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[Iron Star]

With all the new info Bioware have shared with us, we now know three of our future companions, aswell as the possible race/ class combinations our very own inquisitor can be. In this thread we'll jokingly (or seriously) try and come up with interesting and funny party banter that could possibly happen between the inquisitor and his/her companions, or between two or more companions!

I'll start:
(Between a qunari inquisitor and Varric)
V: So inquisitor, did I ever tell you that I was there when Hawke faced your Arishok in trial by combat and killed him?
I: He's not "my" Arishok, Varric. I don't follow the Qun, remember?
V: Fair enough. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time when Hawke and I teamed up with a qunari assassin to retrieve a list containing information about every qunari sleeper agent stationed in Thedas?
I: Are you trying to tell me something, Varric?
V: Nope, nothing at all.

[Tarek]

sorry all i can come up with are sexual ones :<

[Eveangaline]

Tarek wrote...

sorry all i can come up with are sexual ones :<

Post em anyway

[Diefenbaker]

Tarek wrote...

sorry all i can come up with are sexual ones :<

I'm not seeing the problem here...

[DatOneFanboy]

I: Hey bebe Tonight il take u Ii r the italian Stallion
Female N.1: Oh ye ye
Female N.2 I will be waiting master.

HIRE ME BIOWARE I GOT THIS

[H. Birdman]

Varric: Sure is nice to get out in the open air and see the countryside.
Inquisitor: You didn't like Kirkwall?
Varric: Nah, too claustrophobic. It was like the same five places over and over again. Even the caves seemed the same.

[cactusberry]

H. Birdman wrote...

Varric: Sure is nice to get out in the open air and see the countryside.
Inquisitor: You didn't like Kirkwall?
Varric: Nah, too claustrophobic. It was like the same five places over and over again. Even the caves seemed the same.

This is gold.

__

I can already tell this thread will be one of my favorites.

[Little Princess Peach]

Varric: So the seeker seeks a seeking warden that seeks
Cass: stop right there Varric
Varric: AH I was just getting to the good part
Pc: A sinking ship?
Varric: nah I was going for a Griffon really...
Cass: No there really is a sinking ship

Viv: So Varric is it true you met Hawke?
Varric yup
Viv: is it true she was ten feet tall with lighting shooting out of her eyes?
Varric: no Quite, Hawke was a dude
Viv: But you said Hawke had steel breast plates on his armor?
Varric: and that makes Hawke a girl how?

[Faerah]

PC: Cole...
*Cole stares vacantly as if dead.*
PC: ....Cole.
Cole: Oh, what? I uh...
Varric: *whispers to PC* That kid scares me s***less. I'm blaming you if he murder knifes us in the middle of the night.

[cJohnOne]

Varric: Hey Sunshine. It's sunshining.

Cassandra: Are you talking to me?

[Reznore57]

Varric :So...what's exactly on your head, my powerful mage friend?
Vivienne: You can see it is a hat.
Varric : I 've never seen a hat like this before...it looks a bit qunari?
Vivienne : Orlesian.And quite expensive.
Varric : Well I'll never understand Orlesians fashion , who wants to walk around with ...er...dragon horns on the head?
Vivienne : Style , Varric.Just don't try to overthink it.Some have it and some don't.
Varric:And nobody ever tried to , I don't know , shoot you because you look like some gazelle from far away?
Vivienne:I'd rather die than look underdressed!
Varric : You're freaking me out , you know.

Modifié par Reznore57, 02 septembre 2013 - 10:05 .

[Parmida]

Varric: So I was in the market the other day. You wana know what I heard?
QunQuizzy: Oh this should be good..
Varric: Nope! It isn't. you're going to regret this. I heard you're into that other oxma-
QunQuizzy: Varric!
Varric: ..what's his name...uh.... oh yeah that bull dude with an iron was it? or-
QunQuizzy: Stop! This. Is. Personal!
Varric: Yeah! the Iron Bull! Got it! So how does it work out exactly?
QunQuizzy: *sigh*
Cass: Stop that Varric, this isn't the time.
Varric: Oh Seeker, you wound me. I'm just trying to write a wonderful new story that makes you read it instead stabbing it!
QunQuizzy: Varric my personal life better not end up in one of your stories. I have a reputation! What will people say!?
Varric: Okay....I won't publish it. I'll just make some copies for the Seeker to stab and maybe send one to Isabela, she loves this kind of stuff.
QunQuizzy: ........You are impossible!

[Zack_Nero]

Cassandra: Varric.
Varric: Yea.
C: I heard an interesting tale at the keep the other night.
V: And which tale would that be?
C: Of how you and the Inquisitor took down a small battalion of Red Templars, then a dragon flew down, and you two then rode it off to a near by village where you then killed it.
V: Yes, and the problem is?
C: It didn't happen.
V: I knew you see through that lie, the dragon didn't flew down but swooped down. But you know what they say, swooping is bad.

Modifié par Zack_Nero, 02 septembre 2013 - 09:53 .

[Xhon12]

A conversation between Cassandra and Vivienne:

C: I understand you were to be the next First Enchanter in your Circle?
V: Indeed, and I would have if not for... well, you know.
C: So you just want to end this war to reclaim your desired title?
V: No! I'm here for the sake of the mages!
C: Right. I'm sure it's not about power or prestige. After all, fame is very important in Orlais.
V: ... Have you seen the robes of the First Enchanters? Gor-geous!

[Fishy]

Varric : So are we going to hunt some mighty dragon today my famous Qunari friend !
Inquisitor : No
Varric : What about us drinking all night long  and telling you about some of my epic quest with the champion !
Inquisitor : No
Varric : What about you ?
Iron Bull : No

Modifié par Suprez30, 02 septembre 2013 - 10:15 .

[draken-heart]

Vivienne: What are you doing, Varric?

Varric: Coming up with a concept for a new story.

Vivienne: About the Inquisitor?

Varric: Of course! I want to come up with a legendary story about the mighty Qunquisitor and a dragon in a-.

Qunquisitor: I suggest you stop before I "re-educate" your cursed brain, dwarf.

Varric: Spoilsport.

[Parmida]

QunQuizzy: Huh.....I feel like we're getting close to an ambush...weird.
Varric: What? And you headbutting that guy in the tavern with your horns wasn't? Thanks to that, I now have a whole new chapter to write. The demand is high for this ****.
QunQuizzy: What are you talking about? That bastard had it coming! He mocked my horns! You're not mocking my horns are you Varric?
Varric: NOPE! Maker forbid! Don't want to end up like that poor bastard with gouged out eyes!
QunQuizzy: It'd be extremely hard to do that to you....maybe if you stood on a chair...
Varric: Then I'll be sure to never stand on any chair, don't you worry my horned, pissed off friend.

[Reznore57]

Varric : So what's your plan?
Vivienne : Getting everything back in order , and get my well deserved Grand Enchanter title.
Varric: I meant tonight , Madame....By the way, can I ask you a favor?
Vivienne : Are you going to make fun of my clothes , again?
Varric :Well...I don't know ..
Vivienne: Well I don't think I can help you then.
Varric .Fine .You look fabulous .
Vivienne.I know.Go ahead.
Varric : So once you get the mage Queen tiara back, could you make sure mages are never separated from their pets again .People are sensitive about their animals.
Vivienne:That's not really on my list of priorities , dear.
Varric :Well it should.At the end of the day , I think it's the small things that can really make a difference.

[Blackrising]

I(f your male Qunari PC is romancing Cassandra:)

Sera: "Say, Cassandra..."
Cassandra: *sigh* "Yes? What is it, Elf?"
Sera: "You've been spending an awful lot of time with the Inquisitor."
Cassandra: "We live on the road. Of course we spend time together."
Sera: "Riiight....so are the rumours true?"
Cassandra: "What rumours?"
Sera: "You know...does it match?"
Cassandra: *frustrated* "Does what match?"
Sera: "Are Qunari really as big as they look?"
Cassandra: "As big as...Maker's Breath, you did NOT just ask me that."
Sera: "You're not walking funny, so I guess it's not as impressive as I thought."
Cassandra: "Another word out of your mouth, Elf, and I swear..."

_____________

(or, alternatively, if your Qunari PC is female:)


Sera: "Hey, Cassandra."
Cassandra: "What is it this time, Elf?"
Sera: "Have you tried it yet?"
Cassandra: "Tried what?"
Sera: "Have you done it?"
Cassandra: "You can start making sense anytime now."
Sera: "You know what I mean. Done the deed. Bumped uglies. Fed the kitty."
Cassandra: "I advise you to stop talking. Right now."
Sera: "Come on, you can tell me. Have you grabbed the bull by the horns yet?"
Cassandra: "..."
Sera: "Done a bit of bull-riding?"
Cassandra: "..."
Sera: "D-"
Cassandra: "Stop.talking.Elf."

Modifié par Blackrising, 02 septembre 2013 - 10:54 .

[Parmida]

*Entering tavern*

Vivienne: *gasp* THIS.IS.SIMPLY.HORRIBLE! I'm not going to sit on those filthy chairs!
Varric: This is what real life is like, Choc-Ice. It'd be good for you if you tried it.
Vivienne: This isn't what I bargained for! You know that dwarf! Stop acting like you know me! I'll never give into simple peasant life for I'm neither simple nor peasant for that matter. I live as a queen should.
Varric: You know, I could make lots of interesting but not so interesting to you stories about you Choc-Ice.
Vivienne: Huh! Is that supposed to be a threat? Come back when you can match my power, little man.
Varric: Nope, I only need words to take down nobles and cause riots.
Vivienne: Hm....I like your style little man. You're a bit of a politician, like me.

[MKDAWUSS]

Varric ain't swearing enough in those dialogues.

[Warden Inquisitor]

Banter between Varric and Cassandra

C: What are you looking at Varric?
V: Hmm n-nothing, just keeping eye on it.
C: Your attempts at flirting has failed, dwarf. You will not be getting a story from me.
V: I'm talking about that knife of yours, Seeker. It makes Bianca nervous.

[Versus Omnibus]

H. Birdman wrote...

Varric: Sure is nice to get out in the open air and see the countryside.
Inquisitor: You didn't like Kirkwall?
Varric: Nah, too claustrophobic. It was like the same five places over and over again. Even the caves seemed the same.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[Lokiwithrope]

Since we don't know jack-squat about the new companions, I'm just going to do a few conversations with my made-up darkspawn companion called Lightspawn. Prepare to cringe.

Varric: "I'm just waiting for the moment where you turn on us and bite the Inquisitor's neck, turning him into a darkspawn."
Lightspawn: "I do not bite people. And it doesn't work like that."
Varric: "Come on, think about it. Don't deny that you don't want to taste the sweet, succulent juices of a tasty, tasty Inquisitor."
Lightspawn: I am not denying anything. I simply do not eat people."
Varric: "Then what do you eat?"
Lightspawn: "You don't want to know."
_____________

Varric: "You still haven't told me what you eat, Spawn."
Lightspawn: "This again?
Varric: "Come on, you got to tell me. I won't be able to tell your story right if you don't tell me the details."
Lightspawn: "And I will repeat myself. You don't want to know what I eat."
Varric: "I'm going to keep asking until you tell me, Spawn."
Lightspawn: "Fine. You've seen that pot in the camp, haven't you?"
Varric: "What, the one by... yeah, I know what pot you're talking about, but I don't see... oh no."
Lightspawn: "I told you you didn't want to know."
Varric: "I think I'll skip lunch. And maybe dinner."
_____________

Cassandra: "You're a darkspawn."
Lightspawn: "Is that a question or a statement?"
Cassandra: "Your kind's killed countless people. And you simply think working with the Inquisitor is going to change all that?"
Lightspawn: "I don't."
Cassandra: "Then why are you here? Why aren't you ravaging the nearest town, with the rest of your kind? Why?"
Lightspawn: "Do you think me ignorant? I know what my kind have done; I've lived with it for ten years. I know there is no forgiving their actions. I know there is no redeeming myself. And I know there is no hope or me or my kind!"
Cassandra: "Then why are you here?"
Lightspawn: "Because what my people lack, yours does not."

Modifié par Lokiwithrope, 02 septembre 2013 - 11:17 .