211 réponses à ce sujet

[soulstriker09]

^TERRIBLE

I'm also laughing. DAMMIT ((:

[Titus Thongger]

quiet please make it stop!

[Scottywest]

A Turian and a Volus walk into a bar.
The Volus orders two drinks then asks the Turian for the money.
The Turian says, "I thought you were buying?"
The Volus says, "Nah, I'm a little short."

[bk577]

Which is better for a short distance travel? A Taxi or a Vanguard?

Short answer : Makes little difference, they both charge as much.

Long Answer : To be on the safe-side, a Taxi because eventhough sometimes you are over-charged a bit for a taxi ride, a Vanguard will most certainly double the charge(or more) and drop you off in hostile territory.

Modifié par bk577, 10 mai 2013 - 11:04 .

[Shamurai One]

stysiaq wrote...

An N7 operative walks into a store.

"*ksssk* How can I help you, Earth-clan?" the store owner asks.

The operative scratches his head and checks his Omni-tool.

"Well", he says, "I need upgrades for the M7-Lancer, some shield boosters and some medi-gel"

The store owner checks his console.

"*ksssk* Very well. This will be..."

"No, no, no!" The human interrupts, laughs, and gives the clerk a blindfold. "Just put five random things in my cart. I'm feeling lucky today. Here's 99000 credits for your trouble".

MY FAVORITE SO FAR!

My addition:
What do you call a Geth Trooper colored all pink and purple and looking FAB U LOUS!!!

- A Flamer, of course...

[Hirngespinst]

stysiaq wrote...

Is the ME3 MP on the WiiU broken?

No, it's working as Nintendo.

Nice one

[Jaykay710]

What is a Vorcha's favorite energy drink?

Monster!!


What is a Turian's favorite type of porn?

Amateur!!


Why do Drell make good housekeepers?

Clean work!


Why do Geth prefer Macs to PCs?

Windows are structural weaknesses

[WaffleCrab]

from ME2, tupari vending machine - I used to know a guy who went on for 3 days without a tupari sports drink, he got hit by a shuttle-

[january42]

A Turian was weighing soldiers in as they were getting on  starship for a tour.
One guy comes up and he's got a little cage with a funny looking critter in it. 
Turian: "What the heck is that?"
Soldier: "A bug(well, spider) I got from earth. They make good pets, but don't let it sting you."
Turian: "Small pets are ok, but your a bit over.  I think your gonna have to leave it behind. "
Soldier looks sad for a moment, then he gets an idea.  He takes the giant barrel off his gun, sticks it on top of the bug in the cage(which grabs on with it's tail) and winks. ("I trained him to hold stuff")   

Soldier gets back on the scale....and is he's just within the weight limit.
Turian: "How the heck did you do that?"
Soldier:" Scorpion weighs the same no matter what mods you put on it. "

[silentphil31]

Why do Vanguards pay extra at the restaurant?

- The Biotic Charge

[stysiaq]

january42 wrote...

A Turian was weighing soldiers in as they were getting on  starship for a tour.
One guy comes up and he's got a little cage with a funny looking critter in it. 
Turian: "What the heck is that?"
Soldier: "A bug(well, spider) I got from earth. They make good pets, but don't let it sting you."
Turian: "Small pets are ok, but your a bit over.  I think your gonna have to leave it behind. "
Soldier looks sad for a moment, then he gets an idea.  He takes the giant barrel off his gun, sticks it on top of the bug in the cage(which grabs on with it's tail) and winks. ("I trained him to hold stuff")   

Soldier gets back on the scale....and is he's just within the weight limit.
Turian: "How the heck did you do that?"
Soldier:" Scorpion weighs the same no matter what mods you put on it. "

:O:O

a perfect terrible ME3 joke! Now, let me think of one...

[WaffleCrab]

Why do infiltrators allways get laughed out of a bar?

The dress code is suit and tie, not suit and cloak.

[PsychoticBiotic]

stysiaq wrote...

Is the ME3 MP on the WiiU broken?

No, it's working as Nintendo.

lol

[stysiaq]

WaffleCrab wrote...

Why do infiltrators allways get laughed out of a bar?

The dress code is suit and tie, not suit and cloak.

Genius!! :D:D

Now, here's one I made up right now.

***

A Volus Engineer is talking to his shrink.

"I don't know *kssssk* Med-Clan. Everything seems so futile. Sometimes even I can't stand my proximity."

"It can't be all that bad. I heard you are quite successful at your job.", the shrink says.

"It may seem like it", the Volus' voice breaks "But it gives me no joy. *ksssk* Every time I get promoted, I feel like I need to learn everything from scratch".

[WaffleCrab]

Why was the volus forbidden from using the escalator

-No rollers allowed.

[Ultimate Pheer]

Balance. That's the joke.

[stysiaq]

Why a group of Engineers found it hard to dodge when they were close to each other?

Crowd control.

*escapes*

[WaffleCrab]

Why was the drell adept banned from the brothel.

Because when they went down, he refused to use gell

[Shamurai One]

WaffleCrab wrote...

Why was the drell adept banned from the brothel.

Because when they went down, he refused to use gell

Ewwww

Why was the N7 Devastator never lucky with Love..

-because his little missile always shot off without his ability to control it...

[follis2]

Why did the krogan try to solo the mission without any help from a squad? Because he thought Hackett said: "You need a quad."

[Scottywest]

An Asari, a Turian and a Salarian all walk into a bar.

Elcor bartender says "Observation: Something funny is about to happen."

[WaffleCrab]

A turian, A salarian, An elcor, A vorcha and a person responsible for ME3 quality assurance step into a bar.

-The quality assurance guy says; We are ready to launch mass effect 3.

-The bar bursts into laughter.

[Lokiwithrope]

Terrible joke? Alright then. Let's dance.

There's a reason the Heavy Units take so long to fight you on Firebase Goddess. They're using the elevators.