It's pretty good. One or two spelling mistakes, but apart from that it's a good story. It does capture quite well how the first time can be for some people.
And I did "Lol" at some of the things. Well done!
Everyone has their...
Débuté par
Tasmen
, janv. 17 2010 07:07
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#27
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 04:10
MarcusDeVarro
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The Gay Warden wrote...
but I've got a more mature mind than most kids my age
maturity is overrated trust me
and only immature people assume their more mature than their peers
just sayin
#28
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 04:25
Bhatair
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I laughed because it was true.
And then I felt sad >.>
And then laughed again
And then I felt sad >.>
And then laughed again
#30
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 06:00
The Gay Warden
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Oh, how I do love getting flamed just for my age... *Sigh*
#31
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 06:33
emynii
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Oh sweetheart - you're not getting flamed because of your age. You're getting flamed because you are pronouncing yourself mature, but coming across more stuck-up than anything.
You're actually exhibiting typical 15 year old behavior by puffing yourself up and declaring yourself mature while turning your nose up at things you don't understand.
You're actually exhibiting typical 15 year old behavior by puffing yourself up and declaring yourself mature while turning your nose up at things you don't understand.
#32
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 06:40
Daigowedd
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The Gay Warden wrote...
Oh, how I do love getting flamed just for my age... *Sigh*
Aww you think any of those things actually consitutes a flame? Bless.
#33
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 06:42
Antigone2283
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I don't think I've ever laughed quite so much while reading M-rated fic!! This is so frickin' cute! What I like best about this fic is the way it makes me completely rethink the characters: you go through the game with all this responsibility and maturity, and I forget that the PC and Alistair really are just a couple of kids. It soooo would have been like this! And, way to go Eliska for insisting on hers! Haha!
Thanks for sharing this! So cute!
Thanks for sharing this! So cute!
#34
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:02
The Gay Warden
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What can I say? Adolescence is a b*tch.
#35
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:12
noneko
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You... do know that this game is 17+, right? Unless your parents bought the game for you, the store that sold you that game violated the law...
#36
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:15
Sagacious Rage
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lol he used a fake i.d. to buy a videogame.
Kid, why can't you use that i.d. for something cool, like smokes.
Kid, why can't you use that i.d. for something cool, like smokes.
#38
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:20
The Gay Warden
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Erm. My parents bought it for me. Guys, it's not like I'm in elementary, I'm in Highschool...
#40
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:29
ReubenLiew
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I think we can all end this conversation right here. This thread is for the OP's fanfiction and people's reaction and comments on it, let the baiting and discussion on the virtue of age and what may or may not be legal end, please?
#41
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:33
noneko
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While I appreciate your backseat modding, I wasn't planning to waste any more of my time on that. So no worries from this end.
#42
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:36
ReubenLiew
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Just didn't want the thread to devolve off topic. It's disrespectful to the OP.
#43
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:41
noneko
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Believe me, the OP is capable of defending herself, if she wishes to do so.
But, to get back on topic, this fic is lolarious.
But, to get back on topic, this fic is lolarious.
#44
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:43
ReubenLiew
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I have no doubt of that, but it's always nice when you don't have to tidy up your own thread 
And back on topic, I like the story, but I'm disappointed that it didn't end up with him slumping on her and falling asleep while she has to push him off
And back on topic, I like the story, but I'm disappointed that it didn't end up with him slumping on her and falling asleep while she has to push him off
#45
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:50
Bhatair
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ReubenLiew wrote...
I like the story, but I'm disappointed that it didn't end up with him slumping on her and falling asleep while she has to push him off
Or: "Whew, well I'm going to go cool of in the lake!" *Scampers off*
#46
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 07:59
ReubenLiew
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Perhaps a "Whew, baby, that was awesome, but could you get me a beer? I'm dying here..."
#47
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 08:20
Tasmen
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ReubenLiew wrote...
I have no doubt of that, but it's always nice when you don't have to tidy up your own thread
And back on topic, I like the story, but I'm disappointed that it didn't end up with him slumping on her and falling asleep while she has to push him off
Hah...don't give me ideas
#48
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 08:58
Creature 1
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The dangers of the internet. Just have to slap a Mature rating on it and hope they use discretion.Malaia wrote...
No offense, but while it's lovely you liked my fic, I am mortified a 14 year old read my stuff. Truly mortified. And if I could I would grab your ear and pull you away from the computer. oO
After the shocked post I had to read. Ah, to be young again--the nervous butterflies, the awkward sex. . .
#49
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 09:11
OldMan91
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Especially the awkward sex. Oh god, the pain! The pain!
#50
Posté 17 janvier 2010 - 10:16
Tasmen
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Creature 1 wrote...
After the shocked post I had to read. Ah, to be young again--the nervous butterflies, the awkward sex. . .
I had a lot of fun writing it, but ugh...no, I don't want to relive it
