
Tonight's star-studded season finale: All Your Base Are Destroyed By Us.
Starring:

shep: First human spectre. Ended the Skyllian Blitz just by saying, "Really? You're betting against
me ?"

Miri: Genetically perfect. Designed leather uniforms for the Usaru Maestros Biotiball team. Getting rich off the royalties.

Sam: Half samurai, half-Jedi. Throws the best parties in Asari space. Confiscated 300 crates of minagen x3 on Ilium for 'research purposes'
With special guests:

Thane Krios: Trying to bring a little light into a dark universe. Wears shades just in case it works.

Jacob Taylor: Greatest trick was proving he didn't exist. Didn't even have to try very hard.

Garrus Vakarian: Proud to top Omega's 'most wanted vigilante' hit list. Unaware he's the
only vigilante on Omega.

Jack: Wanted throughout the galaxy for several violent crimes. Out on bail because TIM. Swears she is never going back to prison. ( editor's note:

)

Mordin Solus: Kicked out of salarian STG when his caffiene addiction became problematic. Genuinely thought he was fooling everyone.

Zaeed Massani: Once survived being shot in the head. Acquaintances agree it improved his demeanor.

Grunt: Tank-bred pure krogan. Genes distilled from the greatest krogan warlords in history. Has a promising future as shep's doorman.

Legion: Claims it can knock the eye out of a bird a-flyin'. Unable to back up said claim, because its M98 Widow destroys entire bird.
Our story begins with Miri having rejoined shep and Sam on the Normandy....
TIM: Good morning angels.
Miri *stretches luxuriously*: Good morning TIM.
Sam *rises from meditations*: Morning TIM-baby.
TIM: You're in a good mood, Sam.
Sam: Yes. Miri is back with us. It's a good day to be alive.
Miri *smiles*: Don't get me wrong, boss, I had fun with you and Ori, but I missed these two.
TIM: Speaking of 'these two', where is shep?
shep *walks in*: Morning boss. Sorry I'm late. Just going over the final plans for entering the Omega-IV relay with EDI.
TIM: Happy to hear that, shep. As always you get right to the heart of things. I trust your team is ready for the assault.
shep: The team is anxious to start earning all those credits.
TIM: Good. You three know the situation, and you know I trust you to put an end to the collectors.
shep: I appreciate your faith in us, boss. We won't let you down.
TIM: You never have. Good luck, angels.
The other side of the Omega-IV relay was a massive graveyard of ships and collector drones keeping guard over them all. They attacked immediately and their weapons were too much for the even the SR-2's armor plating. They began cutting through it just like before, and the team suffered its first casualty:

One of TIM's first new angels, Jack's death hit the crew pretty hard, and shep vowed to avenge her. One of the drones boarded the ship through a hull breach in the shuttle bay.
shep: Legion, report to the shuttle bay. We have to deal with this thing.
Legion: Acknowledged.
shep: Grunt, you too. Get moving.
Grunt: Hey, my vorcha steaks are almost done. Can't we kill that thing after lunch?
shep: Dammit, Grunt. I need you in the shuttle bay... now!
Grunt: Yeah, yeah, I'm watching that thing through the window. It doesn't look so tough. Lunch first.
shep *sigh*: Okay look, you help me deal with this drone, and we'll go get some take-out... okay??
Grunt: Deal.
This is why you're the battlemaster.
shep *mutters* Damn krogan. Always have to promise them something before they'll do anything.
While Legion and shep took up positions behind cover and loaded their Widows with disruptor ammo, Grunt head-butted the port cargo bay window, smashing it into a million pieces, jumped down into the shuttle bay, charged the drone, and punted it back through the hull breach it had created.
Legion: We have reached consensus. We are in awe.
Grunt: Heh-heh-heh. Can we get something to eat now?
shep: Sure, Grunt. Let's go.
The second wave of the collector counter-attack saw the return of shep's old nemesis, the collector ship which had spaced her and then caught up with her again on Horizon.
shep: Third time is the charm. Ready, Joker? Blow that thing to bits!
Joker: Aye aye Commander... Ow, my tongue.
EDI: Your tongue does not have Vrolek's Syndrome, Jeff.
Joker: Remind me to tell you about
not sharing our intimate details with everyone sometime...
shep *rolls eyes*: Just kill that ship already.
Joker flew the Normandy straight at the Collector ship, closing range before it's beams to could do any real damage. That was the plan anyway. The Normandy did take a few hits though, and the team suffered its second casualty.

With the collector ship destoyed, the Normandy limped to its landing zone on the collector base. Shep gathered the survivors in the conference room and discussed a plan of attack. They discovered that in order to destroy the base, they would have to get to the main control centrer and overload the base's critical systems. The control center was cut off from the outside by massive locked doors that could only be opened from the inside. It was decided someone would have to crawl through the ventilation shaft to do it.
Jacob: Practically a suicide mission. I volunteer.
shep: Joker, how about you? I seem to remember you like that kind of thing.
Joker: Only EDI's vents, commander.
Sam, Miri, Grunt, Garrus, Tali, Mordin, Zaeed, Kasumi, Legion: *facepalm*
EDI: Weren't you just saying something about not sharing intimate details, Jeff?
Joker: Hey, shep sets 'em up, I knock 'em down.
Jacob *ahem*: I said I'll do it!
shep: EDI, is someone hacking into our communications?
EDI: No, commander. Firewalls are intact.
shep: Hmm. Oh well, we'll deal with that later. Okay we're going to split into two teams here. Once you guys decide on someone to go through the vents, Sam, Miri and I will take one route. Zaeed... I want you leading the rest down the other route. Just do that thing you do if you meet any opposition, okay?
Zaeed *scowls*
shep: Yeah that. You'll be fine.
Even though they couldn't see or hear anyone in the vent, the Angels fought their way through to the door, killing dozens of collectors and husks along the way. They arrived at the door to find it already open, and Zaeed's team arriving on the other side. The door was jammed, though, and they couldn't shut it behind them. The team may have suffered its third casualty at that point:

Next the seeker swarms attacked. There were too many for Mordin's counter-measure to be effective, so it was decided that Sam would create a giant biotic bubble and take shep, Miri and Legion to the central chamber and open the other door for Zaeed's team. With a quick snort of minagen x3, Sam was ready:







At the doors, the team suffered it's fourth casualty:

shep decided it was time to put an end to all this nonsense. With Zaeed gone, it was decided Garrus would lead the rest of the squad to keep the collectors off shep's back while she went to the control center and set them up the bomb.
It was then the team suffered its last casualty:

Shep took Sam and Grunt for the final battle. Even though Grunt had some misgivings...

...he knew that shep would take care of things by destroying them with big guns, and that's exactly what she did.


Mission accomplished.

Epilogue:
TIM: Congratulations, Angels, and well done.
Miri and Sam: Thank you, TIM.
shep *subdued*: Thanks, boss.
TIM: Something wrong, shep?
shep: Not everyone made it back.
TIM: I know, and I'm sorry for that. Tell you what, you've all earned a break. Why not bring everyone back to my place for some R&R?
shep: Deal. We'll be there soon.
Joker *over the comm*: Uhh, commander? Sorry to cut short the celebration, but you've got a priority message from the Admiral.
shep *to Sam and Miri* You two go on ahead, I'll catch up. See you soon, TIM.
TIM: Looking forward to it, dear shep.
Sam: Don't be long, okay?
shep: Promise... *to self* Hackett? The hell does he want?
END.