83 réponses à ce sujet

[The Archdemon]

Hi everyone, The Archdemon here

I just finished playing Dragon Age and let me tell you, I am -not- a happy camper!  I spent thousands of years hiding away as an 'Old God' (which is a terrible term by the way, I am barey middle aged!) before the darkspawn started doing their thing.  Now suddenly -I- am the root of all evil in the world?

Listen...there are a LOT of darkspawn.  So many, in fact, that they have overrun the secret places beneath the deep roads with thier masses, so I suggested they move to the surface in search of real-estate.  I even provided each of them with a generous ammount of gold to purchase land.   Instead of being welcomed as a new source of income, however, the paranoid isolationalist surface dwellers started to KILL every Hurlock and Genlock that wanted to strike a deal!

Of course, the kin of the slain darkspawn just had to go and form thier own posses to seek vengeance (against my orders, I may mention) and that caused some issues and certainly didn't help matters, but the instances were fairly rare and I took immediate steps to put my people in their proper place.

I had finally gotten everyone calmed down enough to behaved civilized when it came to our attention that there was a group of people hunting darkspawn for the express purpose of DRINKING THEIR BLOOD!.  Seriously, what the hell is WRONG with you people??   I thought at fist that these individuals must be some sort of isolated madmen, but my Emissaries kept bringing me tales of how the surface folk thought they were HEROES!

I made sure that an darkspawn venturing to the surface travelled in lare groups for their own safty from the bloodthirsty surfacers  and bade them find out more information about these so called 'heroes' the Grey Wardens.   Many of my people were needlessly saughtered as they approached towns and cities in the hopes of simply talking to the residents.

Eventualy word got to me that these....these....MONSTERS were for some reason hunting for me with murder in their hearts.  ME!  What had I done?  I hadn't been to the surface in thousands upon thosands of years, but a bunch of blood-drinking psychopaths decided that I should be killed??

My Emissaries told me that this order of lunatics were basing themselves from some place called 'Ostagar', so I sent forth my armies to destroy them in self defense.   You all know that story.

What followed was months of terror as I went from bolthole to safe house, fleeing the wrath of the remains of the psychotic Grey Warden cult.  I had to watch as most of my friends were murdered by bloodthirsty monsters who wouldn't stop for two minutes to TALK.  My pregnant new bride was hacked to bits in her home by four lunatics who barged in with spells and swords.  I am told her neighbours rushed to her aid, but the innocent mold farmers and nug herders were no match for one of the death cult and thier friends.

You all know how this story ended, I don't have to tell you the details.

What upsets me is that this company 'Bioware' has taken a story of loss, tragedy and the mass murder of my people and sickly twisted it into a GAME.  Not only a game, but one in which the player takes the roll of a psychotic cultist who befriends witches, zealots, invaders and drunkards, then rampages across Ferelden in an orgy of wanton slaughter.

You people are sick and twisted to revel in the sensless death of my people, I find your sense of humour deplorable, your so called 'entertainment' disgusting and your obsession with death repulsive.

People of Bioware, you are all very sick.  People of these forums, you should all think twice about your sickening pasttimes.

Also, I did -not- look that fat at Denerim.  That was uncalled for.

-The Archdemon.

[Silensfurtim]

hey Archdemon, lets talk about Return to Ostagar lol

[thegreateski]

This is silly but I lold.

[The Archdemon]

Silensfurtim wrote...

hey Archdemon, lets talk about Return to Ostagar lol

It is coming this holiday season, damn you.

[The Archdemon]

Crawling_Chaos wrote...

The Archdemon wrote...

Silensfurtim wrote...

hey Archdemon, lets talk about Return to Ostagar lol

It is coming this holiday season, damn you.

Spring Holidy?

We will provide more information to you when it is available.

[DoctorPringles]

At least I'm not the only one who thought it was weird they -drank- darkspawn blood. Who was the first guy to find out drinking their blood gave you mystical powers? What, was he just trudging along in the deep roads when all a sudden a darkspawn bled straight into his mouth and suddenly he felt their presence?

[The Archdemon]

DoctorPringles wrote...

At least I'm not the only one who thought it was weird they -drank- darkspawn blood. Who was the first guy to find out drinking their blood gave you mystical powers? What, was he just trudging along in the deep roads when all a sudden a darkspawn bled straight into his mouth and suddenly he felt their presence?

I know right?   What the hell?

Also...that whole 'presence feeing' thing never happened.  It is just a fabrication by Bioware to excuse the Wardens for a disgusting hobby.

[Zepheera]

You sir, owe me a soda... and a new nose.

[NKKKK]

Oh god, this thread has to stay open.

[DoctorPringles]

I knew it. I'll bet Duncan made those Warden recruits hunt so many vials of blood just so he'd have a midnight snack. Sick bastard.

[Sloth Of Doom]

Wait..this didn't contain spoilers.

besides the Archdemon can;t register his game for...some...reason.  How is he supposed to respond to people buried in this forum?  Move it back!

Modifié par Sloth Of Doom, 15 janvier 2010 - 05:29 .

[TotoroTori]

Can I hug and pet you Archdemon?  You looks so huggable :3

Modifié par TotoroTori, 15 janvier 2010 - 05:35 .

[PaladinZero]

As for the blood drinking, it was either desperation (which is main reason why dwarves don't last long in Deep Roads) or I think it was a dare. As a Warden, I can tell you it tastes something like red cream soda.

[uberman409]

Red cream soda... and doom. DOOM.

[SusanStoHelit]

Lmao! Really.

[twintalons]

Nice ....

[bunnie.riane]

Well, what good would come from even associating with...those THINGS?

I mean, they have gross scabby-rotting flesh! And they don't even have lips.

Really, ew.



Don't you know in any fantasy type setting, all ugly things like that are evil?

DUH.

[steelfire_dragon]

Is it just me or is sloth of doom's avatar look like that dude from dethklok??

freaky......





anyway, archdemon.

you never write anymore, its so depressing

[darkshadow136]

steelfire_dragon wrote...

Is it just me or is sloth of doom's avatar look like that dude from dethklok??
freaky......


anyway, archdemon.
you never write anymore, its so depressing

No sloth of doom looks like a zombie Angus Young from AC/DC.

[Sloth Of Doom]

darkshadow136 wrote...

steelfire_dragon wrote...

Is it just me or is sloth of doom's avatar look like that dude from dethklok??
freaky......


anyway, archdemon.
you never write anymore, its so depressing

No sloth of doom looks like a zombie Angus Young from AC/DC.

I guess that is better than when Georg Zoeller said I looked like a 'young angry meatloaf'

[Tor_pedo]

Friggin' archdemon! you killed my mentor, you sodding piece of balljuice!

[Sloth Of Doom]

steelfire_dragon wrote...

anyway, archdemon.
you never write anymore, its so depressing

The Archdemon apologizes for not replyin but he can't register his game and some mod moved this topic to this forum without saying why

[darkshadow136]

Rofl now that you mention it add a little weight to you avatars face and yes you do look like a younger meatloaf. Look out it is the revenge of Eddie.



Let's see who catches the cult movie reference.