140 réponses à ce sujet

[Uh Cold]

[DJ Airsurfer]

JShepppp wrote...

9. Enemy Fire: If I get killed for the eleventh time by a Marauder shooting its Phaeston XXVII at my pinkie toe through a random crack in the wall, with the Marauder Marksman power that gives it a 647% damage bonus, rather than complain about them being so cheap they'd never buy anything in a dollar store, I will self-medigel, switch to missiles, and procede to nuke every single Marauder back from here to Thessia, and I will not give a f***.

20/10 would read again

[Simon_Wryly]

I couldn't finish reading your post because I do not give a f***,

(FYI - That's what sarcasm looks like in writing, in case any of you were wondering.)

Nice job.

(FYI - That's what sincerity looks like... in writing.)

[solidprice]

best thread of the week!
10/10
congrats tc

Modifié par solidprice, 20 décembre 2012 - 02:39 .

[Obitim]

JShepppp wrote...

EDIT: This is not a complaining thread, but it turns out sarcastic humor is not a big thing here...

JShepppp wrote...

Thank you to those that read it, whether or not you agreed...I
am disappointed in those that did not read it and took the joking title
as an opportunity to be rude when the post was not rude.

Original Thread

I admit it. I used to be one of those people who paid attention to score, considering N7 levels when joining/hosting lobbies, and knew a ton of stats and stuff about synergy with powers (was also a Plat regular). Then I took a break from this game for a while. I came back, and all of a sudden we have Asaris with tactical cloaks and Voluses being biotics made flesh. We even have a Krogan Adept now, not to mention Turians with (wtf?) jetpacks.

Now, I just play Gold, and after a few games, I realized that I just do have that many f***s to give. For those of you like me, you realize that the amount of f***s you have is finite, and thus, not everything that you'd like to give a f*** about actually deserves a single f***. In fact, for a lot of different situations, I have now decided just to not give a f*** anymore. If you are like me, tired of wasting the f***s you give, then this may help you.

Here, I will tell you how I budgeted my f***s in order to hopefully help you balance your f*** budget similarly.

1. Difficulty: If I am searching for a Bronze game to house my wacky, fun, sniper Asari vanguard for a crazy game, and I get matched into a Gold game, mid-game, I will proceed to play as if nothing happened and not give a f***.

2. Score: If the resident Destroyer or Kroguard is carrying the team or being overly aggressive with their points, then let him/her carry us I will reap the credit rewards quicker and more easily, and while this may be lazy I will not give a f***.

3. E-Peen: If someone brags about how they did a Platinum solo while being blindfolded and eating a cookie, then I will write it off as inappropriate e-peen public stroking and react accordingly by not giving a f***. I would consider giving perhaps half a f***, however, if it is a chocolate chip cookie, especially if it was warm and goey and fresh at the time of eating.

4. Disconnects: If I disconnect 5 seconds to extraction in a Platinum game that in which I used all my consumables, in addition to giving up over an hour of my life and losing a few fine hairs, then I will start a Bronze game with a Widow-wielding Drell Vanguard with SMG amps, and yes, I will not give a f***.

5. Balance Changes / Updates: If a nerf/buff is randomly released, or a new character is released that everyone else will repeatedly talk about, and I do not get the character for weeks, I will switch to a Reegar/Kroguard, play against the Geth, and reaffirm why I do not give a f***.

6. Voluses/Volii: If I want to play my cute and pudgy Volus by equipping a Typhoon Super Rambo Machine Gun half his size, then I will do it, and if anyone calls my Volus fat, I will not give a f***.

7. Store (Weapons): If I do not get a Harrier (insert Roman numeral here), then I will equip an Avenger on my Destroyer and start a Platinum game, and I will not give a f***.

8. Synchkill: If a Banshee teleports through solid rock to synch kill me, inches away from its own death, I will switch windows, watch Youtube videos of cute cats, and I will not give a f***.

9. Enemy Fire: If I get killed for the eleventh time by a Marauder shooting its Phaeston XXVII at my pinkie toe through a random crack in the wall, with the Marauder Marksman power that gives it a 647% damage bonus, rather than complain about them being so cheap they'd never buy anything in a dollar store, I will self-medigel, switch to missiles, and procede to nuke every single Marauder back from here to Thessia, and I will not give a f***.

10. Equipment: If a teammate equips a shotgun with a SMG Amp III, then I will press the spacebar and I say I am ready to play, and not give a f***.

11. AFK: If a teammate is AFK, I will die quickly, keep the credits, quit, and join a different game, all the while not complaining because I do not give a f***.

12. Color: If I want to make my Kroguard bright neon pink, then I will do so, and not give a f***.

13. Combos: If my power, such as Throw, does not set off a Biotic Explosion, then I will equip a Predator X and spam Throw repeatedly against everyone, including Scions, combos or not, and just not give a f*** about the combos.

14. Seeker Swarm: If, as a power-wielding class, I get stuck by a Seeker Swarm, then I will just spam my peashooter weapon relentlessly against anything that even breathes funny, and not give a f*** about my powers.

As I play more, I may add to the list of situations that I do would not give a f*** in. I suggest we all take a healthy look at the amount of f***s we give and perhaps budget our f***s more reasonably. For example, in the following situations, I may actually give a f***:

1. Wave 10: If it is Wave 10, on Platinum, the entire team is dead, and I am the only one left between broken hearts and 150k credits, then I will give a f***.

2. Good Teammates: If a cute, chubby Volus has been sticking to me like peanut butter to jelly by replenishing my shields the entire game, from start to finish, and it is Wave 11 and he is blocked from the extraction (bonus) by 5 Phantoms, 3 Scions, 1 Prime, and a Husk, then I will use my missiles and help him out, because I will give a f***.

3. Store: If, without having a Harrier in the first place, I get a Harrier X within 5 PSPs, then I will give a f***, because clearly the RNG God did.

4. Lag: If I am lagging, and I am host, then it must be unbelievably horrible for the others, so I will quit, because I will give a f***.

5. Turret: If an enemy spawns a turret of any kind, noting that a single Geth Prime Turret has brought down entire armies, then I will give a f***.

Thank you for reading. I hope describing to you how much I give a f*** has helped you consider budgeting your f***s as well.

inb4 umadbro inb4 idontgiveaf*** inb4 irony (sometimes sarcasm is not understood)

I'm Commander Obitim and this is my favourite post on BSN

seriously though, ace post and a definite perspective check!

Cheers!

[Flyers215]

TheCourier_1 wrote...

TJLenz wrote...

It's a good thing I saw this on my lunch break and could dry my tears of laughter in private.

Glad to see it had that effect on someone else too lol

[JShepppp]

Uh Cold wrote...

I do not know what to make of that pic lol...

[Learn To Love Yourself]

JShepppp wrote...

Uh Cold wrote...

I do not know what to make of that pic lol...

That is the same as his "O" face, meaning the thread was quite climaxingly enjoyable.

[doozerdude]

Kalas321 wrote...

tl;dr

[JShepppp]

Jack Crapper wrote...

JShepppp wrote...

Uh Cold wrote...

I do not know what to make of that pic lol...

That is the same as his "O" face, meaning the thread was quite climaxingly enjoyable.

Ah ok, thanks, both for the clarification and your support.

[JShepppp]

doozerdude wrote...

Kalas321 wrote...

tl;dr

Glad you didn't read it then, because you probably wouldn't understand it anyways.

[Uh Cold]

JShepppp wrote...


I do not know what to make of that pic lol...

[steamcamel]

Has anyone called China and told them we found their wall?

[NuclearTech76]

A little long but definitely worth the read. I must now balance my f*** budget.

[mackfactor]

Exceptional. Good threads are rare, and this one is good.

One issue - if someone calls your Volus fat, you should not give a f@#! but should give them a flying meatball charge to the face.

[Salzella]

i am all out of f***s. great thread.

[Kommandant Schaefer]

thread good

[Hyperglide]

[wrexthegrunt]

LtAdams2247 Origin wrote...

ME3MP Serenity. JShepppp has reached it and it is beautiful.

But what of flexability? F**k...

[Hyperglide]

[ctr2yellowbird]

5 star'd after reading point 4. Although, only #1 and #8 ever applied to me. gg hf

[JShepppp]

Hyperglide wrote...
*snip*

Good that you did not read. You probably would not understand it anyways, and therefore your input to this thread is greater by trolling than by actually commenting. 

[JShepppp]

mackfactor wrote...

Exceptional. Good threads are rare, and this one is good.

One issue - if someone calls your Volus fat, you should not give a f@#! but should give them a flying meatball charge to the face.

Indeed. Going in their line of sight and rolling around incessantly will have them die of laughter and throw off their aim, and this will be how our pudgy voluses will get revenge.