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DragonRacer wrote...
I'm so nervous now, it's pathetic.
I really, really want to have "The Right Stuff" to make the cut (irony moment - my husband, unaware of all this, decided to pop in that movie while we had dinner after my potentially impromptu first evaluation *bites fingernails*). And tonight may have made me or broken me, I dunno.
Been working on N7 Mastery, had everything mass-promoted the other night then spammed recruit packs. A BSN member that I've kept missing on finally hooking up with messaged me and I joined her room with my Level 14/15 (can't remember which) Phoenix Adept. I'd never played that character on Gold before and I am trying to expand my kits so I can be considered for S.P.E.C.T.R.E. candidacy. And there in the room is SmoothCriminal... the PS3 evaluator I'd never played with before (TMB and I have played lots together).
Instant nervousness. And I let him know up front that I was wanting to try out for S.P.E.C.T.R.E. at some point, but had only conveyed that to TMB so far. Did Cerberus/Gold and I wasn't very happy with my performance. I did all right, but that was about it. Leveled me up to 18/19 or so. He set match to Platinum... then got disconnected loading into London and the remaining two slots got filled with PUGs. My friend and I played until Wave 6 objective was over and agreed to die so we could get Smooth back in the room.
I ended up host. Juggernaut PUG stayed and we got Smooth back in. Ended up Jade/Reapers. And while it was incredibly challenging, I had the game of my life. Remember, I'd never played Smashdept on Gold before until tonight, so this was obviously my first Platinum with him. And I fully admit that Adepts are my weakest class... also part of the reason why I chose to work it on Gold tonight (and then got ninja-surprised by, hey, a PS3 evaluator is in the room!). So, this was literally me being tried at my worst. Everything went relatively smoothly, I feel, as we went on a biotic rampage. I've always been good about calling out enemies if they're sneaking up on us, and that seemed to help several times. Used missiles when necessary to clear an area to revive someone (I did not bring Armored Compartments... Survivor Loadout instead because Smashdept = squishy, which is also a weakness for my playstyle).
Then came Wave 10. Targets. And things went to hell. My friend, who rage-gelled too much earlier in the match, got overwhelmed and downed and we couldn't get to her in time before she was executed. At almost the same time, Smooth got scooped up by an unfortunate Banshee grab while trying to kill the last remaining target (which was a Banshee). So, there I was. Completely out of missiles (I was out after I nuked the first two targets... had used up my others to clear the way for revives). Wave 10 of Platinum with my weakest class, with a character I'd never taken out of Silver until tonight, with a Juggernaut standing in the corner heavy meleeing a lot, and there's still that remaining Banshee to take out both for the 4th target and to avenge Smooth's death.
I'm... still not entirely sure how I made it. I'll admit I was wide-eyed, but honestly said over the mic, "Well, this is where Spectres are made or broken, I guess." Lots of kiting and ops packs later, target was killed and Wave 10 was clutched. Not entirely by me... Juggy was definitely a help in my mind by distracting at least some of the remaining enemies. But we got it done, I didn't screw the pooch at least, and we made extraction. I literally had no more medigel, ops packs, or missiles left, but we made it out. And I kinda sorta clutched. It wasn't pretty by any means, but it got done.
But I am nervous right now. I have no idea if that is considered good enough to have "it" to be a S.P.E.C.T.R.E... or if it's just the sign of a really good player, but not an exceptional one. That's a hard, indefinable line. I was third on the scoreboard, which did not surprise me (Smooth is definitely TMB's level of amazing). If I am in a room with outstanding individuals, that is the spot I usually fall into: behind them and in front of the PUG. But I never once got sync-killed, if I was in a bad spot I announced I'd gel and nobody risk getting to me, I did everything I could to revive the others, missiled when necessary, and managed to halfway clutch (I say halfway since it wasn't me by myself on Wave 10, the PUG was still there). And clutching is something I feel I can usually do 9 times out of 10, but have only ever done so on Gold before. But I just am unsure, largely because I have a bad habit of constantly doubting myself about everything. Despite not being a constant DPS machine, I feel like I still bring at least some small intangibles to the table... the pitbull nature of never wanting to give up and leaving nothing on the table, expending all consumables if necessary to ensure the team makes money and extracts. But is that enough to be a S.P.E.C.T.R.E? That is the true question, and not one I can answer, certainly. Tim Tebow had such intangibles, too... made him a warrior in college football and not-so-much-so in the NFL. I fear potentially being a Tim Tebow like that... good, but not quite up to snuff, kid.
We shall see. I am more than willing to play with Smooth again and, of course, TMB, with all my other classes as well to show a broad spectrum of ability. I suppose now all I can do is wait and see.
*so nervous right now*
Must have been hell of a thrilling game.
And don't worry too much. The hardest part about moving up from Gold to Platinum was overcoming the psychological barrier. Once you get a few more Platinum games under your belt, you'll go into Platinum games with no sweat.
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also, I didn't know you were a girl gamer 
I admire your courage to join a group full of men and their e-p...eens 
lol, but for me, it doesn't matter how many pugs I had to carry in the past, deep down I'm just a little princess who always wants to be carried 
