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[amethyst_rose2009]

westiex9 wrote...

Can't wait to see more posts

We may not have quite as many as before due to the fact that the new thread isn't in the main forum, but I think it's getting off to a good start.  I'll probably do Connor tomorrow and someone else, not sure who yet.  Getting some good ideas right now though.  I loved yours with Branca and Dagna.  Your Fiona and Thorin crack me up every time.

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 10 janvier 2010 - 09:42 .

[westiex9]

While the writing team at late nights with west are one of the most skilled in orzammar(or at least the best we could find at short notice) they still need time to bribe/Threaten/seduce our guests into making appearances on the show. In the time between shows the Considerate people at Orzammar Broadcasting incorporated(OBI) figured it would help keep our viewers interested(and boost our ratings) by providing our fans with some info/warnings about my beloved co-hosts Thorin and Fiona.
 
Thorin Aeducan
Title: Prince of Orzammar and Heir to the Throne
Age: 30
Hometown: Orzammar
Race: Dwarf
parents: Endrin-deceased and vima Aeducan-deceased
Siblings: Trian-deceased and Bhelen-deceased(is anyone in this guys family alive!)
Children: Gorim Aeducan
Spouse: Leliana
Alternate Thedas Dimension-Thorinverse
Bio-

Born into the royal house of aeducan thorin had it all, wealth,power and respect until one day he was framed by  his brother for the murder of his eldest sibling. Recruited by Duncan into the grey wardens Thorin Set out to get revenge and save Ferelden, and the rest is history. Five years after the fifth blight Thorin is Orzammars paragon and King Harrowmonts Heir. He spends most of his time working in television and radio while waiting to succeed to the throne. Thorin was first introduced to the folk of Thedas during his infamous VHS Arch-Demon Interview which went on to win a nomination at the screen guild awards(no award was given however as the Arch-demon was also present and ate the majority of the judging panel)

Hobbies: 
Not getting killed or exiled!
Orlesian cooking
Nug Hunting
Killing darkspawn 

Duties on the show:
Keeping Fiona from killing more guests
Maintaining general order on the show
Cutting the show to commercials when he fails in the first Duties
Interviewing guests

Favourite Food:
Nug custard


Fiona Cousland

Title: Queen of Ferelden(recently changed from princess consort after Queen anora was savagely killed in the Mister ferelden 2009 talent show)
Nicknames: Lady Kickboot Mcdeath, The Anora killer (Thorin Edit: your trying to sabotage this thread on purpose arnt you!)   (Fiona Edit: Me? of course not  but our fans want the truth)
Age: 28
Hometown: Highever
Race: Human
Parents: Bryce and Eleanor Cousland-Deceased
Siblings:Fergus Cousland
Children: none(Fiona edit: YET!!) (Thorin Edit: your not supposed to edit your own entry!!!!)
Spouse: Alistair
Alternate Thedas Dimension: FionaVerse( Fiona edit: the enlarged V makes mine the coolest!) (Thorin Edit: NO its doesnt!)

Bio-

The Fiery daughter of Teryn cousland Fiona Was enducted into the wardens after a vicious Attack on her home by Tim Curry(west Edit to writers: ARL HOWE YOU MORONS ARL HOWE!!) she proceeded to take revenge on her families Killer and Destroy the fifth blight. Today she is the warrior queen of Ferelden and Rules alongside her husband King Alistair helping to keep the land safe from invasion( No one is suicidal enough to attack while shes around). With the realm secure she contents herself with dividing her time between ruling the land and hosting this show alongside Thorin. she made her first appearance on national television when she helped out at the talent show(no one has seen the guests she interviewed including queen anora since).

Show Duties:
Interviewing guests
Not Killing said guests!
Behaving nicely

Hobbies
Flouting all of the above show rules 
Rock concerts
Watching Buffy the vampire slayer 
Blight Quelling
knitting( chainmail)

Favourite food:
Chilli

Favourite Film:

Kill bill(Fiona Edit: why do blondes get all the fun!) (Thorin Edit: i doubt they would appreciate your idea of "FUN")

[mrofni]

It's Weather Time! With Noit A Mrofni.



I hope you got the memo to bring your boots, cause predicting weather in Ferelden is a dirty business. And you never know when there is gonna be blood on the floor either. I need info from swamps of Korcari Wilds to the Hafter river in The Banorn. From the peaks in Frostback Mountains to the Brecilian Forest. From Lake Calenhad to The Pearl in Denerim! Seriously, sailors have tons of useful information on the weather. A little R&R wouldn't hurt me either, if you know what I'm saying.



In fact, I'm already here at the Pearl! And here is Isabela with me to help out. Can you help a poor chump like me with the weather conditions out at sea?



Isabela: And why should I help you? You couldn't beat me in a single card game!



Noit A Mrofni: If you really don't want to tell me, then you don't have to. I'll just have to tell the people that I don't know the weather this time around. Then when something happens, they'll lose their crops. You know what comes from crops? Booze. No crops, no booze. How long do you think you're going to last with your crew without booze?



Isabela: ... Bastard. Its storm season. This time around it is a lot more violent though. Bigger, Longer, Louder. Which reminds me. You're smarter then I thought you were. Perhaps you are better then I thought at other things as well.



Noit A Mrofni: There you have it folks! Its gonna be umm, long, umm, loud, umm, and very wet.... Bye.



*Noit A Mrofni dashes after Isabela into the next room.*

[Tirigon]

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I´m sort of loosing the track of it all, so I decided to do something in my short freetime now. You know, the few minutes between .... private time ... with my beloved Shianni and getting stoned, drunk and whatever you call it if you take other drugs completely legal pharmaceutical means of having fun.

Today, I am talking with Queen Anora of Ferelden. Well, maybe she is not Queen anymore, some say Alistair was Queen - King, I mean - , the Equal Heights Movement wants a dwarf to be king and I am told I married Alistair some time ago (though I can´t remember anymore ) so maybe I´m king. As said, I am not up to date atm.
Anyways, as I´m now working on the TV I think we should try to have a good relationship with Ferelden´s Might-Be-Queen.

So here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is QUEEN ANORA!!!!!

*Anora walks in*

Tirigon: Hello Anora. Or should I say your majesty? I´m not sure, could you explain?

Anora: Admittedly, I´m not sure either. But I am the only rightful Ruler of Ferelden, Alistair is a bastard. He even admits it. So yes, go for "your majesty".

Tirigon: Thank you, your majesty. I think we should talk about our past. As you know I always wanted to kill you - mind you, I still dream of doing so at night.

Anora: Yes, I know. I don´t mind, however. If Ferelden had not needed you to slay that Archdemon I would have had you executed, so what? It´s the past. Well, I hoped you would die killing this dragon, but.... Well, some hopes are just in vain, aren´t they?

Tirigon (smiling faintly): Why, yes, so one hears. I myself thought I would die, but well.... Apparently I´m such a devilish boy I can live without a soul. Probably I survived because I sold my soul to Shianni. Even the Archdemon wouldn´t dare stealing from her, haha. Oh, your majesty, I mean.

Anora: Good job. So may I announce that Tirigon supports my claim as the only rightful Queen of Ferelden? That would help much, you know? Many people listen to what you say.

Tirigon: Many more, however, would hate you just because of my support, your Majesty. So I wouldn´t advice you to announce that. Or come to think of it, you really should say so. It would make sure Ferelden is not ruined by your incompetence.

Anora: You are a ******. And I really mean it.

Tirigon:  So I hear, your Majesty. Quite often, actually, hehe. But I don´t really care, you know. I mean, I got Shianni, a well-paid job and the honorous past of ending a Blight. You, on the other hand, got to rule a state in which noone wants you to rule, the people are rioting, the dwarfs demand beardocracy and Alistair is planning to make Amethyst_rose his Queen, so you´ll have to go back to your tower. I´d say, OWNED. I ´m definitely off better.

Anora: I hate you so much.

Tirigon: Thank you, right back at your majesty.
Well, noone shall say I´m not nice to my guests, though. I have invited your father, Loghain.

*Loghain comes in*

Tirigon: Hello, Loghain! Nice to see you here! I just wonder... how did you get your head back? I mean, I cut it off at the landsmeet, right? Hahahaha

Loghain (ignoring this): You know, it took my five hours to come here. A few more for the make-up, hiding the stitches around my neck and all. I could have used this time for a battle against Orlaisians. You saved them their lifes. I should accuse you of treachery for that.

Anora: I´d support this.

Tirigon: Free to do so. Just give me time to call my lawyers. I´m rich and famous, I can afford better ones than you, hehehe.

Loghain: All right, let´s change topic. Why am I here?

Tirigon: Oh, I don´t know. I thought Anora might like it. It´s a gesture of Friendship, sort of. Or at least of less hate than before....

Anora, Loghain (together): We enjoy, thank you SOOOOO much, ******.

*Tirigon smiles; then he calls for a drink*

Loghain: Alcohol is a sin. It weakens the Fereldan ability to shoot Orlaisians. It should be forbidden.

Tirigon (drinking): Why, sure, sure. But I hear I´m a traitor anyways, so....
Besides, this is Orlaisian whine. Usually it weakens the Orlaisian ability to shoot Fereldans. You should like that.

Loghain: You trade with Orlaisians? You really ARE a traitor, lol.....

Tirigon: No, I don´t. I stole it from them. I´m rich - do you think I accomplished that by BUYING stuff? And I thought you were a great politician.....

Loghain: So you are promoting thievery?

Tirigon: Of course not. It will  earn you a trial and prison or execution. Not worth it. I only promote thievery if you can afford my lawyers, hehe.

Anora: Well, maybe he´s not that dumb, after all... That´s my policy, too....

Tirigon: Thank you so much, your majesty. So, what about a kiss, now that we´re friends?

Anora (appalled): Oh Maker, you´re a pig!

Tirigon: Free to leave, my dear. I want to drink more whine now, anyways. And Shianni should by now have finished her make-up, so there´s much I have to do.
Come to think of it, one last thing: Wade wants me to announce that he has created a new collection of metal lingerie for MEN! It´s really good, I wear it myself. Fits for all sizes, even my XXXXL ..... hammer... and it really feels good to wear. According to Shianni it looks great, too. So, Ladies, if you need a present for your husband, girlfriend, postman or whoever makes you happy in lonesome nights, be sure to visit Wade in his shop in Denerim!
And now, cut to commercials!

*The curtains fall*

Modifié par Tirigon, 10 janvier 2010 - 02:33 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Announcer: And now it's time once again for The Amethyst Show.........

*Silly lounge music plays as the camera pans around the stage from the band to Amethyst and her co-host Alistair*

Amethyst: *slight scratches appear on her face underneath heavy makeup* Welcome to The Amethyst Show! I'm your.....

Producer: Before we get started, wasn't there something you had to say to our last guest? *glares threateningly at Amethyst* You better or they're going to pull the plug on our show!

Amethyst: *rolls eyes and sighs heavily* *mumbles something under her breath*

Alistair: Sorry, Love.  Did you say something?

Amethyst: I said.......arrrghhh.........I'm so.........uggggh........*speaks through clinched teeth* ..........I'm s......sorry that I got into a brawl on live tv and .......and kicked Anora's royal a**!!!!! *flashes big proud smile as audience roars*

Producer: You call that an apology?

Amethyst: That's as good as you're going to get, so you better take it! *glares angrily at producer and folds arms*

Producer: Okaaayyyy......Is she always this difficult?

Alistair: *rolls eyes* You don't know the half of it!  *big sly smile appears* But she's a real fireball in bed! *winks at producer*

Amethyst: Alistair!!!!!

Alistair: Wha?

Amethyst: Nevermind.....*taps fingernails on desk in annoyance*  Welcome to the Amethyst Show.  I'm your host and this is my co-host Alistair...*glares at Alistair*

Alistair: *looks somewhat frightened* You're going to hurt me now, aren't you?

Amethyst: *sighs* Today's guest hails from Redcliffe, but not just from some dingy little slum by the lake.  This kid was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and other than the occasional demon or two to mess things up a little, he's had a charmed life with his parents, the Arl and Arletta of Redcliffe.  From the beautiful and heavily-fortified Castle Redcliffe, here's Connor!!!!

Alistair: What? We're inviting children on the show now?  No one else wanted to come on our show after you attacked the queen, did they?

Amethyst: *wide-eyed innocence* Attacked?  That's such a harsh word.  I was just.......showing her an elven perspective on conditions in her kingdom so that maybe the *mumbles under her breath* bigoted b**ch would truly understand the plight of my people. Arrgggh, stupid elf-hating b**ch queen! *crosses arms and frowns*

*band quickly starts playing music before the producer can intervene and out walks a young boy from behind the curtain looking nervous and unsure*

Amethyst: *warm motherly smile* Hello there Connor.  It's so nice you found time out of playing with your toys and action figures to be here with us today.

Alistair: *ignores Amethyst and Connor and plays with his collection of awesome action figures including super cool Duncan action figure with retractable beard* Super-Duncan to the rescue!  Watch how he slices through darkspawn with only his awesome manly beard!

Amethyst:   Okaaayyy.........

Connor: *nervously peers out into audience searching for someone*

Isolde: *waves excitedly to Connor* I'm here Connor.  Don't worry my darling, mummy's here!

Teagan: *slides his tongue down Isolde's neck*

Isolde: Umm, you'll be fine darling.  Your uncle and I will be .......backstage if you need me. *Isolde and Teagan quickly run backstage*

Amethyst:  *looks nervously toward the backstage area* Umm...use Alistair's dressing room please, not mine!

Alistair: *looks up momentarily from his action figures* What? Did I miss something?

Connor: My mother and uncle disappeared to your dressing room, I think.  He said something about lending her a shoulder to cry on or something.  I think my mum must be very sad because they seem to go off alone together a lot. *confused look*

Amethyst and Alistair: Oh, right, crying, yeah that's it.

Amethyst: So Connor, tell me about your life at Castle Redcliffe.  Do you have any little friends in the village to play with?

Connor: *increasingly nervous look appears across his face* I........um........don't really have any........real friends.

Amethyst: Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart. *shows motherly concern*  It must be very lonely in that big castle for such a little boy.

Alistair: *looking up from his action figures* You seem to have a way with children, Amethyst.

Amethyst: That's because I have plenty of experience around you.  *glares at the action figures he's playing with*

Alistair: Hey!!! *makes adorable pouty face*

Amethyst: Besides *sly smile across her face* it will help me with our little one. *winks at Alistair*

Alistair: *turns white as a sheet* Our.......our.........Oh Maker!!!!! *faints into the floor*

Amethyst: *giggles* Oh, how I love to tease him like that!  Sten, we need your assistance.

*Sten comes out from behind the curtain with a bucket of cold water and quickly pours it on Alistair's face*

Alistair: *coughs and looks around in confusion* Wha? Oh Maker, please don't tell me I fainted again. *blushes in embarassment and retakes his seat* *looks at Amethyst* You enjoy doing that to me, don't you?

Amethyst:  Who me? *looks back toward Connor* I'm so sorry sweetheart, where were we?  You were saying how terribly lonely it was at that big drafty castle without any friends to play with.

Connor: *nervous*  Y....yes, well I do have one ........friend.  She helps me out a lot.  When father was sick, she helped when no-one else could.

Amethyst: *blushes* Oh, Connor, I didn't know you felt that way.  *giggle* Well, I'm honored to be considered your friend.
*Amethyst places her hand gently on Conner's shoulder*

Connor: Get away from me fool woman!!!! *his eyes flash eerily white as his voice takes on a demonic tone*

Amethyst:  Ummm..........Connor?

Connor: To think you were so foolish to think I was referring to you!  An elf!  Do you know what I did to the last elf I saw? Do you? I fed his long pointy knife-ears to the hounds, that's what! *lets out loud maniacal laugh*  And I shall let my dear friend feast on yours!!!!

Amethyst: Ummm..........where is Isolde? Someone find Isolde!!!!!

Connor: *eyes glowing eerily white* She was always my only friend.  She who is the demon goddess of all that is good and just. She came to me when she knew of that fool mage's betrayal and helped father.  Only she could because she is the only goodness in a world full of so much treachery!!!

Amethyst: *cautiously backing away from Connor* Umm, Ali, didn't we take care of the demon bi*ch already?

Alistair: *joining Amethyst in retreating to the other side of the stage* How should I know? You sent your friend into the Fade.  I told you not to trust a bloodmage, but do you ever listen to me?

Amethyst: But......but he said he defeated the demon. He said he wanted to help!!!

Alistair: And how many times did he lie to you before and yet you still believe him?

Amethyst: That lying bastard!!! Just wait til I see him again.

Connor: *laughs sadistically while staring at the audience* You all will be my puppets!! Oh how I will make you dance!!!

*audience runs screaming toward the doors*

*Amethyst and Alistair run for the exit*

Amethyst: *flees for her life* Jowan I'll kill you for this, you son of a tied-down wh.........Ahhhhhh!

Isolde: *runs out from behind the curtain and watches in horror at the chaos and confusion* Connor, my baby! Teagannnnnnn!!!!!

Producer: *flees toward the door with the camera crew behind him* Cut.......to.......Ahhhh!









*Blue screen appears*

Announcer: Fereldon TV is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.......

*Soft elevator music plays*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 10 janvier 2010 - 09:49 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Announcer: And now it's time for the Fereldon Sports Update.......

*loud energetic techno music starts playing in background as the camera pans to the new sports reporter on the sidelines of the new Denerim Dragon Chase Arena*

Sports Reporter: *nervous and freezing cold*  H.....hello sports fans *chatters teeth*.  It's sunny, but cold as a chantry priestess' bed in Denerim today for the Dragon Chase Championship games. This is the first out of three championship games to be held. The remaining two championship games are to be held in Orlais and Antiva.   For newcomers to the sport, I will briefly explain the rules of the game: There are three teams competing against each other.  The object of the game is to kick the large ball with one smooth side and one spikey side into your team's goalpost, while at the same time fleeing from the very large and terrifying dragon who's trying to stomp you to death keeping you from reaching your goal.  At the same time other teams may try to kill the one who has the ball by resorting to such stealthy back-handed methods (ahem, Antiva) or more deceptive bard-like methods (Orlais).  So now that the rules of the game are out of the way let's join today's game.  Today's match has the reigning Dragon Chase champions, Fereldon, attempting to defend their title against the treacherous Orlesians and the stealthy Antivans.....

Sports Reporter: Orlais has the ball and is quickly running to the other end of the field toward their goalpost, pink and golden ribbons waving proudly in the cold winter breeze.  The all-woman-team wearing fashionable hot-pink uniforms rallies around their teammate keeping the dragon at bay with their enchanting bardic melodies.

Loghain: Filthy Orlesians!!!!

Sports Reporter: The captain of the Fereldon team, Teryn Loghain, races past the dragon, barely missing it's scorching fire-breath as he lunges toward the Orlesian player who currently has the ball....

Loghain: Die, damn Orlesian!!!!

Sports Reporter: Ewwww. Loghain slices through the Orlesian player leaving a bloody mess on the field as he takes control of the ball. 

Leliana: *The Orlesian team captain is furious at Loghain's actions*  Blood and Damnation!!!!

Sports Announcer:  As Leliana storms across the field, the dragon now notices Loghain and is pounding down the field towards the Fereldon team captain leaving a loud tremor in its wake.

Ser Cauthrien: To me, Loghain..

Sports Reporter: Logain kicks the ball to his teammate Cauthrien as the stealthy Antivans race toward her agilely dodging the dragon's powerful tail. The dragon roars with frustration as the audience screams in excitement.

Zevran: *in stealth mode quickly takes the ball from Cauthrien* Thank you dear lady.  Maybe we can see each other after the game, hmm?

Cauthrien: Not if my very life depending on it, rogue!

Sports Reporter: Cauthrien storms toward Zevran with sword in hand lashing out at the stealthy rogue.  Loghain joins in the chase frantically with the dragon on his heels.  Ooooh, can't you just feel the excitement folks.  Let me just get in closer to the field for a better look.......

*sports reporter walks onto field as the dragon thunders past him scorching everything in his path*

*camera closes in on the spot where the sports reporter was standing but now only ashes remain in his place *



*Blue screen appears*

Announcer: Fereldon TV is now hiring a Sports Reporter.  Inquire at Fereldon TV studios in Denerim.

*Elevator music plays*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 11 janvier 2010 - 03:45 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

To the people all over Ferelden and all over Thedas, this is the Phoenix Report!
You may know me, KnightofPhoenix, from blockbuster movies such Today we kill and Tomorrow we die, and from award winning show Miss Ferelden 2009.
The report will be dealing with local and regional news in both political and economic affairs.

First stop, in the regional news:
1- Orlais's cathedral declared that the Tevinter patriarch is gay. The Imperial Church retorted by saying that the revered mothers and the Orlesian Impress were lesbians. The statistics show that the turn out rate in Chantries, whether Orlais or Tevinter, has increased dramatically after such statements. Something must have caught their interest.

2- Qunari threat. The Qunari still linger in the East and their ships keep wrecking everything. Nations of Thedas believe that a Qunari invasion is imminent. A Qunari commander was interviewed and he had this to say:
Reporter: "Commander, would you please tell us what's going on and why are you mobalising your fleets?"
Qunari: "No." *3 Qunaris come in and destroy the camera*.
Hmmmm I think that rules out attempts at negotiations.

3- Orlesian troops march on Ferelden! Apparently King Cailan requested Orlesian reinforcements to combat the so called blight encroaching on us. This move has enraged many of the nobility, in particular Teyrn Loghain, the hero who freed Ferelden from their clutches. Peasants demonstrate, shouting slogans such as "Maric has no son!" and "Anora is king". King Cailan had this to say:
Cailan: "Aah, it warms the heart to see the people expressing their love for their glorious king."

In the local news:
1- The darkspawn horde keeps advancing, despite its 3 defeats. Analysts have been debating on whether this is a true blight or simply a raid. Duncan of the Grey Wardens insists it's a blight. His only proof is his "feelings". Cailan insits it's a blight because he demands it to be. "There is no glory is killing a darkspawn raid!" the king expressed. Our military analyst, Sergeant Macho is here with us and he will be offering his commentary.
So what can you tell us Sarge?
Macho: "Well Knight, I think the best way to defeat those vermins is to stick to a defensive position. Ostagar provides this defensive position. Turtling has always been a winning strategy Knight. Like the French in WW2.....wait."
Thank you Seargent Macho.
 
2- The arl of Redcliff, Eammon is sick. Perfect timing you might say, as the darkspawn are invading us from the south. Of course, if the Arl is sick, then his army cannot join the King's forces at Ostagar, for no reason whatsoever. King Cailan said he doesn't care and that he could defeat the blight with just a stick. Teyrn Loghain's only comment was a facepalm. Most analysts say that Eammon's sick condition is mostly due to his wife, Isolde, an Orlesian, in one way or the other.

3- King Endrin of the Dwarves is dead. The Dwarves face problems of succession, between two as of yet unknown canditates. It took us alot of effort to buy this information. Our analysts predict that Endrin's son Bhelen and Endrin's advisor Harrowmont are the likely canditates. Coming in uninvited, King cailan has this to say:
Cailan: "Well it's Endrin's fault that he is not immortal. I assure you that a civil war will not happen in Ferelden, for I will live for a very very long time".
This contradicts scientific research that indicates the life expectancy of the King to be measured in a few years, or even a few days as some of the researchers point out. 

And now we are done with the local news and it's time for the threat down!
In this last segment of the show, I will be presenting the top 5 threats to Ferelden and to all of Thedas.
So let's start!

At number 5 are: The darkspawn. Sure, they have been defeated 3 times already and most believe this not to be a blight. But still, as Grey Wardens say "I have a bad feeling about this". 

Number 4: The non-sexualisation of the Chantry. Reports indicate that the people's piety increased with the mention of girl on girl action. If the chantry wishes more adherents, it should be alot more sexualised. Andraste would have wanted this. This will help counter the rumors of how dangerously satisfying Qunari sex is.

Number 3:  Orlesians. Blight or no blight, these people are dangerous. Should they invade Ferelden, they would plague us with their sophistication, their fashion sense, their weak pretty dogs and their atrocious accent. Never again!

At number 2: King Cailan. His hallow bravado, his glory mongering and his pretensions to immortality has made Ferelden the laughing stock of Thedas. In addition, witnesses testify seeing the darkspawn laughing all the way as they march against Ferelden. 
 
And finally, the number 1 threat to Ferelden and to Thedas as a whole: Cammen. The ugliest, weakest elf ever seen was sighted a few days ago near the Brecilian forest. To impress us, he fired an arrow, claiming it would reach Tevinter. Instead it killed the revered mother in a nearby village. Exalted March! Exalted March!

That ladies and gentlemen, concludes the Phoenix Report for tonight. But stay tuned, Ferelden TV will be having more interesting shows coming up, after the break.  

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 10 janvier 2010 - 05:22 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

That was hilarious Knight.  Poor Cammen never gets a break.

Edit: Yours too, Tirigon.  It's just too much fun to diss Anora.

Funny weather report, Mrofni!  And here I was thinking weather was boring.  Not with Isabela apparantly.

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 10 janvier 2010 - 06:04 .

[Tirigon]

Oh amethyst_rose, you are writing too much.... I´m really lacking behind....



Need ... more... time... !!!!!!

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon wrote...

Oh amethyst_rose, you are writing too much.... I´m really lacking behind....

Need ... more... time... !!!!!!

Just trying to get some writing in for the weekend because when school starts back tomorrow I probably won't be able to write as much.  Anyway I'll probably do one more, an interview with Sandal (as silly as that sounds) later today and that will probably be it for me for today.

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Just trying to get some writing in for the weekend because when school starts back tomorrow I probably won't be able to write as much.  Anyway I'll probably do one more, an interview with Sandal (as silly as that sounds) later today and that will probably be it for me for today.

Will that not be rather short? Like:

A: *question*

Sandal: Enchantment!

A: *question*

Sandal: Enchantment!

.....


And so forth?

[amethyst_rose2009]

@ Tirigon:
LOL. Sort of but I'm thinking of something a little different than that. tee-hee. Like Samurai Sandal or something.

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 10 janvier 2010 - 08:11 .

[mrofni]

I liked yours with Connor. Exactly what could have happened with Jowan that nobody thinks about.

[amethyst_rose2009]

Announcer: And now it's time once again for The Amethyst Show!

*Silly lounge music begins to play as the camera pans around the stage from the band to Amethyst*

Amethyst: Welcome to the Amethyst Show! I'm your.......

*Templars swarm area searching for demons and bloodmages*

Cullen: Alright it's clear out here.  Let's check backstage for the little brat!

Amethyst: Umm, okay.  As I was saying, I'm your host and this is my co-host Alistair.  What are you doing?

Alistair: *deep in prayer and mumbles to himself* Please don't let anything strange happen, please don't let anything strange happen.

Amethyst: *loud sigh* Nothing is going to happen this time.  Sure we had a bit of a problem with a demon-possessed child last time, but you know all shows go through little bumps like that I guess. Besides our next guest is none other than the adorable master enchanter himself, Sandal.  What could possibly happen?

Alistair: Well, alright.......I see your point.  What could happen with Sandal here? *breathes sigh of relief*

Amethyst: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the cutest little dwarf around........Sandal!!!!!

*Band starts playing as the adorable and harmless dwarf enters the stage and takes a seat beside Amethyst and Alistair looking like a small child in comparison*

Amethyst: *smiles* Ah, isn't he just too cute?  I just want to pinch his chubby cheeks.

Sandal: Enchantment?
*in Sandal's mind - Oooh I like her.  Reminds me of pretty princess fairy with her pointy ears.  She smells like cinnamon.  I like cinnamon!*

Amethyst: *giggles* Well, he's not much of a talker, but he sure can make a bi*chin' sword, let me tell you. *audience applauds in awe looking at Amethyst's rune-covered longsword* So Sandal, I understand that your foster father found you wandering the Deep Roads.  How horrible that must have been!  Your parents were obviously dead and you were left all alone in that frightening place hiding from darkspawn until Bodahn miraculously found you there. You poor baby.

Sandal: Enchantment!
*in Sandal's mind - I think I might have sniffed a bit too much lyrium while in the deep roads.  Oooh, lyrium.  I like lyrium.*
 
Amethyst: And now the two of you wander around Fereldon and um.....loot..... the villages and farmsteads that have been deserted due to the darkspawn threat....

Sandal: Enchantment?
*in Sandal's mind - And he gives me pretty shiny runes.  Oooh runes.  I like runes.*
 

Alistair: *sighs* Enchantment this and enchantment that.  Honestly, Amethyst, if he's not going to say anything else we should just move on to the next guest. *yawns in utter boredom*

Sandal: Enchantment?
*in Sandal's mind- He smells like stinky dog!*

Amethyst: Ahhh, Alistair, be nice.  Isn't he just too cute? Even if he does only say one word....

Sandal: Enchantment!!!
*in Sandal's mind - Ooooh pretty lady........Maybe she will invite me to her tent.   Ooooh warm tent. Stinky prince ain't gettin' any tonight!*

Amethyst: I know you won't be able to answer this but I am just so curious how you were able to survive surrounded by all those darkspawn at Fort Drakon. Oh well I guess we'll never know.

*Suddenly the exit door whips open and darkspawn storm the stage*

*Sandal gets up from his seat and calmy walks toward the evil darkspawn*

Amethyst: Um, Sandal, sweetheart, where are you going? Why don't you let the big boys handle that, alright?

Alistair: *takes out his shiny sword and starts to walk toward the invading darkspawn*

Sandal: *jumps high in the air and spins delivering a hard samurai kick to the darkspawn knocking them to the floor*

*The band starts playing "Kung Fu Fighting" as Sandal kicks darkspawn a** sending them flying across the stage*

Alistair: *stands beside Amethyst* On second thought, I think the little guy can handle it.....

*The audience screams and flees toward the exit doors*

*Suddenly the darkspawn surround Sandal in a full circle as Sandal jumps into the air and kicks a large  Hurlock into a dozen others, the Hurlock's teeth flying out of his mouth and onto the stage*

Sandal: *Finally in one quick reflex, Sandal raises his hands high in the air and smiles* Enchantment!!!!!

*With a loud boom a blinding blue light bursts from Sandal's hands, knocking Alistair and Amethyst to the floor.  When they awaken on the floor they look up and see Sandal covered in darkspawn blood and standing a few feet away*

Amethyst: Um.......*shakes head in confusion* What just happened? 

Alistair: *helps Amethyst to her feet and holds his head* I feel kind of funny.  Hey, what happened to all the darkspawn?

Amethyst:  I don't know.  There had to be hundreds of them. Sandal, what happened here?

Sandal: *smiles happily* Enchantment!

Amethyst and Alistair:


Alistair: Rigghhhht.  Creeeeepy.


Sandal: *in Sandal's mind - Oooh pretty sparkly blue light.  Did I see unicorns?  I wonder if fairies make lyrium candy.  Oooooh, lyrium candy..........*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 11 janvier 2010 - 01:31 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

@Mrofni:

Thanks. 
I love Jowan, but it's just so darn easy to make fun of him.

[Sialater]

Enchantment!

[amethyst_rose2009]

Announcer: And now we continue with the Fereldon Sports Update. Filling in while we wait for a new sports reporter, from the Amethyst Show, here are Amethyst and Alistair......

*Loud energetic techno music plays as the camera pans around the field to the sidelines*


Amethyst: *teeth chattering and hands visibly shaking* W....we are here in l...lovely (and extremely cold) Denerim today for the second half of the first out of three Dragon Chase championship games in the brand new Denerim Dragon Chase Arena. *looks up at darkened sky* Is that snow?

Alistair: I can't believe the producer made us do this all because a few things went wrong during our show. *grumbles under his breath*  It's freezing out here, there's a freakin' dragon, and I hate sports!  In fact at the chantry whenever there was any kind of ball game the other guys would all deliberately knock me down on the ground and call me sissy boy! *makes adorable pouty face and shivers in his shiny Juggernaut armor*

Amethyst: *Uncontrollably laughs under her breath*

Alistair: You're laughing at me.  You're actually laughing at my tormented tales of my childhood.

Amethyst: *trying to hide uncontrollable laugh*

Alistair: *rolls eyes* Great! This is sooooo much fun.  I can barely control my enthusiasm.

Amethyst: Alright, it can't be that bad.  Besides if we do a good job maybe they will forgive us for all the fiascos back on our show.

Alistair: Maybe....*makes adorable pouty face again*

Amethyst: Anyway, we're on the sidelines watching the game and I have to admit this is my first Dragon Chase game.  I'm kind of excited to see what's going on. 

*camera pans around to the action on the field*

Amethyst: It looks like Zevran has the ball and is racing down the field toward the Anitvan goalpost.  Oooh, what cool uniforms the Anitvan team have - all black and crimson red.

Alistair: I think since it's Antivans you're talking about it should be blood red, not crimson.

Amethyst: *sighs and shivers* Anyway, so Zev's the captain for the Anitvan team, huh? Hmm, sports team captain.......kind of sexy......

Alistair: Hey!!! What about me?

Amethyst: *looking hopeful and excited* Do you think you can be the captain of the Fereldon team?

Alistair: What part of 'the other guys knocked me down and called me sissy boy' sounds like I could ever remotely be the captain of a sports team.  Besides, Teryn Loghain is the current captain........and he scares me.

*camera scans the field as the large dragon chases after Zevran*

Amethyst: Oh my, it looks like Zev is going to have to act quickly with the dragon, Cauthrien, and Loghain on his heels. Cauthrien just reached out with her sword taking a swipe at Zev but fell just as the dragon stormed past her.  Loghain's too slow to reach the stealthy rogue as Zev kicks the ball and scores 10 points for the Anitvan team. Yay, go Zev!

*The crowd boos with disappointment*

Alistair: I think we're supposed to be supporting the Fereldon team not the Antivan team, Amethyst. We do work for the Fereldon Television Network.  So it's just a hunch.

Amethyst: *rolls eyes and sighs* But he's our friend......a very sexy sports team captain friend.

Alistair: You know I could do everything Zev does. *makes pouty face* If I really wanted to play a stupid ball game, I could!

*camera pans to field as Orlais takes the ball*

Amethyst: The Orlesian team has taken the ball and is trying to dodge both Loghain and the dragon.  The dragon rears up its tail and takes down two of the Orlesian teammates in one blow as Loghain races after the team captain, Leliana.

Loghain: Filthy Orlesian bard.  I've seen your kind before.  The only thing worse would be a filthy elven Orlesian bard.

Amethyst: Loghain takes out his sword and takes a jab at Leliana.  Gasp!  But the bard is too fast for him. Her teammates break out in an enchanting melody and lull Loghain to sleep!

Loghain: N.....no, I.....will ......not ......fall to .....your......treacherous charms.......*falls to the ground asleep*

Amethyst: Ser Cauthrien, seeing that her fellow teammate has fallen, runs to his aide pulling him off the field and.......uh......giving him a sultry goodnight kiss on his mouth. 

Alistair:

Amethyst: Ewwww.

*camera pans around as Leliana nears the Orlesian goalpost*

Amethyst: Yay, the all-female Orlesian team clad in pretty pink uniforms scores 10 points.  Yay Leliana!

Alistair: Whose side are you on anyway?

*Suddenly the dragon grabs the ball with its teeth and tosses it across the field*

Alistair: You want to see a sexy sports player?  Watch this as I run and catch the ball in mid-air.  I'll show you.

Amethyst: *looking horrified* No! Alistair no!!!!!!

*Alistair jumps through the air and catches the ball with his bare hands looking very gallant and proud until he realizes there are sharp metal spikes on one side of the ball*

Alistair: *screams long line of obsenities as he lands to the ground with the sharp metal spikes impaling his hands*

Amethyst: Ahhhhh!!!!! *runs hurriedly to Alistair as all three teams and the dragon race toward them*

Amethyst: Don't worry, I'm a mage.  I can heal you.

Alistair: *through clenched teeth* How.....about....removing ......the ......ball......first!!!!!

Amethyst: Oh.......uh.......ewwww.  Wait here.   Sten!!!

*Sten runs out onto the field as the dragon and the three teams rush to the spot where Alistair lay screaming in pain*

*With a disgusting sound Sten plucks the spikey ball from Alistair's hands as Amethyst hurriedly casts a heal spell before being trampled by the oncoming dragon*

Amethyst: *grabs the bloodied ball* Ewwwww! *and throws it toward the Fereldon team, hitting a Fereldon player in the side of the head, metal spikes first.*

Amethyst:  Oh crap!  Um.....ooops.  Sorry.

Alistair: *still nursing his injured hands* Great!  You finally try to do something good for the Fereldon team and you end up killing one of the Fereldon players! 

*Amethyst grabs Alistair and they quickly flee the stadium as the Fereldon team and hundreds of fans storm after them with torches, pitchforks, and a really pissed-off dragon*





*Blue Screen*

Announcer: Fereldon TV is still hiring an experienced Sports Reporter.  Please inquire at the Fereldon TV studios in Denerim.  Watch out for the angry mob and crazed dragon.....

*Elevator music plays*

Modifié par amethyst_rose2009, 11 janvier 2010 - 03:48 .

[westiex9]

Coming to you direct from Orzammar's exclusive Diamond quarter studios its Late nights with West!
(theme music plays)

West: Welcome to tonights show folks, This evening we have a Brilliant line up of guests 

Thorin: Thats right west! Tonight we are honoured to announce that King Harrowmont himselft will be making an appearance on the show along with Shaper Gerteh who will be discussing his new book and Garin the Lyrium smith talks about his new Energy drink Lyri-Aid. 

Fiona: sounds great Thorin!  (whispering) but your only excited because Gerteh's new book is all about you

West: now lets press on! folks please give a round of applause to Garin

 (thunderous applause)

Garin: errr...hi g-g-great to be on the show....hey you didn't see my lunch anywhere did you lichen bread completly misplaced it....like the studio...who does these curtains...ooooohhhhh a lavafall view.....

West: ......Soooooo.....tell us about your lyrium drink

Garin: oh yes!....almost forgot.....lyrium drink.....Made it with lyrium dust....really good stuff....its blue....i don't really like blue...wish it could be green.....greens a nice colour.....

Fiona: wow he's like a Nug on lyrium dust....squeek....squeek!!!

Garin: not keen on nugs....taste off.....too noisy

West: errr i understand you brought a sample with you

Garin: yeah....Sample!!....not too much...in a nice bottle....not glass though that stuff breaks....

West: could we have a volunteer from the audience?

(an unlucky dwarf steps forward)

Dwarf: awww man do i have to?

West: Just drink the damn thing!

(Unlucky dwarf drinks)

Dwarf: wooooooaaaaahhhhhhh......i like this room....stone stone is nice.....not like wood...wood too soft....hey that woman has red hair!!! long not my thing......woooaaahhh i have a beard!

Fiona: Well this is just great Garin! you've created an Energy drink that causes enough lyrium poisoning to turn the most stoic dwarf into a drug addled maniac!

West: errrr...(nervous laughter) hehehe....well folks Lyri-aid is In stores across orzammar now get your's today! (to thorin) BURN ALL THE SAMPLES THIS (Expletive deleted) IS FRIGGIN POISON

Thorin: moving on its time for our next guest please welcome shaper Gerteh!

Fiona: is it just me or is Thorin's ego taking up all the space in the room

Thorin:(whispering to self) Venomous,red haired Harridan!!

Fiona: (whispering to Thorin) You really shouldn't talk about your wife that way, why leliana would be shocked

Thorin: I....HATE...YOU

Gerteh: Hail freinds! it is an honour to be on your show

West: hehe its a pleasure freind i understand you have a new Book out

Gerteh: yes its called "Wrongful conviction"

West: i understand it concerns a certain co-host of mine

Gerteh: Most definatley! Prince Thorin saved my life from Lord voldin and i made it my Quest to clear his name after Prince Bhelen's Betrayal Five years ago!

Fiona:  Funny i thought they exiled him for his aweful taste in clothing and Disgusting love of Orlesian cooking!

Thorin: (to fiona) you promised you'd be nice!

Fiona: But i am being nice! i havn't mentioned your secret collection of Orlesian Fashion calenders or your chronic use of valium at all tonight

Thorin: shut up! shut up!

West: ANYWAY!!! So shaper Gerteh what evidence does your book use to support the princes innocence

Gerteh: the book uses a series of letters provided by house harrowmont and the recent uncovering of bhelens sleazy deals to show that over half the assembly was in the traitorous prince's pocket!

Fiona: I take it the book doesn't mention how Thorin alienated half the nobles during kareoke night with his Ear bleed enducing cover of "Paragon in Red"

Thorin: You are so DEAD

west: errrr.........the book is in stores now and is highly recommended By our book club!

Thorin: (facepalm) this is a disaster!

Fiona: i think the show is going great

Thorin: you are enjoying this arn't you

Fiona:  loving it

West: (sighs)....next up is our Final guest for the night...hes the king of orzammar....likes golf and is a keen fan of our show....give it up for KING PYRAL HARROWMONT

(thunderous applause)

Harrowmont: Great to at see the show in person West,this show is the highlight of the kingdoms Tv!

West:  your too kind your majesty! now i understand its been a busy five years for orzammar

Harrowmont: yes it hasn't been easy but thanks to assistance from our human freinds we have pushed the darkspawn back past the dead trenches and regained more thaigs in five years then our ancestors had managed to in 500

(the audience cheers loudly)

West: how many troops did the Kingdom of ferelden send my lord?

Harrowmont: funny you should ask...they sent one crazy red head into the deep roads and a few days later we found the tunnels filled with dead darkspawn

Thorin:(chuckles) she probably showed them her collection of Tarantino Slasher flicks

Fiona: don't mock the classics 

Westie: and what about things in orzammar? i hear you selected Thorin as your heir

Harrowmont: yeah the kid is practically family and besides he does great back rubs

Fiona: Dare i ask how my co-host got his throne?

Thorin: Don't you say a word Fiona!


West:(glares at fiona and Thorin ) soooo....you'd say orzammar has a bright future ahead of her

Harrowmont: yes dwarven kind are on the rise again and we have much optimism for the future of orzammar!

(thunderous applause)

West: well folks thats our show for tonight! (to himself) a whole episode without fiona killing someone maker be praised

Fiona: hey blue drinky goodness(drinks the lyri-aid)

Thorin: Fiona NOOOO!!!!!

Fiona: hey hey.!!... i really like the drink.....fruity....yeah yeah yeah .....hey is that audience staring at me?....hey peoples quit staring!!!! oh you wanna play hardball!!!......

Thorin: call security!!!

West: follow me gentlemen its time we headed to the emergency bunker!

Thorin: we have a bunker

West: Insurance company practically ordered me to have one installed incase of " Fiona related damages" Hurry my lord!!

(meanwhile)

Fiona: YEAH meteor sword of death!!!! Im gonna go Slayer on your asses!!!!

(swings sword at  screaming audience)

Janitor #1:(watching montior) Oh heck! we are gonna have a helluva mess to clean up

Janitor#2: I hate this job...

Janitor #1: least we won't have to deal with splatter deaths

Janitor#2: I shoulda listenened to the wife and joined the damn Guard...(self mocking voice) Orzammars a good work place nothing ever happens there!

Thorin:cut!!!!!!!!!

Modifié par westiex9, 11 janvier 2010 - 10:45 .

[Tirigon]

@ Amethyst:

Enchantment!

*in Tirigon´s mind: Lol. GJ on Sandal, that was really funny*

[Kohaku]

All of you are too much. I've been laughing all morning reading this. Too bad I left my harddrive. My Ostagar thing is on there. I'll do it later.

[Tirigon]

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, we´re back in black.
*Tirigon looks at Zevran´s new clothing, then adds:*
And ..... in pink, it seems..... Zevran, what the hell are you wearing there?

Zevran: This?
This is my new Antivan crow clothing. A girl I knew sold it to me. I am
supposed to murder someone at a drag queen party. So I decided to dress
in the right style, you see?

Tirigon: I.... see. Yet,
we are back in BLACK, I said. This is a reference to a well-known
series of pictures. You are ruining this reference. I TOLD you to wear
a tuxedo and black sunglasses, like I do.......

Zevran: But I need to murder someone at a drag party!

Tirigon: Well, in that case, go and kill someone. Just not here. It ruins my gag.

Zevran (playing with his daggers): Hehe, thank you. That will be great fun, haha.

*he leaves*

Tirigon: Assclown.
Well, back to the topic. Today, I am talking about a matter of great
public interest. Maybe you already know that there are lots of people
who actually try to defend Loghain´s actions and demand to declare him
as innocent.
Some of them wrote letters to FereldenTV demanding I should stop treating Loghain as the treacherous bastard he is.
So I decided to invite LOGHAIN!!!! , QUEEN ANORA!!!!! , SHIANNI!!!!! , BAAAAAAAAANN TEA-GAN!!!! , Enchanter IRVING!!!! , and GENITIVI!!!! to hold a
public trial today. I am here as former Warden and the very guy who
beheaded Loghain at the Landsmeet.
On account of me being host
today I will also be the one to lead the trial. This will probably ******
people of, but honestly.... Do I care? I doubt it. I get paid anyways.

*the mentioned people come in and take their places*

Tirigon: First, everyone should state why he or she is here.

Loghain: I am being accused of treachery,
murder of King Cailan, selling Fereldan citizens into slavery, starting
a civil war and  - to quote the "honorable" Tirigon - having a face
that´s just too ugly not to be removed.

*Tirigon grins*

Queen Anora: I am here to defend my father and, by the way, making sure everyone knows that I am the true ruler of Ferelden.

Shianni:
I am here as representant of the elves in the Alienage. In addition
I´ll kick Tiri in the balls if he is too unfair. I´m his girl, I´m
allowed to do that.

*Tirigon tries to smile, but fails horribly*

Bann
Teagan: I´m here to represent the Bannorn. In addition I am, of course,
the most beautiful man in Ferelden and therefore sort of an authority.
And I got chest hair.

Enchanter Irving: I represent the Magi´s circle. And I´m bored. I´ll probably sleep.

Genitivi: I represent the view of the Chantry and the Undead. After all, I´m one of them, after Tirigon killed me twice....


*the national hymn is played*


Tirigon: So, let´s start with the trial! First accusation: Loghain left King Caillan to die at Ostagar and retreated.
You have the word, Loghain.

Loghain: I´m not accusing myself. I´m not forced to talk.

Anora: Loghain´s retreat was ... the best thing he could do ... Though my husband died for it.... And thousands of Fereldans, too...

*she starts crying, though one MIGHT suspect she´s only acting*

Shianni: I wasn´t there, no opinion. But I vote for death, because he´s a bastard.

Teagan: Militarily, it is highly probable that the retreat was unnecessary. Besides, it was definitely a shameful treachery. Worse, however, is that this action led to a civil war. He´s guilty.

Irving (sleepy): Treachery...... BAAAAAAAD stuff.... I guess it´s ... guilty, right?

Genitivi: The chantry does not have an opinion to this. However, the undead have. After Cailan´s death he decided he was born to rule over all undead. His dead army supported him. This led to a terrible war of the Undead.
Guilty. Suggested Punishment: Being eaten alive.


Tirigon: The clear majority believes Loghain to be guilty. Next point: Loghain is accused to have sold Elves - that is Fereldan citizens - as slaves. Even worse, he sold them to bloodmages. Anything to your defense, Loghain?

Loghain: I´m not accusing myself. I´m not forced to talk.

Anora: Well.... Slavery is forbidden and all, but he´s famous..... and my father ....  and they were only elves, nothing important....

Shianni: Loghain brought terrible pain over the elves. Definitely guilty. And btw, Anora, you are a racist b*tch.

Teagan: One of the sold elves was a girl I have had sex with. She was actually very good. Strong and soft at the same time, and with divine legs....:wub:  Well, Loghain´s guilty, I mean.

Irving (yawning): Slavery.... Baaaaad stuff..... Elves ..... baaaad stuff.......  Bloodmages ....... baaad. Guilty.

Genitivi: Neither of the groups I represent care for elves, but the Chantry considers supporting bloodmages as heresy. Loghain deserves death for that. I suggest the punishment of being eaten alive, I´m hungry...


Tirigon: Well, again, nothing in favor of Loghain. We will continue after the commercials.

*The Show is paused for the advertisement*

[Tirigon]

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are back from the break to continue Loghain´s trial.


Tirigon: The next point is Loghain´s various attempts to kill me and Alistair, the very men who saved Ferelden from the Archdemon. Had he succeeded, the Blight would have overrun Ferelden and you all, my friends and foes alike, would be dead. I think this is a crime we could call "attempted Genocide".
Loghain, please talk if you have something to say.

Loghain: Well, I didn´t know you Wardens were necessary, you never told about that. I admit that I was probably being stupid. I should have used Meta-gaming, but alas, that´s kinda hard if you are not a player but a part of the game.....
Anyways, I´m sorry for trying to kill you. All right?

Anora: totally agree. Besides, I am the true Queen. It doesn´t matter now, but I have to say it every now and then.

Shianni: Weeeeeeeeeell, the Wardens are kind of a secret group... Noone knows much. But I think, that makes it just that little more fun to get to know them.
*She smiles seductively at Tirigon*
Do you feel like ... teaching me .... later?

Bann Teagan: Loghain didn´t know you were necessary, so he is innocent of "attempted genocide". But he still tried to murder you. That´s a crime. Not to mention all the murders he committed in his tyranny. Death sentence.

Irving (yawning): Genocide..... I have heard of that word once.... It´s something baaaaaaad. Guilty.

Genitivi: Now, Genocide would please the Undead, but it seems he didn´t do it. He should be eaten alive therefore. May I have a leg right now, I´m really hungry....
By the way, the Chantry disapproves of murder. Unless it´s committed during an exalted march, of course. But that wasn´t the case here.

Tirigon: Ok, Loghain, so you are innocent of attempting to destroy Ferelden´s last hope. Yet you are found guilty of several other crimes.
I think after all that the only possible outcome is clear: Death sentence. The only question that remains is how to execute it. Suggestions?

Loghain: You already beheaded me. So I think you could just leave me be, right?

Anora: I don´t care as long as I am the Queen.

Shianni: I´d like to hit him with a bottle, hehe:devil:

Bann Teagan: He needs to compre his dick length with me. He´ll die for shame about my victory. And all the female visitors will enjoy for sure B)B)

*Irving yawns and continues sleeping. He murmurs something like:*
Always wanted to blow something up... blowing things up is FUN, just the templars forbid it.......

Genitivi: I think the Chantry would like to burn him for heresy. Personally, however, I vote for being eaten alive, I still have not gotten any food. Or we burn him first and eat him then, we Undeads like fried food too....

Tirigon: Well, we see there is much love for Loghain around here, hehe:devil:....
I, personally, agree with Loghain for once. He has already been beheaded. Not that I would mind doing it again, but Shianni is smiling so seductively and, you know, I dislike Necrophilia, so I would rather go in my room with her BEFORE someone gets killed... or eaten. Really, I disagree with eating him. I got a weak stomach, I would probably vomit..... But I´m no judge. I´ll leave it to you, fair folks, to decide whether or not he shall be executed, and if yes, how.

See you all, ladies and Gentlemen! We´re finished!

EDIT: FereldenTV is having a public poll over Loghain´s fate. Please vote at http://social.biowar...952/polls/1141/

Modifié par Tirigon, 11 janvier 2010 - 03:10 .

[amethyst_rose2009]

Tirigon and West, those were really funny. That lyrium-addicted merchant makes me laugh everytime my pc visits Orzammar.  Too bad Sandal can't tag along.  He would love that guy. And Tirigon, too bad you didn't lop Loghain's head off again.  That scene always puts a warm smile on my face when I see Anora covered in her father's blood.
I kind of liked him in the books though, sort of.

[Tirigon]

amethyst_rose2009 wrote...

Tirigon and West, those were really funny. That lyrium-addicted merchant makes me laugh everytime my pc visits Orzammar.  Too bad Sandal can't tag along.  He would love that guy. And Tirigon, too bad you didn't lop Loghain's head off again.  That scene always puts a warm smile on my face when I see Anora covered in her father's blood.
I kind of liked him in the books though, sort of.

You can vote to behead him again. If that´s the majority´s wish, I´ll do it.
The Poll decides. Except if they vote for his innocence, in that case I´ll "forget" about the poll and allow Genitivi to eat him alive.:devil::devil:

[Kohaku]

Roasted and quartered. I'm sure Loghain didn't want to go down like that. XD