*Silly lounge music plays in background as camera pans around stage to Amethyst*
Amethyst: Welcome to today's episode of The Amethyst Show.
I am your host, of course *giggles* and this is my sidekick, Alistair.
*points to Alistair sitting in a chair next to her*
Alistair: *sighs and rolls eyes* Future Fereldon kings are not sidekicks!
I .......was merely bored and ....umm....didn't have anything else to do.
That's all. *makes adorable pouty face and sulks*
Amethyst: Riggghhhht! Okay, on today's show we have the sexiest bann in all of Fereldon. The king of studliness himself.....
Alistair: Hey!!! I'm the only king here!
Cailan: *sitting in audience* *rolls eyes and glares annoyingly at Alistair* You ain't king yet, little brother!
Amethyst: Ahh, isn't that cute.....royal sibling rivalry. *stares dreamily at pouty royal brothers*
Alistair: Amethyst, you're doing it again......
Amethyst: Oh, right, sorry. *blushes* Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, here is Teagan!!!!!!
*The band starts playing a sexy, jazzy tune as Teagan comes from behind the curtain*
*The ladies (and even some men) in the audience start screaming with delight*
Amethyst: Welcome to our show Bann Teagan. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to be here with us.
Teagan: Oh, the pleasure is all mine.
*flashes flirty smile at audience* *his teeth sparkle under the bright stage lights as girls swoon in audience*
Amethyst: So Teagan, we understand that you .....um....kept your sister-in-law company while your brother Arl Eamon was ill.
Teagan: That's what I do, my dear lovely host. *flashes flirty smile at Amethyst* Whenever a beautiful lady is in....need....I humbly come to her rescue. Isolde was lonely in that cold, stone castle of hers and I merely......gave her a warm, seductive shoulder to .....cry on.
Amethyst: Hmmm, yeah right, crying. *rolls eyes in disbelief*
Teagan: Oh, and there was much crying indeed. At all hours of the night.
In the guest chambers, the main hall, the dungeon. Oooh, the dungeon was so much fun with Isolde playing the sexy prisoner and I her strong and virile guard. *smiles slyly*
Amethyst: *blushing* Oh my, that was a lot of......crying....indeed.
Zevran: *sitting in audience* Ooooh, I'm starting to feel a bit tearful myself. Can I borrow your shoulder after the show Teagan? *smiles slyly at Teagan*
Amethyst: Ahem, um Teagan, I've heard you have a lounge act these days in Denerim. Tell the audience about that.
Teagan: Oh yes, I perform three nights a week at the Denerim Lounge conveniently located next to The Pearl.
Amethyst: I wasn't aware you could sing, Teagan.
Teagan: It's true. I've kept it secret most of my life, just singing in the shower and seranading my many lovers.
*Audience swoons dreamily*
Teagan: And with your permission, I would like to sing one of the songs from my lounge act.
Amethyst: *holds up her hands and gestures toward the band area* By all means Teagan.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let's have a round of applause for our musical guest.....Teagan!!!!
*The audience screams with excitement*
*Teagan struts up to the microphone as the band starts playing*
Teagan: *singing*
You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on
*The audience swoons as Teagan starts dancing seductively and unbuttons his shirt showing his very hairy chest, red swirls meandering down to below the button on his pants*
Teagan: *singing*
I just want your body baby from dusk till dawn*Teagan starts unbuttoning his pants and the audience roars with excitement*
Amethyst: *blushes as Teagan throws his pants into the audience* Ummmm.......Teagan......Oh my, you really shouldn't be..........
Alistair: *lifts his eyebrow and stares in disbelief*
Amethyst: Well, at least he kept on his small clothes.......*blushes with embarassment as Teagan continues to prance across the stage*
Alistair: Or......not!!!! *Alistair watches in horror as Teagan rips off his small clothes and tosses them into the audience*
*shrill screams fill the audience*
Alistair: Dear Maker! *Alistair stares in disbelief at their naked singing guest tilting his head curiously* How is that even possible?
Teagan: I'm Teagan, Baby. I'm more man than you can ever dream of!!!
Amethyst: *stares wide-eyed at all of Teagan's manliness* Omg!!!! They're going to cancel my show, I just know it.....
Alistair: Actually *stares at Teagan again in disbelief as the audience goes wild* this could boost your ratings.
Amethyst: *Faints behind her desk as Sten, the bodyguard, comes out from behind the curtain dragging the naked Teagan screaming backstage*
Sten: *snorts in disgust* You call
that big? Obviously you've never seen a naked Qunari.
Alistair: *stares in horror and looks down at the unconscious Amethyst* Told you it should have been my show. *makes adorable pouty face as he slumps down in his chair*
Zevran: *sneaks backstage with rope in his hand smiling wickedly as producer yells to the cameras "Cut to commercials!"
Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 09 janvier 2010 - 09:16 .
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