478 réponses à ce sujet

[adembroski11]

I have a feeling I'm quite a bit older than most of the people in this thread, so I just want to say that in my experience, having a "Dominant" and "Submissive" member of the relationship doesn't work. That leads to codependency and lots of other unpleasantness.



Both people should be confident enough in a relationship to assert themselves, but also understand when it's best to back off.



People like Alistair tend to have very long lasting bad relationships and have a very difficult time recovering from them. They don't walk away when they should, and the let themselves get walked on.

[big_billy_bagel]

I can see the appeal of Alistair to the girls but I think that he is too soppy to half a long term jobbie with.

[Kohaku]

As much as I like his character. No. He is not the perfect guy. He's one of those men I'd tell something slightly bad and he would cry for hours.



I'm just not sure there could be a long fulfilling relationship to be had. However, he looks great without armor.

[Darth Obvious]

He is kind of annoying. I don't see the appeal...

[SargeantRenegade]

I have a feeling I'm quite a bit older than most of the people in this thread, so I just want to say that in my experience, having a "Dominant" and "Submissive" member of the relationship doesn't work. That leads to codependency and lots of other unpleasantness.

My relationship is at 5 years and counting with no negative vibes forming.

People like Alistair tend to have very long lasting bad relationships and have a very difficult time recovering from them. They don't walk away when they should, and the let themselves get walked on.

I think you may be confusing dominant/submissive personality types in a relationship with emotional sadomasochism.  Emotional masochists do let themselves get walked over, and emotional sadists take pleasure in trampling on the feelings of others.  This is not built on respect, and is therefore almost certain to end badly.  A dominant/submissive dynamic can be built up with respect as a primary attribute.  "Taking control" does not always mean taking the lead.  A dominant partner can support from behind as well as take charge in front - it's just a matter of knowing where to be and when.

[Daramones]

SargeantRenegade wrote...

I have a feeling I'm quite a bit older than most of the people in this thread, so I just want to say that in my experience, having a "Dominant" and "Submissive" member of the relationship doesn't work. That leads to codependency and lots of other unpleasantness.

My relationship is at 5 years and counting with no negative vibes forming.

People like Alistair tend to have very long lasting bad relationships and have a very difficult time recovering from them. They don't walk away when they should, and the let themselves get walked on.

I think you may be confusing dominant/submissive personality types in a relationship with emotional sadomasochism.  Emotional masochists do let themselves get walked over, and emotional sadists take pleasure in trampling on the feelings of others.  This is not built on respect, and is therefore almost certain to end badly.  A dominant/submissive dynamic can be built up with respect as a primary attribute.  "Taking control" does not always mean taking the lead.  A dominant partner can support from behind as well as take charge in front - it's just a matter of knowing where to be and when.

absolutely.  Abusive relationships are not acceptable. That is not at all what I meant by a more dominant person than my BF. I am less afraid to make life altering decisions that affect us than he is. It goes to commitee but of course he is happy enough to let me decide just the same.  I don't mean to infer that my BF has no control, its just that I have to feel in control more than he does. He has plenty of power of veto. In fact because I love him I take him into consideration on every account. I may be the unstopable force but he can be the immoveable object when he wants to be.

[Cybercat999]

Obtusifolius wrote...

Cybercat999 wrote...


So I am being negative and insulting (in your opinion) about a pixel toon and now you are insulting me by calling me immature. Very mature, way to go.
.

No, and you are obviously deliberately misunderstanding me, which I'm afraid just makes you look a bit thick - I am talking about your comment about 'rabid fangirls', which I think was entirely unnecessary. Do you really think I give a toss about you insulting Alistair? Like I said, I understand that people have different opinions.

Not everybody is unable to see reason, you know, and the fact that you are dragging this into a slanging match, when I was striving to stay reasonably calm and civil, shows you to be pretty unpleasant. Never mind maturity, just try being pleasant to people who have done nothing to deserve your ire, hm?

Thanks.

How about taking your own advice? First I am immature now I am thick? Wow thanks, thats a big one from someone trying to tell me what I should or should not write. You are hostile and insulting, far from calm and civil and I see no reason why should I bear with your badly masked malevolence.

Since there is no ignore function on this forum I suggest we both act like there is one from now on. I certainly will.

[Kohaku]

@adembroski11 - I went back a page. You are killing me with laughter.

[Darth Obvious]

I think you guys are getting way too serious about a character in a video game.

These aren't people with real, complete personalities. They are digital characters, and trying to psychoanalyze them is pretty much absurd.

[adembroski11]

Kerridan Kaiba wrote...

@adembroski11 - I went back a page. You are killing me with laughter.

I didn't even realize I'd been posting stuff like that until I looked back. I'm glad you appreciate it:)

[xgiovedi]

Since David Gaider wrote him, does that actually make Gaider the perfect guy?

[EJ42]

Thing is, OP and others, you need to make note that the thread is titled "perfect GUY," and not "perfect BOYFRIEND." Is he the perfect boyfriend? I don't know. I don't really have a horse in that race.

As for the "perfect guy," I can tell you that, from a guy's point of view, no. He is not the perfect guy to hang out with, use as a wingman, or expect to watch your back. I wouldn't rely on him for anything really.

[Cybercat999]

EJ42 wrote...
 I wouldn't rely on him for anything really.

Yeah, thats the main point. Why would one need a *partner* one cant rely on for anything?

Modifié par Cybercat999, 11 janvier 2010 - 07:33 .

[jimbo91291]

whoa whoa whoa, dont be giving my gf any ideas, ive been cheated on before, but never on a pixelated video game character lol. im not playing this game around her anymore haha

p.s., when there is a big battle, he is ALWAYS the first to die haha explain that

Modifié par jimbo91291, 11 janvier 2010 - 07:35 .

[Apocalizz]

jimbo91291 wrote...

p.s., when there is a big battle, he is ALWAYS the first to die haha explain that

You build him wrong?

Anyway girls, let's not get all cat fighty. Alistair is just the product of brilliant writing, voice acting and pixeldesign! There to be enjoyed ... and not, like someone previously said, to psychoanalyze or fight over!

Although I have to say, people who whine about Alistair being whiney crack me up

[Lucas78]

Posting in a legendary thread.



Ok, back to schedule.

[JabberJaww]

xgiovedi wrote...

Since David Gaider wrote him, does that actually make Gaider the perfect guy?

Uh oh, Gaider's ego is going to go through the roof now

[Hipno]

OMG so many Alistair lovers!

Join my group!

http://social.bioware.com/group/977/

[Alarna]

JabberJaww wrote...

xgiovedi wrote...

Since David Gaider wrote him, does that actually make Gaider the perfect guy?

Uh oh, Gaider's ego is going to go through the roof now

I hope his feet stay on the ground. But he did it, he wrote the best NPC character I have ever seen. Congratulations to this but that doesn't mean, he is like the characters he wrote.
Maybe he is a perfect guy, I don't know him I cannot say, but if you remember, he wrote Morrigan too. Does this make him a perfect beast?

[castaftw]

Quite a long thread going here and im kinda bored, so here goes



Personally I can't stand Alistairs whiney and holier than thou attitude, but as I am male and a straight one at that, it is only fair that it should not be me that should judge him the perfect guy or not as boyfriend.

From my experience though, different women have different tastes, so certain "methods" would seem appealing and some would be an instant turn off when trying to seduce. One thing that is generally true though is that the biggest turn off of all is whining, and this is true regardless of gender, nobody finds complaining seductive, especially over small things. Some people think that speaking your mind and always being honest will make them attractive, in fact it is best to keep some things a secret or a mystery so that they instead will wonder, trying to figure you out... constantly thinking about you.

Alistair is trying to act innocent and unexperienced, in fact entirely childish about life. Some women like that, mostly the ones who themselves has found out that being a child doesn't get you anywhere in the real life, but they still wish they could go back to a life with no expectations or responsibility.



Oh well excuse my ranting if you didn't care at all

[paranoid_marv]

Alarna wrote...

JabberJaww wrote...

xgiovedi wrote...

Since David Gaider wrote him, does that actually make Gaider the perfect guy?

Uh oh, Gaider's ego is going to go through the roof now 

I hope his feet stay on the ground. But he did it, he wrote the best NPC character I have ever seen. Congratulations to this but that doesn't mean, he is like the characters he wrote.
Maybe he is a perfect guy, I don't know him I cannot say, but if you remember, he wrote Morrigan too. Does this make him a perfect beast?

He really is well written. Alistair gets whole threads dedicated to him. I know Morrigan and Leliana threads exist but those are much more focused on their external appearances than this one.

Alistair seems pretty realistic and the fact that people are in this thread arguing about the type of person he is stands as a testament to the quality of the writing.

I think Morrigan is a close second but she seems a bit obvious towards the end. She's afraid to commit to the main character and surprised by how much of a nice guy the warden is. It leads to confusing signals and unclear choices in conversation. Actually that sounds like a realistic relationship. Not a good relationship but  a believable one nonetheless. Gaider did a pretty good job.

It's too bad a lot of the conversation choices for Leliana require agreeing with her that the Maker exists.

Modifié par paranoid_marv, 11 janvier 2010 - 08:59 .

[xgiovedi]

Alarna wrote...
Congratulations to this but that doesn't mean, he is like the characters he wrote.
Maybe he is a perfect guy, I don't know him I cannot say, but if you remember, he wrote Morrigan too. Does this make him a perfect beast?

And now I suppose I should add It was a joke (a fairly obvious one, I wrongly thought).
I don't know David Gaider, either lol