The concept of being a "lady" for my lack of knowing a better term. But just in terms of body types. Is it bad if, say, the elves/humans/dwarves have a body type that is more typically regarded as "traditionally" attractive in response to the Qunari woman's being less so? Should we be modest across the board? Allow for variations between the races?
I think the women should be designed according to the general aesthetics of the race. Qunari = tall and muscular, dwarves = short and burly (maybe a bit more plump/curvy), elves thin and willowy and maybe less curvy, humans could maybe be more in the middle with the "ideal" body type.
As for "ladylike," different people mean different things by that. Some people LIKE skimpy armor, and I respect that even though I personally dislike it. Others want things like skirt armors and battle heels--I don't want either of those, but the option would be nice for those who do, as well as for skimpy armor--give us options, make them equal statswise, or let us craft them so that they have equal stats. And why not make the women's skimpy armor have a male skimpy equivalent? I would use neither, but there are people who'd use both.
Some people were overjoyed at Hawke's Baywatch Butt Sway (not just men, but women too) and will argue vehemently that it was perfect. I rolled my eyes whenever I had her strolling around, because I thought it looked ridiculous for anyone not intentionally trying to call attention to her butt cheeks--sort of an attempt at seducing anyone around. Hard to take Hawke seriously as a character, for me, when she walked like that whether she was trying to seduce anyone or not. I suppose Varric was using some artistic liberties in his storytelling, there...
Ooooooh! I just thought of a perfect example to illustrate my own feelings on the subject!
I am helplessly addicted to the little flash game Heroes of Dragon Age, but I have to be honest, Isabela's original redesign and the way she posed on the opening screen and "cover art"- if you will- was mildly offensive to me. Her hip and bust size were not only increased (or seemingly so) from her character in DA2, the way she was posed with her arm above her head, her chest thrust out, and her butt cocked back just screamed "I could never actually fight this way! I am obviously only here to be stared at!"
However, with the latest update, Morrigan is the new headliner, and I think she was done perfectly. She's still scantily clad in her classic Morrigan garb, but posed in a manner that clearly says she's about to whoop someone's ass with a massive case of Waking Nightmare, and best of all she's clearly wearing a breast band to keep those puppies from popping out during a fight. In my opinion- she's a great example of still being sexy without being sexualized.
Morrigan's skimpy clothing, though, wasn't appropriate. The Korcari Wilds were repeatedly said to be cold. Characters pointed this out to you as you traveled through them. And yet, here was Morrigan, wandering around wearing next to nothing. Did being a Witch of the Wilds somehow make her immune to hypothermia? If she had been in a warmer climate, I'd be more okay with it because her attire does suit her character, but as practical as she is, it never made sense that she'd wear something so impractical for the climate she lives in. Not only would barely covering her chest be cold, but something that loose would have easily snagged on branches. Having little coverage also gives you plenty of places for ticks, fleas, mites, and mosquitoes to make a lunch of you. It seems to me she was designed wearing what she was solely to be sexy without regard to the climate where she was found. And indeed, cooler-weather clothing could still have been made to look sexy.
Sadly I've noticed a trend in Heroes of Dragon Age, wherein most women gradually more "sexed up" as she advances to Tier IV. Bethany suddenly has cleavage, etc. I still play and enjoy it, but I am annoyed that women mages have to wear revealing clothing, and Isabella is designed to show off her blocky pixellated cleavage to best effect (she's at JUST the right angle).
But hey, different strokes for different folks.
I think the real difference between "sexy" and "sexualized" is intention. Are you making this character to appeal to someone, or are you making this character dress a certain way because that's who they are? Also, assuming that it's in character for the character to be wearing a revealing clothing, are you considering what climate the character is from when you're putting them in skimpy gear? Because someone from high in the mountains is likely to dress warmly even if that person does want to show off a hot body. Etc.