I think it's necessary to engage her, specifically when it comes to Bioware. Not really in general. Only because I think she'd find friends and allies among the developers and their fans. She missed the mark on DAO, and makes it look as silly as Duke Nukem. A female fan engaging her would do a lot to bridge the gap here.
Well I'll say here what I already said in the dreaded thread: I don't think she missed the mark on DA:O at all.
Look, I love the City Elf origin--if I'm playing a female elf. Because as gross as the treatment of Shianni is, at least you're still playing a female character who rescues herself from her would-be rapists. I could not possibly ever play it as a male who gets to be the hero who saves a raped woman from, presumably, more rape. In the former scenario, you get to play someone who rose up in the face of adversity and fought off her own attackers. In the latter scenario, you get to be a noble white knight whose nobility is dependent on the brutal treatment of another character. No matter how well they wrote it, it's still too similar to many, many other versions of this trope, where the male gets to be viewed as a hero at the expense of a raped woman.
I have multiple female friends who can't play the City Elf origin, even as a female character. It hits home way too much. Yes, there is horrible violence all throughout the DA games. But most people who play these games are unlikely to have had parents who were killed by a sword, whereas there is a very high chance that many people who pick up the game are rape survivors. Rape should never be thrown casually into a story, especially not as a quick and easy way to establish good and evil characters.
Long story short, nobody's saying you can't enjoy the City Elf origin. I do. But you can't say that it doesn't have a whole lot of problems, and you can't say that it doesn't fit easily into the trope she's discussing, even if it's a better written version of that trope than most.
The fact that Bioware is exceedingly more progressive than much of the video game industry does not make it exempt from criticism. We see that from this very thread. If they wrote something that fits a harmful trope, they wrote something that fits a harmful trope--even if there is plenty of context within the lore that it fits into. That doesn't make Origins a horrible game, and it doesn't make Bioware a horrible company. It means they wrote one particular thing that is worth examining.