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Miss Ferelden 2009! Part II (Judge Commentary)


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#76
Spitz6860

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i gotta say this game turns me off from french accents completely, i actually did 2 years of french in high school. i think the teacher was French or Canadian or something, but she sounded completely different.

oh btw, after the Awakening comes out, you should consider letting the talking darkspawn replace the Grand Oak.

Modifié par Spitz6860, 09 janvier 2010 - 09:58 .


#77
TSamee

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^NEVER!



And, question, where is the Lady of the Forest?

#78
Herr Uhl

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TSamee wrote...
And, question, where is the Lady of the Forest?


Patience, she, Dagna, Branka, Bella, a desire demon and Andraste are coming up.

There might be some that I forgot there though.

#79
elys

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Spitz6860 wrote...

i gotta say this game turns me off from french accents completely, i actually did 2 years of french in high school. i think the teacher was French or Canadian or something, but she sounded completely different.

oh btw, after the Awakening comes out, you should consider letting the talking darkspawn replace the Grand Oak.


Your teacher might have been a Canadian with the Quebec's accent, which is different from the France french accent.

Even a french speaking french sounds different than the same french speaking english with an accent like in the game. It does not flow the same when speaking a different language.

Modifié par elys, 09 janvier 2010 - 12:02 .


#80
TSamee

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Hmmm.



Desire demon- too horny, mate: -5/10

Dagna- WAAAHT?! 1/10

Branka- I killed her, and it was fun.-4/10

Bella- At least she's not a pseudo-Orlesian ginger (no offense meant to the French, fully intended to gingers), 7/10

Andraste- Only ever seen her made out of rock, I get the feeling the Maker turned away because he was aware of his bad taste, 3/10

Dryad. No clothes. At. All. Any questions? 12/10




#81
Herr Uhl

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TSamee wrote...
Andraste- Only ever seen her made out of rock, I get the feeling the Maker turned away because he was aware of his bad taste, 3/10


Andraste the dragon.

And Dagna shall be the winner.

#82
TSamee

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Ah. I actually bothered to look at a picture just now. My score is now 7/10



Andraste the Dragon, hmm? Hot stuff, if you're into that kind of thing. 6/10



But please let me elaborate: No clothes. Face is Morrigan with black eyes. She's actually got a brain, despite being a spirit. She's GREEN. No clothes. New score for the Lady of the Forest is 15/0. The judges will have to divide by zero, become crippled and retarded and then I shall take over. Yeeeesss...

#83
Tirigon

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TSamee wrote...

But please let me elaborate: No clothes. Face is Morrigan with black eyes. She's actually got a brain, despite being a spirit. She's GREEN. No clothes. New score for the Lady of the Forest is 15/0.


I agree that Lady of the Forest is hot.
BUT!!! there is one major downside to her .... well, several, in fact. Let me explain:

  • She is ... a tree.  Or a wolf. Anyways, neither of that really fits my definition of "sexy"
  • She got a brain? I doubt it, I found her rather dumb and annoying.
  • No clothes, yes, but no nipples either. And she lacks the other female part, too. There is only wood.
  • She doesn´t look like Shianni.
  • She is not even a redhead; ok, she got black hair (what is usually good), but in a rather boring kind of black. And her haircut is bad.
  • She is not romanceable; quite a major minus I think
  • She gives you too much trouble with werewolves, trees and whatnot before you meet her.
  • If you fight Zathrian with her she just hangs around doing nothing; I dislike having to do the dirty work for others.
  • Face is Morrigan with black eyes: Not good imo. Morrigan is so not beautiful.
That´s 9 negatives.
Based on your rating I´d give her a maximum of 6 out of 15.
Ok, maybe 7, because Point 4 is rather subjective.

#84
TSamee

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fine, 6/0. You still have to divide by zero XD



TSamee uses "Retarded Reply!"

It's very effective!



Tirigon takes 40,000,000,000,000,000 points of fail damage

Tirigon has lost the battle.

#85
-Conspirator

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Shianna casts "Retard Shield" on Tirigon. Tirigon still has all his health points.

Shianna casts "Drunk readhead power" on TSamee. TSamee is stunned for 24h.

#86
TSamee

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TSamee uses Minor Essence of Coffee!
It's very effective!
Drunken Redhead Stun is removed!

TSamee activated "Sweaty-Palmed Pervert" mode!
TSamee uses "Inspect" on Shianni
TSamee is knocked out, requires Shaking Mystical Essence of Defibrilators -_-

Hmmm... Shianni... If you haven't played the city elf origin, you'd find her a bit so-so looking at the pic. Having said that, she looks a damn sight better than Dagna (and Gheyna, you could argue) in motion. Specifically, when she's sneaking up behind some bastard rapist human, bottle in hand. Hot stuff, that :wub:

Shianni, 9/0. If you make the judges divide by zero and become retarded, I'll pick Shianni. Cmon, you know you want to...

#87
KnightofPhoenix

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elys wrote...
Your teacher might have been a Canadian with the Quebec's accent, which is different from the France french accent.

Even a french speaking french sounds different than the same french speaking english with an accent like in the game. It does not flow the same when speaking a different language.


If Leliana spoke in a Quebecois accent I would have broken the disc in half. No offense to Quebecers.

#88
Lotion Soronarr

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*casts Epic Time Stop and proceeds to do all of the contestants....and shows a grenade in Tirigons ass*

#89
TSamee

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Ah, Lotion, you are a true gentleman, in every sense of the word.



Tirigon is afflicted with "Anal Warts Due To Machine Oil Covering Grenade Which Is Up His Ass"

It's very effective!

Tirigon fails, and requires medical attention. If only there was a DRYAD here to heal him...

#90
Euteras

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Leliana just stands there looking beautiful and singing. Watching the drama unfold. Two less contestants surely means more votes for the chantry girl.The only one with a demonstrable talent BTW.

#91
Tirigon

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-Conspirator wrote...

Shianna casts "Retard Shield" on Tirigon. Tirigon still has all his health points.
Shianna casts "Drunk readhead power" on TSamee. TSamee is stunned for 24h.


Thanks for the help, but she´s still called SHIANNI!!!!!!
with a f*cking i at the end!!!!!

Not Shianna........

#92
Tirigon

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TSamee wrote...

Ah, Lotion, you are a true gentleman, in every sense of the word.

Tirigon is afflicted with "Anal Warts Due To Machine Oil Covering Grenade Which Is Up His Ass"
It's very effective!
Tirigon fails, and requires medical attention. If only there was a DRYAD here to heal him...


Oh, no worries....
I´m a proud Owner of "The Witcher", I have prove that I slept with a dryad already...
And I got another one to heal me, so I´m back in battle right now....

*Tirigon casts "Shianni´s dreadful bottle of power" on TSamee and Lotion*
*those heretics are confused, dance around in circles and confess to be bloodmages*
*Tirigon calls the templars to finish them off*
*Tirigon goes home to watch the newest dryad porn while waiting for Shianni to come home, too*

#93
mrofni

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KnightofPhoenix wrote...

If Leliana spoke in a Quebecois accent I would have broken the disc in half. No offense to Quebecers.


I wish one of the characters spoke in an Australian accent. Maybe when another land is introduced...

#94
KnightofPhoenix

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A Russian accent, although completely out of place, would have sounded badass.

#95
-Conspirator

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Tirigon wrote...

-Conspirator wrote...

Shianna casts "Retard Shield" on Tirigon. Tirigon still has all his health points.
Shianna casts "Drunk readhead power" on TSamee. TSamee is stunned for 24h.


Thanks for the help, but she´s still called SHIANNI!!!!!!
with a f*cking i at the end!!!!!

Not Shianna........


Haha, I was kind of in a hurry when I wrote this, so please excuse me. You can calm down now ;-)

#96
Tirigon

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-Conspirator wrote...
Haha, I was kind of in a hurry when I wrote this, so please excuse me. You can calm down now ;-)


I shall NEVER calm down, until the world is free of all those heathens missspelling Shianni´s Name!
The divine FIRE shall PURIFY you, heathen!
HARHARHAR!!

*Tirigon breaks in manical laughter*

Leliana (with Quebecois accent): You must excuse him. That´s what can happen if the Maker speaks to you. I was like that myself, once.


#97
mrofni

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We need another post KnightOfPhoenix. It is getting slow again. I want some hot chicks and a dragon.

Modifié par mrofni, 10 janvier 2010 - 02:38 .


#98
murreah

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Isolde. (snorts)



I await for the judges' opinions on Shale!

#99
Tirigon

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mrofni wrote...

We need another post KnightOfPhoenix. It is getting slow again. I want some hot chicks and a dragon.


What about fire elementals?

I mean, they are pretty hot, aren´t they?

#100
TSamee

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Tirigon wrote...

mrofni wrote...

We need another post KnightOfPhoenix. It is getting slow again. I want some hot chicks and a dragon.


What about fire elementals?

I mean, they are pretty hot, aren´t they?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Hot... You get it, because it could be interpreted as physically attractive, or just confirming the fact the fire elementals are h... :mellow:

Oh.
Well, personally, here are my views as they stand:
Isolde- Still hot stuff, but doubtless nailed by Teagan. Repeatedly. -15/10 for cheating on the awesome old man she's married to.

Cauthrien, Leliana, Gheyna- failed. For obviously being a herm, being much less hot than her trailer-modded version, and being madly in love with Cammen, respectively: -100,000,000,000,000,000,000/10

Morrigan- Dammit, where is she? 7.5/10

Shianni- Bottle. Need I say more? 7/10

Anora- If she went with Zev and Teagan at the same time, she'd still be frigid. Utter failure, in so many ways. But she's obviously not inherited Loghain's looks, so 6/10 there. Still, Loghain is an utter badass once you get to know him :ph34r: