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[themikefest]

Cruella Shepard

 

Hey puppetmaster? Why do I need to talk to the crew? We'll be at Palaven shortly. I got no reason to talk with anyone. Nevermind. Look who I'm talking too. You're no fun.

 

I talk with the Traynor woman

Traynor: I forgot my toothbrush

me: What? A toothbrush? You're kidding right? All I got to say is this. http://www.youtube.c...h?v=yLmd0100T9g

Traynor: That's just mean Commander. It cost me 6000 credits

me: Really? http://www.youtube.c...h?v=yLmd0100T9g

Traynor: I'll just get back to work and talk later.

 

Ok. Lets talk with someone else. Who gave the Liara permission to put all this crap on my ship? A better question is why is she on my ship? Wouldn't she be of better use been sent to the Hackett hologram to work on the device? I get the feeling I don't want to know the answer. Lets get out of here.

 

Dr. Chakwas gives the once over. So I'm good to go.

 

Engineer Adams. What happened to Ken and Gabby? I will have to check on that

 

Its the reporter. Thats enough

 

Steve Cortez is my shuttle pilot. Nice guy. I will be nice to him so he doesn't crash the shuttle like that guy over there did.

 

Vega. He likes nick names. Here's yours. Brutus the Barber Beefcake. I'll just call him Beeber for short. So Beeber wants to fight. I'll teach him a lesson.

 

We land at Palaven's moon and right off the bat we fight husks. I learn the Primarch is killed and that we have to find some Turian named Victus. The Garrus guy wants to help. Didn't he leave C-Sec because he doesn't like rules and regualtions? I wonder if he left the military for the same reason. He did help with the collectors. For now he can help. Lets call him quitter.

 

With Beeber and quitter at my side we look for Victus. Wow. Fight some Turian looking husks and this giant whatever with a big claw. We find Victus. He wants the Krogan. Whatever. I want to leave this game, but I don't have a choice. Right puppetmaster?

 

What crap is this? The hologram is now a platform? I don't want this tin can on my ship. You feel the same way? I'll just ignore the thing. Don't get in my way you bucket of bolts

 

I talk with the Traynor woman again. She was concerned for my safety. She does care. Thats nice. I might give her a promotion. Nobody else was ever concerned about my safety. She tells me about Grissom Academy. We'll check it out when we get the opportunity.

 

We head to Eden Prime. I remember Eden Prime. I bring Beeber and Liara with me. Her nickname is now, crybaby for when she cried like a baby when we stopped the shadow broker.

 

We encounter a couple of Cerberus guys. Whats a good name for them. Lets see. How about...na. Thats too vulgar. I know. How about the monkees? That'll work.

 

Look at that. A pod containing a Prothean. We need to open it. Lets go find the password. Here comes the Monkees. If they had experience at fighting they might actually do some damage. I could say the same about a few squadmates. The monkess keep coming and I keep killing. Hey puppetmaster? When I'm killing, I'm happy.

 

The pod is open. We head back to the Normandy. I talk with the Prothean who's name is Javik. He tells how his cycle fought the reapers and why they lost. He wants to fight the reapers. Good.

 

We fly around the galaxy to collect these assets. Enough. Lets head back to the Citadel

 

I talk with Ashley. Her face is one giant sized bruise. Enough talk. I got to think of a nick name for her. How about Bruiser? It fits

 

Hello Thane. Still have to scratch my head why I recruited him since he's sick.

 

I talk with Kelly. I convinced her to change her identity. She gave me my fish. Excellent. I missed them. Hello Moby **** and Jaws. Now I'm happy.

 

I encounter Aria. All talk and no action. She gives me leads that I can use to get the merc groups to help with this war.

 

Its Kasumi. She helps me stop an indoctrinated Hanar. She misses Jacob. I don't.

 

I talk with crybaby who gives me a lead about getting more assets

 

Its Miranda. I like her figure, but what happen to the armor I gave her when we were after the collectors? She mentions her sister. What? Not this crap again. I just leave.

 

Next up will be the summit. I don't want to deal with that crap.

[birefringent]

Stop E.V.A. with Scorpion? How?! 

Oh, the good ol' tactic of spam the fire button as much and as fast as you can

 

Initially it didn't work too well because the sticky bombs tend to go right through E.V.A. You have to hit her in the right spots to get the stickies to stick. Then it's just a matter of shooting fast enough to get enough BOOM on her.

 

Some testing I've done with that part of the game:

 

The encounter is a bit strange. 3 shots from the Scorpion (lvl 5) is enough to stop her. But I really had to spam the button to get the shots fast enough on to her. But even then usually only 2 of them explode in time, and the third will do so in the cutscene as EVA falls down. I can't quite get the internal mechanics of it. Maybe the 3rd explosion does go off just in time, and then the numbers behind the scenes get applied before I actually get to see the cutscene.

 

But it's funny how 3 perfect headshots from my Black Widow cannot stop her, and then a Shuriken barrage is enough to get the job done almost instantly. Shuriken(lvl 8) is way faster than spamming my Predator.

 

I don't know, it's weird how the encounter works. But I do enjoy messing with my game. Maybe next time I should try it with an Acolyte

[von uber]

 

 

 

 

 

 

I approve of this Shep.
 

[Vazgen]

We head to Eden Prime. I remember Eden Prime.

Its Kasumi. She helps me stop an indoctrinated Hanar. She misses Jacob. I don't.

These parts made my day!

[FairfaxGal]

Well, now I know where the Reapers came from. All it took was diving almost 5,000M (I think) below the sea in a modified Atlas to talk to a giant squid-like creature who is part of the civilization that created the Reapers. Let's just say that that may not have been the best decision this civilization ever made. Not sure how much knowing this is going to help us get rid of them but at least we have a few more options. And seeing Kaidan all worried about me when I got back was sweet. He even rushed out and got me when I collapsed after coming back up. Granted that was after Leviathan turned one of the two brutes that were about to kill me but well there were two brutes and several other Reapers wandering around.

 

Earlier, we had a wonderful evening in the apartment where he cooked me dinner. Well, kinda. There was beer and I may have been distracting him just a wee bit. But it was a wonderful evening. The next day I went "shopping" with EDI. I'm pretty sure I can convince the dealership to take back that aircar she bought Joker. It's the thought that counts. It will be nice to get back to the apartment. I heard a huge number of combat tips just wandering along the strip and in the arcade. Who knew my tech armor could be so useful?

 

In fact, I used some of those tips when we were trying to get a reactor back on-line so that ships in that area could refuel. They were quite useful in fighting off brutes and marauders. Particularly marauders. Happily we got the reactor working again and killed off all the Reapers that were around. It was a good day.

 

It looks like a lot of people want to stop by and say hi the next time I am at the apartment. However, I'm not sure if I'm going to go back to the Citadel immediately or head over to Thessia to see about this secret artifact the Asari councilor told me about before we left the Citadel. I am kind of curious about what the Asari have been hiding from the rest of the galaxy for millennia. 

[Excella Gionne]

Went to Grissom Academy with Jonathan...

Spoiler

[RanetheViking]

Do any of you guys even bother scanning planets in ME2 anymore? Or do you just gibb yourself resources in ME2 and then gibb yourself the full 100 for the mineral resources war asset in ME3? Because yo, I am seriously thinking about doing this. I tried scanning a couple of planets an hour ago but I gave up half way through the second one. I have no interest in spending so much time doing that crap again, not when I have gibbed available to me. 

 

I always do the collection missions in ME1 and in ME2 I do most of my scanning early, like doing the Firewalker missions. With import bonuses and only scanning Rich planets it doesn;t take long to bulk up.  But then again I'm very OCD.

I'm never gonna play with Sheploo's face. I can't stand that horrid ugly face

 

Mine is sooo much better. But all of Bioware's CCreators have seriously limited options. They should hire some people from Saints Row to learn how to do proper customization

Spoiler

That Shep must be one of Danny 'Machete' Trejo's descendants.  

[SporkFu]

Thane's recruit is another fun mission. I love making my way through the Dantius Towers, headshotting 'mechs and eclipse mercs mooks. Mattock + Incendiary Ammo + Adrenaline Rush = lotta dead vanguards. Surprised that organization still has enough people to call itself an organization anymore. Also, inferno grenades are the sh*t. 

 

Took Miranda and Garrus along this time, and we didn't share our precious medi-gel (that I haven't used once. Not once) with any bullet-ridden salarian employees. Not only that but I punched one of 'em out after he pointed a gun at me. Just... you know... don't tell Mordin. Might need his brain before this is over, and he's not loyal yet. 

 

Nassana thought we were there for her. HA! I'm a spectre -- err, was a spectre. I don't have time for some self-important asari rich b*tch with delusions of grandeur. Smiled when she mentioned how I shot her new building all to hell, just before Thane dropped from the ceiling and starting killing everyone who wasn't me, Garrus or Miranda. Would have been kinda funny if he thought we were Nassana's bodyguards. Assassin? What assassin? 

 

After that, I had my eight squaddies for the suicide mission, but I still had to complete two more missions before the collector ship would trigger. Idea for the next Mass Effect game: How about you let us players pick which missions we want to activate from our journal... like, if it's there, we can do it? 

 

Ah well, can't do that so, figuring I may as well get it over with, Grunt and shep helped Jacob find his father instead. He was one messed up dude who had some crazy Lord-of-the-Flies type thing going on, long after he could have gotten everyone off-planet... so, we let him eat a bullet. Should have let the hunters have him, but in a rare moment of non-renegadiness, I decided those people had had enough. 

 

Then we went back to the Citadel. Garrus had a line on the guy who betrayed his team, so Jack and I helped him out. Shot up the factory district quite a bit. I think Bailey is kinda intimidated by me, cause we didn't see one single c-sec officer. Killed a bunch of 'mechs, including three of the big ones. Was only able to headshot one though, dammit. I love nukin' those things. Again, no reaction from anyone else anywhere on the Citadel. The hell is wrong with these people? 

 

Turns out our old friend Harkin was calling himself Fade now, circumventing the law and helping criminals get hid. Well, I'll be damned if he didn't pay a steep price for crossing us: Gun-butt to the nose, choked out by Garrus' big-ass foot, kicked in the daddy-bags and shot in the leg. Wonder if Garrus will look back on that someday and say, "good times." Could tell he wanted to get back to his calibrations; he was getting kinda edgy, so we made our rendezvous with Sidonis and Garrus ventilated his brain-pan quick. 

 

Finally it was collector ship time. Took Miranda and Mordin with me. Kinda thought Mordin might have something to say when we discovered collectors were genetically modified protheans, but I guess he must have been shocked, all he ever said was, "horrible" and "terrible" all the time. 

 

The collector ship is yet another favorite ME2 mission. Picked up the Widow SR for my weapon specialization, and it got plenty of use on scions and Harby-puppets. Don't have the Cain yet, so I took the Collector Particle Beam thing I picked up on Horizon along for that Praetorian, but I used the Widow on it as well. Was fun. As soon as it appeared I adrenaline-rushed away from it and found some high-ground. Didn't even take very long to blast some big holes in it. 

 

TIM set us up, but I wasn't surprised by that, so it was no big deal. Jacob wanted to go after the reaper IFF straight away. What did he care, he's already loyal, heh. I reminded him who was in charge of this mission and he pout-stomped back to the armory. At least I won't have to talk to him anymore. I decided we better get some other folks focused on the mission. Grunt was growing up, Mordin wanted to track down one of his old students, Thane's kid thought he could be an assassin too, and we still had to blow up Jack's old homestead... oh, and now Tali was facing treason charges back on the migrant fleet! *sigh* if I don't take care of all that, these people will get me killed, I just know it. 

 

Thane's problem first. After we got back from the collector ship, Kelly offered to feed my fish for me, so I figured I better go back to the Citadel and buy some, and I also didn't want to talk to Thane anymore either. I beat up Thane's old duct-rat contact after telling him I wanted a cut of the profits from all those shepard VI's he was selling. Then I beat up the crime boss Mouse told us about. Then I shot Thane's kid's target. Finally, that was enough to attract some C-sec attention. Bailey isn't such a bad guy, though; he gave Thane's kid a job off-the-record as punishment for... well... honestly, I dunno what illegal thing he did, really. Oh wait, he shot the krogan bodyguard of the guy I killed. I guess that's illegal, but hell, I shot plenty of krogan on the citadel a couple years back. *shrug*

 

Then it was off to Pragia and the Telton facility. Shot some vorcha, some varren, and a few loudmouthed krogan before finding one of Jack's old fellow-inmates. He wanted to rebuild the place and that was pissing Jack off, but she was still conflicted over what to do about him. I reminded her that she's a killer, and that a bullet to the head solves everything. She knows that now. Back on the Normandy she was still going on about how she wanted all that crap gone. I told her to deal with it. 

 

Since Tali wasn't too specific as to when she had to report back to the migrant fleet, we're off to Tuchanka. Grunt's running out of windows to headbutt down in the port cargo hold. Just realized that even after the suicide mission I'm still gonna have a crapload of stuff to do before I can import into ME3. I've only done a handful of the side missions, haven't done any of the Firewalker missions, Overlord, LotSB, Arrival, haven't recruited Zaeed, Samara, Kasumi or Legion. Wow. It's gonna be like playing a whole other game. 

[Farangbaa]

Hallelujah!

Finally someone who appreciates the power of inferno grenades.

Brought a tear to my eye, Spork. 

Stop messing with my emotions

[SporkFu]

Hallelujah!

Finally someone who appreciates the power of inferno grenades.

Brought a tear to my eye, Spork. 

Stop messing with my emotions

Grenade physics still suck, and shep dances better than he throws, but when it works... well, hell, who doesn't love a good barbecue?

[birefringent]

Hallelujah!

Finally someone who appreciates the power of inferno grenades.

Brought a tear to my eye, Spork. 

Stop messing with my emotions

 

 

Grenade physics still suck, and shep dances better than he throws, but when it works... well, hell, who doesn't love a good barbecue?

 

Z's bbq party got a little out of hand

[birefringent]

Moving in

Spoiler

[Jerkules17]

Miranda,and her sister,along with my crew are raising Shepard J.r.Thanks to synthesis Miranda can have kids,but John Shepard(default looks,with spacer/war hero background) is dead at least Liara has a half human asari Shepard daughter made before John dies to help Miranda. I wish he was there too see his kids. At least EDI,and Joker are the god parents.

[Farangbaa]

Grenade physics still suck, and shep dances better than he throws, but when it works... well, hell, who doesn't love a good barbecue?

 

What physics? o.O

 

I never used inferno grenades on Shepard, only on Zaeed. Does Shepard throw the grenades in ME2 too?

[SporkFu]

What physics? o.O

I never used inferno grenades on Shepard, only on Zaeed. Does Shepard throw the grenades in ME2 too?

Yes, he tosses them underhanded. That"s why I say he dances better than he throws. Haven't recruited Zaeed yet in this game

[Farangbaa]

Oh, the ME1 way of throwing grenades, except gravity actually works on them now?

[SporkFu]

Oh, the ME1 way of throwing grenades, except gravity actually works on them now?

I thought he kinda threw them sidearm in ME1? And those spinning discs were totally different. They stayed in place til you detonated them.

Anyway, shep tosses them like an egg in ME2, and with terrible range, you really have to time your tosses.

[themikefest]

Cruella Shepard

 

So Wreav wants a cure for the genophage in return for helping the Turians. Nope. I won't let that happen. I will fool them into believing they get the cure. Haha.

 

I take Beeber and 4-eyes to Sur'Kesh to get the female Krogan. Here come the Monkees. Who told them about this? We get the female on the ship and Mordin is helping keep the female well.

 

I take Quitter and 4-eyes to rescue a Turian plattoon. We kill a bunch of gross looking whatevers and learn that the Turians came to recover a bomb. I'll try and help them later.

 

Time to cure(not) the genophage. With Beeber and 4-eyes with me, we fight with the uglies and see Kalros pop out of the ground and pull the reaper down into the ground. Cool. Sorry Mordin. No I'm not. I shoot Mordin in the back. Thats a big hole, and he bleeds green. Cool. Good. Now I will have Salarian support. See puppetmaster. Its not so bad being evil. Haha

 

Head back to the Citadel and fine out the Monkees want to take over. Yeah. Sure. What do I care if they do or not? Who's this ponytail looking Monkee with the sword? Shoot him in head Thane. What the **** is wrong with you? Shoot him in the head. Oh, I see. You want to play with him. Do that on your own time. See you dumba**? Had you shot him in the head from the start, you not of gotten impaled. Of course I might've helped if I didn't stand here doing nothing. But then again I don't care. Haha.

 

We chase the Monkee and crash. That sucks. What? They want to fight with swords? Ok. I kill one of them and take the sword. En garde. Cut off this arm. Ohh that's gotta hurt. Sword through the head. Move. Nice. See you dumb Monkees, I took a fencing class. You might want to take one as well. Lets go get the council.

 

Ok Bruiser. We're on the same side. I don't want to shoot you. Good. She stands down. I shoot Udina in the chest.

 

Lets take care of some errands.

 

At the hospital, I watch Thane die. Piece of advice for you pal. Don't go running into a sword in the afterlife. Haha

 

Help Jordan Noles with her problem. Convinced Balak to join the fight.

 

Conrad Verner. I like you.  Thanks for saving my life, though Jenna helped. Take care Conrad and stay safe.

 

Kelly thanked me for telling her to change her identity otherwise she might be dead. No problem.

 

Back on the ship I learned the guy's name that killed Thane, Kai Leng. That's nice. I will call him Kai Monkee.

 

Everybody wants to come up to my cabin. crybaby tells me about a time capsule, Traynor gives a new meaning to game night, Beeber tells me about a previous mission and the reporter asks me questions about the failed coup attempt.

 

I take Bruiser and 4-eyes to disarm this bomb. A lot of Monkees to fight. That's fine. They suck at combat so I'm not worried. The Victus Turian dies. Ok. Lets go back and do another mission.

 

We go to a Monastery and run into Samara. I remember her. She killed another asari. Cool. She's here for her daughter. Sorry. Don't need that family reunion crap. I'm here to blow the place up. The reapers turned the asari into something more uglier than what they already are. I didn't think that was possible. Her daughter stays behind while the rest of us leave before the bomb goes boom. Samara wnats to shoot herself. Now why did you make me stop her? That's right. For the assets. I keep fogetting about that crap. Fine.

 

Again I take 4-eyes and Bruiser on a mission to see about some missing Krogan scouts. I meet Grunt. How does a 6-month old Krogan become a leader?  Whatever. Fight rachni and husks. I let the Queen go. What? Its a bug. Why didn't you kill the thing? Nevermind. Silly me. You're getting all the war assets possible. You know what puppetmaster? You suck. You're a regular party pooper.

[Kurt M.]

Scott Shepard: His Life and Miracles, Part 3: Citadel!

 

So, yesterday I was a bit busy with work, and I only had time to play. Well, basically what I did were all the little Citadel assignments that can be done on your first visit to the Citadel. That includes Shaira, all teammates recruitments, etc. You all know the stuffz so I won't post many pics of all of that.

 

I also "activated" everybody's favourite credit bank:

 

 

...and helped the Elcor diplomat:

 

 

...NO, I DIDN'T WANTED TO HELP YOU THAT WAY!! GET YOUR &%$%$· MOUTH OUT OF MY FACE!!

 

Also, I completed the keeper collection (yeah, I have all of them memorized...because 30+ playthoughts, you know):

 

 

 

 

Scott Shepard: His Life and Miracles, Part 4: Therum!

 

So, following my tradition, after doing all the Citadel thingies (and levelling up until lvl 11 in the process), I went to Therum, to rescue some asari scientist whose name I don't remember right now...

 

Or that was my intention, until the baddies started showing up:

 

 

...to which Garrus insisted on blowing them up with the Mako's cannon:

 

 

but Bro-Wrex and I knew better :

 

 

 

...yeeeah! Now that's the manly way! (James Vega also approves ).

 

It also came with some juicy rewards:

 

 

Yeeah! Level that up, babe! (Vega...shut up for now, OK? ).

 

Not even the Colossus was saved from a face-to-face Sheploo Manly Fight™:

 

 

...and if my Paragon Shep isn't badass enough for you Paragon haters, guess what, he's not always a saint!

 

 

 

 

...cos good guys can be bad guys, too! (and yeah, that TOTALLY makes sense!).

[His Name was HYR!!]

 Been knocking out UNC missions, mostly. Once I got most of them done, I decided that leaving Feros for last would work best for flow of story. So I sent Anne Shepard to Virmire two days ago. Was not sure where I stood with persuasion but I did get the option to have Wrex stand down, I think due to the family armor I got for him. Saved him. Anne is a very social, "people person" IRL and so I imagine she would take the time to reason with one of her squad.

 

Sent Ash with the salarians' distraction team. When I had to choose, I chose Kaidan, since the plan is to do his romance in ME3 (not here, though; I like it better this way). Kimberly Brooks delivered this line: "I understand Commander, I don't regret a thing." perfectly. I got weepy for a couple seconds. Kirrahe and the salarians survived, though I went back to the bomb site rather than the AA tower. Never understood why that happens.

 

Went to Feros yesterday. Definitely liked my decision to save it for last. It explains the very dire situation (that one female colonist points out Shepard's late arrival, at that), and having Liara pinpoint the location of Ilos on her first try had a lot more impact than if it's a sudden (convenient) realization of hers... just don't take the dialogue option on the left immediately after she says it, because then she will indicate having melded with you previously.

 

Did not have the persuasion necessary to talk down Fai Dan. Somehow I am not too broken up about it.

 

I give Jennifer Hale some flak from time to time, but in ME1 she is rock solid, not the loose-cannon she can sometimes be.

 

Should be able to wrap up ME1 today, just have BDtS to do and ofc Ilos.

[SporkFu]

Did not have the persuasion necessary to talk down Fai Dan. Somehow I am not too broken up about it.

I think Fai Dan shoots himself regardless of what you say. 

[birefringent]

I think Fai Dan shoots himself regardless of what you say. 

Yep, he knows that a bullet in the head solves everything.

[Vazgen]

I think he meant Ethan Jeong

[birefringent]

The Power

Spoiler

She has the Power

[Vazgen]

Scott Shepard: His Life and Miracles, Part 3: Citadel!

 

So, yesterday I was a bit busy with work, and I only had time to play. Well, basically what I did were all the little Citadel assignments that can be done on your first visit to the Citadel. That includes Shaira, all teammates recruitments, etc. You all know the stuffz so I won't post many pics of all of that.

Y U NO USE HOTKEYS?!