And now for the metal bikini mod...Kidding lol *gets back to writing*
Lost Innocence - WIP Updated 3/1
Débuté par
tallon1982
, janv. 11 2010 05:35
Retour en haut
#52
Posté 21 janvier 2010 - 11:52
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
“Trust can take years to build, but only a second to break.” - Unknown
The drums of war could never be mistaken for anything else. Even high above the actual battle the ground shook as two armies met on the battlefield. The once starry sky was now blanketed in dark clouds. Lightening streaked across the darkness and the thunder answered. Tears of Andraste fell from the clouds slow at first then fell faster as she wept for those who would die this night.
In the distant trees of the Wilds mist formed and the darkspawn came into view. The torches they carried seemed to set the Wilds ablaze. Tonight the people of Ferelden would feel the wrath of the darkspawn.
“For Ferelden!” cried Calian as he waved the army forward to attack. The glorious battle Calian desired had begun.
The darkspawn army charged forward to meet the Fereldens and behind them began the launch of the catapults. Large chunks of rock flung at the span of Ostagar.
Evelyn watched in awe at the sight of war. It was nothing like she imaged. People were dying around her and she knew it was merely the beginning. Alistair grabbed her, “Come on! We need to get to the tower!”
She nodded and hurried with him across the span as the ballistae fired at the darkspawn along with archers from the span. Dax was right with them as they cleared the span and not a moment too soon. One of the ballistae were destroyed by the enemy catapult. Evelyn saw the soldier twitch is fingertips while looking at her before his eyes dimmed, another life taken too soon.
The rain began to fall harder and stung at times when the wind gusted. They hurried towards the tower only to be stopped by the guard and a circle mage named Cyrion.
“You’re Grey Wardens?” The guard asked quickly, “There are darkspawn in the tower!”
“Darkspawn?!” Alistair raised his brow as he looked at the guard, “Are you sure?”
“He speaks the truth. They came out of nowhere it seems.” Cyrion said as he looked at them, “There’s no way to get into the tower. It’s overrun.”
Evelyn glanced at Dax who tilted his head at her before moving to the slope that allowed them access to Ishal. She moved towards while the men blinked at her. Without a word she drew her sword and dagger and continued on.
“We’ll need to fight.” Alistair agreed with the decision of Evelyn and moved to follow.
Cyrion looked at the guard then looked determined to save the tower. The guard shook his head, “Mad…The whole lot of ya!”
----
With nothing but pure determination to get the job done Evelyn walked into the open courtyard of the Tower of Ishal. She saw the men fighting for their lives against the darkspawn. They had fear in their eyes and when one of their comrades fell it shook them up more. She wasted no time and if she could save them she would. With a battle cry she charged and began her assault.
Dax went after the archers above while Evelyn worked on the genlocks that had just finished a guard off. Alistair slashed the torso of a hurlock then glanced at her, “Can’t let you have all the fun!”
They worked together in what seemed like a dance and Cyrion provided the special lighting. Darkspawn began to drop left and right as magic, metal and fanged teeth banded together for good of Ferelden. The only thing that barred their paths to the doors of Ishal was a Hurlock Alpha. He taunted them to come to their deaths.
“Hit him with some ice.” Evelyn said to Cyrion as she moved to attack.
Dax charged only to be swatted aside. He yelped as he landed on the ground then shook his head before getting up. His stubborn mabari nature was kicking in and he went for the legs this time as the paralyze spell rather than ice went off causing the Alpha to freeze for a moment. Alistair rammed into him with his shield while Evelyn ran him through from behind.
“Nobody hurts my dog.” Evelyn growled then shoved the blade in further before stabbing her dagger into the base of his neck severing his connection to the spine.
Cyrion winced a little as did Alistair but Dax just barked at the dead Alpha before moving with Evelyn into the tower.
“If that’s what she does to someone that kicks her dog I’d hate to see what she does to someone that steps on her toes.” Cyrion muttered to Alistair.
Alistair glanced at the mage, “Then don’t ask her to dance.”
------------
The tower was as Cyrion said. It was overrun with darkspawn. They had to make sure they took care of every single one as they cleared the levels. It was an exhausting task for the mage especially. As they reached the third level of the tower Alistair stopped to catch his breath, “I thought there wasn’t supposed to be any resistance.”
Cyrion shrugged but Evelyn just glanced at Alistair with an amused look in her eyes, “And you were complaining about not getting any action? Or was it another sort of action you were implying?”
“Well I guess there is a bright side to all this…” Alistair grinned then paused a moment, “Hey…what you do you mean another sort of action?”
Evelyn just smirked as she moved into the next room to slaughter the darkspawn. They found some mabari in cages barking and growling at the genlocks and a Genlock Alpha. Before Evelyn could say anything they were spotted and the fight began. Dax went right at the Genlock Alpha while Alistair and Cyrion took on the other genlocks.
“Open the cages!” Alistair shouted to Evelyn who was already heading to the lever.
Like minds I see…perhaps we’ll get along just fine
The metal clanking of the doors opening to the cages was the last sound the genlocks heard before they became victims of mabari rage. Howls echoed down the hall to the other darkspawn who were waiting. The Genlock Alpha laid on the ground with his throat ripped out and soon others joined his fate. The mabari charged into the rooms taking down any darkspawn they saw. They fought alongside the Grey Wardens as proud warriors until the floor was clear. Dax let out a victorious howl along with the other mabari.
“Remind me to not ****** off a mabari.” Alistair quipped to Evelyn who just smiled and patted his shoulder.
Dax wagged his tail then followed while the mabari they had set free stood guard at the steps. Quickly the party ran up the stairs to the last floor. Finally they would be able to light the beacon.
-----
They raced up the last stretch of stairs before skidding to a halt. Before them was something from nightmares. Bluish-grey skin and towering above them was an Ogre.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Evelyn muttered as she held her blades ready. Dax raised his hackles as he growled and bared his teeth at the Ogre.
The Ogre saw Dax as a challenge and roared at him. Dax lowered himself as he kept growling, preparing to jump. Evelyn moved in front of Dax to stop that knowing that the Ogre would kill him. Her eyes focused on the Ogre while Cyrion moved along the outer circle. Alistair glanced at her, “Got some sort of brilliant plan for this?”
“Yea I do.” Evelyn said calmly.
“And are you going to share?” Alistair raised his brow as he held the shield ready.
She glanced at him, “Don’t die.”
He was about to say something back when she roared at the Ogre to get his attention then charged in. She waved her hand to the right signaling Dax to move. Dax bolted off to the right to flank. The Ogre roared back at Evelyn and charged at her but just before he could gore her with his horns she slid under him, whipping her blades quickly to cut at his thighs then ankles. She was on her shins with her back nearly flat on the ground, a risk that left her very vulnerable. Dax jumped at the ogre and grabbed onto his arm, clamping down as hard as he could. Alistair hurried towards the Ogre with his own battle cry as he slashed at the Ogre’s torso in an upwards slash.
Cyrion conjured up lightening and sent out towards the ogre letting it sear the skin. The Ogre growled in pain and flung Dax off his arm then shoved Alistair away. He tried to grab at Evelyn but she proved too fast. The focus turned to the mage. Evelyn scrambled to get behind the ogre then jumped with both blades gleaming in the dim light. They plunged into the back of the Ogre and she held on tight as the ogre thrashed violently. Her blades raked the ogre’s back before she fell to the ground and wincing at her poor landing.
“Evelyn!” Alistair shouted as he saw the ogre turn with his fists above his head. The ogre was going to pummel her into the ground. Alistair shouted, “No!” In a fit of rage he charged while Cyrion casted his paralyze spell on the Ogre.
As the ogre froze in place Evelyn pulled herself away and got up. As she turned to look at the ogre Alistair leaped into the air and plunged his sword into the head of the Ogre. The Ogre writhed then fell down from the pure force of Alistair’s blade. With a twist of the blade it was dead and Alistair jumped off the corpse panting. He pointed at Cyrion, “Light the beacon, now!”
-------
The beacon was lit and below in the battlefield Loghain looked up to see his signal. He narrowed his eyes then looked over to his second, Ser Cauthrien.
She perked up seeing the signal lit and looked at her mentor, “Shall I order the attack?”
“No.” Loghain said as he turned away from the battle, “Order the retreat.”
“But the King…” Cauthrien couldn’t believe her ears. She looked at Loghain questioning his orders for the first time.
He noticed the look then grabbed her arm roughly, “I said order the retreat!”
Cauthrien jerked her arm away from Loghain after seeing the anger in his steel blue eyes. She turned to the army then signaled the retreat. Confusion was heard in the ranks as they did a left face and marched out of the battlefield leaving their King to a cruel fate.
------
“Are you alright?” Alistair asked Evelyn as he helped her steady herself. He saw her wince when she tried to put weight on her left leg. He frowned then knelt down to check her ankle, “It might be broken…Does this hurt?”
As she felt him touch it she yelped and he looked at her long legs, “I’ll take that as a yes.” He stood back up then smirked a bit, “Guess I’ll have to carry you down.”
“Ha! That’ll be the day.” Evelyn quipped as she returned his smirk. Their smirks faded when Alistair looked at the stairs.
Dax was growling and Cyrion held his staff ready. Alistair moved in front of Evelyn, “Everyone get back.”
It was too late. Arrows pierced into Cyrion’s chest and he barely got off a spell to help protect them. He fell onto the floor dead while Dax hurried back to protect his mistress. An arrow struck his flank and he yelped before laying down knowing the battle was lost. Alistair tried to block the incoming arrows and Evelyn held her blades ready before they both were struck down. Several arrows stuck out of her body and she felt herself drifting away.
I failed you Father…Mother…Oren…Oriana…Fergus…Forgive me…
The drums of war could never be mistaken for anything else. Even high above the actual battle the ground shook as two armies met on the battlefield. The once starry sky was now blanketed in dark clouds. Lightening streaked across the darkness and the thunder answered. Tears of Andraste fell from the clouds slow at first then fell faster as she wept for those who would die this night.
In the distant trees of the Wilds mist formed and the darkspawn came into view. The torches they carried seemed to set the Wilds ablaze. Tonight the people of Ferelden would feel the wrath of the darkspawn.
“For Ferelden!” cried Calian as he waved the army forward to attack. The glorious battle Calian desired had begun.
The darkspawn army charged forward to meet the Fereldens and behind them began the launch of the catapults. Large chunks of rock flung at the span of Ostagar.
Evelyn watched in awe at the sight of war. It was nothing like she imaged. People were dying around her and she knew it was merely the beginning. Alistair grabbed her, “Come on! We need to get to the tower!”
She nodded and hurried with him across the span as the ballistae fired at the darkspawn along with archers from the span. Dax was right with them as they cleared the span and not a moment too soon. One of the ballistae were destroyed by the enemy catapult. Evelyn saw the soldier twitch is fingertips while looking at her before his eyes dimmed, another life taken too soon.
The rain began to fall harder and stung at times when the wind gusted. They hurried towards the tower only to be stopped by the guard and a circle mage named Cyrion.
“You’re Grey Wardens?” The guard asked quickly, “There are darkspawn in the tower!”
“Darkspawn?!” Alistair raised his brow as he looked at the guard, “Are you sure?”
“He speaks the truth. They came out of nowhere it seems.” Cyrion said as he looked at them, “There’s no way to get into the tower. It’s overrun.”
Evelyn glanced at Dax who tilted his head at her before moving to the slope that allowed them access to Ishal. She moved towards while the men blinked at her. Without a word she drew her sword and dagger and continued on.
“We’ll need to fight.” Alistair agreed with the decision of Evelyn and moved to follow.
Cyrion looked at the guard then looked determined to save the tower. The guard shook his head, “Mad…The whole lot of ya!”
----
With nothing but pure determination to get the job done Evelyn walked into the open courtyard of the Tower of Ishal. She saw the men fighting for their lives against the darkspawn. They had fear in their eyes and when one of their comrades fell it shook them up more. She wasted no time and if she could save them she would. With a battle cry she charged and began her assault.
Dax went after the archers above while Evelyn worked on the genlocks that had just finished a guard off. Alistair slashed the torso of a hurlock then glanced at her, “Can’t let you have all the fun!”
They worked together in what seemed like a dance and Cyrion provided the special lighting. Darkspawn began to drop left and right as magic, metal and fanged teeth banded together for good of Ferelden. The only thing that barred their paths to the doors of Ishal was a Hurlock Alpha. He taunted them to come to their deaths.
“Hit him with some ice.” Evelyn said to Cyrion as she moved to attack.
Dax charged only to be swatted aside. He yelped as he landed on the ground then shook his head before getting up. His stubborn mabari nature was kicking in and he went for the legs this time as the paralyze spell rather than ice went off causing the Alpha to freeze for a moment. Alistair rammed into him with his shield while Evelyn ran him through from behind.
“Nobody hurts my dog.” Evelyn growled then shoved the blade in further before stabbing her dagger into the base of his neck severing his connection to the spine.
Cyrion winced a little as did Alistair but Dax just barked at the dead Alpha before moving with Evelyn into the tower.
“If that’s what she does to someone that kicks her dog I’d hate to see what she does to someone that steps on her toes.” Cyrion muttered to Alistair.
Alistair glanced at the mage, “Then don’t ask her to dance.”
------------
The tower was as Cyrion said. It was overrun with darkspawn. They had to make sure they took care of every single one as they cleared the levels. It was an exhausting task for the mage especially. As they reached the third level of the tower Alistair stopped to catch his breath, “I thought there wasn’t supposed to be any resistance.”
Cyrion shrugged but Evelyn just glanced at Alistair with an amused look in her eyes, “And you were complaining about not getting any action? Or was it another sort of action you were implying?”
“Well I guess there is a bright side to all this…” Alistair grinned then paused a moment, “Hey…what you do you mean another sort of action?”
Evelyn just smirked as she moved into the next room to slaughter the darkspawn. They found some mabari in cages barking and growling at the genlocks and a Genlock Alpha. Before Evelyn could say anything they were spotted and the fight began. Dax went right at the Genlock Alpha while Alistair and Cyrion took on the other genlocks.
“Open the cages!” Alistair shouted to Evelyn who was already heading to the lever.
Like minds I see…perhaps we’ll get along just fine
The metal clanking of the doors opening to the cages was the last sound the genlocks heard before they became victims of mabari rage. Howls echoed down the hall to the other darkspawn who were waiting. The Genlock Alpha laid on the ground with his throat ripped out and soon others joined his fate. The mabari charged into the rooms taking down any darkspawn they saw. They fought alongside the Grey Wardens as proud warriors until the floor was clear. Dax let out a victorious howl along with the other mabari.
“Remind me to not ****** off a mabari.” Alistair quipped to Evelyn who just smiled and patted his shoulder.
Dax wagged his tail then followed while the mabari they had set free stood guard at the steps. Quickly the party ran up the stairs to the last floor. Finally they would be able to light the beacon.
-----
They raced up the last stretch of stairs before skidding to a halt. Before them was something from nightmares. Bluish-grey skin and towering above them was an Ogre.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Evelyn muttered as she held her blades ready. Dax raised his hackles as he growled and bared his teeth at the Ogre.
The Ogre saw Dax as a challenge and roared at him. Dax lowered himself as he kept growling, preparing to jump. Evelyn moved in front of Dax to stop that knowing that the Ogre would kill him. Her eyes focused on the Ogre while Cyrion moved along the outer circle. Alistair glanced at her, “Got some sort of brilliant plan for this?”
“Yea I do.” Evelyn said calmly.
“And are you going to share?” Alistair raised his brow as he held the shield ready.
She glanced at him, “Don’t die.”
He was about to say something back when she roared at the Ogre to get his attention then charged in. She waved her hand to the right signaling Dax to move. Dax bolted off to the right to flank. The Ogre roared back at Evelyn and charged at her but just before he could gore her with his horns she slid under him, whipping her blades quickly to cut at his thighs then ankles. She was on her shins with her back nearly flat on the ground, a risk that left her very vulnerable. Dax jumped at the ogre and grabbed onto his arm, clamping down as hard as he could. Alistair hurried towards the Ogre with his own battle cry as he slashed at the Ogre’s torso in an upwards slash.
Cyrion conjured up lightening and sent out towards the ogre letting it sear the skin. The Ogre growled in pain and flung Dax off his arm then shoved Alistair away. He tried to grab at Evelyn but she proved too fast. The focus turned to the mage. Evelyn scrambled to get behind the ogre then jumped with both blades gleaming in the dim light. They plunged into the back of the Ogre and she held on tight as the ogre thrashed violently. Her blades raked the ogre’s back before she fell to the ground and wincing at her poor landing.
“Evelyn!” Alistair shouted as he saw the ogre turn with his fists above his head. The ogre was going to pummel her into the ground. Alistair shouted, “No!” In a fit of rage he charged while Cyrion casted his paralyze spell on the Ogre.
As the ogre froze in place Evelyn pulled herself away and got up. As she turned to look at the ogre Alistair leaped into the air and plunged his sword into the head of the Ogre. The Ogre writhed then fell down from the pure force of Alistair’s blade. With a twist of the blade it was dead and Alistair jumped off the corpse panting. He pointed at Cyrion, “Light the beacon, now!”
-------
The beacon was lit and below in the battlefield Loghain looked up to see his signal. He narrowed his eyes then looked over to his second, Ser Cauthrien.
She perked up seeing the signal lit and looked at her mentor, “Shall I order the attack?”
“No.” Loghain said as he turned away from the battle, “Order the retreat.”
“But the King…” Cauthrien couldn’t believe her ears. She looked at Loghain questioning his orders for the first time.
He noticed the look then grabbed her arm roughly, “I said order the retreat!”
Cauthrien jerked her arm away from Loghain after seeing the anger in his steel blue eyes. She turned to the army then signaled the retreat. Confusion was heard in the ranks as they did a left face and marched out of the battlefield leaving their King to a cruel fate.
------
“Are you alright?” Alistair asked Evelyn as he helped her steady herself. He saw her wince when she tried to put weight on her left leg. He frowned then knelt down to check her ankle, “It might be broken…Does this hurt?”
As she felt him touch it she yelped and he looked at her long legs, “I’ll take that as a yes.” He stood back up then smirked a bit, “Guess I’ll have to carry you down.”
“Ha! That’ll be the day.” Evelyn quipped as she returned his smirk. Their smirks faded when Alistair looked at the stairs.
Dax was growling and Cyrion held his staff ready. Alistair moved in front of Evelyn, “Everyone get back.”
It was too late. Arrows pierced into Cyrion’s chest and he barely got off a spell to help protect them. He fell onto the floor dead while Dax hurried back to protect his mistress. An arrow struck his flank and he yelped before laying down knowing the battle was lost. Alistair tried to block the incoming arrows and Evelyn held her blades ready before they both were struck down. Several arrows stuck out of her body and she felt herself drifting away.
I failed you Father…Mother…Oren…Oriana…Fergus…Forgive me…
#53
Posté 21 janvier 2010 - 11:57
AdorableAnarchist
-
- Members
- 449 messages
Love, love, LOVE the interplay between the characters -- as I keep saying.
#54
Posté 22 janvier 2010 - 12:00
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
Thank you thank you! I think being snarky is going to be fun with Morrigan hehe
#56
Posté 22 janvier 2010 - 06:01
ReubenLiew
-
- Members
- 2 674 messages
Got through reading it all 
I like it Very nice flow to the reading.
I like it
Very nice flow to the reading.
#58
Posté 22 janvier 2010 - 06:16
Sialater
-
- Members
- 12 600 messages
Interesting take on Ishal being a place Alistair blames himself for. Never looked at it like he was the one in charge there, but that makes sense.
#59
Posté 22 janvier 2010 - 06:50
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
I wanted to play with it a bit more because Alistair is bossing ya around in that place so I figured why not make him responsible lol
#61
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 01:29
Kulkodar
-
- Members
- 87 messages
Nicely done Tallon. Will be keeping tabs for the next installment 
#63
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 07:19
MarcusDeVarro
-
- Members
- 284 messages
its 1:19 am and i just finish ch12 and love it!
#64
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 07:48
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
You must be on crack lol Kidding!
#65
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 07:45
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
#66
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 07:53
TheMadCat
-
- Members
- 2 728 messages
So much too read, so little time. Very nice work.
#67
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 09:41
Jules8445
-
- Members
- 247 messages
Oh! Love it! I've considered doing something similar to this myself. I think our stories would be very similar though, seems like we play the game the same way. I'll leave it to you, I think you're probably better at telling the story.
Love the ad libs! You've really got the characters down. Can't wait to see more!
Love the ad libs! You've really got the characters down. Can't wait to see more!
#68
Posté 23 janvier 2010 - 09:52
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
Jules8445 wrote...
Oh! Love it! I've considered doing something similar to this myself. I think our stories would be very similar though, seems like we play the game the same way. I'll leave it to you, I think you're probably better at telling the story.
Love the ad libs! You've really got the characters down. Can't wait to see more!
The stories might be similar but you won't know unless you write something down. You could have a totally different take on things than I do afterall plus we'd have different styles in writing. There are many "similar" stories out there but that doesn't stop people from writing them. Why should it stop you?
#69
Posté 24 janvier 2010 - 04:30
ReubenLiew
-
- Members
- 2 674 messages
She's getting so angry 
Nice! Keep on going
Nice! Keep on going
#72
Posté 24 janvier 2010 - 06:17
tallon1982
-
- Members
- 1 204 messages
Just a heads up I might have to go back and edit a few things. I got a review stating some grammar and spelling errors. I didn't see any when I had posted these but it doesn't hurt to look again.
#73
Posté 25 janvier 2010 - 01:39
Sisimka
-
- Members
- 935 messages
I've finally caught up with all your chapters. Love this. Makes me want to start the game all over again (that would be my, ahem, seventh or eigth playthrough).
#74
Posté 25 janvier 2010 - 02:26
AdorableAnarchist
-
- Members
- 449 messages
tallon1982 wrote...
And now for the metal bikini mod...Kidding lol *gets back to writing*
Chainmail bikinis hurt, especially if you get a sunburn while in one... Just saying....
Not that this has happened or anything......
Yeah.....
Damned misspent youth.
