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Could we please see more of the Lady Inquisitor?


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#7076
Puppy Love

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I find love at first sight more in the lines of lust at first sight

It's not really, it's a bit more than lust...  is hard to explain.  Lust and infatuated love are bit different.  One is sexual in nature, the other is far more emotionally centered.  It's a bit stronger and slightly different.


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#7077
Brass_Buckles

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Even from the "other side", I wholly support that message.

Because Feminism has so many interpretations, so many shades and colors, so many demands and so many individual understandings, that everybody who wants a reason to hate it will find some straw man (or weak man) argument to argue against it. So everybody will pick a definition that suits their argument.

 

However, I have yet to find a decent person who does not subscribe to the idea of equal rights or equal human rights. Because that's pretty clearly defined.

 

Feminism is not a hivemind. Every group has its extremists.  There are a handful of people who want to be called "egalitarianists" or something of the sort, even though many (not all) feminists basically want equal rights for all, too.  But again, feminism isn't a hivemind, or a cult, or a religion.  And if it were a religion, you can bet it'd have more sects than Christianity does today.

 

Ahem.  Tangent over with.

 

Since the topic has shifted to romance and all things mushy... how would you like to see a romance for the Lady Inquisitor play out?  Especially since straight and bisexual Inquisitors seem to have more romance than everyone else (kind of disappointed in that--I am straight, I usually play straight females, but I really wish things could have been done more equally, especially for the LGBT community--straight guys have plenty of games where they can get romance.  Not that I don't wish they could have had an equal number, too, but I feel ESPECIALLY bad for the LGBT folks...)

 

Personally, I know a lot of people love the "man who will protect you" trope, but you're the Inquisitor.  You're skilled, you're a leader with lots of people looking out for you (unless of course you tick them off).  I'd say it's pretty well established that you can take care of yourself as the Inquisitor, and I'd love to see at least one of the romances take that into account.  I want to see a man (or woman, for the lesbians and bisexuals) who'll be there when needed, but doesn't freak out whenever the Inquisitor gets into trouble.

 

I don't want to go in depth about other games, but I may be the only one who found it annoying, rather than endearing, when Garrus flipped out at Shepard risking her life in the Leviathan DLC, and then booby trapped her apartment in the Citadel DLC.  In the Citadel DLC, it was over-the-top enough to be funny, but also kind of insulting.  If you're going to get involved with someone like Shepard or the Inquisitor, you should expect them to be going into danger, frequently.  You can go along as much as they will allow.  You can also trust them not to take any unnecessary risks (taking risks in general is sort of a given)--you knew what you were getting into when you started that relationship, right?  Because this is someone who does dangerous things for a living.

 

I want to see a respectful relationship, even if the relationship ends up being just about sex and nothing else.  The Inquisitor is still the leader, still in charge.  I want her lover to treat her as a human being, not just a convenient sex toy to be thrown away when something newer and more interesting comes along (here's looking at you, Jacob).

 

I don't mind some conflict, but I'm tired of seeing Formerly Married With Kids Man Who Pines Over Lost Love as a romance.  I don't want my Inquisitor to be dumped, unless she actually does something in-game to merit it.  I don't want her lover to die horribly, unless it's foreshadowed and we aren't given any kind of hope of a cure/fix (oh hi, Thane, with your various teases at a cure that never came into fruition).

 

Other than that, serious relationships, amusing relationships, awkward relationships... they're all good.  And while it's not my cup of tea, I'd even certainly be okay with there being a romance that really is just about the sex, and not anything else.  Somehow I think Iron Bull's relationship will go deeper than that.  AND NO NOT THAT WAY GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!


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#7078
AlexiaRevan

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Well to be fair, it's not really true love.  Real true love is when a relationship gets past that butterfly stage, adapts, and becomes stronger and lasts until death.  It's complicated and rare.  Is more an infatuation, which a lot of people become addicted too, jumping from infatuation to infatuation.  That initial period does feel amazing.  The romance of true love at first sight is the hope of eternal and instant infatuation from the moment you lay eyes on each other til the day you die.  Isn't truly realistic, but is a nice dream.  And such relationships do sometimes survive butterfly death.  It can happen.

and that is what I mean . I wasn't speaking about Love at first sight that end up being passion or lust . I,m talking about Love at first sight that end up in a wedding and a happily after . The Lady who made the mod believed in these romances and she worked on books where her heroes (be them male or females).....she will always put them in this first sight kinda of Love . And they all last forever and ever (from her point of view and stories) . 

And we are talking about stories....not real life stuff  :P



#7079
Puppy Love

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and that is what I mean . I wasn't speaking about Love at first sight that end up being passion or lust . I,m talking about Love at first sight that end up in a wedding and a happily after . The Lady who made the mod believed in these romances and she worked on books where her heroes (be them male or females).....she will always put them in this first sight kinda of Love . And they all last forever and ever (from her point of view and stories) . 

And we are talking about stories....not real life stuff  :P

Which I acknowledged in the end, post was basically mentioning reality, the fantasy, where they separate and where they correlate and are the same.

 

RL version of the fantasy actually happening is instant infatuation that successfully survives butterfly death to true love.

 

The fantasy is eternal instant infatuation :P

 

The harsh reality is, infatuation usually not working out.

 

Is all I was saying.



#7080
Brass_Buckles

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and that is what I mean . I wasn't speaking about Love at first sight that end up being passion or lust . I,m talking about Love at first sight that end up in a wedding and a happily after . The Lady who made the mod believed in these romances and she worked on books where her heroes (be them male or females).....she will always put them in this first sight kinda of Love . And they all last forever and ever (from her point of view and stories) . 

And we are talking about stories....not real life stuff  :P

 

Eh.  I'm not a big believer in love at first sight.  I believe you can be attracted to someone at first sight, and I believe sometimes that attraction pans out.  However, that passion is not love.  It is infatuation, which does indeed stem a lot from lust.  Not that it can't grow into love over time, because in some instances it can.

 

However, let's keep this centered on the Lady Inquisitor, shall we?

 

In terms of story, I wouldn't mind having a Love at First Sight happen in a Dragon Age game... but I'd want for it to have some kind of twist.  Maybe you fall in love with the villain, for instance.  Maybe it's someone who's already in an established relationship/married/nobility and it can never be.  Maybe it turns out to just be lust, after all.  And maybe, despite any of these things or any number of them, you somehow can manage to make it work out after all, because it wouldn't be a romance without some kind of conflict.

 

(Note that for me, romance isn't the biggest part of the game.  I do greatly enjoy them, but I'd be fine if Bioware put out a game that had no romance.)



#7081
HuldraDancer

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I kind of understand some people wanting to protect someone though even though they know that person can handle themselves its just a line of going over board with it. I would personally like a romance where that could be done on both ends two people who can kick ass and watch one another's back and know they can handle things but still when things get really tough will be a little protective of you. I'd also really like to see the cultural differences play out as well in the DAI romance for example if you say romance Dorian with a Qunari or Cullen with a Dalish Elf or Cassandra with a carta dwarf it would be cool to see if the different cultures come into play at all. But most of all I want there to be concern on both sides of the romance like if something happens with Blackwall in a personal quest I want to be able to make sure he's alright and if something happens with the PC or their family or something personal to them I would like my LI to come up to me and make sure I'm alright and not turn it around to their problems if I say 'No I'm not alright'.


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#7082
SardaukarElite

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My suggestion when the feminist thing comes up is to not fall into that trap, I mean seriously.  The whole goal is to make you try and defend feminism and completely sidetrack everything and try to make you seem to only care about women, and try and manipulate you into proving their point.

 

Every time I see someone bring up feminism and attack it, without fail, everyone starts trying to defend feminism. 

 

They use this tactic because it's effective, it works, and people let them.  Everything that's bad towards women, can be approached as equal rights, without feminism.  Don't fall into defending feminism, just stick to equal rights, and human rights period, and stop trying to convince someone that feminism fits that.  The fact that is has Fem in the word implies caring about ones groups rights over others, even if that's not the actual intent or truth.  You can't win using that word, you just end up fighting about the term.  Is a pointless waste of effort, and is only helping the other side.  It's a trap with bait that is just too good.

 

Half the time I see someone say they're for equal rights / gender equality rather than feminism, it is immediately followed by saying women's rights have been taken too far. If someone takes your name and uses it as a slur, and your response is to find a new name you're getting into a knife-fight over largely irrelevant semantics. Nobody wins those fights.

 

(edit) I just spelt 'rights' as 'rites'. Stupid Pratchett.


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#7083
AlexiaRevan

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Personally, I know a lot of people love the "man who will protect you" trope,

I don't . Then again , I'm a lesbian . And I never had a man to protect me , it is quiet the opposite but I'm not going there lol . 

 

 

who'll be there when needed, but doesn't freak out whenever the Inquisitor gets into trouble.

Imeon and Leliana and Jaheira and Samara come to mind when I read this . I think I can safely say they  will go to hell with ya if you asked . 

 

 

when Garrus flipped out at Shepard risking her life in the Leviathan DLC,

I understand what you mean...but why you picking on garrus ? LOL I think actually all the Li do that . Even Liara . I just wish Samara was in my squad..wonder if she would have that line as well . 

 

I would have picked Kaidan (On Mars when he *demand* answer from ya)..I felt that so.....arghhhhhh . 

 

 

(here's looking at you, Jacob).

But the prizzzzzzzzzzzze!  :lol:  sorry sorry , couldn't help my self . 

 

 

Since the topic has shifted to romance and all things mushy... how would you like to see a romance for the Lady Inquisitor play out? 

well for one , I hope we get as much love talk as anyone else . And yes I'm going for Sera . I'm hoping it will feel natural and not cliché . And Also I'm hoping it won't end in a dreaded scenario (You die , she die , she leave ya , you ditch her for X reasons...etc) .

Also , I hope if they add some heavy theme (bad history for a charachter , it won't include R***) . If I decide to romance a male , I'm hoping that I won't feel like I'm babysitting him or even feel a certain difference in age . I don't know how to explain this...but I can feel such a thing and it can bother me enough that I won't pursue a romance .

I hope also that the gift system have been changed beyond 'give gift =+100 approval) and that actually the chosen person react to it in a manner that look normal . Either she like it or not...I rather have a honest answer that make sense then a scripted answer that leave me looking like this : <_<  



#7084
Puppy Love

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Feminism is not a hivemind. Every group has its extremists.  There are a handful of people who want to be called "egalitarianists" or something of the sort, even though many (not all) feminists basically want equal rights for all, too.  But again, feminism isn't a hivemind, or a cult, or a religion.  And if it were a religion, you can bet it'd have more sects than Christianity does today.

Sure, but ultimately it's irrelevant, because what you're hoping to accomplish with feminism is more important than the label itself.  The label has a whole bunch of connotations in others minds, defending it is a losing cause.  It cannot be won, and trying to fight for the word rather than the cause itself only plays into the hands of your enemies.  They use your self defining label to side track you from the issues and bait you to into a pointless losing argument that will mostly end with both sides looking bad, which works for them, because if both sides look bad, the status quot ultimately wins.  If something becomes a hindrance, you adapt, you don't bullheadedly fall into your enemies traps.  They want you arguing about feminism, rather than the actual problems, because that is how they keep the truth silenced.



#7085
Brass_Buckles

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I kind of understand some people wanting to protect someone though even though they know that person can handle themselves its just a line of going over board with it. I would personally like a romance where that could be done on both ends two people who can kick ass and watch one another's back and know they can handle things but still when things get really tough will be a little protective of you. I'd also really like to see the cultural differences play out as well in the DAI romance for example if you say romance Dorian with a Qunari or Cullen with a Dalish Elf or Cassandra with a carta dwarf it would be cool to see if the different cultures come into play at all. But most of all I want there to be concern on both sides of the romance like if something happens with Blackwall in a personal quest I want to be able to make sure he's alright and if something happens with the PC or their family or something personal to them I would like my LI to come up to me and make sure I'm alright and not turn it around to their problems if I say 'No I'm not alright'.

 

Don't get me wrong.  I understand the desire to be protected.  However, I also consider it a bit insulting for someone like the Inquisitor, or Shepard, who can clearly take care of themselves, and has lots of other people also looking out for them.  It's almost as if we're being told that they're too frail to take care of themselves... which, this is a fantasy world.  They totally can take care of themselves, and are totally not frail.

 

I'm still galled that Alistair would not let a romanced Lady Warden kill the Archdemon.  That was all kinds of messed up--there was NO WAY to take the final blow before he did, if you took him along and had romanced him.

 

And, I'm not saying "absolutely never tries to protect the Inquisitor" so much as, "respects the Inquisitor's ability to look out for herself, and while he/she would prefer to accompany the Inquisitor just to be sure, is able to trust the Inquisitor's judgment and ability when not tagging along, and does not randomly flip out because the Inquisitor did something dangerous, because the Inquisitor will always be doing something dangerous."

 

Worrying about someone you care about is normal.  And it's even okay to show it.  More than okay!  But how about instead of flipping out and/or booby trapping Skyhold, the love interest, oh, I don't know, just says "Come back home safely" or something?

 

I guess part of my issue is that I want to feel that my Inquisitor is seen as an equal to her romantic partner.  If there's any protectiveness, I'll agree with one thing, Huldra:  It should be two-sided, looking out for one another, protecting one another.

 

I think, mostly, I'm just weird that way, because MANY, MANY women love the idea of being protected and MANY MANY men love the idea of being protectors.  The problem is that in a fantasy world where women can be physically as strong as/stronger than men, it becomes an insult rather than a statement of love.  (And sometimes the way it's framed in real life is uncomfortably close to being 'men must protect what they own, and they own women with whom they are in relationships, therefore if a woman is owned by a man she must want him to protect her.'  I think it's more important to feel safe with the person you are with, than to feel somehow protected by them.  I don't want someone I'm in a relationship with to be arrested for assault and battery because he felt the need to "protect" me from some other guy.)


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#7086
Brass_Buckles

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Sure, but ultimately it's irrelevant, because what you're hoping to accomplish with feminism is more important than the label itself.  The label has a whole bunch of connotations in others minds, defending it is a losing cause.  It cannot be won, and trying to fight for the word rather than the cause itself only plays into the hands of your enemies.  They use your self defining label to side track you from the issues and bait you to into a pointless losing argument that will mostly end with both sides looking bad, which works for them, because if both sides look bad, the status quot ultimately wins.  If something becomes a hindrance, you adapt, you don't bullheadedly fall into your enemies traps.  They want you arguing about feminism, rather than the actual problems, because that is how they keep the truth silenced.

 

If the terminology doesn't matter, then stop arguing with me about it.



#7087
Puppy Love

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Half the time I see someone say they're for equal rites / gender equality rather than feminism, it is immediately followed by saying women's rights have been taken too far. If someone takes your name and uses it as a slur, and your response is to find a new name you're getting into a knife-fight over largely irrelevant semantics. Nobody wins those fights.

Is why you don't take a name.  Which is my point, you keep it about the issues, and don't fall into the labeling trap.  When people start attacking feminism they are trying to turn it into a semantics battle.  Only by not letting it fall into that, by not taking a label, and focusing of the problem at hand, can you win.  Lebels are a ridiculous distraction. 

 

The point is not to let it be a naming battle.  As long as you stay away from it, and acknowledge each other as people, and keep the focus on the problem, and equal rights and the problems preventing it.  There are no labels to get caught up on.  Effectively you're destroying that tactic to avoid the issue.



#7088
aTigerslunch

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Is it bad that I would protect my lesbian friends from idiotic men that think they are just women that haven't decided which guy?  Just curious on your ladies thoughts.  I know the one liked that I stood by her, as the other one did as well when it was a straight woman slandering her. (that was lost on me why she did that, but she is "hardcore christian". Dont want to demean anyone... not sure how else to put it, if there is a better way I will correct this post with right words here.)

 

 

 

EDIT:  Also, I never think I saw that moment.  I ended up killing the Archdemon I thought.... huh... I have to go back and look. I missed this point.  If I need to I will replay that, cause I dont remember him doing that. Considering myself, might not of been a big deal to me at that time I was watching that scene. I will go back and look.  It seems a bit problematic that he didnt let the female warden do that.  Though I did have him sleep with Morrigan.....  might of been a different result for me.



#7089
HuldraDancer

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Don't get me wrong.  I understand the desire to be protected.  However, I also consider it a bit insulting for someone like the Inquisitor, or Shepard, who can clearly take care of themselves, and has lots of other people also looking out for them.  It's almost as if we're being told that they're too frail to take care of themselves... which, this is a fantasy world.  They totally can take care of themselves, and are totally not frail.

 

I'm still galled that Alistair would not let a romanced Lady Warden kill the Archdemon.  That was all kinds of messed up--there was NO WAY to take the final blow before he did, if you took him along and had romanced him.

 

And, I'm not saying "absolutely never tries to protect the Inquisitor" so much as, "respects the Inquisitor's ability to look out for herself, and while he/she would prefer to accompany the Inquisitor just to be sure, is able to trust the Inquisitor's judgment and ability when not tagging along, and does not randomly flip out because the Inquisitor did something dangerous, because the Inquisitor will always be doing something dangerous."

 

Worrying about someone you care about is normal.  And it's even okay to show it.  More than okay!  But how about instead of flipping out and/or booby trapping Skyhold, the love interest, oh, I don't know, just says "Come back home safely" or something?

 

I guess part of my issue is that I want to feel that my Inquisitor is seen as an equal to her romantic partner.  If there's any protectiveness, I'll agree with one thing, Huldra:  It should be two-sided, looking out for one another, protecting one another.

 

I think, mostly, I'm just weird that way, because MANY, MANY women love the idea of being protected and MANY MANY men love the idea of being protectors.  The problem is that in a fantasy world where women can be physically as strong as/stronger than men, it becomes an insult rather than a statement of love.  (And sometimes the way it's framed in real life is uncomfortably close to being 'men must protect what they own, and they own women with whom they are in relationships, therefore if a woman is owned by a man she must want him to protect her.'  I think it's more important to feel safe with the person you are with, than to feel somehow protected by them.  I don't want someone I'm in a relationship with to be arrested for assault and battery because he felt the need to "protect" me from some other guy.)

 

I only said I could understand being protective of someone you love so long as they don't go over board with it.  The example you listed with Alistair still ticks me off personally espically when that happened to me our relationship had ended and he was going to be King, he does not get to chose what happens to me nor does he get to fall on the sword if he does not have too when he's suppose to be ruling a Nation. (though I know there are several people that will disagree with me on that) I didn't mind Garrus at the end of the Leviathan DLC since most of what was to to me was 'just don't worry me like that again' and I did look up what you were talking about in the Citdel DLC before and yeah I agree thats over doing it by miles. I don't mind an LI being a little protective of my PC so long as A I get the option to be a little protective as well and B the protectivness is not over done if that makes sense.  


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#7090
Brass_Buckles

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Is why you don't take a name.  Which is my point, you keep it about the issues, and don't fall into the labeling trap.  When people start attacking feminism they are trying to turn it into a semantics battle.  Only by not letting it fall into that, by not taking a label, and focusing of the problem at hand, can you win.  Lebels are a ridiculous distraction. 

 

The point is not to let it be a naming battle.  As long as you stay away from it, and acknowledge each other as people, and keep the focus on the problem, and equal rights and the problems preventing it.  There are no labels to get caught up on.  Effectively you're destroying that tactic to avoid the issue.

 

If the movement didn't have a name, people in support of it would have greater difficulty gathering themselves together on websites, blogs, rallies, etc. in order to support it.  Ideas would not be as easily shared.  When those ideas are not shared, they can't be spread.  People individually might come up with similar ideas, but those ideas would likely stagnate, or they'd quell their ideas in order to fit in with the perceived status quo, seeing as they had no group to call themselves part of and fall back on for support.  Like it or not, that is how people work.  The vast majority of us like to fit into a group.  If we fail to fit in, we try to conform.

 

Names are far more important than you seem to think, because they suggest belonging.

 

I repeat, if it is so unimportant that feminists be called feminists as opposed to anything else, why are you arguing against it?

 

The real reason that this kind of thing crops up isn't that these people care about semantics.  It's most often because they are either ignorant of the purpose of feminism, or they simply hate anything to do with women.  I support equal rights for everyone--I do have biases, and I try to overcome them.  However, although certain groups of feminists have branched out to support equal rights for all, it's still about equal rights for women specifically (and this encompasses all women--women of color, straight women, lesbian women, bisexual woman, transwomen).  Of course, when you talk about equal rights for WOMEN, whose rights are they going to be equal to...?  ... Oh right, MEN.  So it's also equal rights for MEN, although the MRA would have you believe otherwise.

 

Now can we get back to what we hope to see (or not see) for the Lady Inquisitor in terms of romance, please?  Because the semantics of feminism is not something I particularly care to continue discussing.  It's feeling more than a little hostile to me and I feel as if I'm being called upon to defend myself--something that you yourself claim that only trolls/enemies of equality would do.  So please just stop.


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#7091
Puppy Love

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As for the protecting thing.  It's fine and not silly taken in the right light.  If it's mutual protection and care, if it's equal there's nothing wrong with it.  You're companions during wartime.  If protecting each other is not part of the relationship, seems a bit silly.


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#7092
SardaukarElite

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The point is not to let it be a naming battle.  As long as you stay away from it, and acknowledge each other as people, and keep the focus on the problem, and equal rights and the problems preventing it.  There are no labels to get caught up on.  Effectively you're destroying that tactic to avoid the issue.

 

You're missing the point, saying you are for equal rights is a label. It might not been a name with an ist on the end, but it serves the same purpose. If you're taking the time to say I'm not that I'm this, then you're still in that knife fight.



#7093
Guest_Puddi III_*

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Is why you don't take a name.  Which is my point, you keep it about the issues, and don't fall into the labeling trap.  When people start attacking feminism they are trying to turn it into a semantics battle.  Only by not letting it fall into that, by not taking a label, and focusing of the problem at hand, can you win.  Lebels are a ridiculous distraction. 

 

The point is not to let it be a naming battle.  As long as you stay away from it, and acknowledge each other as people, and keep the focus on the problem, and equal rights and the problems preventing it.  There are no labels to get caught up on.  Effectively you're destroying that tactic to avoid the issue.

 

People who just want to obfuscate to win arguments aren't the only people who exist. Giving up a fine label just to deprive those people of their only joy in life is kinda dumb if you ask me.


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#7094
themikefest

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I understand what you mean...but why you picking on garrus ? LOL I think actually all the Li do that . Even Liara . I just wish Samara was in my squad..wonder if she would have that line as well . 

 

Nope. Samantha had no dialogue in the Levaithan dlc so she wasn't able to say anything to femshep even though she's not a squadmate. The same for Miranda and Jack



#7095
AlexiaRevan

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Yeah I know . Sorry , should've said those in my Squad and not LI . 



#7096
Brass_Buckles

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Alexia:  I picked on Garrus because I romanced him, like... three times.  I adore Garrus and I don't think I can even romance anyone else in Mass Effect.  But the things I like aren't above critique.



#7097
Ryzaki

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Doesn't Garrus do the whole boobytrapping with dude Shep? I remember it. I remember cause I lol'd at the hotscene trap fail.

 

Honestly he may have seen Shep die from his escape pod. I personally don't see anything wrong with the level of protectiveness he shows. It's not like came close to death he/she died and then was put together again. I'd be a wee bit overprotective after that too. Unless he goes an extra mile in the femShep version of the boobytraps with Zaeed thing?


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#7098
Puppy Love

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If the movement didn't have a name, people in support of it would have greater difficulty gathering themselves together on websites, blogs, rallies, etc. in order to support it.  Ideas would not be as easily shared.  When those ideas are not shared, they can't be spread.  People individually might come up with similar ideas, but those ideas would likely stagnate, or they'd quell their ideas in order to fit in with the perceived status quo, seeing as they had no group to call themselves part of and fall back on for support.  Like it or not, that is how people work.  The vast majority of us like to fit into a group.  If we fail to fit in, we try to conform.

There's a difference between identifying within the group, and when finding like people of like mind while recruiting, than there is with letting the arguments become about your identity in that group.  If you're in an argument, say online, and someone bad talks feminism, so what?  They're trying to skew the issue.  Your label matters when it matters, when dealing with people outside your label with their own perceptions, is best to just keep the argument off the label and on the issue.  No one knows you're a feminist unless you tell them, and let them use it to argue with you about that.  Is frankly none of their business who you associate with, and not important to the issue.

 

Which is more important to you, women being sexually harassed for example or defending the word feminism?  Because that is what it becomes when you do.

 

Feminism can be very strong, it can be an organization and cause, it can do everything you say, without falling into the feminism argument trap.  It can work great as an organizational tool.  Others perceptions of feminism, and their interpretation of it, is a losing battle.  They WANT that battle.

 

You can be a feminist, get together with other feminists, organize, associate, ect, defend the things feminism stands for, all without letting others use feminism as a tool against you.  When an argument shows up about an issue and feminism comes up it's baiting you.  Focus on the issue, don't fall into the trap of trying to defend the label, because whatever issue you're arguing on is probably infinitely more important.  Say, "yes some feminists take it too far, so what, now we were talking about this issue which is about human rights as they apply to women in this specific instance."

 

Which you kinda did, but you were doing it to people who already agree with you.  So I'm not sure why.  My only point is, defending it, when it's being used to sidetrack and bait, is simply falling into the enemies trap.

 

But really we're on the same side, and are simply debating tactics here, and is kind of silly.  I gave my advice, you can agree or not agree, but if you don't, try and pay attention to how often this tactic is used to side track things.



#7099
Brass_Buckles

Brass_Buckles
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-snip-

 

I said please let's stop discussing/debating it.  I think I said it twice.  This is the third time.  If you would like to continue the discussion, PM me, but be aware that after asking you to stop three times I might be less than friendly.



#7100
Lady Nuggins

Lady Nuggins
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Worrying about someone you care about is normal.  And it's even okay to show it.  More than okay!  But how about instead of flipping out and/or booby trapping Skyhold, the love interest, oh, I don't know, just says "Come back home safely" or something?

 

I guess part of my issue is that I want to feel that my Inquisitor is seen as an equal to her romantic partner.  If there's any protectiveness, I'll agree with one thing, Huldra:  It should be two-sided, looking out for one another, protecting one another.

 

I think, mostly, I'm just weird that way, because MANY, MANY women love the idea of being protected and MANY MANY men love the idea of being protectors.  The problem is that in a fantasy world where women can be physically as strong as/stronger than men, it becomes an insult rather than a statement of love.  (And sometimes the way it's framed in real life is uncomfortably close to being 'men must protect what they own, and they own women with whom they are in relationships, therefore if a woman is owned by a man she must want him to protect her.'  I think it's more important to feel safe with the person you are with, than to feel somehow protected by them.  I don't want someone I'm in a relationship with to be arrested for assault and battery because he felt the need to "protect" me from some other guy.)

 

Though it's not a Femshep romance (and maybe that's the reason why), my favorite romance ever with regards to that was with Cortez.  He literally has to drop his boyfriend off in a war zone all the time, and he does it.  Cheerfully.  He's extremely aware of the risks, and tells Shepard repeatedly how seriously he takes his job of getting Shepard safely in and out, but he never doubts Shepard's abilities to get himself back to the shuttle.  There is just this implicit sense of trust that they'll both take care of themselves when they're apart.  

 

That's kind of what I'm hoping for with Josephine.  I don't want to feel like she's the dutiful wife, wringing her hands back home.  I want to feel like we're two sides of the fight, her handling the tough diplomacy stuff while my Inquisitor hits a bunch of people with swords.   I want us to be bragging at each other over candlelight dinner about all the bloodshed we either caused or prevented.


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