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[cap and gown]

Yeah, but I'm playing this on my 360 so I can put up my feet and sit on my couch. When I get around to Darya's misadventure on the PC, I'll simply edit the war assets and make Diana Allers worth 10,000 war assets and I think that'll take care of the entire thing. Hey that gets rid of scanning altogether, finding the artifacts, and all those fetch quests that don't matter anyway.

 

Should do a screen shot of the war assets showing Allers at 5, then romance Allers and then when that's locked in have it go up to 10,000.

 

Since I have something like 4000 in war assets from MP, that is hardly why I go planet scanning. What interests me is the money and research upgrades.

[cap and gown]

N7 Spec Ops Asset at: 3,075

 

Who needs ME3 to win Earth back?

 

That high? My N7 score is about 1000 higher than yours, yet I am pretty sure I have about 4000 in N7 special ops assets. Maybe I should go check.

[sH0tgUn jUliA]

Nadia...

 

Well after I destroyed the geth dreadnought I took a side trip to Omega to help out my good friend Aria. She seemed to be a bit upset about Cerberus booting her off her throne, and she promised me eezo, and some more assets if I helped her. So I did. I'm not big on frontal assaults except in certain cases. Petrovsky running the station and making adjutants and controlling them was just sick. So it was time to end him. We ran into a friend of Aria's, Nyreen Kandlos. Too bad some of Aria's hard edge didn't rub off on Nyreen.

 

We made our way through the station. I shut down the reactor because I couldn't take any chances. Nyreen blew herself up. Aria went at Petrovsky crazy and got caught in a field. Then after I freed Aria, Petrovsky surrendered. I let Aria finish the job. Don't f*ck with Omega.

[CaIIisto]

Have to admit, of all the DLC, Omega is probably the one that's grown on me most.

[Excella Gionne]

That high? My N7 score is about 1000 higher than yours, yet I am pretty sure I have about 4000 in N7 special ops assets. Maybe I should go check.

I don't promote much. It takes me forever to get back to level 20.

[SporkFu]

Once upon a time, there were three beautiful ladies who lived in interesting times, and they each had many hazardous adventures.

 

shep: First human spectre. Final score -- shep: 310438. Batarians: 0. 

 

Sam: Wants to rock and roll all night, and party every day.

 

Jack: An enigma, both an exhibitionist and a never-nude.

 

But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me. My name is TIM...

 

Tonight's Special Two-Hour Episode: Lair of the Shadow Broker

Starring:

 

Liara T'Soni: Denies ever headbutting anyone. Secretly enjoys it. Thinks no one knows.   

 

Feron: Auto-erotic electricity fetishist. Liara's late-night booty call. 

 

Tela Vasir: Once used spectre status to get out of 3712 unpaid speeding tickets spanning 150 years. 

 

The Shadow Broker: aka The Big Ugly. Eats everyone he comes into contact with. 

 

Our story begins at the Hotel Azure on Ilium, where Sam had talked shep into taking a much-deserved weekend off. They were just deciding which club to hit first when the call came in. Liara. She needed their help with the kind of problem the angels were good at solving. Since Miri was off 'conferencing' with TIM, Sam invited Jack to join them this time. A heavy rain falls on Ilium tonight. There's a storm brewing...

 

Liara *now on the speakerphone* : I think it's time I told you what's going on.

Sam: Does it involve infiltrating nightclubs in sexy evening wear? 

Liara: I'm afraid not. 

Sam *making eye contact with shep* : Too bad. 

shep: Uhh... I'm sure there will be time afterwards. 

Liara: If you two are finished...

Sam: Mmm... just getting started, dear. 

shep: You really do like Ilium don't you? 

Sam: There is amazing energy here.

Jack *bursts through the door, slams it shut behind her, orders the hotel VI to darken all the windows, goes back to the door and peers through the peephole for pursuit* 

Sam: Hiya Jack. Having fun?

shep: Hey. You're late.

Jack: shep? F*ck you. Sam? Thanks for asking. 

Liara: IthinkIfoundtheshadowbrokerandhekidnappedmyfriendFeroncanyoucometomyapartment?

Jack: Whoa. 

Sam: Whoa.

shep: She does that when she thinks no one is listening to her. It's not pretty. 

Jack: Sh*t, imagine her and Mordin in the same room together.

shep: We'd better go hear her out. 

Sam: Coming with us, Jack? We're going to start some trouble. 

Jack: Does it involve violence and destruction of property? 

shep: I have no doubt.

Jack: We're going nightclubbing again, aren't we? 

Sam: I like you. 

 

Liara told the angels that her friend Feron had double-crossed the Broker once, to help her, and now he was being held captive on the broker's ship. She had intel revealing the location of that ship, so all they had to do was get in, get Feron and get out again. When they arrived at Liara's apartment, however, they discovered that someone, likely a shadow-broker agent, had tried to assassinate Liara. Tela Vasir, another spectre, was already on the scene and it gave shep an uneasy feeling. She remembered the other spectres she'd had dealings with, and how well those encounters had turned out. On the plus side, Vasir wasn't a turian. shep found a coded message which told of a meeting with a salarian at the Baria Frontiers building. That's where Liara would be if she was still alive. Vasir insisted on joining them and, on the way, she spotted this:

 

 

shep: So... anything you want to tell us, Jack? 

Jack: *ducks lower in the seat* No.

Sam: C'mon Jack. *winks* Ve haff vays of making you talk...

Jack: Fine. The hanar have a warrant out for me. 

shep: The hanar.

Jack: I may have vandalized some property on Kahje. 

shep: But... the hanar?

Jack: Look. Just take take my word for it. Mindfish and flying don't mix.

 

As soon as they touched down in front of Baria Frontiers, the building exploded. Surprisingly not Jack's fault, as they soon discovered. Sam's idea for her to start at the top while the angels start at the bottom and everyone meet in the middle got shep a little flustered, and got her thinking that maybe there was something to the 'energy' on Ilium after all. But it was a good plan, and Vasir jumped back into the skycar and headed for the roof. Inside the building the angels fought dozens of mercs. Jack didn't stop to wonder whether throwing shockwaves everywhere was a good idea in a building that just exploded, but then she never really stopped to consider things when the fighting started. That's why TIM recruited her. 

 

When they got to the upper floors, Vasir revealed herself as the one behind the failed attempts on Liara's life. She knew she was no match for the angels' awesomeness and made a run for it. From their vantage point the angels spotted a group of hanar milling about their skycar, and they all decided it'd be better if Jack went back to the Normandy to wait this out. After a thrilling high-speed car chase through the city, they caught up to Vasir outside The Azure, and she crashed her car into shep and Sam's hotel room. A tense, but brief, hostage negotiation and a not-so-brief battle afterwards, and Vasir was dead. 

 

The angels had a huge fight on their hands getting into the Broker's ship and locating Feron, but once they did...

 

shep: Uhh, Liara, he looks pretty comfortable for a captive.

 

Liara: he does, doesn't he?

 

Feron: Liara? Oh, hi!

 

Liara: I'll explain later. 

Sam: How do we not have one of those on the Normandy?

shep *rolls eyes*

 

All that was left was the shadow broker himself.

 

shep: Boom.

Sam: Headshot.

Liara: I think I'll keep this ship.

Sam *dragging shep to the exit* : Can we get out of here now? The weekend's not over.

shep: Liara, was good to see you again.

Liara: Thanks for the help, angels. I'll be in touch. 

[themikefest]

Michelle Shepard

 

She was successful where her sister, Cruella, wasn't. She got the right number of assets for the minerals she mined. I posted what I discovered about the minerals in the I discovered thread earlier today. Later on, Michelle will go see her sister and talk sh*t to her. If you want to know how mad Cruella will be, look out your telescope, if you have one, tonight, and she will blow up a planet somewhere in the galaxy venting her anger. 

 

Now onto ME3

 

Harbinger: Capital ship #1. Report

Capital ship #1: We have started our harvest of Earth with very little resistance. Any further instructions.

Harbinger: Currently Shepard is following one of my indoctrinated servants that will lead her to her ship, The Normandy. I have dispatched a new destroyer to take care of her. Its the Assassin class reaper. I need you to observe the results

Capital ship #1: Yes sir. I do see her and the Assassin reaper nearby and closing. I will inform you when Shepard is dead.

Harbinger: Good.

 

Man ol' man these whatever they are, are really ugly. So it will be a few moments before the Normandy gets here.  Anderson and I take care of the uglies. There's the Normandy. Anderson wants to stay and fight while I go get help. Ok. What's this? Oh crap. The reaper just blew up the shuttles. Lets get outta here.

 

Capital Ship #1: Harbinger. Boss. The Assassin reaper failed. It destroyed 2 shuttles, but for some reason did not fire on the Normandy letting it get away.

Harbinger: Tell the Assassin to report back to me immediately. I will assume direct control.

Capital ship #1: Yes sir.

Harbinger: Destroyer #1354. I need you and your squad to leave your current posting and go to Mars to kill Shepard. Use whatever means are necessary. Destroy the planet if you have to. Make sure Shepard is dead.

Destroyer #1354: By your command Mr. Harbinger.

 

What the he**? Why didn't Vega park the shuttle by the front door? Where's Steve Cortez when you need him? We fight what looks to be Cerberus soldiers. What is going on? And now I have Ashley asking me questions. We meet Liara who says she found plans for a weapon to stop the reapers. Really? How convienent. I send James back to the shuttle while I go get these plans. These Cerberus soldiers need better training. Fancy weapons and armor doesn't make you good in combat. Losers. Look who it is?

 

Spoiler

     

 

We run after the Cerberus operative with the data. What the..? It's a robot? And seriously injured Ashley. Die robot, die. BANG. BANG.

 

Destroyer #1354: The Normandy has just left. Would you like for us to pursue Mr. Harbinger?

Harbinger: No. Destroy anything on the planet and go back to your other duties.

Destroyer #1354: Yes Mr. Harbinger.

Assassin Reaper: You wanted to see me Mr Harbinger, sir.

Harbinger: Yes. Because of your failure to kill Shepard you have been designated to be repurposed. You are hereby, as of now, to report back to our station in dark space where you will be given further instructions. You will not fail me again.

Assassin Reaper: Yes Mr. Harbinger.

 

We get to the Citadel with Ashley taken to the hospital. Meet with the council with no results.

 

Back on the ship I have a dream about sitting on my lawn chair at the beach while listening to some Pink Floyd. Excellent. Who's knocking on my door? Its Liara telling me about the Turian councilor. No kidding. Tell me something I don't know. WOW. Who's this good looking fox. And the voice.

 

Traynor: Commander. I'm Samantha Traynor.

Michelle: ahh...ahh.. yes. Good to meet you.

Traynor. Is something wrong Commander?

Michelle: Nothing's wrong specialist. You just made my heart skip a beat and made my ears tingle with your voice.

Traynor: Yes. Ahh..that..ahem. I want to tell you about the retrofits Commander

Michelle: You can tell me anything.

Traynor: Oh boy. I'll just leave and let you know Admiral Hackett wants to speak with you.

 

I walk around the ship and talk with everyone. Its good to have Adams in Engineering. Met my shuttle pilot, Steve Cortez, good guy. James Vega wants to fight. I put him in his place.

 

Now to face Specialist Traynor. I don't want to get tongue tied again. She works in R & D. Very smart and talks about her 6000 credit toothbrush. I'll buy her one to keep looking at her nice smile.

 

We head to Palaven's moon, Menae. Meet up with Garrus, who leads us to the new Primarch.  Fight a lot of uglies even some that are really ugly. Finally reach Victus location and tell him he's the new Primarch. He mentions he will help if I can get the Krogan to help his people on Palaven. What next? We head back to the Normandy.

[Daemul]

Jesus, I've finally gotten around to doing my Femshep playthrough, and whilst looking over her straight romance options, I realised just how poor they were.

 

First up is Kaidan. He's a calm and level headed guy, the sort of dude I would want my daughter to marry, but god he can be dull.

Then there's Jacob.... Nothing needs to be said.

Then we have a bird and a lizard. Garrus and Thane, I love you guys, but I can't get over the way you guys look. 

 

If I want to give my Femshep a romance, I have to choose between Kaidull, someone who eventually cheats on her, a couple of dudes who look like animals or making her a lesbian. Bioware, you're not really giving me much of a choice here. 

[CaIIisto]

Went to check out some missing Krogan Scouts, turned into a bug hunt....

 

 

Tank-boy was around to lend a hand when things got sticky;

 

 

As per usual, Grunt went all Michael Douglas/Falling Down on the Rachni....

 

 

So not for the first time, and probably not the last, guess who ended up dragging Grunt's bloody, sorry @ss home;

 

 

Went to Benning. Rescued some colonists, retrieved some dog-tags, and dished out some Cerberus punishment;

 

 

Seriously, this guy never even saw it coming (man I love biotic powers!).....

 

 

Went back to the Citadel and watched some spaceships with Cortez. And some folks consider Cortez dull......

 

 

Finally, went to Tuchanka to check out some Cerberus presence, and took control of some Krogan canons - but only after handing out some life-lessons. This guy had never seen The Untouchables, but now he knows that Gun>>>>>Blade, stick, or whatever the f*ck that is in his hand.... 

 

[justafan]

John Shepard

Colonist/War Hero

 

So "Insanity" difficulty is finally starting to live up to its name.

 

Having fond memories of the way Wrex wrecked whatever he wanted, John decided it was well past time to recruit another Krogan warlord.  Upon landing, John was treated to the sight of an ENORMOUS Quarian ship flying overhead.  Pretty impressive scenery, but I got a Krogan to find.  Unfortunately, John found Plenty of Krogan.  Turns out a Blue Suns branch is trying to breed an army of the lizards, because that worked out so well for Saren.  Unfortunately, this Jedore doesn't seem the type to shoot herself for me, but it makes no difference.  The Blue Suns put up a valiant defense at the end (causing several reloads) but John got through, and met Rana Thanoptis again, completing his Virmire flashback.  He let her go, but started to think letting her go may have just endangered the galaxy more than it was worth.  Okeer turns out to be a mad scientist of sorts, trying to overcome the genophage rather than cure it.  But before we can get to know him, Jedore needs killing and gasses the room.  Luckily, Okeer's legacy remained intact.  Shepard is fascinated by the prospect of a "pure" Krogan, but there is no time to check him out now, as there is an urgent call from the Illusive Man.

 

So it looks like the Collectors have chosen to target Horizon, and we have a chance to intercept them.  Knowing what it is like to lose everything on the frontier, the Collectors have made it personal by attacking innocent colonists.  Zaeed and Miranda's skills are well suited for this mission.  The Collectors' barriers fall easily enough to the combined powers of Shepard's reave and Miri's warp.  Zaeed then finishes them and the armored husks off with his grenades.  It was a slog, but not even Harbinger could stop Shepard and the gang.  That was until the Scions started showing up.  Good Lord, these guys are annoying (and ugly too).  The alone scion took forever to riddle down, but then near the main guns there were two!  Shepard got a good deal of cardio exercise running around in circles avoiding the dual shockwaves.

 

Then came the waves of Collectors while the lasers powered up.  Was there nowhere to bunker down?!  but after several alternate universes in which John died a horrible and grisly death, he was able to get the guns working and pwn a praetorian.  And then, just to add icing on the cake, his old love flame Ashley shows up.  Now all John has to do is keep it cool.

 

Shepard's mind: "OK, Shep, it may only seem like last week, but remember, you've been gone for two years, don't screw this up..."

45 seconds later.... "Craaaap"

 

Later on the Normandy

"I can't believe it, Ashley, my one true love, the woman who brought out my inner paramour, dumps me just like that because I'm working with Cerberus...  Wait a tick!  That means I'm single again!  Yea Baby Yea!!!"

[FairfaxGal]

Michelle Shepard took another night off as I explored MP again. This time I wasn't quite as horrible. Except for when I apparently got into a Silver game. That was ugly. Sorry to my squadmates on that one. I'll not make that mistake again for awhile.

 

My human infiltrator got to Level 19 and I got to 100% on the readiness levels. Yay! I hope Michelle continues to appreciate her increased assets. Back to single player this weekend.

[themikefest]

Michelle Shepard

 

Head back to the Citadel. Help Jondam Bau and meet with Kasumi. She wants to bang Jacob. More power for her. Stop an indoctrinated jellyfish, saved the Hanar homeworld and saved Bau from being killed. Next.

 

Talk with Ashley. She still looks like a giant bruise. Looking forward to having her back on the ship.

 

Talk with Aria who wants to help me. Ok. I get some war assets from the Blood pack, Blue Suns and Eclipse.

 

Purchase some upgrades for my weapons. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find a toothbrush for Traynor.

 

Time to meet with the Diplomats

[Excella Gionne]

Went to Sanctuary to get some food, 'cause apparently no one's COOKING! Screw you, Alliance!

 

[Excella Gionne]

[Excella Gionne]

Biotically probing a Brute... :-/ It just happened so fast...

[Excella Gionne]

Started the Citadel DLC after Sanctuary which I hardly do. I usually start it during the Rannoch arc, but at least I have some missions to do after the Citadel arc to unlock other conversations and meet ups.

[Excella Gionne]

[Excella Gionne]

[CaIIisto]

I think I just blew today's quota of likes in one go!

[Excella Gionne]

I think I just blew today's quota of likes in one go!

That was pretty fast. I haven't had that in awhile.

[CaIIisto]

That was pretty fast. I haven't had that in awhile.

I'm sure I have a few left, but I'll have to ration them......!

[birefringent]

[in it for the lolz]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I like this human, she undrstands!

[themikefest]

Michelle Shepard

 

Harbinger: Report Destroyer #4567.

destroyer #4567: Yes sir, Mr.Harbinger. Landed on Tuchanka a short time ago and currently using the shroud to comtaminate the atmosphere. There has been almost no resistance since I've arrived.

Harbinger: Good work. Keep me updated. Destroyer #32888. What do have to report?

destroyer #32888: I have landed on Rannoch and made an offer to the Geth. They accepted and are under my control. Do have any orders sir?

Harbinger: Good. Squeeze more out of the Geth. I want the Quarians defeated.

destroyer #32888: As you command sir.

Harbinger: Capital ship #69. What is you status?

Capital ship #69: We are currently finishing up with Khar'shan. Do you have any further instructions.

Harbinger: Very good. Take all heavy units to the Athena Nebula and start your assault. Leave behind a couple of platoons with the cleanup on Khar'shan and when done have them join you.

Capital ship #69: It will be done boss.

 

I meet with the Dalatross, Wreav, the leader of the Krogan and Victus. In order for the Krogan to help, the genophage has to be cured. Fine. I will let him believe I will cure it. So we head to Sur'Kesh to get the feamle Krogan.

 

I talk with Major Kirrahe who I last saw on Virmire. I liked his speech. HOLD THE LINE. Good guy. Garrus, James and I head down and see Mordin. Good to see him. What's going on? Someone is attacking the base. Fine. Its the Mickey Mouse Club. I'll just grab them by the ears and toss them aside. If they really want to play soldier, they may want to get some training. Idiots. And look at this. A giant mech with a little Mousekeeteer driving it. That is so cute. Sorry clown. Your a deadeteer. Back to the Normandy we go

 

Hackett: Were going to call this weapon, Crucible.

Michelle: I like to use it as a ray gun to shrink the reapers to little toys for kids

Hackett: WHAT? YOU MUST BE MAD.

Michelle: Why? Think of all the smiles we could bring to children by giving them their own reaper toy.

Hackett. It a noble goal Shepard, but the reapers need to be destroyed. I'm shocked you're even considering doing this. I must insist you drop that line of thought.

Michelle: Forget it. Without my help you will have nothing to use to build that thing. What harm could they do by shrinking them down to about 12 inchees tall?

Hackett: Ok. You got me by the balls. We'll do it your way

Michelle: Good. Keep me posted. Shepard out.

 

Traynor informs me of Grissom Academy might need help. Of all the times to meet a hot looking mama, there has to be a war going on. I'll checkout the school after I take a very cold shower.

 

Yep. The Mickey Mouse Club is at the school. These guys just don't give up. Lets see. Oh yeah. One mouse, two mouse, three mouse dead. Or should I call them mice and I'm the cat to get rid of the vermin. Lets go with that. That's Jack. Oww. What's with the punch? See if you like it. POW. Right in the kisser. Not as tough as you thought? Huh. And she is an instructor. What's next? Reapers babysitting infants? Ok. Mow down a lot of vermin and get all students safely away from anymore danger.

 

We head back to the Citadel to restock and run a few errands.

 

I meet with Ashley who is looking a lot better. She's just waiting to be released from the hospital. Like to have her back on the ship at my side.

 

On the Presidium, I convince Liara to talk with her "father"

 

On the docks I say hello to Felicia Hannigan aka Kelly Chambers

 

Now I'm talking to myself. I look good as VI. Looks like the VI needs to lose a few pounds though.

 

Its Miranda. I give her a big hug. I like her. She's been on the run for the last 6 months and now she's worried about her sister. Hopefully it works out.

 

I see Steve looking at the ships fly by. He's happy he  left the ship to get some air.

 

Back on the ship, Joker has the Normandy head for our next destination. Lets see about some missing Krogan scouts

[OPM_Lunacy]

In Mass Effect 2 on Horizon:

You have to calibrate the targeting system from the colony's defences

I didn't receive a bonus because I brought Garrus, I thought it would be calibrated faster if I brought Garrus