Kel, that's not the point. What we've written is barely in the rough draft stage. For an exercise I put all of my stuff together and tried to make a cohesive story out of it. I fit some of yours and some of Redbelle's in it and of course gave credit where credit is due. Then I did finished the story. I downloaded the demo of Smart Edit and did some serious editing for the duration of the demo. I added a few things to flesh out my protagonist, and smoothed out some chapter transitions, and it's a 138,000 word story from start to finish. It's with my beta readers right now being read, edited again and proofread. I think I got all of the major stuff. I fixed all of the overuse of certain phrases, words, and things like that so that the narrative flows better. I fleshed out descriptions, and did all that stuff as an exercise. This is still a rough draft. When I get it back and fix the mistakes it will be a semi-final draft. Unfortunately that's where it's going to remain when it gets published on fanfiction.net.
Don't get me wrong. I had a lot of fun doing this. It was an education of what it takes to write a story. This was not easy.
Mass Effect 1-3 were final published copies. But why does that happen in ME3? It's the intro through when you arrive on The Citadel. It's horribly written for the most part with the exception of Mars. Mars has a couple of glitches they hope you don't notice: 1) If you're playing femShep none of the Cerberus soldiers are female so how does Shepard expect Cerberus to buy that? They don't. 2) You and Liara stand and watch Ashley get the crap beat out of her and do nothing. Liara could have at least thrown a Stasis on Eva. Cutscene Derp. In fact why didn't Liara throw a stasis as soon as Eva got out of the shuttle? "Finish her!" Choppy unconvincing dialogue at The Citadel. Extremely bad editing.





Retour en haut





