I am not set on a title.I am posting this here because many people here have excellent ideas on how the starchild ending should be rewritten and because my story sounded lamer and lamer as i kept on adding content.
I know if i make it too long it's going to be TL;DR all over,so i am trying to keep it as short as possible,and hopefully i can get a few ideas based on the responses.
Please note that I am only outlning the skeletal strucure of the story here.
- In the initaial singularity(the point where the universe was before it's current expansion) there were few corpuscules who communicated with each other akin to how DNA communicate.
- When the universe expanded these corpuscules were thrown out into the early universe.(The idea is that these strings are as intelligent as viruses)-
-By pure chanche, these corpuscules fell into orbit into HD 140283(Currently the oldest star in the universe,Measurements show it is older than the universe though.likely an error)
.- They coalesed with the second planet in orbit around the star.- as the corpuscules start to communicate using newfound electrons,they start on apath to sentience.
- In about a few millenia they advance enough to communicate using quantum bits using hydrogen in the planet's atmosphere.This continues as more and more(gaining intelligence) end eventually the are able to invoke the anthropic principle. -They are basically a gestalt of Q bits.
- They develop nanotechnology(allowing them to build,basically thier body) ,understand dark energy,Develop a magical new element neutronium(a ripoff of eezo),which allows them to leave thier planet.
- they scour the infant unierse but unfortunately find no ohter lifeform.Saddened, they start experiments with a newfound element ,Carbon which was plentiful and whose ability to from ultralong chains could be harnessed for many uses.-
While experimenting with carbon,they accidentally create a carbon chain capable of adapting to it's environment,merging with other chains to create complex strains working in unison for a single pursose.(AKA the first Nuclear material(DNA& RNA))
- Intrigued they regard this as a happy accident,and spread the carbon soup in their local system resulting in multiple species each shaped by their plantery conditions .
- In just a few million years(under the guidance of the corpuscle collective),the carbon chains advance into sentient beings capable of spacefilight,they settled many worlds and all was well
.- But eventually after some time they enterd into a bloody and costly war with another species resulting in the destruction of them both.
- This deeply concerned the collective and they made multiple adjustments to the "carbon soup" but all in vain.TYhe end resulkt was same.Organics would eveolve advance,in in the end they would destroy themselve through war,experimentaion, extremism and other things.Worse still they would ensalve lesser species sometimes completely destorying them if they didn't suit their needs. They also exibited a stong tendency to play "god'.They did things because they could,giving very little thought if they should
- - The collective obsercation conculded that organics were diven by emotions hard coded through evolution.Evolution decreed that to survive ont has to be the strongest and be able to vanquish their enemies.This was "veritatem ultimam" for organics and would always cause confilcy between organics.
o the Collective decided to create the Final solution to the organic problem.There was not a uniform consensus.One have of the collective decided that organic life was a blight that should be purged entirely,the other half decided that organic life should be left alone
.- They finally agreed on the best solution from their prospective.Organics could evolve, advance but at apex of their projected evolution, they would be harnessed into a synthetiuc body,whre evolutionary instincts could not permeate.Love hate,sex,wealth would have no meaning in this body.the entire conscousness devoted for the betterment of organic life in the galaxy.
This is the end of part 1.Please feel free to suggest anything you like.Also what do you think of the story?Was it worth you time reding?
Modifié par AkhkharuXul, 22 septembre 2013 - 04:47 .
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