Actually, presentation is everything.
No, it's not. If it was, we'd never have acknowledged much of the disappointment and frustration with ME3's endings, or with DA2.
Being angry or upset doesn't invalidate critique, and its an exploitation of privilege in many cases to decide to opt out of it. Within context of this topic, it's easy to opt out of the feminism discussion in games because so many games aren't really taking part. It's not easy, however, to opt out of negative views of women in games because it's so rampant, it means isolating yourself from games that you'd otherwise enjoy and leaving a significantly smaller gamer library available.
People can be perfectly calm and have absurd feedback that I think is irrelevant. People can be upset and have extremely valid feedback.
If you're ignoring people based purely on their tone, you're ostensibly denying yourself room for growth and perspective. If you're that catered to group, it's privilege because you're saying "I'm the power broker, so you better talk to me the way that I feel comfortable because otherwise I'm just not going to listen."
Naturally I prefer it when people are more collaborative than adversarial. But sometimes that isn't the case. Sometimes people are more upset about something than I can appreciate and it's not necessarily my place to say that they shouldn't be upset about it. But my preference is selfish. It's because I know if someone is being aggressive my defense barriers come up. But I'm getting better (I think) at not letting that motivate me to simply dismiss since it may be a disservice not just to the person, but to myself, BioWare, and the game we're making.
If I start every criticism with "dudebro game X..." how seriously is somebody going to take the criticism?
As far as angsty commentary go, it's hardly the worst I've seen (I've once been told I should have been aborted as a fetus to ensure competent QA worked on Dragon Age. That's being rude to the point where I'm not interested in talking much). Someone using the term dudebro, especially when they're replying to a post that made them angry, isn't worthy of dismissal in my opinion.
I'm sure I'm on a few ignore lists for calling that out, in this very thread.
For the record I had removed your post since I considered it unnecessarily focusing on someone's tone, while frankly being a bit of an ass about it. http://geekfeminism....i/Tone_argument
You opted to not only fail to recognize why the poster might be upset (as that's the way I read it), you then decided to nitpick the style of presentation rather than the points made within.
However, if I'm trying to appeal to somebody for something I want, I don't open the dialog with "Hey, you know you're a douche bag for not having (insert whatever here)"
Did this happen?
Here's the reality though, I don't find the term "dudebro" offensive in large part because I know when someone says that, they aren't referring to me. You spend the rest of your post talking about how you're not a bad guy and you aren't like those that were brought up (this is a derailment by the way, you're shifting the discussion away from the thread's topic and making yourself the focus).
So yes, how one presents their criticism matters. I'd go so far as to suggest that if the criticism is presented in an extremely negative vein, it will not only be ignored, but will be deleted from the venue, and the person would be asked not to come back, enforced with ban, in the case of online communities. Inappropriate behavior is inappropriate, no matter what the subject matter is.
I find your post to be in an extremely negative vein. I removed the other one (mostly because I know it'd just cause more trouble, even if you are not aware that it will), but not this one since I've opted to reply to it and still actually took the time to read it despite that.