Oh my, another silly piece...
This time from James's perspective after the party night. I promise the next one will be from the actual game again 
The party had been wild and James was still taken aback by his night with Shepard. The night with Commander Shepard...
And even though it was fueled by alcohol and the party mood, he had enjoyed their night together. But now? He just didn't know how to feel about it.
There was regret, but also reliving that night, unable to forget. To forget her.
In the end it might've been better to not do it, but ultimately he couldn't resist Shepard. She had always been attractive to him, and now that they had known each other for quite some time he did care a great deal for her. But he was determined to not let it get to him. Fraternization always meant trouble and last night proved it to him once more. Not that he could change now what had happened...
Deep in thought he was startled when he heard a voice buzz in over the comm. Kaidan. He asked for a round of Skyllian-Five, and James could surely use the distraction. He had tended to his equipment in the cargo bay while the Normandy prepared to depart for the Cerberus Headquarters, but his mind had been elsewhere the whole time anyway.
They still had a lot of time to kill before leaving, so James agreed and told Kaidan he'd be up in a minute.
"Hey Major, can I ask you something?"
"Uh... sure." Kaidan answered absentminded, thinking about his next move.
"Did you... Did you notice anything about the Commander lately?"
His voice came out more worried and serious than he had intended.
Kaidan looked up. James had his attention now and continued.
"Uh. Like, I don't know, does she seem... tired of all this Reaper crap to you? Exhausted?"
"Mh. I guess we all are. I did just visit her the day before the party, but mostly she made fun of my food... So... no, whenever I see her she appears to be normal. I mean, sure, she does look tired from time to time, but she acts normal around me, I'd say. Besides, she's a tough one."
"Huh... okay."
James looked down at his hand, but he couldn't really focus on the cards.
"Why are you asking? Did she say anything to you?"
James shifted around in his chair uncomfortably. He shouldn't have asked the Major, given his history with Shepard and the fact that James had just slept with her last night. But Kaidan probably knew her best, and curiosity had gotten the better of him. He had to find out what this whole thing meant for them. For him.
He avoided looking into Kaidan's eyes when he formulated his next sentence.
"Well... there was... something she mentioned at the party, so... I don't know, I thought maybe she said something to you, too."
Kaidan shrugged and shook his head.
"Nah, she didn't. What did she say?"
James looked for a way out.
"I... uh, look, it's probably not my place to say. Sorry to have brought it up. I just thought... you know, given your history and everything."
Kaidan didn't answer immediately.
"Yeah..."
He didn't look at Kaidan, but he had noticed the disappointment in his voice and felt even more stupid for asking Kaidan of all people about the whole thing.
But why would the Commander tell him how she felt in this whole war, and not her former boyfriend? Weren't they still close? And what about her past...? She said she never really told anyone before.
So... she really meant it? Her being genuinely interested? Possibly more than that? Why else would she tell him something as intimate as this, if not because she cared about and trusted him a great deal? Almost as if she had relaxed around him, let her guard down, shown him her true self.
James always found her an extraordinary woman, but what she had shown him last night made him think about her constantly. She wasn't the strong woman she let on, she was fragile and worn down right now. A different side. A side ready to give up. He knew she would not, she was a tough soldier after all, and just like him, it was all she had.
She would give this her everything, he was sure of it.
But his views on her as the tough Commander he admired had crumbled and he couldn't help but feeling a little foolish for picturing her like that the whole time until now.
And now he did not really know how to handle this situation. Her hitting on him had already caught him off guard enough, and if feelings were involved now...
Should he simply avoid her? Talk more to her? Just act normal?
He had no idea which would be the right one. But given the war, it would be absolute madness to even think about this situation any further. It was... complicated.
Any emotional distractions during missions can mess up everything... They needed to focus. There was no room for mistakes.
And deep down, he knew that he had already made his choice.