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Mass Effect Group Story: The Battle at London Discussion Thread


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#1826
Redbelle

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Righteo..... This is the launch to down Harby? Or the Reaper cap ship? Or.... something?

 

Well, shep get's to make his disasterous run, then Steiner and company get there's. Wyld's picking up the stragglers of their push to the beam so she'll reinforce Steiners group.

 

Then the part I've literally waited nearly a year to write!!!



#1827
Kel Riever

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Yeah I have to get this Rea part over.  Wyld's got to get all the spotlight now!  (and of course, Naleena started it all by saving the council)

 

This is the Thanax missile launch coming that Shep makes in the game, after a big horde of everything comes after him.  I promised a Chasing Spectre entry to someone so doing that first.



#1828
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Okay, can I write Shepard after the thanix missile launch?



#1829
Kel Riever

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Sure!  You go write manshep, Liara and Garrus.  Make sheploo more interesting than the brown pair of shoes level of interest his character model invokes.



#1830
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Sure!  You go write manshep, Liara and Garrus.  Make sheploo more interesting than the brown pair of shoes level of interest his character model invokes.

 

I'll do the best I can. You know how it is. I'll give him personality. I'm using the Bioware canon -- the entire squad is there -- even though they were on the Normandy... So this means Javik is going to be there trolling Shepard. Trust me it is needed. I have to build a personality in a hurry. Ashley will be there as well. Kaidan is dead. EDI will be there trolling Javik. James will be James, "Hey."

 

"Commander, I'm injured," Javik screamed while writhing in agony on the ground.

 

Shepard called Joker instead of talking directly to EDI (the ship) who was standing next to him. "Joker, bring the ship down immediately! We need a med-evac now!"

 

"No, Shepard! I must avenge my people!"

 

"Don't be silly Javik. You've got a stubbed toe. It could be serious. Have Dr. Chakwas look at it. I've got this. You were... always special to me," Shepard said.

 

"Thank you. Like all primitive Asari, I think this Asari has the hots for me. I will see to her desires," Javik trolled.

 

Shepard (autodialog) "On behalf of Liara, I am offended."

 

The Normandy closed and took off leaving Shepard all alone.



#1831
Redbelle

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lol.

 

"Javik. If I don't make it out..... there's something we do to honour the dead by those who live".

 

"What is this primitive ritual you would have me do commander"?

 

"Feed my fish".



#1832
Kel Riever

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"Shepard called Joker instead of talking directly to EDI (the ship) who was standing next to him. "Joker, bring the ship down immediately! We need a med-evac now!""

 

Right there, worth all the lulz! :D



#1833
Redbelle

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<Looks between fingers>.

 

Why did I give Lucy a flamethrower?!?!



#1834
sH0tgUn jUliA

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I should be kinder on Shepard's birthday, but I keep remembering the bad writing, like, "You mean Asari can reproduce with their own species?"

 

And this if you're not with Liara on Sur'Kesh:

 

Shepard: Are the Krogan ready to fight?

Wreav: Are the Asari ready to mate?

Shepard (autodialog): On behalf of Liara, I am offended.

 

Yes, that is canon. It is spoken even if you are NOT a Liaramancer. I don't mind it if you are, but if you aren't, it is cringeworthy. I promise to try not to write cringeworthy dialogue for Shepard. Although it could be fun to have the other character give him s*** for all the potential bad lines that were spoken earlier in the story. 

 

Liara (hiding in cover taking shots at the enemy): Shepard, I remember when we first met.

Shepard: Yeah, what about it?

Liara: You didn't seem to be very... bright.

Shepard: Are you saying I'm dumb?

Liara: No. No, not at all. I've learned otherwise since then, but you've got to admit there were things.

Shepard: Like what?

Liara: Like the time I mentioned I was a pureblood, and you were stunned. You didn't think Asari could mate with our own species.

Shepard: Well you don't as a rule. I didn't think it was a dumb question.

Liara: Now you've got me wondering again.

Shepard: Why?

Liara: How do you think we populated our worlds before we invented interstellar spaceflight?

Shepard: I should go.

Liara: Go where?

Shepard: To the next barricade. Come on!



#1835
Kel Riever

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Yes, making characters dumb to explain lore.  Totally couldn't have gone in the codex :P

 

Anyway, FLAMETHROWER!  Hah!  George Carlin should be relevant.  I can't link due to language, but simply youtube 'George Carlin Flamethrower' and click on the 1:11 minute link...



#1836
Redbelle

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Liara: No you don't. I will not let this go so easily Shepard. Tell me. Why were you surprised?

Shepard: <mumble>

Liara: Sheeeepaaaard?

Shepard: <sighs> Before..... you kind of all looked the same to me. From a distance you all look like sisters.

Liara: Well..... I suppose from your perspective..... We are a sisterhood since we are mongendered.....

Shepard: No! Sis-ters!

Liara:................. SHEPARD!!!

Shepard: I'll be at the next Barricade if you want to talk!



#1837
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Well, I couldn't resist. In honor of our Commander's birthday, I skewered him.



#1838
Kel Riever

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hehehhe.



#1839
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Damn! I forgot to give Tali a role.



#1840
Kel Riever

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You can always edit...

#1841
sH0tgUn jUliA

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True, and I'd better hurry.

 

The post is edited under the Eastern Time deadline.



#1842
Kel Riever

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Well done.



#1843
sH0tgUn jUliA

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You realize it isn't going to get any better for Shepard. First it was how Liara caught the "scale itch" from him, now this, and there's more.



#1844
Redbelle

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Tali can be off in another squad with Jacob. (the cheating little........) :angry:



#1845
Kel Riever

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Jacob?...

 

...

 

....Personally I would never want to get on Garrus' bad side.  (ignite nerdfandom!)

 

Okay, I started writing the next thing bit, piece.  Doing my best to cram it into the shedule ( <- I'm spelling it like RedBelle probably says it...)



#1846
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Well, now that I've picked the scabs of ME3 writing in the other part of the forum. You know when one really looks at the writing in the series, it gets like picking a scab. You know you shouldn't do it but you just can't stop. You like the characters, but damn the writing gets horrendously bad at times. It's worse now that we've done our thing. I've gone back and looked at stuff on youtube and the characters are almost like aliens came and sucked half of their brains out. Especially in ME3. I don't even count ME1 because the writers were too lazy to write an actual story and instead wrote walking information dumps.

 

Shepard.... should Shepard have more than a 90 IQ? That's about what he has in the game. The cast has an average of room temperature in ME3. Do you see how we broke canon? Wyld is way too intelligent for her own good. She's a bloody genius. Naleena? the same. Jack? Well she got an intelligence boost. Rea? way too smart for her own good. These people don't belong in the MEU. Baldurjack... the man just... won't... die.

 

Then there's Lucy.... with the sand... and now with... a Flamethrower! I could see her eyes light up, and see her get all excited.



#1847
Redbelle

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The problem with flamethrowers and biotics...... you can turn them into jet engines. Which if you add roller blades, would give Lucy a charge ability unlike anythng the galaxy has EVER seen!



#1848
sH0tgUn jUliA

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Red leather coat. Don't forget the coat.



#1849
Redbelle

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The coat went to Naomi. Lucy felt that it wouldn't like her that much.



#1850
Kel Riever

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Oh, well, you know < insert my diatribe about ME3 etc. here >  Picking a scab is the perfect analogy.

 

I'm playing ME1 again, for the first time in over 2 years.  It really doesn't come across so badly when you add good voice acting and animation that is fine (if dated).  Therein lies the rub.  Movies have that same quality...good music, hot actor, good voice, drama...things go by the wayside.  It was the idea of ME1, the whole concept, that carried it.  Slicing it to pieces wasn't something that needed to be done because it was fine afterwards.  To a lesser degree for me, ME2.  But ME3?  All the grace gets thrown out the window and the surgery tools come out.  Pretty soon the whole of the ME series ends up looking like the frog you cut open in biology.

 

But the story we wrote?  Well I'm sure we could cut it all open too.  What's the difference?  We wrote it, it was enjoyable, and nobody is counting on us for anything to deliver.  Nobody here is collecting money from this project.  It is a whole lot easier for me to look at this thing with kind eyes because nobody is screwing it over either.  So, of course, I enjoy it a million times more.  Biased as that may be.  I also don't consider the readers to be a problem of our endeavor...shocking, I know.