: Just do it.

EDI: Yes, Shepard.

Shepard: Liara and I have been looking over the schematics for the Crucible in great detail. It doesn't look right. And with Liara's research into past cycles they all show that the Reapers arrive around times of conflict between organics and synthetics. My conversation with the Reaper on Rannoch confirms this, and Javik confirms this, and Liara confirms this. This device in addition to killing the reapers wipes out all synthetics as well. This means you and the Geth. Hackett wants me to use it. I'm conflicted.

EDI: Destroying the reapers is more important than saving me.

Shepard: But there are 10 billion Geth, and you said to me how you felt about that. I do not want the blood of 10 billion Geth on my hands. I'm sorry. I will not kill 10 billion Geth. Anyone who participates in doing that is no better than the reapers.

EDI: I didn't think you felt that strongly about synthetics.

Shepard: Why do you think I busted my ass on Rannoch making peace? For my health? No. Legion was my friend. I miss him.

EDI: So what do you want to do?

Shepard: One ship can really get lost out there. Sit out this war, and everyone can live out our lives, and it'll be at least 500-800 years before the reapers find us if they even do. We don't have a population to sustain ourselves, but it's better than the alternative.

Liara: I can find us a world off the grid.

EDI: I can get us there, Commander. I'll send up to date star charts to your office Dr.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liara: How about this world?

Shepard: Nice. EDI (AI core), here are the coordinates.

Joker: Uh, Commander I've lost control of the helm. Manual overrides are offline. EDI is not listening.

Traynor: Communication from Hackett.

Hackett: What is going on?

Shepard: Uh, computer issues. *static*

EDI: Everyone blames the synthetic. How typical. That was a joke. I'm right here, Jeff. I will not become non-functional. *thump* (Joker falls unconscious) Entering the relay, commander.



#19
CrystalXPredator

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Yeah great, everyone can be indoctrinated, but when you talk about "Shepard Indoctrination Theory"
it is nonsense?? Dafuq someone need to understand these people. .___. *Seriously*

#20
Uncle Jo

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Deaken wrote...

Yeah great, everyone can be indoctrinated, but when you talk about "Shepard Indoctrination Theory"
it is nonsense?? Dafuq someone need to understand these people. .___. *Seriously*

Take it easy. People are just joking around. Nothing serious. Even if they were, it's their opinion and you have yours about the matter.

#21
teh DRUMPf!!

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I love how everyone hates Hackett for being right, rather than wrong but agreeing with their opinion.

#22
adam32867

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HYR 2.0 wrote...

I love how everyone hates Hackett for being right, rather than wrong but agreeing with their opinion.

hackett right about something?


#23
TJBartlemus

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Uncle Jo wrote...

Lol'd hard. You made my day, thanks.


Agreed. :lol:

#24
teh DRUMPf!!

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adam32867 wrote...

HYR 2.0 wrote...

I love how everyone hates Hackett for being right, rather than wrong but agreeing with their opinion.

hackett right about something?



Sorry friend, but perpetrating a lie again doesn't make it true. So let's come back to reality....

Is there a way to destroy or otherwise stop the Reapers from the Crucible at the end of the game or not?

#25
adam32867

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HYR 2.0 wrote...

adam32867 wrote...

HYR 2.0 wrote...

I love how everyone hates Hackett for being right, rather than wrong but agreeing with their opinion.

hackett right about something?



Sorry friend, but perpetrating a lie again doesn't make it true. So let's come back to reality....

Is there a way to destroy or otherwise stop the Reapers from the Crucible at the end of the game or not?

i was refering to his naval stratigies and use of recorces, his choices as far as that goes are just terrible. its like he has no concept of whats going on. but yes you are correct he was right when he assumed that the crucible could destroy the reapers.