In very short words?
Ashley is the tough one. Tough outside and soft inside, but if you can't get through the shell, you won't see that softer Ash. Think her original writer, Chris L'Etoile, did a damn good job to display this woman. If you can't get through her first layer, the tough, brutally honest outside, you can't find much potential to hook up with Ashley.
So it's up to you to give her a chance or to give up on her. Your decision (and must say, it's one of the few decisions in ME with a -real- impact!) matters.
Thing is: in ME3 Ashley is totally different from the one in ME1. Lack of content, I guess. A lot of her traits and quirks don't get touched at all. That means there's not much to hook up with her. Either BW assumes only her old fans know who she is and make her extra hard to understand, or her new writer didn't care that much of her like Chris. Maybe it's both.
As one of her fans I say, an in ME1 romanced Ash should feel different. She had her deal of distrust for most parts of the game and I must say, right after the Coup, Ash shouldn't doubt Shepard's goals anymore. It's just a tad too much, you know?
The inner "secret" side of Ash is what I'm missing most in ME3. That's the soft, loving one - the one you see right before the attack on the Cronos station. I mean, she really doesn't drop many hints in that field throughout the game (thanks to lack of content).
Think that's why Ashley is much more flirty and "soft" in my dialogues since I believe that's who she really is if not acting tough-as-nails-die-hard-Williams.





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