Seriously.
Don’t do that. They are dumb. Just look at them!
EDIT: this is to show contrast, not to illustrate the ideal armour design for females. More on the topic of actual design suggestions can be found here as posted up by the awesome HJF4
And no, I am not bothered by Isabela’s armour or lack thereof. She can prance around in a nightgown and panties all she wants and it ain’t my place to interfere. I can suspend my disbelief enough to trust that she is just good enough to survive fights in that. Just like my male warrior can survive taking a Qunari spear to the groin with no repercussions or my mage eating a fireball in DAO without suffering from third-degree burns and associated difficulties his entire life. It’s fantasy and the battles are fantastical and rather abstract. I’m cool with it, I’m with the times.
But ****** implants on plate armour? NO. I’m bothered by them and the risk of a fractured sternum has nothing to do with it. I am bothered because they are just mind-numbingly ridiculous and stupid. I like the ladies to look good, but this just doesn’t.
You see, sexy is a positive quality, but it’s a lot like funny – you have to time it properly. It doesn’t matter if you are the greatest lover of humour, a purveyor of jokes and write comedy sketches in your free time just for the love of it. If someone tells you a joke as you frantically scramble to revive the lifeless corpse of your friend in the middle of a horrific car accident you won’t laugh at it. If someone makes a quip about your friend missing his chair while sitting down 20 minuets ago you won’t laugh. It’s just too late and no longer zingy. With comedy timing is paramount and if you do it just right you can be crowned King of the Laughlands. Likewise, if you do it wrong you will get a second of people staring at you before sighing in resignation and ignoring you for the rest of the evening.
If you do sexy at the wrong time or place you will end up looking like an ass and nothing else.
And what is the wrong place to do sexy? In the middle of an armoured warrior's chest. Don’t do that. There is a time and a place for that.
But why am I bringing it up now and here? DAII did away with this idiotic practice after all. And how right you are! My purpose here is to encourage more of that. Sex scenes raunchier than what I can get on a TV commercial? Awesome, you go work on them right now! Anything else genuinely sexy? Do that and find comfort in my blessing of your activities. Stapling boobs unto plate armour? You step away from your computer and think about what you did. You monster.
I truly hope that the decision to no longer partake in this awful tradition was a conscious one on the developer’s side. If it was for the sake of cutting time while scrambling to put DAII out then it’s great too. The choice to focus on making the game (however poorly in the opinion of a vocal many) instead of sculpting D-cups atop a crazed berseker’s bosom is one I can get behind.
Bioware, please make DAIII an awesome, fun, deep, rich and sexy game untainted by the scourge of literal breastplates.
Modifié par MrFlipFlops, 14 mars 2013 - 10:48 .
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