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Any tips on how to fake illness?


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#26
uberman409

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OP should open his veins to the sky for being such an ignorant butthole that he's trying to get out of work just because he doesn't like it, when he should be grateful that he even has a job paying 24 grand a year.

#27
Squiggles1334

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I hope this OP goes broke and homeless for a year or two if it will teach him to stop whining about having a job.

#28
Borschtbeet

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Back from work.



All I have to say to some of the more negative comments here is that work is not an honor. I would rather be employed than unemployed no doubt, but I am not working for charity here and I don't owe anyone my labour.

There are standards that are expected of me but I have rights as an employee too and if I feel my work is trying to take advantage of me, hell yes I'll try to weasel out of it.



There are a few tech repairs on my shift who love their job. I don't know why. They're useful though because they can sometimes cover my shifts. Last month I only had a 3 day work week in fact because I convinced enough people to cover for me.



24 grand a year blows but it is enough to survive if you live by yourself like I do.

#29
uberman409

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Borschtbeet wrote...

Back from work.

All I have to say to some of the more negative comments here is that work is not an honor. I would rather be employed than unemployed no doubt, but I am not working for charity here and I don't owe anyone my labour.
There are standards that are expected of me but I have rights as an employee too and if I feel my work is trying to take advantage of me, hell yes I'll try to weasel out of it.

There are a few tech repairs on my shift who love their job. I don't know why. They're useful though because they can sometimes cover my shifts. Last month I only had a 3 day work week in fact because I convinced enough people to cover for me.

24 grand a year blows but it is enough to survive if you live by yourself like I do.


You know how many people would kill to work on a saturday? You sicken me.

#30
Borschtbeet

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The only people who actually enjoy their jobs are porn stars.

#31
Jae Onasi

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Borschtbeet wrote...

Back from work.

All I have to say to some of the more negative comments here is that work is not an honor. I would rather be employed than unemployed no doubt, but I am not working for charity here and I don't owe anyone my labour.
There are standards that are expected of me but I have rights as an employee too and if I feel my work is trying to take advantage of me, hell yes I'll try to weasel out of it.
.

Welcome to Real Life.  If you've signed a contract that says they can call you in on short notice, then you do have the responsibility to go in to work, and you actually do owe your company then.  That's the way business works in the Real World.

You can try to continue to get out of work, but I can guarantee you that when it comes time for promotion considerations, your behaviors won't go unnoticed.  The techs who love to come in for work will be considered long before you do.  If your company decides to lay people off, you'll likely be the first to be considered as one of the people to cut since you so frequently try to get out of work.   When it comes to pay raises, you'll be one of the last to be considered.  When it comes to gaining references so that you can get a better job either in that company or somewhere else, it won't happen.  Who in their right mind is going to give a good reference to someone who tries to get out of work all the time and lies about being sick so he doesn't have to go in to work?  All you're doing is hurting yourself by trying to get out of work all the time. 

Edit: I'm a doctor, I work on some Saturdays, I love my profession and my job.

Modifié par Jae Onasi, 09 janvier 2010 - 10:52 .


#32
Borschtbeet

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Jae Onasi wrote...

Borschtbeet wrote...

Back from work.

All I have to say to some of the more negative comments here is that work is not an honor. I would rather be employed than unemployed no doubt, but I am not working for charity here and I don't owe anyone my labour.
There are standards that are expected of me but I have rights as an employee too and if I feel my work is trying to take advantage of me, hell yes I'll try to weasel out of it.
.

Welcome to Real Life.  If you've signed a contract that says they can call you in on short notice, then you do have the responsibility to go in to work, and you actually do owe your company then.  That's the way business works in the Real World.

You can try to continue to get out of work, but I can guarantee you that when it comes time for promotion considerations, your behaviors won't go unnoticed.  The techs who love to come in for work will be considered long before you do.  If your company decides to lay people off, you'll likely be the first to be considered as one of the people to cut since you so frequently try to get out of work.   When it comes to pay raises, you'll be one of the last to be considered.  When it comes to gaining references so that you can get a better job either in that company or somewhere else, it won't happen.  Who in their right mind is going to give a good reference to someone who tries to get out of work all the time and lies about being sick so he doesn't have to go in to work?  All you're doing is hurting yourself by trying to get out of work all the time. 

Edit: I'm a doctor, I work on some Saturdays, I love my profession and my job.


Wow...thanks mom!  You make a habit out of telling people how they should live their personal lives and nosing into other people's business?  
If you must know, I didn't sign any contract to work Saturday's.  In fact I could get by on a part time salary.  The reason I try to keep good attendance though is that it curries favor with management which is why I have been able to remain on the Dell/Gateway(AKA easy) team.
I'm aware of my responsibilities but don't think for a second that this crap management pulls off at the last second is something I'm obliged to do.  
You think I care about this crappy corporate job enough to be concerned with the morals behind faking my illness?  Hell no!  I'm not curing cancer, or fighting aids here.  I'm helping a bunch of rich a-holes get richer.  My paycheck is all that matters to me and the ends justify the means.  
If you don't like that, then shove off.

Modifié par Borschtbeet, 09 janvier 2010 - 10:59 .


#33
uberman409

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Apathy breeds ruin. If all you care about is your paycheck, if you don't care about any other bit of it, then you're part of the cancer killing Humanity. Congratulations. When we're at the level of civilization shown in Idiocracy because everyone wanted it all to be easy, didn't want to work, had the same foolish excuses that you have, I'm gonna be spitting on you from wherever we go after death.

#34
Borschtbeet

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uberman409 wrote...

Apathy breeds ruin. If all you care about is your paycheck, if you don't care about any other bit of it, then you're part of the cancer killing Humanity. Congratulations. When we're at the level of civilization shown in Idiocracy because everyone wanted it all to be easy, didn't want to work, had the same foolish excuses that you have, I'm gonna be spitting on you from wherever we go after death.


Does it really matter what my motivations and feelings are for the job?  All that matters to management is that I do my job and all that matters to me is that I get my paycheck.
I do my job, I get paid, everyone is happy.  Who gives a rat's ass whether or not I feel motivated by anything other than my desire to get money to pay my bills, buy video games and pursue my hobbies?

You think the stockholders of the company I work for care whether or not I actually like what I do?

Motivation means nothing for a job like mine, only results.  The company I work for is so huge with so many hundreds of employees that the time I get off through my "apathy" hardly even matters.  Nobody is going to suffer, or get ripped off because I want a little extra free time.

#35
uberman409

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Borschtbeet wrote...

uberman409 wrote...

Apathy breeds ruin. If all you care about is your paycheck, if you don't care about any other bit of it, then you're part of the cancer killing Humanity. Congratulations. When we're at the level of civilization shown in Idiocracy because everyone wanted it all to be easy, didn't want to work, had the same foolish excuses that you have, I'm gonna be spitting on you from wherever we go after death.


Does it really matter what my motivations and feelings are for the job?  All that matters to management is that I do my job and all that matters to me is that I get my paycheck.
I do my job, I get paid, everyone is happy.  Who gives a rat's ass whether or not I feel motivated by anything other than my desire to get money to pay my bills, buy video games and pursue my hobbies?

You think the stockholders of the company I work for care whether or not I actually like what I do?

Motivation means nothing for a job like mine, only results.  The company I work for is so huge with so many hundreds of employees that the time I get off through my "apathy" hardly even matters.  Nobody is going to suffer, or get ripped off because I want a little extra free time.


I bet that hundreds of thousands of people tell themselves the exact same things you do. The thing is, hundreds of thousands of people pushing ever-so-slightly the same way breeds results.

#36
Borschtbeet

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I'm sure they do. Despite that, we still meet our numbers for the week.

Taking a day off on Monday may mean we're expected to have a few more completes the next day than we're normally expected, but it's worth it for that delicious, sweet, free time where I can just relax. Maybe go to the gym, turn on my computer and have a grand adventure!

#37
uberman409

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Sure thing, Mr. Frito Pendejo.

#38
Borschtbeet

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uberman409 wrote...

Sure thing, Mr. Frito Pendejo.


HAHA!  You take that movie too seriously.

That movie doesn't even make any sense.  If society were filled with people that stupid, there wouldn't be any technology, government or civilization at all.  

#39
CaptainProphesy

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Borschtbeet wrote...
Wow...thanks mom!  You make a habit out of telling people how they should live their personal lives and nosing into other people's business?  
I



ummm actually you made it her business by posting it on a public forum!

#40
uberman409

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Borschtbeet wrote...

uberman409 wrote...

Sure thing, Mr. Frito Pendejo.


HAHA!  You take that movie too seriously.

That movie doesn't even make any sense.  If society were filled with people that stupid, there wouldn't be any technology, government or civilization at all.  


I'm not gonna argue with tards on the internet. It's stupid.

Image IPB

#41
Guest_Capt. Obvious_*

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uberman409 wrote...

Borschtbeet wrote...

uberman409 wrote...

Sure thing, Mr. Frito Pendejo.


HAHA!  You take that movie too seriously.

That movie doesn't even make any sense.  If society were filled with people that stupid, there wouldn't be any technology, government or civilization at all.  


I'm not gonna argue with tards on the internet. It's stupid.

Image IPB


Why can't I stop laughing at this?

#42
Borschtbeet

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CaptainProphesy wrote...

Borschtbeet wrote...
Wow...thanks mom!  You make a habit out of telling people how they should live their personal lives and nosing into other people's business?  
I



ummm actually you made it her business by posting it on a public forum!


I posted asking for advice on how to fake an illness.  People were generous in their attempts to assist me despite my failure.
I did not ask anyone to solve a moral dilemma I don't give a damn about.
If you care so deeply about the welfare of my company's founder, then maybe you should send him your paycheck.

I'm sure my occasional days off are hurting his lifestyle of yachting in the Bahamas, or visiting one of his mistresses in his cabin in the snowy alps of  Aspen Colorado.

I lose sleep over it, really.

#43
Dark Lilith

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I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB

#44
CaptainProphesy

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Dark Lilith wrote...

I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB



I know...maybe even paint litle red dots on his face and say he has the measles. :lol:

#45
Dark Lilith

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CaptainProphesy wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB



I know...maybe even paint litle red dots on his face and say he has the measles. :lol:

thats a great idea. come here honey, mommy will fix you up.

#46
Borschtbeet

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Dark Lilith wrote...

CaptainProphesy wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB



I know...maybe even paint litle red dots on his face and say he has the measles. :lol:

thats a great idea. come here honey, mommy will fix you up.


Cool, while you're at it tell them I occasionally foam at the mouth.  That might keep my supervisor from peeking over my desk while I use customer's computers to fool around on the internet.

#47
Dark Lilith

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Borschtbeet wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

CaptainProphesy wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB



I know...maybe even paint litle red dots on his face and say he has the measles. :lol:

thats a great idea. come here honey, mommy will fix you up.


Cool, while you're at it tell them I occasionally foam at the mouth.  That might keep my supervisor from peeking over my desk while I use customer's computers to fool around on the internet.

ok,but you'll have to take "mommy' out for a real nice dinner*hint hint*Image IPB

#48
uberman409

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Dark Lilith wrote...

Borschtbeet wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

CaptainProphesy wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB



I know...maybe even paint litle red dots on his face and say he has the measles. :lol:

thats a great idea. come here honey, mommy will fix you up.


Cool, while you're at it tell them I occasionally foam at the mouth.  That might keep my supervisor from peeking over my desk while I use customer's computers to fool around on the internet.

ok,but you'll have to take "mommy' out for a real nice dinner*hint hint*Image IPB


Come on, he's a Solarian. Haven't you heard the stories?

#49
Guest_Capt. Obvious_*

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uberman409 wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

Borschtbeet wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

CaptainProphesy wrote...

Dark Lilith wrote...

I'll write you a note saying your ill and that as your mother I'm keeping you at home!Image IPB



I know...maybe even paint litle red dots on his face and say he has the measles. :lol:

thats a great idea. come here honey, mommy will fix you up.


Cool, while you're at it tell them I occasionally foam at the mouth.  That might keep my supervisor from peeking over my desk while I use customer's computers to fool around on the internet.

ok,but you'll have to take "mommy' out for a real nice dinner*hint hint*Image IPB


Come on, he's a Solarian. Haven't you heard the stories?


So, how did this topic turn into a hate-fest?

#50
uberman409

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I'm taking out my hatred for Solarians on him. Duh.



'sides, haven't you heard the stories?