Once upon a time, there were three beautiful ladies who lived in interesting times, and they each had many hazardous adventures.
shep: First human spectre. Final score -- shep: 310438. Batarians: 0.
Sam: Wants to rock and roll all night, and party every day.
Jack: An enigma, both an exhibitionist and a never-nude.
But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me. My name is TIM...
Tonight's Special Two-Hour Episode: Lair of the Shadow Broker
Starring:
Liara T'Soni: Denies ever headbutting anyone. Secretly enjoys it. Thinks no one knows.
Feron: Auto-erotic electricity fetishist. Liara's late-night booty call.
Tela Vasir: Once used spectre status to get out of 3712 unpaid speeding tickets spanning 150 years.
The Shadow Broker: aka The Big Ugly. Eats everyone he comes into contact with.
Our story begins at the Hotel Azure on Ilium, where Sam had talked shep into taking a much-deserved weekend off. They were just deciding which club to hit first when the call came in. Liara. She needed their help with the kind of problem the angels were good at solving. Since Miri was off 'conferencing' with TIM, Sam invited Jack to join them this time. A heavy rain falls on Ilium tonight. There's a storm brewing...
Liara *now on the speakerphone* : I think it's time I told you what's going on.
Sam: Does it involve infiltrating nightclubs in sexy evening wear?
Liara: I'm afraid not.
Sam *making eye contact with shep* : Too bad.
shep: Uhh... I'm sure there will be time afterwards.
Liara: If you two are finished...
Sam: Mmm... just getting started, dear.
shep: You really do like Ilium don't you?
Sam: There is amazing energy here.
Jack *bursts through the door, slams it shut behind her, orders the hotel VI to darken all the windows, goes back to the door and peers through the peephole for pursuit*
Sam: Hiya Jack. Having fun?
shep: Hey. You're late.
Jack: shep? F*ck you. Sam? Thanks for asking.
Liara: IthinkIfoundtheshadowbrokerandhekidnappedmyfriendFeroncanyoucometomyapartment?
Jack: Whoa.
Sam: Whoa.
shep: She does that when she thinks no one is listening to her. It's not pretty.
Jack: Sh*t, imagine her and Mordin in the same room together.
shep: We'd better go hear her out.
Sam: Coming with us, Jack? We're going to start some trouble.
Jack: Does it involve violence and destruction of property?
shep: I have no doubt.
Jack: We're going nightclubbing again, aren't we?
Sam: I like you.
Liara told the angels that her friend Feron had double-crossed the Broker once, to help her, and now he was being held captive on the broker's ship. She had intel revealing the location of that ship, so all they had to do was get in, get Feron and get out again. When they arrived at Liara's apartment, however, they discovered that someone, likely a shadow-broker agent, had tried to assassinate Liara. Tela Vasir, another spectre, was already on the scene and it gave shep an uneasy feeling. She remembered the other spectres she'd had dealings with, and how well those encounters had turned out. On the plus side, Vasir wasn't a turian. shep found a coded message which told of a meeting with a salarian at the Baria Frontiers building. That's where Liara would be if she was still alive. Vasir insisted on joining them and, on the way, she spotted this:
shep: So... anything you want to tell us, Jack?
Jack: *ducks lower in the seat* No.
Sam: C'mon Jack. *winks* Ve haff vays of making you talk...
Jack: Fine. The hanar have a warrant out for me.
shep: The hanar.
Jack: I may have vandalized some property on Kahje.
shep: But... the hanar?
Jack: Look. Just take take my word for it. Mindfish and flying don't mix.
As soon as they touched down in front of Baria Frontiers, the building exploded. Surprisingly not Jack's fault, as they soon discovered. Sam's idea for her to start at the top while the angels start at the bottom and everyone meet in the middle got shep a little flustered, and got her thinking that maybe there was something to the 'energy' on Ilium after all. But it was a good plan, and Vasir jumped back into the skycar and headed for the roof. Inside the building the angels fought dozens of mercs. Jack didn't stop to wonder whether throwing shockwaves everywhere was a good idea in a building that just exploded, but then she never really stopped to consider things when the fighting started. That's why TIM recruited her.

When they got to the upper floors, Vasir revealed herself as the one behind the failed attempts on Liara's life. She knew she was no match for the angels' awesomeness and made a run for it. From their vantage point the angels spotted a group of hanar milling about their skycar, and they all decided it'd be better if Jack went back to the Normandy to wait this out. After a thrilling high-speed car chase through the city, they caught up to Vasir outside The Azure, and she crashed her car into shep and Sam's hotel room. A tense, but brief, hostage negotiation and a not-so-brief battle afterwards, and Vasir was dead.
The angels had a huge fight on their hands getting into the Broker's ship and locating Feron, but once they did...
shep: Uhh, Liara, he looks pretty comfortable for a captive.
Liara: he does, doesn't he?
Feron: Liara? Oh, hi!
Liara: I'll explain later.
Sam: How do we not have one of those on the Normandy?
shep *rolls eyes*
All that was left was the shadow broker himself.
shep: Boom.
Sam: Headshot.
Liara: I think I'll keep this ship.
Sam *dragging shep to the exit* : Can we get out of here now? The weekend's not over.
shep: Liara, was good to see you again.
Liara: Thanks for the help, angels. I'll be in touch.