Next entry in the Adventures of Naseem Shepard, rogue miner, former freelance mercenary, savior of the galaxy (second time).
Weird Eyes, eh I mean The Illusive Maaan had a lead. The collectors are attacking Horizon and it seems Ash is hanging out there, too.
Full speed ahead Joker and stop complaining that I changed the name of the cockpit into kindergarten.
In the meantime I talked with Dr. Strange to see if he found a countermeasure to the stasis field. Seems he did. We had a seeker on board? ![]()
Shuttle dropped us off. Us being Zaeed, Jack and me. Want to see if Miss Ink can do more than just talk.
The following mission is rated M for foul language.
Met the colonists, they weren´t really in the mood to chat, actually they were doing their best acting like statues. Yeah ok, everyone got caught in stasis. Met some friends (husks), some new friends (big husks, really annoying), some weird friends chittering like insects and some weirdo spouting oneliners and looking like he is on fire. Finally had enough and asked.
"Hey you?"
Burning Insect:"Talking to me Shepard?
Shep: "Yeah, do you someone else talking all the time."
Mr Burn: "Well, ehm... your allies."
Jack: "Shut up you beep beep beep you son of a beeeeep."
Mr. Burn: "I get your point Shepard. What do you want?"
Shep: "Who are you and why are you talking to me while trying to kill me?"
Mr. Burn: "I am the harbinger of your perfection."
Shep: "Ok, I call you Harb. And the second part and why only one liners?"
Harb: "Uh well, I am lonely and I want you to like me. Sorry about the one liners but I am not used to audio communication."
Shep: "You have a strange way of showing your affection. Go on."
Harb: "Well I am the first Reaper and the other Reapers don´t like me."
Ok, this is getting weird.
Shep: "Why?"
Harb: "Well we harvest the collective memory of the people and the one memory all harvested people have in common is dying horribly by our hands. So yeah they join us but they don´t like the other Reapers who harvested them. I participated in every harvest and so everyone resents me."
Shep: "Oh you big, poor cuttlefish, come over here and get a hug."
Harb: Oh thanks.
You are such a nice...
BAM
Jack: "What a loser."
Shep: "Yep." ![]()
Harb: "You will know pain Shepard." ![]()
Zaeed: "My turn."
After shooting Harb a few times, we activated some local defense turrets, Ash brought as a gift to the colony. Seems the Collectors didn´t like it, they even sent in some abonimation they made called a praetorian. Was quite a fight but at the end I climbed on top of a crate, did some funky dance moves up there, just to taunt him and then shot him down.*
Met one of the colonists again who wasn´t stuck in freeze time complaining that I didn´t do more. Yeah sure. Hiding in the basement and then complaining afterwards.
Jack nearly ripped him a new one.
Ash appeared too after the fight and after a few warm words we got into an argument why I am with Cerberus. Seems someone spread the good news.
Oh and found out who. Had a chat with TIM and he told me that he spread the word. Yeah thanks TIM for telling everyone that I am a member of a criminal organisation. Oh and he suspected that the Collectors are specifically looking for me and my buddies. Nice to know now. And we shall do what? Assault the Collector homeworld with a frigate and 8 soldiers.
I am good but seems that TIM thinks I am Bioticman flinging asteroids around with a snap of my fingers. Ah no, I get three more dossiers, yeah that changes everything. ![]()
I think I have a chat with Jack about this space pirate thing she mentioned.
Jacob caught up with me after my chat with pretty blue eyes and made some ominous comments about closure before going on a suicide mission. Sounds like he is writing his last will or so. Don´t know why he wants to talk about it with me later.
*actually I got stuck on top of a crate because of a glitch and threw more curses around than Jack while frantically trying to get down again.
I was lucky that he was close to death already.





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