140 réponses à ce sujet

[Ziegrif]

I gave so many ****s that I actually crashed the orgy bus.

[HolyAvenger]

IDGAF.

[Squire Rudi]

F***s have to be used like Cobra Missiles MediGels & Jack Daniel's - responsibly.

Thank you, OP, for reminding me.

[Alijah Green]

10/10 sir if you have f***ing attention span too read.....this will be a great laugh for today

[Alijah Green]

Ziegrif wrote...

I gave so many ****s that I actually crashed the orgy bus.

you should make a thread like this with pics and gif... now do it and make me laugh

[Twinkles DeVere]

JShepppp wrote...

3. E-Peen: If someone brags about how they did a Platinum solo while being blindfolded and eating a cookie, then I will write it off as inappropriate e-peen public stroking and react accordingly by not giving a f***. I would consider giving perhaps half a f***, however, if it is a chocolate chip cookie, especially if it was warm and goey and fresh at the time of eating.

4. Disconnects: If I disconnect 5 seconds to extraction in a Platinum game that in which I used all my consumables, in addition to giving up over an hour of my life and losing a few fine hairs, then I will start a Bronze game with a Widow-wielding Drell Vanguard with SMG amps, and yes, I will not give a f***.

#3 Is my fave.

But unfortunately I do give a bit of a f*** (let's say a third) about #4 

A very nice, sensible, responsible thread considering all the f***s in it.

[Ziegrif]

Alijah Green wrote...
you should make a thread like this with pics and gif... now do it and make me laugh

I have been meaning to make an explosion pics thread some time now.
But alas. Reports need to be written.

Modifié par Ziegrif, 19 décembre 2012 - 02:10 .

[Xerorei]

Would like but I have zero f**** to give.

[Kaall]

i thought i would reply with an old meme...

[NguyenX2]

I appluad you in your f**ks given and not given. I shall use this as a guide for my f**ks and go into battle as a motherf**king neon pink krogan and not give a f**k because why the f**k not

(also you made me cry laughing while reading, dont judge me)

[Googleness]

3XT3RM1N4TUS wrote...

[JaimasOfRaxis]

If I am the only one alive when I spawn, and I proceed to kill everything and then top the scoreboard, do not be surprised if, when you complain, I, rather like the OP, respond in the way god intended:

[kipac]

F*** is such a beautiful word...

[Spencercl]

I will strive for the purity of the OP.

[sirjenixofbj]

I present to you, 1 ****.

Made me laugh.

[Reaperpoo]

JShepppp wrote...

EDIT: This is not a complaining thread, but it turns out sarcastic humor is not a big thing here...

JShepppp wrote...

Thank you to those that read it, whether or not you agreed...I
am disappointed in those that did not read it and took the joking title
as an opportunity to be rude when the post was not rude.

Original Thread

I admit it. I used to be one of those people who paid attention to score, considering N7 levels when joining/hosting lobbies, and knew a ton of stats and stuff about synergy with powers (was also a Plat regular). Then I took a break from this game for a while. I came back, and all of a sudden we have Asaris with tactical cloaks and Voluses being biotics made flesh. We even have a Krogan Adept now, not to mention Turians with (wtf?) jetpacks.

Now, I just play Gold, and after a few games, I realized that I just do have that many f***s to give. For those of you like me, you realize that the amount of f***s you have is finite, and thus, not everything that you'd like to give a f*** about actually deserves a single f***. In fact, for a lot of different situations, I have now decided just to not give a f*** anymore. If you are like me, tired of wasting the f***s you give, then this may help you.

Here, I will tell you how I budgeted my f***s in order to hopefully help you balance your f*** budget similarly.

1. Difficulty: If I am searching for a Bronze game to house my wacky, fun, sniper Asari vanguard for a crazy game, and I get matched into a Gold game, mid-game, I will proceed to play as if nothing happened and not give a f***.

2. Score: If the resident Destroyer or Kroguard is carrying the team or being overly aggressive with their points, then let him/her carry us I will reap the credit rewards quicker and more easily, and while this may be lazy I will not give a f***.

3. E-Peen: If someone brags about how they did a Platinum solo while being blindfolded and eating a cookie, then I will write it off as inappropriate e-peen public stroking and react accordingly by not giving a f***. I would consider giving perhaps half a f***, however, if it is a chocolate chip cookie, especially if it was warm and goey and fresh at the time of eating.

4. Disconnects: If I disconnect 5 seconds to extraction in a Platinum game that in which I used all my consumables, in addition to giving up over an hour of my life and losing a few fine hairs, then I will start a Bronze game with a Widow-wielding Drell Vanguard with SMG amps, and yes, I will not give a f***.

5. Balance Changes / Updates: If a nerf/buff is randomly released, or a new character is released that everyone else will repeatedly talk about, and I do not get the character for weeks, I will switch to a Reegar/Kroguard, play against the Geth, and reaffirm why I do not give a f***.

6. Voluses/Volii: If I want to play my cute and pudgy Volus by equipping a Typhoon Super Rambo Machine Gun half his size, then I will do it, and if anyone calls my Volus fat, I will not give a f***.

7. Store (Weapons): If I do not get a Harrier (insert Roman numeral here), then I will equip an Avenger on my Destroyer and start a Platinum game, and I will not give a f***.

8. Synchkill: If a Banshee teleports through solid rock to synch kill me, inches away from its own death, I will switch windows, watch Youtube videos of cute cats, and I will not give a f***.

9. Enemy Fire: If I get killed for the eleventh time by a Marauder shooting its Phaeston XXVII at my pinkie toe through a random crack in the wall, with the Marauder Marksman power that gives it a 647% damage bonus, rather than complain about them being so cheap they'd never buy anything in a dollar store, I will self-medigel, switch to missiles, and procede to nuke every single Marauder back from here to Thessia, and I will not give a f***.

10. Equipment: If a teammate equips a shotgun with a SMG Amp III, then I will press the spacebar and I say I am ready to play, and not give a f***.

11. AFK: If a teammate is AFK, I will die quickly, keep the credits, quit, and join a different game, all the while not complaining because I do not give a f***.

12. Color: If I want to make my Kroguard bright neon pink, then I will do so, and not give a f***.

13. Combos: If my power, such as Throw, does not set off a Biotic Explosion, then I will equip a Predator X and spam Throw repeatedly against everyone, including Scions, combos or not, and just not give a f*** about the combos.

14. Seeker Swarm: If, as a power-wielding class, I get stuck by a Seeker Swarm, then I will just spam my peashooter weapon relentlessly against anything that even breathes funny, and not give a f*** about my powers.

As I play more, I may add to the list of situations that I do would not give a f*** in. I suggest we all take a healthy look at the amount of f***s we give and perhaps budget our f***s more reasonably. For example, in the following situations, I may actually give a f***:

1. Wave 10: If it is Wave 10, on Platinum, the entire team is dead, and I am the only one left between broken hearts and 150k credits, then I will give a f***.

2. Good Teammates: If a cute, chubby Volus has been sticking to me like peanut butter to jelly by replenishing my shields the entire game, from start to finish, and it is Wave 11 and he is blocked from the extraction (bonus) by 5 Phantoms, 3 Scions, 1 Prime, and a Husk, then I will use my missiles and help him out, because I will give a f***.

3. Store: If, without having a Harrier in the first place, I get a Harrier X within 5 PSPs, then I will give a f***, because clearly the RNG God did.

4. Lag: If I am lagging, and I am host, then it must be unbelievably horrible for the others, so I will quit, because I will give a f***.

5. Turret: If an enemy spawns a turret of any kind, noting that a single Geth Prime Turret has brought down entire armies, then I will give a f***.

Thank you for reading. I hope describing to you how much I give a f*** has helped you consider budgeting your f***s as well.

inb4 umadbro inb4 idontgiveaf*** inb4 irony (sometimes sarcasm is not understood)

My favourite thread/post on here ever

[Learn To Love Yourself]

LOL
May your plate be bountiful with overflowing f***s, OP. You have so much to give, yet not enough.

[Flyers215]

Solid OP.  I enjoyed the as I also give very little ****s about the things listed and do give ****s about the other things at the bottom.  

TJLenz wrote...

This made me laugh so hard I fell out of my chair.

[Airealite]

echovelocity wrote...



I got nothin.

[FlowCytometry]

Ziegrif wrote...

I gave so many ****s that I actually crashed the orgy bus.

hey, if the orgy is still in tact, I don't give a f*** about the bus.

[Airealite]

Ziegrif wrote...

I gave so many ****s that I actually crashed the orgy bus.

That was a fun episode

[King of the Evil Crabs]

F*** is a beautiful word.

[RUSHattack]

Now THIS thread is something I do give a f*** about - Thanks, JShepppp.  Very entertaining, very relevant.

Modifié par RUSHattack, 19 décembre 2012 - 07:04 .

[3XT3RM1N4TUS]

... I should go.