You're still missing it. I never said that you speak for "all" i even quoted you when you said "most". I also never said you cannot know the opinion of the women you've encountered. What im saying is, you are one person, the most you have come encounter with in terms of women who play DA is at least 1-2% of the entire community. Therefore your assumptions based on personal experience cannot be justified at all. You have not come into contact with enough people to make that generalization.
I may be one person, but the Alistair, Zevran, and Kaidan fans are a whole lot more. Anecdotal evidence is a thing, and so are surveys and studies. It could be qunari fans aren't very vocal. I also point out that most people are women... and "most" can be about 51%, it doesn't have to be 99% or 80% or anything like that. But fine, I'll only speak for me, myself and I if you insist. I know I don't speak for all women and that is why I never claimed I did.
Want me to stop generalizing? Fine. I personally, and most of the people I know, do not prefer heavily built men. Culturally there are certainly places where the heavier look is preferred. Culturally there are places where softer-bodied men are preferred. And individually preferences are varied as the rainbow and then some. Majorities tend to fall within a certain spectrum of that rainbow, but there are always exceptions even within the same individual. Sandal 2.0's qunari still wasn't a hottie to me--but give him some nice abs and a wider face and his friendly look alone would make him a whole lot hotter than any other qunari I've seen yet.
But in design decisions, that hefty look isn't meant specifically to appeal to women the way that large breasts and lots of skin are meant to appeal to men in female characters, and if it does that is just incidental and a bonus (yay, they think he's sexy, more buyers!). (Again, pro wrestling fans are mostly male and if more women preferred the heavy muscle look, more women would be pro wrestling fans--nearly naked beefy dudes flexing and glistening everywhere, and you really can't get more sexualized than that. But most fans of it are male.)
It still doesn't mean that qunari are meant to be eye candy.
If they are considered eye candy by anyone (women or men) that's incidental and bonus points for the developers. Looking at the design itself, there's nothing that screams "come hither." And I repeat we aren't given any slow motion or camera pauses on their bodies so that we have time to check them out. Their behinds aren't emphasized, nor are their crotches. (We ladies get to see a lot of women's butts and cleavage when we play games). So even if they're sexualized (as in the developers went out of their way to try to make qunari sexy, as opposed to it being an incidental thing) it's still not anywhere near the same level; I don't think it's intentional, whether I agree that they are sexy or not.
It's kind of like saying the gunzerker in Borderlands 2 is sexualized because he's wearing a tight shirt and he's probably more ripped than a qunari. Some people may think so, but I would argue it's just to make him look tougher (actually asked someone what he thinks to get a male perspective, and he agrees with me in this case). Compare that with Maya the Siren in the same game, who has strategically placed open areas on her outfit along with tight clothing, and is of the more media-conventional "sexy build." Does that mean all women will not find the gunzerker sexy, or that all men will think Maya is sexy? Absolutely not. But there's a clear difference of intent there.
The intent behind putting women in sexy clothes and focusing the camera on their backsides is clearly to titillate. The intent behind showing off how huge qunari muscles are is to make them look powerful, and titillation of any given viewer is just a bonus as far as the developers are concerned. Can they still be considered sexualized? Perhaps, particularly if you live somewhere shirtless men are unusual to see, but that's not the intent that I'm getting from the design. Where I live, you see all kinds of guys shirtless in the summer to the point you probably don't think much of it, except for maybe wishing they'd put their shirts back on (in some cases because they seem to have gotten nasty sunburns from doing that, ouch) or wondering why they think it's okay to be shirtless in the middle of the grocery store.
I do believe whether or not you see them as sexualized is a cultural thing, but without the direct intent, and emphasis on sexual traits and behaviors, I'd have to say no. The only trait emphasized is musculature. A shirtless man may be just trying to show off his muscles to intimidate another guy, or he may have just taken off his shirt so he doesn't tear it in the brawl he's about to get into. But change his posture, have him look relaxed and give him a friendly expression and he's suddenly showing off his physique to a potential bed partner. So, presentation is part of whether or not something is sexualized.
To some degree, most characters in a video game are going to be at least a little sexy or attractive because of idealization. Is that sexualization? Yes and no. If it's intended to make them more physically attractive, then yes. If they are meant to be more intimidating, then... no. If both, then... yes again. It's entirely possible that the qunari were meant to both be aesthetically pleasing and intimidating. I don't get anything but "intimidating," and I suspect that that's the point--that any attraction to them is a bonus to the designers telling them they did something right. Yes, that would apply to the qunari men as well as to anyone else. That massive, powerful look is, at the same time, certainly not meant to be revolting, even if it's also not really meant to draw flocks of women and men to drool at the male qunari's feet.
Is it to the same level as Isabella or Morrigan? Definitely not, for various cultural reasons, and the qunari males have never invited you to have sexy times with them like both Morrigan and Isabella do. I kind of feel like that reinforces my point--they are sexy to some people, but not really sexualized in the sense that it's intentional--sexualizing a character or a person generally requires the actual intent to make them sexier, as in it's not just an incidental side benefit of whatever else was done. Some guys would think that a more muscular qunari lady was super-sexy. Does that mean that by making her more muscular she's being sexualized? I don't really think so. If they then gave her that two-strap top, I think I'd agree. So it's not like I don't see the point on the shirtless men...
Maybe it's just that I'm too socially conditioned to not see "shirtless man" as "rawr sexy?" Am I supposed to think the male qunari are sexier solely because they are shirtless, even though no other traits I'd be checking out are emphasized, even though they aren't posing nor is the camera making me check them out? It's just normal to me...
But, and here's the catcher: is all sexualization bad? I would argue, no, as long as it isn't to the "objectifying" degree of sexualization, where the given character isn't presented as a person any longer but merely something to ogle. While I expect characters to be dressed reasonably, and I definitely agree that as warriors, the qunari guys need to get some chest armor for crying out loud, and I don't want half-naked women or women who run around like it's Baywatch: Thedas edition, attractive characters are nice. I have no problem with cleavage as long as the camera isn't pointed down it when I'm talking to the person who's showing it off. I have no problem with Miranda's butt in itself, only the fact that I'm forced to stare at it more than once in ME2. I'd love for more guys than Varric to have strategically opened shirt collars, or even a few of them with some tight-fitting pants. (I feel like a lecher for saying that.) But I do not want crotch-shots, or breast-shots, or butt-shots. Again, if the assets are there, the people who are interested WILL notice, even if the camera doesn't point at them. Even if they aren't put on display with skimpy clothing (goes for men and women).
So yeah, long post short: Give me lady qunari without delicate builds and huge boobs who wear actual shirts, and I'll be happy for you if your gentleman qunari wear chest armor.
Edit: And oh yeah sexualizing something requires the INTENT to make it sexier. Not just the perception of it being sexy.