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[themikefest]

Lets continue Cruella Shepard's drug crazed playthrough

 

We land on Noveria. What a friendly bunch? Now there's someone who looks normal. Gianna Parasini. I like to sini her Parasini. She asks for me to help her out. I agree only if she can get me a couple cases of booze and more dope for me. She'll do what she can. Me, Pinky and Blueberry help Lorik who in turn can help me. Fine. We kill some rejects. That was lame. Killing is better when I'm high. We take a moment to snort some dope and drink a bottle of Gin. Better.

 

Gianna Parasini was true to her word. She got me the booze, dope and even threw in some heroine. Nice. Gianna if you ever need anything, give me a call, I will help you out. Maybe in more ways than one.

 

We get in the Mako. Lets see. Snort, drink. Nice. What song this time? An oldie , but a goodie. Sweet Leaf. Everyone clap your hands. Excellent. Driving through the snow while smahing the flashlights is fun. That was cool. These flashlights are persistent. Sorry garbage cans. You can't hurt me while I'm getting my buzz on.

 

Now in the building. What the ****? Bugs. Time out. No one said I would have to fight bugs on this mission. Fine. You want to play hardball. I can play to. Me. Blueberry and Pinky change our footwear to wearing bug stompers. Smash. Stomps. Squish. I think next time we'll just use flamethrowers. This is really messy.  We snort some more and have a couple drinks. And we run into whatever.

Benezia: Who are you?

Cruella: We're the fashion police come to kill you for wearing that crap on your head

Benezia: Are you a part of this Liara?

Blueberry: My name is Blueberry and I'm here to kill you for the crimes you've committed against fashion

Benezia: What? What have you done to my daughter?

Cruella: I've shown her the light. She is embracing the evil that dwells within her. I'm helping her release that evil.

Benezia: You monster. Have you ever seen an Asari Commando unit before? Few humans have.

Cruella: I'm sure once your dead, I will know why. So. Let me ask you something sh*t for brains. Have you ever seen a Human Commado unit before? Few Asari's have.

 

We fight her "Commandos" and some machines. Like that was going to stop me. Some people never learn

 

Cruella: Blueberry. Use this to cut her head off

Benezia: What? Liara you wouldn't. You're a monster Commander. It appears you might be a greater threat to the galaxy then Saren is.

Cruella: Maybe so, but you will never know. Blueberry. Kill her now.

Benezia: Liara. Noooooooo---

Blueberry: That felt good.

Cruella: Chopping off your mother's head solves everything.

Blueberry: I know that now. Thank you Commander.

Cruella: You have one last thing that you must complete before joining the Cult of Shepard. Kill the Queen.

Blueberry: Yes. Of course. Ok.....done.

Cruella: Excellent. When we get back to the ship you will recieve your pitchfork and get a tattoo with the number 666. You will finally meet my lord and master.

Blueberry: Who is your master?

Cruella: Satan

[Farangbaa]

Anhur's exploits from yesterday:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SilJeff]

Those huge walls of pictures make these pages take forever to load

[Farangbaa]

Those huge walls of pictures make these pages take forever to load

 

Eh... they are jpgs, so unless you're on an ancient connection it shouldn't really be a problem

[Farangbaa]

 

 

 

 

 

Anhur let the civilians die; he will not be played by Petrovsky.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Petrovsky was deemed to valueable to give up. Aria was not amused.

[von uber]

Those huge walls of pictures make these pages take forever to load

It's excella and the .pngs. God knows why they don't just use .jpgs like psycho and myself.

[Farangbaa]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Javik saved by a synthetic, I couldn't help but lol)

 

 

 

Anhur guesses Wrex was right a while back on Tuchanka: the Normandy's just a freak show.

[SporkFu]

 

(Javik saved by a synthetic, I couldn't help but lol)

Legion saved Javik in my game too. Made me wonder if Javik was thinking, just for a second, of shooting Legion and telling it to leave him alone. Then Legion could have said, "Your trajectory will take you through the dreadnought's airlock."

 

Oh the irony. 

[themikefest]

Legion saved Javik in my game too. Made me wonder if Javik was thinking, just for a second, of shooting Legion and telling it to leave him alone. Then Legion could have said, "Your trajectory will take you through the dreadnought's airlock."

 

Oh the irony. 

Since Javik doesn't need a helmet, he would just float around in space till someone found him

[themikefest]

Cruella Shepard

 

Back at the Citadel, they lock the Normandy down. Idiots. Fine. Me, Pinky and Blueberry go to Flux to unwind. We hire a bunch of strippers to dance for us while we drink. Anderson comes by to tell me he can unlock the Normandy so I can get to Ilos. Ok. Before that we picked up some more dope and booze.

 

Now that were on Ilos we have to fine a way to open the door. Here come the tin cans. I bet I could build a nice skycar with all the scrap we leave behind. Good. The door is open. Now lets catch up to dipsh*t. We each take a snort and a drink and I pop in this song The Number of the Beast. Crank it up. Watch out machine, here comes Cruella the Destroyer. Smash. Bang. Smack. I don't think life can get any better than this. Ok. Whats going on? We get out to see a damged Vi calling it self Vigil

Vigil: You are here to stop the dipsh*t that came by earlier?

Cruella: Yes. Can you help me?

Vigil: I can, but first you much understand why the hands to what they do. The Citadel is a mass relay. The hands purpose is too steal all the hand lotion of the galaxy. They're trying to find something that will make their hands smooth. Each civilization has been destroyed just for their hand lotion and none have been able to stop the hands.

Cruella: Are the hands part of something bigger?

Vigil: Unknown. What does it matter? They must be destroyed. There is a data file in my console that will help you when you get to the Citadel. Head down the road and take the next 2 lefts and you will see a mini-me relay that leads to the Citadel

Cruella: Any idea how to stop Sovereign?

Vigil: It doesn't like dirty fingernails? If you could somehow fire dirt into the nail, it should stop it.

 

We get back to the Mako and have a drink and snort some more dope. What song to listen to now? How about this ine? Stairway to Heaven I know I won't be going there. I would catch on fire. Haha

 

Wow. A lot of machines we see. Blueberry finally uses the cannon to fire at them. She's having a lot of fun. Nice. Killed 4 at once. How many points for that? You know, if these machines like getting hit, they could get a job as crash-test-dummies. Ha. I made a funny. I crack myself up sometimes. There's the mini-me relay. Hold on folks. Zooooom.

 

Alright ladies. Snort as much dope as you can handle and drink as much booze as you can handle. Looks like it might be awhile before we can get another buzz. Yes. What a rush. Lets go. Shoot. Shoot some more. Good. Blueberry helping the machines by lifting them up. What? Krogan? Damn. Fine. Pinky takes care of them. You know. The next time I do this I will have a walkman to listen to my music.

 

There he is. The dipsh*t. How about shutting up? That's right mofo. Who's your daddy? Ok. He's dead.

Joker: We can save the Ascension Commander

Cruella: What do you think Blueberry?

Blueberry: Kill them

Pinky: Yeah. Kill them

Cruella: Kill them. Have the fleets attack the destiny Ascension and then go after the giant hand

Joker: Roger that Commander

 

Well, well, well. Dipsh*t is now a grasshopper. Now that's cool. I need to ask him who his drug dealer is. Enough. We kill hoppie.

 

Who should be the councilor?

Eeny, meeny, miny mo

catch a dirtbag by the toe

if he hollers kill him

eeny, meeny miny mo

 

Udina.

 

You do what you want. Me. I need a drink and some dope. See ya later

 

Summary of playthrough

 

nearly 2 million credits was spent on dope

over 300 000 credits were spent on booze

Kaidan aka Elvis was a party pooper so he died on Virmire

Wrex aka Redeye was killed on Virmire by Pinky aka Ashley because he was being a pain

Tali aka Faceless remains with me on the SR1

Liara aka Blueberry remains with me on the SR1

Ashley aka Pinky, remains with me  on the SR1

 

Finished at level 33

[Excella Gionne]

Converted these images to JPEG. I need to find a better efficient way or this will take a long time. I wonder if there is something in the coalesce that I can mess around with so that the images are saved as JPEGs and BMPs. Maybe you can put your knife away.

 

Here comes the destroyer of worlds and stories!!! I haven't picked an ending yet...

[sH0tgUn jUliA]

Nadia finished the rescue of Primarch Victus, and then she went back to the Citadel. EDI emerged from the AI Core in Dr. Eva's platform. All the exterior flesh had been burned off. Well it's best not to p*** off the ship. Samantha told her about the students at Grissom academy. Javik was amazed that Asari finally mastered writing. She and Liara decided to pick up where they left off. When they docked at the Citadel she decided to head up to see how Kaidan was doing, and she ran into Thane. Thane!

 

OMG! It was good to see him again. Oh hell, a make out session wouldn't hurt things, right? Of course not. Then it appears Kaidan was doing better, and I gave him a bottle of Peruvian Whiskey. Udina wants him to become a Spectre.

 

Then I headed down to Purgatory and had a drink with James, and then I talked to Aria. Then went to the Presidium and picked up support from the Bloodpack, and spoke with Liara. Liara told me to talk to Barla Von. Why she couldn't have told me about the broker ops herself I don't know, but I guess Barla needs to feel important. Then I spoke with EDI who asked me some creepy questions about relationships and Joker. Again, I guess it's best not to p*** off the ship. She knows I've had first hand experience... yeah, Thane. She probably listened to the whole thing before the suicide mission and took notes and analyzed all the chemical compounds. Thane being drell must have really confused her. Then I did some shopping and went back to the Normandy. It's off to Grissom Academy to rescue the kids.

[SilJeff]

Eh... they are jpgs, so unless you're on an ancient connection it shouldn't really be a problem

 

I was on a cell phone at the time, and there's only 2 bars of service in the stupid town I live in (thankfully, it is a town too small to be hit directly by a Reaper invasion)

[SporkFu]

Found a savegame to import on masseffectsaves, so I started a new game of ME2: femshep soldier, no romance (planning on Samara), looks pretty evenly split between paragon and renegade, although it looks like most of the quests in the savegame details were solved in a paragon way. Ash is the VS, Wrex is also a VS. Conrad lives. I sure hope the originator of this savegame picked up the Elkoss Combine license, or I'll be upset. Saved the council. 

 

Planning out my suicide mission results, and I think I've got it figured out so that I can have everyone loyal and still leave a few people behind. I want to get Legion as quick as possible too, and take him on some missions. It means I'll lose the crew, but s*** happens. 

 

So this is what I have planned: 

 

No armor upgrade >>> Jack dies. 

No weapon upgrade >>> Thane dies.

 

Vent specialist: Jacob. First fireteam leader: Zaeed >>> Jacob dies. 

 

Biotic specialist: Samara >>> no deaths. Second fireteam leader: Zaeed >>> Zaeed dies. 

Crew escort (what crew? Ha) : None >>> Chakwas dies (?) 

 

Then, if I take Grunt and Samara with me to face the proto-reaper, and leave Kasumi, Miranda, Mordin, Tali, Garrus, and Legion to hold the line, should mean that Mordin dies. 

[Excella Gionne]

Found a savegame to import on masseffectsaves, so I started a new game of ME2: femshep soldier, no romance (planning on Samara), looks pretty evenly split between paragon and renegade, although it looks like most of the quests in the savegame details were solved in a paragon way. Ash is the VS, Wrex is also a VS. Conrad lives. I sure hope the originator of this savegame picked up the Elkoss Combine license, or I'll be upset. Saved the council. 

 

Planning out my suicide mission results, and I think I've got it figured out so that I can have everyone loyal and still leave a few people behind. I want to get Legion as quick as possible too, and take him on some missions. It means I'll lose the crew, but s*** happens. 

 

So this is what I have planned: 

 

No armor upgrade >>> Jack dies. 

No weapon upgrade >>> Thane dies.

 

Vent specialist: Jacob. First fireteam leader: Zaeed >>> Jacob dies. 

 

Biotic specialist: Samara >>> no deaths. Second fireteam leader: Zaeed >>> Zaeed dies. 

Crew escort (what crew? Ha) : None >>> Chakwas dies (?) 

 

Then, if I take Grunt and Samara with me to face the proto-reaper, and leave Kasumi, Miranda, Mordin, Tali, Garrus, and Legion to hold the line, should mean that Mordin dies. 

Well, at least two people might die once you make those squadmates hold the line. Tali and Mordin being the most vulnerable.

 

No escort means, everyone who was captured dies(that's about every non-squad crew).

[SporkFu]

Well, at least two people might die once you make those squadmates hold the line. Tali and Mordin being the most vulnerable.

 

No escort means, everyone who was captured dies(that's about every non-squad crew).

Well, looking at that big chart, from the suicide mission guide in the ME2 forum, I'll have six teammates holding the line, with an average score of 1.83; should mean I only lose Mordin, but if Tali dies too... well, won't be the first time heh, even though I don't want her to die. 

 

EDIT: I wasn't sure about Chakwas, thanks. She can make it back to the ship on her own can't she?   ... if not, I'll blame Joker's lack of providing-cover-fire skills. I want to recruit Dr. Michel in ME3 anyway, but with Chakwas dead, at least I won't have to see that hurt expression she gives shep when she walks away after being turned down. 

[Farangbaa]

If you're going to do missions before the SM I think Chakwas dies regardless.
You could achieve all those death without skipping on upgrades. (which would be my preferred way of going)

Biotic Specialist --> Miranda or w/e, as long as it isn't Jack or Samara, take Thane with you on the long walk. Thane dies.
Don't do Jack's LM and have her escort the crew. Keep the rest the same.

[SporkFu]

If you're going to do missions before the SM I think Chakwas dies regardless.
You could achieve all those death without skipping on upgrades. (which would be my preferred way of going)

Biotic Specialist --> Miranda or w/e, as long as it isn't Jack or Samara, take Thane with you on the long walk. Thane dies.
Don't do Jack's LM and have her escort the crew. Keep the rest the same.

I thought about that, but I've never not upgraded the Normandy before. 

 

Plus, Miranda would have to be the biotic specialist because she's the only one left, if I can't have Thane, Samara, or Jack do it. Miranda did the bubble the last time I had some crewmembers die... so it's like been there, done that. 

 

If I do more than three missions after opening the Omega-4 relay, all the crew except Chakwas dies, and if Jack escorts her back to the Normandy, then the doc will live.  

[Farangbaa]

Ah ok.

I feel so retarded when I don't buy all the upgrades though 

 

Shepard: "Hmm, fighting a pretty much unkown enemy of which we know it has great firepower that can rip throught my ship in a single go. Should we upgrade? SCREW THAT, I'M A THRILLSEEKER"

[SporkFu]

Ah ok.

I feel so retarded when I don't buy all the upgrades though 

 

Shepard: "Hmm, fighting a pretty much unkown enemy of which we know it has great firepower that can rip throught my ship in a single go. Should we upgrade? SCREW THAT, I'M A THRILLSEEKER"

I'm just going to pretend I dunno anything about those upgrades. I don't want to talk to Jacob any more than I have to anyway, and Garrus' obsession with the Normandy's forward cannon is a little creepy, so I just won't even bring it up. 

[Farangbaa]

Doing their LM automatically unlocks the upgrade, it's impossible for your Shepard not to know about it. (you can headcanon it though, sure )

[SporkFu]

Oh. I didn't know that, I thought you had to ask them about it in conversation. Oh well, like I said, I've always fully upgraded the ship in the past, and so never got to see anyone die on the approach to the base before. 

[Farangbaa]

Oh. I didn't know that, I thought you had to ask them about it. 

 

Well, you don't . My last playthrough was the first time in forever I used the investigate options to unlock them, I normally just do their LM and buy it afterwards. But this time I cheated myself into a **** tonne of money and minerals so I just bought everything as soon as it was available

[SporkFu]

I've always asked everyone about their upgrade ideas in the past, even when i couldn't afford to research them, so shep can't claim ignorance there. That's why I didn't know about the LM unlock. Dumb idea. 

[Excella Gionne]

Picked Destroy since I didn't know what the heck I wanted. FRAPS makes my eyes water. It's so terrible!