190 réponses à ce sujet

[Arppis]

Too kind.

[lil yonce]

I started a poll on this topic: Are You Kind?:

http://social.biowar...35/polls/43088/

@VeganTerror -- I counted you as unconditionally kind. You can change that in the poll vote if you want to though.

[lil yonce]

The Mad Hanar wrote...

While I never use honesty to demean someone, I am always as straightforward as I possibly can be; if for no other reason than to prevent being misunderstood. I suppose you can say that I lack tact. I usually try to make people see it from a different presepective, especially if they are upset because of something someone did. I try to put them in that person's shoes. If they want my opinion on something they are doing that I feel is wrong, I state why in the most calm and unjudgemental way that I can. The reason I do this is because I value honesty and I don't want to step on people's toes. It seems in my life that people always try to put things in a way that won't hurt my feelings rather than in a way that is rooted in reality. I don't find that particularly helpful. Since I want to be a person people can reliably come to I try to be as real as I can without being cruel. It's a tough balancing act.

As you've put it, I don't think you've been unkind. The brand of honesty I see online is usually, "I tell it like it is!" and that's almost always a perversion of honesty. That's typically honesty veiled in meanness.

Modifié par Youth4Ever, 21 janvier 2013 - 08:00 .

[TEWR]

[quote]Youth4Ever wrote...

What's your view on human nature? Humans are innately selfish?[/quote]

I consider myself a cynical person due to the life I've led. I'm skeptical of peoples' reasons for doing things, and I think people are -- generally -- predisposed towards losing control or perhaps serving their own interests first and foremost.

[quote]But any response you make must mirror theirs? You can't fake it with politeness? Niceness is a step down from kindness and almost everyone I know can be "nice" or polite when a situation calls for it as with a job. I'd say "niceness" is the broad area between kindness and meanness. It's a more political arena. You're polite usually not because you genuinely care, but because there are negative consequences of some kind for you not being so.[/quote]

I could. I do, in fact, just that during work because I need the job and money and I can swallow my pride during it. But during work is an example where walking away might not be possible -- I actually don't think I've ever lost my temper at a customer.

Outside of work however.... well.... I can't say I'm going to be the nicest person if someone's taking issue with something I'm doing and insults me for it.

[quote]You wouldn't call a mother who beats her child out unrelated anger loving though she otherwise treats that child fairly. Would you say a person has an honest character if they told the truth in every situation except for an instance they perjured themselves in court?[/quote]

That depends. What are they perjuring themselves about? Not everything is cut and dry, black and white, and so on.

Doing the dishonorable thing can in fact be the more honorable thing, for instance.  

[quote]And you are never boasting about kindness when you are being kind. Kindness comes from a relation of the heart. If you're doing something to show off or build yourself up in the eyes of others, you're not focusing no anyone other than yourself. You're not being kind. That's a fakeness. That's boasting. At most that's being "nice" and politicing for a social reward. Kindness never seeks anything in return.[/quote]

I never made this claim.

[quote]No, it's both really. I asked for IRL and Online self perceptions. I wanted to see if they were identical. They seem to be with most posters. I'm giving a speech in my Public Speaking class this week on the coarseness of internet culture and hoped to give the topic of kindness an exercise on the BSN in preparation.[/quote]

Ah! Interesting, most interesting.

Then I'd probably have to give a separate post expanding on my persona to appropriately describe who I am.

[quote]So, it's mostly about you when you're no longer being kind, or other posters you feel? In the instance you feel it is only about you, why do others have to pay for how you feel?[/quote]

Spur of the moment, mainly. I'll post something in a wroth manner but afterwards I'll find something else to do. Then I'll calm down. 

I'll say that one's judgement can definitely be clouded by anger.

[quote]But that's still sentiment. Kindness is not a sentiment. I don't you can feel kind like you can feel concern. I've never heard someone say, "I feel kind right now." You can't feel kind things. You do kind things. What you mentioned sounds like sympathy or empathy, and kindness goes beyond both. You've been kind when you act on sympathy or empathy. If this happened in your neighborhood and you visited the family to offer support that would be kind. If you picked up their other kids from school so they'd have one less thing to worry about, that's kindness.[/quote]

That's why I'm calling it a facet. It helps define what makes one a kind person, in my view.

[quote]
Did you write them a letter? If you believe in such things, did you pray for the family? That would be an act of kindness shown towards them. That's something feasible.[/quote]

The addresses aren't always shown.

But fair point on the prayer. 

[quote]Not simply concern but acting on that concern with benevolence constitues kindness. I don't particularly like the word concern as I can be concerned about a lot of things. I can be concerned about the economy. I can be concerned about a leaky faucet. I can be concerned about the spot on my shirt. Kindess requires more than concern or pity. It requires you relate to or empathize with someone and that's harder to do.[/quote]

But that's what I was talking about in the aforementioned missing person example. What you yourself described as me being a sympathetic/empathetic person.

[quote]I disagree. How do you know someone if everything about them is conditional? How do you trust them? How do you believe them if you can't count on to be who they say they are? Can you say someone is "A" when they do the opposite of "A" with regularity?[/quote]

If you're claiming they're "A" when you know they don't do "A", then you're not being truthful with yourself. You know them for being "B", but you want to believe they're "A" and call them such. But people are conditional. We don't react to the same circumstances the same way. 

[quote]
I think it is absolutely possible. There has to be a commitment to being so.[/quote]

But you might fall short. You might say... get a poor night's rest and be really irate with someone. I don't think anyone can claim they can live up to this model of kindness their entire life from the start of such a goal to say... death.

We don't know the future. We can't say how we'll react to what happens down the line. But I do think it is possible to focus on one over the other and have that be the superior one.

For instance, see this Cherokee proverb.


[quote]And anger is not irrational. Of course it's natural. But doing hurtful things out of anger is. Doing something because you have a feeling is irrational.[/quote]

Wouldn't that make anything we do irrational? Anything we do out of joy or sorrow, love or pain, fear or courage, etc.?

[quote]Everytime they start listening when you lose your temper?[/quote]

Yup. I don't just insult them. I do that and tell them how they're wrong in as eloquent a fashion I can, given my anger.

They may not like me for starting off by going "Listen, ****..." but they do listen to what I say.

[quote]But it's different. No one knows who you are on the interent. You could do things on the interent that seemingly would never affect your daily life. I think every action no matter the setting affects who you are, but some people don't and if they made such distinctions, I thought it would be worthwhile to note.[/quote]

True.

[quote]
If you know the person -- you give to them or see them often enough -- maybe the next step in showing kindness is helping them in a more long term beneficial way.[/quote]

I don't know the person though, nor do I see them often enough. I just have a doubt that the money itself will be spent on food.

[quote]
But whatever the insult, do you feel you made it because it made your argument better or because it made you feel better? I don't think there is a wrong answer.
[/quote]

Both. They're not inherently mutually exclusive things, though more often then not they are.

Modifié par The Ethereal Writer Redux, 22 janvier 2013 - 12:10 .

[Hainkpe]

My basic rule is, treat me how you want to be treated. If you are kind to me, I will be kind to you. If you are indifferent, then I am indifferent to you. Most of the time, I am civil. I will be respectful to those who have earned it. I will be rude to those who are rude to me.

It has been my experience people are inherently selfish. Very few think beyond themselves to such an extend that they will help or be kind to others, without some kind of recourse. Altruism is rare. Truly altruistic people, more so.

To find one person, who is kind, loving and truly interested in you as a person, is difficult. It happens. Except many people are suspicious of such people. When people are hurt over and over, we tend to not want to invest in others. Its understandable. Yet, to keep trying, keeps the possibly open to people. Being cynical is easy. Being humane is often a vey high goal. Kindness comes from the willingness to be open which can lead to hurt or lead to caring.

[lil yonce]

[quote]The Ethereal Writer Redux wrote...

I consider myself a cynical person due to the life I've led. I'm skeptical of peoples' reasons for doing things, and I think people are -- generally -- predisposed towards losing control or perhaps serving their own interests first and foremost.[/quote]
So you weren't cynical to begin? That's something the world taught you to be? If selfishness were written on your heart -- if that is who you are why don't you think you were cynical to begin? Or do you think the world exposes latent characteristics?



[quote]I could. I do, in fact, just that during work because I need the job and money and I can swallow my pride during it. But during work is an example where walking away might not be possible -- I actually don't think I've ever lost my temper at a customer. Outside of work however.... well.... I can't say I'm going to be the nicest person if someone's taking issue with something I'm doing and insults me for it.[/quote]
It's interesting you brought up pride. You can temper your pride at work not because you want but because you have to. But when your livelihood is not in question pride comes first? And I don't mean dignity -- pride more as in a mild hubris as I don't think kindness ever commands you disregard your dignity. Or do you think differently on that?



[quote]That depends. What are they perjuring themselves about? Not everything is cut and dry, black and white, and so on. Doing the dishonorable thing can in fact be the more honorable thing, for instance. [/quote]
Something would be considered dishonorable because a law, social rule, cultural expectation, etc., condemns it as such. Those rules can be just or unjust and breaking them would be honorable or dishonorable accordingly. But I've never heard of lying as being generally honorable. In a certain social climate you might be a "good" friend if you lie for someone but was that honorable? The content of or reason for a lie doesn't negate it. If you are deliberately false on such an important stage are you an honest person?



[quote]I never made this claim.[/quote]
Perhaps I interpreted a line you wrote wrongly. "The argument can be made that being kind at the worst of times shows how you're kind in the best light compared to everything else."  I read from that sentence an act that builds you up because in comparsion others are unkind in bad situations. But what did you mean?



[quote]Ah! Interesting, most interesting. Then I'd probably have to give a separate post expanding on my persona to appropriately describe who I am.[/quote]
Go ahead or you can PM me. David Gaider's "toxicity" comment was a factor in this. The surge in cyberbullying another. The use of social media to mock another. The responses have been so enlightening. Most people are "nice" to users on their friends list -- kind even -- but rarely if ever nice or kind to anyone who upsets them. It's unrealistic to expect human interaction will not lead to discrepencies or states of upsetness for participants and because everyone in this thread knows that they base their response around breakdowns in discourse. With conditional kindness aren't many posters essentially saying "I'm going to be unkind. I know it. I anticipate it. I can tell you in what situation it will happen exactly. But I still believe I'm a kind person." It's very interesting.



[quote]Spur of the moment, mainly. I'll post something in a wroth manner but afterwards I'll find something else to do. Then I'll calm down. I'll say that one's judgement can definitely be clouded by anger.[/quote]
I think I should identify my terms. I used the term "pay" in this instance and it wasn't meant negatively. This thread has demonstrated that posters generally "repay" every action. Many posters said they are kind when people are kind to them. They're mean when people are mean to them. They "payback" what they receive. Similary, feelings are paid for. That expression, "There will be hell to pay!" if something doesn't happen the way I want. If I have to feel this way I'm going to get "payback". You can't repay kindness. You "pay it forward". It's certainly difficult to pay it foward when your initial reaction is to repay.



[quote]That's why I'm calling it a facet. It helps define what makes one a kind person, in my view.[/quote]
Then I think our defintions are different. Kindness as I know it would be an action and not a feeling.



[quote]The addresses aren't always shown. But fair point on the prayer. [/quote]
Just examples. There are of course other ways to be kind.



[quote]But that's what I was talking about in the aforementioned missing person example. What you yourself described as me being a sympathetic/empathetic person.[/quote]
You can be empathtic and still not be kind. Kindness as I know it is when you act on the empathy.



[quote]If you're claiming they're "A" when you know they don't do "A", then you're not being truthful with yourself. You know them for being "B", but you want to believe they're "A" and call them such. But people are conditional. We don't react to the same circumstances the same way. [/quote]
If you don't know and all you have is their word like with a friend or a colleague.

Have you heard about the Manti Te'o girlfriend hoax? By all accounts he was an honest young man. Fantastic leadership material. But he lied to the media for three years about certain aspects of his relationship with what ultimately was revealed to be an imaginary woman. He claims he was duped and a victim of the hoax like everyone else. He says he "catered" stories about their online relationship so others wouldn't judge that in three years he'd never met her in person.

Nortre Dame is standing by him and vouches for his previously described character. NFL teams that were seeking to draft him are now unsure of him as a first round pick. They thought they knew the player they were going to get. Now they don't. Which Manti are they going to draft? Which one will show up on gameday? Devout Mormon Manti or Girlfriend Hoax Manti? Is that a fair question for them to ask? For them to be unsure about?



[quote]But you might fall short. You might say... get a poor night's rest and be really irate with someone. I don't think anyone can claim they can live up to this model of kindness their entire life from the start of such a goal to say... death.[/quote]
So I shouldn't try because I might fail? I should allow myself to be unkind because the night wasn't kind to me?

I know a very kind person. She gets off work and she's tired and wants to go home but instead she takes her relatives who don't have a car to the store. She could tell them to catch the bus and tough it out but she doesn't. She visited her ailing brother every day in a nursing home until he died despite the fact he talked poorly about her marriage and finances the entirety of their relationship. Instead of buying herself something she'd been wanting this past Christmas, she spent the money on gifts for her family to make sure everyone received something that day. She doesn't have much money but everytime I see her she buys me something to eat. She has poor health. She rarely feels well. But that never affects what she's willing to do for others. There is such a thing as truly kind.



[quote]We don't know the future. We can't say how we'll react to what happens down the line. But I do think it is possible to focus on one over the other and have that be the superior one.[/quote]
I think everyone in this thread has stated very clearly how and when they're going to act on the topic of kindness. They're going to be kind unless someone is unkind to them. They're going to be kind but not when they've had a bad day. They're going to be kind to these people specifically and not others. They're going to be kind except when they've been insulted. etc.



[quote]Wouldn't that make anything we do irrational? Anything we do out of joy or sorrow, love or pain, fear or courage, etc.?[/quote]
No. You've reasoned when you're being kind. You determined you are going to do something reasonable. You meet a hungry person? Feed them. That's reasonable -- that makes sense as opposed to averting your eyes and walking past them or being "nice" and making small talk with them about the weather while you wait for the bus.

When you punch a wall out of anger its unreasonable behavior because doing so will, for example, make others around you uncomforable -- they might call the police. A hole or dent has to be repaired. Your reputation may be harmed. etc. But despite it being unreasonable -- irrational -- you did it anyway. It didn't help you or anyone. Similar acts are irrational.



[quote]Yup. I don't just insult them. I do that and tell them how they're wrong in as eloquent a fashion I can, given my anger. They may not like me for starting off by going "Listen, ****..." but they do listen to what I say.[/quote]
Do you think they're listening to you or fixating on the insult? And after being insulted do they repay the insult?



[quote]Both. They're not inherently mutually exclusive things, though more often then not they are.[/quote]
Then how did it make your argument better?

Modifié par Youth4Ever, 24 janvier 2013 - 06:06 .

[lil yonce]

Belyn wrote...

My basic rule is, treat me how you want to be treated. If you are kind to me, I will be kind to you. If you are indifferent, then I am indifferent to you. Most of the time, I am civil. I will be respectful to those who have earned it. I will be rude to those who are rude to me.

But do you think people want to be treated poorly? Do you think they were mean to you because they want to be treated meanly? When you were rude to someone did that mean you wanted to be treated rudely?

To find one person, who is kind, loving and truly interested in you as a person, is difficult. It happens. Except many people are suspicious of such people. When people are hurt over and over, we tend to not want to invest in others. Its understandable. Yet, to keep trying, keeps the possibly open to people. Being cynical is easy. Being humane is often a vey high goal. Kindness comes from the willingness to be open which can lead to hurt or lead to caring.

People often don't empathize with one another and kindness is born of empathy. It's easier to entirely demonize than it is to acknowledge someone is just like you in some way. We often don't relate to each other yet we're social beings. Absolute recipe for disaster.

[Hainkpe]

Youth4Ever wrote...
But do you think people want to be treated poorly? Do you think they were mean to you because they want to be treated meanly? When you were rude to someone did that mean you wanted to be treated rudely?

I do not know what people want for themselves. I would not know until I ask them. I can only speak for myself. I cannot place suppositions on why they acted as they did. Their behavior is derived from their thoughts and actions. Very little of which has to do with me. Unless, of course, I am the reason for the behavior but even then, thoughts and actions are a result of what we are taught. What we learned and experienced. To say it was all because of me would be giving too much responsibility to me and not enough to the individual acting out.

People often don't empathize with one another and kindness is born of empathy. It's easier to entirely demonize than it is to acknowledge someone is just like you in some way. We often don't relate to each other yet we're social beings. Absolute recipe for disaster.

Empathy is a choice. We choose how and when we, as humans, will be empathetic. Most of the time we are focused on our own issues and problems. Its human nature. Few look outside themselves to help others. Fewer still devote their lives to such pursuits. Yet, there are those that do. Because they believe in it, because being of service to others fulfills their needs, or for a million other reasons.

More often, people are just focused on them. If humans could be less selfish and more empathetic than perhaps we can go far. It all depends. It's also a choice.

Modifié par Belyn, 23 janvier 2013 - 12:33 .

[lil yonce]

Belyn wrote...

Youth4Ever wrote...
But do you think people want to be treated poorly? Do you think they were mean to you because they want to be treated meanly? When you were rude to someone did that mean you wanted to be treated rudely?

I do not know what people want for themselves. I would not know until I ask them. I can only speak for myself. I cannot place suppositions on why they acted as they did. Their behavior is derived from their thoughts and actions. Very little of which has to do with me. Unless, of course, I am the reason for the behavior but even then, thoughts and actions are a result of what we are taught. What we learned and experienced. To say it was all because of me would be giving too much responsibility to me and not enough to the individual acting out.

But what about you? When you were rude or indifferent or mean did that mean that's how you wanted to be treated?

Empathy is a choice. We choose how and when we, as humans, will be empathetic. Most of the time we are focused on our own issues and problems. Its human nature. Few look outside themselves to help others. Fewer still devote their lives to such pursuits. Yet, there are those that do. Because they believe in it, because being of service to others fulfills their needs, or for a million other reasons. More often, people are just focused on them. If humans could be less selfish and more empathetic than perhaps we can go far. It all depends. It's also a choice.

Would you say you're a selfish person?

Modifié par Youth4Ever, 23 janvier 2013 - 01:00 .

[Hainkpe]

Youth4Ever wrote...
But what about you? When you were rude or indifferent or mean did that mean that's how you wanted to be treated?

When I am mean, rude or indifferent, I am not surprised if I receive the same treatment. That's usually not the case though. Most are surprised when it happens. 

For example: I was at the gym, doing seated cable rows, when my ear buds disconnected from my iPhone. I was in between sets, I pulled out my phone reconnectd my earbuds, saw a text and laughed and was about to start again. Just then a woman walks up and asks if I was almost done. I said I was on my last set then she could have it. She looked at me and said, "We're suppose to share you know." I looked at her and said, "You're being very rude." She looked taken back and then became defensive. "Well, your just sitting there messing with your phone..." I stopped her and told her, "I don't want to hear your excuses. You can use it when I am done. Now, get away from me."  She stammered then walked over to the attendant. I finished my set and continued on with my workout. 

Now, from her point of view, I was being rude. From my point of view, she was being rude. We were rude to each other. Had she listened and let me finish my set, she would have had the machine but she chose to make her statement. I don't know why she said that but she did. Her words propagated my reaction. 

Would you say you're a selfish person?

Yes. I am not afraid to admit it. I also giving. I am also mean and I am also kind. I am everything that a human can be. To say no would be untruthful. 

Modifié par Belyn, 23 janvier 2013 - 01:42 .

[lil yonce]

Belyn wrote...

Youth4Ever wrote...
But what about you? When you were rude or indifferent or mean did that mean that's how you wanted to be treated?

When I am mean, rude or indifferent, I am not surprised if I receive the same treatment. That's usually not the case though. Most are surprised when it happens. 

-- Snip --

Now, from her point of view, I was being rude. From my point of view, she was being rude. We were rude to each other. Had she listened and let me finish my set, she would have had the machine but she chose to make her statement. I don't know why she said that but she did. Her words propagated my reaction. 

Her rudeness may have invited your rudeness but does your being rude signal you wanted to be treated rudely. Did you want someone to be rude to you in the instance you were rude?

Yes. I am not afraid to admit it. I also giving. I am also mean and I am also kind. I am everything that a human can be. To say no would be untruthful. 

Then you believe you can be two or more things at once? Even if they conflict? Or do you simply do mean or selfish things but in truth you are giving and kind?

[Hainkpe]

Youth4Ever wrote...
Her rudeness may have invited your rudeness but does your being rude signal you wanted to be treated rudely. Did you want someone to be rude to you in the instance you were rude?

In regards to strangers, no. Why would I? The underlying philosophical construct, or my own personal algorithm is this, I care very little for strangers in general. If they are a person on the street and they are safe, going about their lives, I pay little attention to them. If the circumstance changes, they are in danger, something occurs, then my perception of them changes. Then so too does my behavior. 

Then you believe you can be two or more things at once? Even if they conflict? Or do you simply do mean or selfish things but in truth you are giving and kind?

I am two or more things at once. Emotions do not occur one at a time. Emotions do not conflict but occur in a continuum. What is mean and selfish? Is it a behavior or an emotion, a belief? How do you define it? 

[happy_daiz]

Belyn wrote...
Yes. I am not afraid to admit it. I also giving. I am also mean and I am also kind. I am everything that a human can be. To say no would be untruthful. 

I think you're hella awesome, tbh.

[Hainkpe]

happy_daiz wrote...

Belyn wrote...
Yes. I am not afraid to admit it. I also giving. I am also mean and I am also kind. I am everything that a human can be. To say no would be untruthful. 

I think you're hella awesome, tbh.

You're hella awesome too, tbh. 

[CrimsonN7]

Yes I am and if anyone says otherwise I'll beat them!

Modifié par CrimsonN7, 23 janvier 2013 - 04:41 .

[CrimsonN7]

frudi wrote...

CrimsonN7 wrote...

Yes I am and if anyone says otherwise I'll beat them!

No, you're not. There I said it... do I get a beating from you now?

You you dare call me out, I'm gonna spank you back to the Stone Age for this!

Modifié par CrimsonN7, 23 janvier 2013 - 04:46 .

[RedArmyShogun]

Oh well to answer the OP. I'm a male Tsundere. And if you try and force the issue I WILL F'ing stab you. Repeatidly. So no I'm not kind of the bat. But to those I come to like meh...

[gneisenau556]

RedArmyShogun wrote...

Oh well to answer the OP. I'm a male Tsundere. And if you try and force the issue I WILL ****g stab you. Repeatidly. So no I'm not kind of the bat. But to those I come to like meh...

Doesn't that make you a yandere ?

[lil yonce]

Belyn wrote...

In regards to strangers, no. Why would I? The underlying philosophical construct, or my own personal algorithm is this, I care very little for strangers in general. If they are a person on the street and they are safe, going about their lives, I pay little attention to them. If the circumstance changes, they are in danger, something occurs, then my perception of them changes. Then so too does my behavior.

Interesting response. You generally don't notice them or you don't care?

I am two or more things at once. Emotions do not occur one at a time. Emotions do not conflict but occur in a continuum. What is mean and selfish? Is it a behavior or an emotion, a belief? How do you define it? 

Can you feel something that isn't an emotion? You are mean. You are selfish. You are kind. You are giving. For example, do you wake up feeling mean? Do you wake up feeling giving? Or is it you really you wake up feeling angry? Or wake up feeling happy? And really you just do mean things and act selfishly? You truly can't be giving and be selfish at the same time. To say you are a giving person would imply that's who you actively are. To say you are a selfish person would imply that's who you actively are. Those behaviors conflict. Can you truly be both?

Modifié par Youth4Ever, 24 janvier 2013 - 03:00 .

[RedArmyShogun]

gneisenau556 wrote...

RedArmyShogun wrote...

Oh well to answer the OP. I'm a male Tsundere. And if you try and force the issue I WILL ****g stab you. Repeatidly. So no I'm not kind of the bat. But to those I come to like meh...

Doesn't that make you a yandere ?

Nah a Yandere is like the reverse in a way.

http://en.wikipedia....ime_and_manga#Y I like to think I'm sane more often that not.

[lil yonce]

Note -- I'm giving a speech on this topic on Monday for my Public Speaking class, so I'd like to get as many responses as I can between now and Sunday night. I want this assignment to be as interesting and comprehensive as possible. If you could tell other forumites about the "Are You Kind?" poll or prompt them to leave a quick response in this thread, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

EDIT: Speech has been delayed to Tuesday. Monday night will now be my poll deadline.

Modifié par Youth4Ever, 24 janvier 2013 - 06:52 .

[lil yonce]

RedArmyShogun wrote...

Oh well to answer the OP. I'm a male Tsundere. And if you try and force the issue I WILL ****g stab you. Repeatidly. So no I'm not kind of the bat. But to those I come to like meh...

Okay, I had a chance to look up Tsundere. The description on Wikipedia said the character is combative but "kind on the inside". Would you say that is an accurate description of you? Would you describe yourself as "kind, but..." or not generally kind?

[Hainkpe]

Youth4Ever wrote...
Interesting response. You generally don't notice them or you don't care?

I don't notice and I don't care if I notice. Its none of my business. If they are safe and going about their business then its none of my business and I do not make it my business. If the situation changes, then so too does my perception. If a child is being beaten, someone is being robbed, someone is injured, then I make the choice to intervene or give aid if I can.

Can you feel something that isn't an emotion? You are mean. You are selfish. You are kind. You are giving. For example, do you wake up feeling mean? Do you wake up feeling giving? Or is it you really you wake up feeling angry? Or wake up feeling happy? And really you just do mean things and act selfishly? You truly can't be giving and be selfish at the same time. To say you are a giving person would imply that's who you actively are. To say you are a selfish person would imply that's who you actively are. Those behaviors conflict. Can you truly be both?

What is your definition of kindness? Kindness can be an emotion, a thought or a behavior. Kindness is usually born out of the personality characteristics of compassion, generosity and benevolence. Yes you can physically feel things that are not emotions but, "feelings" as a word usually mean emotions.

Feelings as emotions, the four basic are happy, sad, angry, scared. From those all other emotions are derived. We learn what our emotions are through experience. Personality characteristics are based in our biological, sociological and environmental influences. 

Within a human being, emotions, thoughts and behaviors can occur simultaneously and have different reasons for occurring. There is also intent. What does the person want to see happen and what do they want to obtain from the situation.

Humans are not just... kind. Or just mean. Or just selfish. Its not that simple. Humans have thoughts, that create emotions that propagate a behavior or more thoughts. All of this occurs very quickly and sometimes simultaneously.  

When kindness is researched, its usually acts of kindness that is studied. Acts are behaviors. Thus, you really need to define what kindness is, as you are looking at it.