When the female characters are cartoons and their "assets" are intentionally emphasized, and there is actual concept art of them in sexualized, Escher-esque poses, versus more believable action poses, then the hyper-feminized characters are not a compliment to attractive people.
whereas men can be portrayed as fat, as stick-thin, as burly, as normal... and no one calls them "that thing," or complains that "they don't fit my idea of what a man is."
I will also point out that those "feminine" characters in, say, WoW or other cartoony franchises (including actual cartoons, including Disney) often actually deform the female physical form so that she's improbably slender-waisted, especially when she's holding up huge breasts on that teeny tiny waist (and most--though not all--super-skinny women don't have large breasts to start with). Most of us couldn't even look that way while wearing a corset. The scary thing is we see this deformation so much in the cartoons that we accept it as normal--including in your case, using WoW characters as an example of how more realistically styled DAI women should, in your opinion, look.
Instead, most of the time we get characterization put into a conventionally pretty female character (she can have any personality but she HAS to be pretty), while the men around her have been characterized first, and then designed to suit that characterization (he acts this way, so let's make him look like someone with that personality/skill set). If that makes any sense to you.
I was hoping this might die but I can't let a few things go there. For one, I would absolutely call that thing a thing if it was a "man." Iron bull is a thing as far as I'm concerned. (I guess all rock men are going to be offended now also) I find super-alien hyper burly whatever the god is going on to be endlessly annoying, "male" or "female." The only reason those rocks or space squids or whatever escape attention is frequently because a lot of them are designed by nerds endlessly fantasizing about their ideal female GF, and rarely by a nerd thinking about his own appearance for this supposed GF.
The League of Legends female characters, are pretty much all cute. However, the men (mostly) get to escape attention and be giant zombies or whatever and it bothers me in that game. I wish they would make more effeminate looking men that aren't muscular. I want the men to make me feel inadequate because of how insanely attractive they are. I don't mind women going on and on about ugly a guy is or how his butt is too flat or whatever, it's fine, I'm sure they have preferences just like men have preferences.
Secondly I was using WoW to illustrate what I'd consider an alien that I could nonetheless identify as a woman, not necessarily what I'd want to see. I used Princess Zelda as an instance of what I'd like to see, but If you find Zelda to be overly stylized/feminine/escher whatever that term was then fine, but she doesn't seem to have an excessively narrow waist or whatever the... other terms were.
At any rate, it's not that they "need" to be represented as such exactly. I've seen characters that have been slightly off or just downright unconventional (Haruyuki Arita from Accel World) and it hasn't really affected me for the most part. However, it seems that your bigger concern than a man's wants to see an attractive female is that it is not equally valid for a women to desire the same or discuss in the same manner, which I have said is not the case in points one and two.
So many people seem hung up on the "thing" thing. I'm sure everyone has a point where some male or female gets so warped and transformed that it passes their boundary line. I don't know anyone in the known universe that looks remotely like a female Qunari. If it had simply been a very muscular identifiable female sans horns and skin and all the craziness I would of probably just referred to her as a very muscular female. Or a very large female or a large male, in fact, I could even say those things could probably be cool in a certain context. The female Qunari is downright mercenary in it's assault on ordinary appearances. For instance, what would you call this?
