252 réponses à ce sujet

[Enkidu]

Why, hello there! I’m here to talk to you about breasts. Who doesn’t love ‘em? I sure do. In fact, I grew two of my own just because they’re so cool. But you know what’s not cool? A walking tank with enough strength to wrestle a dragon bare-handed sporting some really incongruous boob cups.

Seriously.

Don’t do that. They are dumb. Just look at them!

EDIT: this is to show contrast, not to illustrate the ideal armour design for females. More on the topic of actual design suggestions can be found here as posted up by the awesome HJF4

And no, I am not bothered by Isabela’s armour or lack thereof. She can prance around in a nightgown and panties all she wants and it ain’t my place to interfere. I can suspend my disbelief enough to trust that she is just good enough to survive fights in that. Just like my male warrior can survive taking a Qunari spear to the groin with no repercussions or my mage eating a fireball in DAO without suffering from third-degree burns and associated difficulties his entire life. It’s fantasy and the battles are fantastical and rather abstract. I’m cool with it, I’m with the times.

But ****** implants on plate armour? NO. I’m bothered by them and the risk of a fractured sternum has nothing to do with it. I am bothered because they are just mind-numbingly ridiculous and stupid. I like the ladies to look good, but this just doesn’t.

You see, sexy is a positive quality, but it’s a lot like funny – you have to time it properly. It doesn’t matter if you are the greatest lover of humour, a purveyor of jokes and write comedy sketches in your free time just for the love of it. If someone tells you a joke as you frantically scramble to revive the lifeless corpse of your friend in the middle of a horrific car accident you won’t laugh at it. If someone makes a quip about your friend missing his chair while sitting down 20 minuets ago you won’t laugh. It’s just too late and no longer zingy. With comedy timing is paramount and if you do it just right you can be crowned King of the Laughlands. Likewise, if you do it wrong you will get a second of people staring at you before sighing in resignation and ignoring you for the rest of the evening.

If you do sexy at the wrong time or place you will end up looking like an ass and nothing else.
And what is the wrong place to do sexy? In the middle of an armoured warrior's chest. Don’t do that. There is a time and a place for that.

But why am I bringing it up now and here? DAII did away with this idiotic practice after all. And how right you are! My purpose here is to encourage more of that. Sex scenes raunchier than what I can get on a TV commercial? Awesome, you go work on them right now! Anything else genuinely sexy? Do that and find comfort in my blessing of your activities. Stapling boobs unto plate armour? You step away from your computer and think about what you did. You monster.

I truly hope that the decision to no longer partake in this awful tradition was a conscious one on the developer’s side. If it was for the sake of cutting time while scrambling to put DAII out then it’s great too. The choice to focus on making the game (however poorly in the opinion of a vocal many) instead of sculpting D-cups atop a crazed berseker’s bosom is one I can get behind.

Bioware, please make DAIII an awesome, fun, deep, rich and sexy game untainted by the scourge of literal breastplates.

Modifié par MrFlipFlops, 14 mars 2013 - 10:48 .

[New Display Name]

I have to agree.

[Heimdall]

I don't imagine anyone will disagree

Then again, this is BSN...

[Hadeedak]

Yeah, I'm with that. Practical clothing is seldom really appealing, or primarily appealing. Any appeal is secondary. And that happens with armor, too. The sexy should come from how she looks wearing the armor, not the armor itself. If she looks confident, laughs, whatever, that's good.

[Enkidu]

Filament wrote...
I like how the walking tank who has the strength to wrestle a dragon while wearing boob cups doesn't set off your immershuns alert until the boob cups, though.

I believe I addressed that in the "it's all fantasy and realism can go suck an egg" part. They do nothing to my immersion. They hurt my aesthetic sensibilities.  In fact, I don’t believe I ever even used the word “immersion” in relation to the subject. I did say they are stupid-looking.

Modifié par MrFlipFlops, 14 mars 2013 - 04:12 .

[Cutlass Jack]

Both versions of that armor offend my aesthetic sensibilities. 'Guy Chest' is just as bad as 'Boob Chest.'

[brushyourteeth]

This thread is full of win.

I haven't seen anything this intelligent and hilarious on the BSN in a looong time. +1!!

[Enkidu]

Cutlass Jack wrote...
Both versions of that armor offend my aesthetic sensibilities. 'Guy Chest' is just as bad as 'Boob Chest.'

The picture was more of a "what not to do" instead of a "that's how you do it!" and served to provide contrast. I'm not actually suggesting that they do all new designs exactly like that.

[Giga Drill BREAKER]

tbf you would imagine armour made for a woman would have room for breasts, otherwise it would get very tight and sweaty......

nevermind

[New Display Name]

DinoSteve wrote...

tbf you would imagine armour made for a woman would have room for breasts, otherwise it would get very tight and sweaty......

nevermind

That there, that is a boob plate. I made that one. The woman in the
photo asked for it to be like that. She fights in it. I worry constantly
that she’s going to fall hard and it will crack her sternum, even with
the padding. Note also that it seems almost perfectly designed to guide
sword points and arrows into her heart. They still have to penetrate the
armor but, honestly, that’s a design flaw.

[Enkidu]

DinoSteve wrote...
tbf you would imagine armour made for a woman would have room for breasts, otherwise it would get very tight and sweaty......

nevermind

You can get enough space for all your favourite lady-features with a convex plate. There is no need to separate each breast into its own little compartment.

Filament wrote...
You "address" it but I dunno, you just point out that "that's not it" without really offering a good alternative to why it's so offensive then. Clearly there must be a good reason for it to be so "monstrous" etc.

It seems to be based on the assumption that the goal could have only been titillation and how that offends your sensibilities, but I imagine the greater reason that kind of armor was designed (in DAO at least) was just so that girls don't look like boys.

It's not really offensive (not to me, at least) it's just silly. While that is a really subjective quality, I believe there is merit to it nonetheless. The "monstrous" comment was for the comedic purposes, by the way. I don't actually think it's a crime against mankind.

My actual assumption was that they did it because that's just how all fantasy armour usually works and gave no more thought to the concept beyond that. And I can't speak for others, but I have no trouble telling the ladies from the gents even when their boobs aren't highlighted. I believe there is a way to achieve the effect without such drastic measures.

Modifié par MrFlipFlops, 14 mars 2013 - 04:34 .

[Skyance]

I... concur. The image on the right is just downright painful.

[Giga Drill BREAKER]

MrFlipFlops wrote...

DinoSteve wrote...
tbf you would imagine armour made for a woman would have room for breasts, otherwise it would get very tight and sweaty......

nevermind

You can get enough space for all your favourite lady-features with a convex plate. There is no need to separate each breat into its own little compartment.

Never said there had to, all I said was you think more room would be needed. I suppose it would depend on the woman too.

[TheBreadedOne]

Didn't most the heavy armor in 2 not have "boob separators"?

[SgtElias]

MrFlipFlops wrote...

You can get enough space for all your favourite lady-features with a convex plate. There is no need to separate each breast into its own little compartment.

I was wondering about this, actually. I'm not familiar with armor on the whole, but I always wondered how armor made for somelike like me (who is rather busty) would look, as opposed to the two pictures posted above.

Because unless armor fits one's body very differently than I'm imagining, I can imagine trying to squeeze into plate made for a man would be . . . rather uncomfortable.

Still, I agree with you; I don't think each breast needs its own compartment. That also seems . . . potentially painful.

[Cutlass Jack]

I think this covers the topic quite well. (Okay pun was slightly intentional)

[Harle Cerulean]

DinoSteve wrote...

tbf you would imagine armour made for a woman would have room for breasts, otherwise it would get very tight and sweaty......

nevermind

You've clearly never touched a pair of ****** if you don't realize how much they can compact.  You don't need specially hammered cups to individually cradle them like fragile little eggs.  If any portion of the human anatomy needs that treatment, it'd be a portion attached to males.  Should we start designing armour with lovingly detailed and individually articulated ball cups?

By the way, if you're wearing armour into battle, you're getting sweaty anyways, because you're going into ****ing battle.

A lot of traditional plate armour for men has slightly domed (singly dome, in the center) for protective reasons.  A woman's breasts will fit under that just fine, no alterations necessary.

[brushyourteeth]

SgtElias wrote...

MrFlipFlops wrote...

You can get enough space for all your favourite lady-features with a convex plate. There is no need to separate each breast into its own little compartment.

I was wondering about this, actually. I'm not familiar with armor on the whole, but I always wondered how armor made for somelike like me (who is rather busty) would look, as opposed to the two pictures posted above.

Because unless armor fits one's body very differently than I'm imagining, I can imagine trying to squeeze into plate made for a man would be . . . rather uncomfortable.

Still, I agree with you; I don't think each breast needs its own compartment. That also seems . . . potentially painful.

And impractical. How would you get them placed into position *just so*? Plate armor doesn't have the give required to do the ol' lift and tuck.   Not to mention that once a month it would fit a little too snuggly.

[sandalisthemaker]

 Boob plate armor was created to pander to straight males. Nothing more. 

[Plaintiff]

The women of Dragon Age are actually comprised entirely of diamond. When they put on a piece of armor, their impossibly firm breasts just force it into that shape.

[SgtElias]

brushyourteeth wrote...

And impractical. How would you get them placed into position *just so*? Plate armor doesn't have the give required to do the ol' lift and tuck.   Not to mention that once a month it would fit a little too snuggly.

Was trying not to think of the process of trying to . . . squeeze them into their little holders.

[brushyourteeth]

Plaintiff wrote...

The women of Dragon Age are actually comprised entirely of diamond. When they put on a piece of armor, their impossibly firm breasts just force it into that shape.

Aaaaah.... I always did think my DA:O lady lumps looked a little too... solid. Thanks for clearing that up. 

[brushyourteeth]

SgtElias wrote...

brushyourteeth wrote...

And impractical. How would you get them placed into position *just so*? Plate armor doesn't have the give required to do the ol' lift and tuck.   Not to mention that once a month it would fit a little too snuggly.

Was trying not to think of the process of trying to . . . squeeze them into their little holders.

Have a friend hold it open for you while you run and jump?  *shudders*