I think that maybe the female qunari should not be quite as huge as that lady bodybuilder, but still they should be big to match the male qunari. Actually I'd say that the bodybuilder woman doesn't really match the males because her muscles bulge out more than the male qunari muscles do (that we've seen), so she'd have to be toned down a bit.
That said, I do agree that sexy slim qunari lady doesn't really feel qunari to me. She might as well be a human.
As for the breeding program argument, it doesn't fly with me because I've raised calves before, all heifers. One of those heifers looked like a bull. Breed for beefy, meaty male animals (or people) and you're gonna get beefier, meatier female animals, too, for the most part. It is possible to breed in a greater sexual dimorphism if you actively try to, but in the case of the qunari that might be counterintuitive since the women are undoubtedly doing a tremendous amount of manual physical labor. Even if they aren't engaging in warfare, plenty of them will be using that muscle bulk for things like building, smithing, masonry, farming, etc.
In other words you will only get increasing size/trait differences if you actively breed for those. If you're just breeding for strength/muscle mass/bone density, then both sexes will end up that way because you will be actively picking the two parents who best meet your criteria to improve your chances of getting what you're actually breeding for. So in other words, it wouldn't make sense to be trying to breed huge warriors by having your hugest man have children with a comparatively slight and limber woman.
And in truth, there's no reason to assume that the warriors need to be as burly as the males are. I doubt real-world medieval/Renaissance folk, even when wearing full plate, were that bulky. That's something that results from real-world weightlifting/bodybuilding/steroid abuse. All that bulk really suggests more to me either "meat animal," or "used to pull heavy wagons/farm equipment." Both are disturbing thoughts.
Pretty much the only reason that qunari might intentionally breed in greater sexual dimorphism into their species would be because logistically it's harder to feed people who have gigantic muscles. They need lots more protein. Now, that is a possibility, but in that case I'd think they'd rather not bulk up their warriors so much because then sending them overseas or over land to fight would be a logistical nightmare--think of the massive amounts of supplies you would need to send along, namely meats and legumes but also other foods to maintain proper nutrition to keep the army going. It can be hard to keep a supply line going, and if all your warriors are hulking giants with massive muscles, well, you're going to be feeding them a lot more than you would if they were tall but limber.
Throw me in the camp of people who'd like to see lady qunari bulked up (with maybe some of the deformation that the men have--such as the scales/bumpy growths) and have the qunari women's build used on the human women, to make the human women look more capable as warriors/rogues. Then the elves could have a slight build as well (I'm guessing they already do, but still), so that they look, well... like elves.
Just my two cents.