Except that it's not really just 'pretty' girls that get this treatment. It's the bookish big glasses socially awkward girls that fall into every nerd stereotype as much as the boys.
I wouldn't mind that, personally. Still a step up from my usual treatment. 
I wouldn't mind that, personally. Still a step up from my usual treatment.
I'm sorry to hear that. 
I have a serious problem with this attitude. Male 'nerds' and 'geeks' don't get a free pass for misogynistic behaviour because of their shyness and societal persecution. Let's not forget that female geeks and nerds are just as shy and awkward, topped up with that wonderful attitude in society that their attraction to nerdy and geeky things is somehow wrong.
How about we (collectively, nerds included) treat everyone as people first? Not their gender, not their label (nerd, jock, whatever).
I've found so-called geek culture to be just as misogynistic as more conventional dudebro cultures (e.g. jocks), with the added bonus that geek culture oftentimes comes up with the justification that they were treated badly because they were different. Doesn't make it better. Makes it worse, IMO.
I wouldn't mind that, personally. Still a step up from my usual treatment.
Thing is it's less 'instead of' and more 'added onto'. You get all the isolation and awkwardness of being a geek except half the population of other geeks think you MUST be faking and couldn't possibly have life experiences at all similar to their own tragic pasts.
Thing is it's less 'instead of' and more 'added onto'. You get all the isolation and awkwardness of being a geek except half the population of other geeks think you MUST be faking and couldn't possibly have life experiences at all similar to their own tragic pasts.
I find this aspect kind of perplexing, because I grew up in a place where there were no geeks. There was no such thing as geek culture. If I read comics or played video games, I kept my mouth shut about it because it was the equivalent of saying I collected chicken droppings. Later on in HS, playing videogames was OK, but only so long as it was the right kind of videogame.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Thanks.
Thing is it's less 'instead of' and more 'added onto'. You get all the isolation and awkwardness of being a geek except half the population of other geeks think you MUST be faking and couldn't possibly have life experiences at all similar to their own tragic pasts.
Only half will be judgmental? That's great!
If a pretty girl sat down at a table full of single, young male 'geeks,' so to speak, I'm pretty sure they would assume she's there more-or-less there out of pity.
This is kind of delicate. Because 99% of the time, I would bet the girl is simply geniuinely trying to be nice and friendly to people. But for the 'geeks,' I think it would be percieved as something different.
Much as I hate to say it...the stereotype is probably at least somewhat true. That male 'geeks' or 'nerds' or whatever are shy and awkward around girls and tend to be somewhat insecure in general. At least when they're younger.
Partly true? Seriously?
I was always horribly awkward around people as a kid, and I'm a woman. I was (and remain) very geeky. So you're saying that, by choosing to try to hang out with the geeks for no other reason than that I thought we shared interests (and they always pushed me away or were jerks to me, possibly because the whole female thing, and possibly because I was just as if not more awkward than they were) I was somehow making it all about me, all about wanting attention from them? And therefore, making it all about them...
No. I didn't want to be friends because I wanted attention from boys. There were oodles of more attractive boys in high school, some of whom I had crushes on and none of whom were interested in me (at least that I know of). And I can't objectively speak for my attractiveness levels, but on the whole I'd argue I'm one of the plainer people out there. No, I wanted to be friends. I didn't want to be treated like a princess, I just wanted to fit in with someone (guess what, years later I still don't). Most of the "geek girls," regardless of their subjective attractiveness levels, likely feel and felt the same way I did--just wanting somewhere to fit in, someone to talk to because we were horribly awkward, lonely people too, and yes, we thought dragons and video games and computers were awesome. But I, and I'm sure a lot of other women and girls, was pushed away. Maybe these "poor boys" were just feeling awkward about some random girl being interested in the same thing, or maybe they didn't want to share "their" domain with anything female. I don't know. I suspect that more harm was done to me by pushing me out of conversations and just generally having even the geeks be mean to me than has ever been done to them by having a girl or woman show interest in the same sorts of things they were interested in.
And, I'd also like to point out that these less-attractive (by whomever's standards) girls and women who hang out with geeks are somehow accepted as "more geeky," but they're also not at all the type of girl/woman the boy/man-geeks want to date. But if she's attractive enough that they'd consider dating her, she's suddenly not a real geek and only there for the attention. But oh, no, wait, if she's not attractive she's still there for the male attention. I'm with one of the previous posters: It's horribly egotistical to assume women only want to spend time with you for the attention. Believe it or not, men and women can be just friends, and people tend to gravitate toward other, like-minded people, to be their friends.
Sorry if that got too personal, but the "poor little geek boys being taken advantage of" thing is just... really old, and really false. There might be some people out there who'd do it, but by and large there are bigger and more delicious fish in the sea for those who have the appropriate bait, if fishing's their end goal.
I consider myself a member of the geeky/loner guy crowd (6'3" over 300lbs in high school and instead of wrestling or playing football.... handegg for you Euro folks I was in marching band) and when I first started dating this girl after high school I thought she was with me out of pity as she was 6' tall, super duper in shape (volleyball and soccer player as well as a judo blackbelt) and seemed way too outgoing and willing to talk and hang out with someone like me.
My brain rationalized it at first as it was either pity or she lost a bet.
I didn't want to be treated like a princess, I just wanted to fit in with someone (guess what, years later I still don't).
Loved your post, as always Brass, and just wanted to say that no matter what you will always fit in with US!
I consider myself a member of the geeky/loner guy crowd (6'3" over 300lbs in high school and instead of wrestling or playing football.... handegg for you Euro folks I was in marching band) and when I first started dating this girl after high school I thought she was with me out of pity as she was 6' tall, super duper in shape (volleyball and soccer player as well as a judo blackbelt) and seemed way too outgoing and willing to talk and hang out with someone like me.
I highly doubt anyone ever dates anyone "out of pity." Like... I'm pretty sure people choose to date people they are interested in and want to be with. I don't know, and have NEVER known, any women who date out of pity. Do you know any MEN who do that? I doubt it.
So pat yourself on the back - you had attracted a lovely girl! 
I highly doubt anyone ever dates anyone "out of pity." Like... I'm pretty sure people choose to date people they are interested in and want to be with. I don't know, and have NEVER known, any women who date out of pity. Do you know any MEN who do that? I doubt it.
So pat yourself on the back - you had attracted a lovely girl!
Out of pity I suppose not but I have known (not friends with) guys that went and dated certain girls cause they lost a bet or wanted to embarrass said girl.
We dated for 2.5 years (broke up cause we each went back to our hometowns... still chat like every night) and I brought up the whole "pity" type issue thing and I caught a real nasty slap for that.
I highly doubt anyone ever dates anyone "out of pity." Like... I'm pretty sure people choose to date people they are interested in and want to be with. I don't know, and have NEVER known, any women who date out of pity. Do you know any MEN who do that? I doubt it.
So pat yourself on the back - you had attracted a lovely girl!
No, not out of pity, but I recall once upon a time a boy agreed to be my boyfriend... on a dare/bet. Then made fun of me over it relentlessly. Kids are cruel.
No, not out of pity, but I recall once upon a time a boy agreed to be my boyfriend... on a dare/bet. Then made fun of me over it relentlessly. Kids are cruel.
Yes they are. Adults as well.
Actually, this is another example of marketing making assumptions about what women like and are interested in watching.
What Hunger Games is about = Katniss fighting for her life and fighting against a corrupt regime while struggling not to lose sight of what is morally right and what kind of person she wants to be.
What advertising for the films tells us Hunger Games is about = Katniss is caught in a love triangle between two hot boys. Who will she pick?!
"your breads are getting cold"
Whether advertising was doing that or not the movie did seem quite "chick flick-y" to me. And by that I simply mean that being the main target audience.
Like her:
Or at least show us both
like most movies are for white males.
In fact I don't think I got that from advertising or I wouldn't have dragged my brother along, which I felt slightly bad for.
Gaming is a cool hobby... in some circles. In my line of work, gaming is not an acceptable hobby.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate that my job affords me a large amount of assurances that no one will judge me for my gaming
(It's not a coincidence that most people in high school knew me as "Basketball guy" instead of "Gamer guy" either)
Yea it depends on circles, what country you live in, etc. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable being openly gay(mer) for many reasons.
The more mainstream something is, the more acceptable it is, like Call of Duty and mobile bird games, but peer shunning or not, I don't think gaming is ever a good thing to list a hobby in a c.v. unless you're working in a relevant field.
Yea it depends on circles, what country you live in, etc. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable being openly gay(mer) for many reasons.
The more mainstream something is, the more acceptable it is, like Call of Duty and mobile bird games, but peer shunning or not, I don't think gaming is ever a good thing to list a hobby in a c.v. unless you're working in a relevant field.
I don't mean listed on a cv. I mean, thing you would talk about at work as a hobby.
Out of pity I suppose not but I have known (not friends with) guys that went and dated certain girls cause they lost a bet or wanted to embarrass said girl.
When men show interest in me, I pretty much assume they want to trick me and this scenario will happen:
No, not out of pity, but I recall once upon a time a boy agreed to be my boyfriend... on a dare/bet. Then made fun of me over it relentlessly. Kids are cruel.
I actually know two girls who do/did something similar before one was just mean and spiteful the kind that would go after a guy she knew you liked and the other one was too meek and nice to turn someone down though she did date someone just to make an ex jealous 
Back in high-school I used to have guys ask me out for their friends and laugh in my face before they even got an answer it was more annoying than hurtful mostly. So sadly both men and women go out with people because of things like spite and pity :/.
I find this aspect kind of perplexing, because I grew up in a place where there were no geeks. There was no such thing as geek culture. If I read comics or played video games, I kept my mouth shut about it because it was the equivalent of saying I collected chicken droppings. Later on in HS, playing videogames was OK, but only so long as it was the right kind of videogame.
I grew up when there was only 'the smart kids' and 'the tough kids'. To add to the bundle I also grew up in a working class neighbourhood and when video games weren't common in the home and I learnt typing at school not computer science! I played my first games on other peoples computers (the first one I ever played on the computer was 'war games' - 1984.) and on game and watch kind of games (my technologically illiterate parents just thought those game and watch games were the latest toy not anything that could be divided along gender lines), it was pretty popular at school to have them. We would swap the different ones and take them home for the weekend. No body got laughed at for that. As an adult looking back - I thought as a kid my approach to game was similar to how I played Lego, something separate from my gender, I just played.
And awwww Nefla I'm fortunate that I never had that feeling, thanks to the fact all the possible nasty types who may have done that to me had left school before my final year (that says more about the socio-economic area I grew up in though.)
When men show interest in me, I pretty much assume they want to trick me and this scenario will happen:
*snip*
While I can't say it involved dates, I've had that kind of thing happen.
"your breads are getting cold"
Whether advertising was doing that or not the movie did seem quite "chick flick-y" to me. And by that I simply mean that being the main target audience.
Like her:
like most movies are for white males.
In fact I don't think I got that from advertising or I wouldn't have dragged my brother along, which I felt slightly bad for.
I should listen to my sisters nagging and watch hunger games just to see what is about.
I was in the book store yesterday for the first time in ages. Went straight to the scifi section as I always do but on the way I went past the Young Adult and paranormal romance sections, both were massive and way bigger than scifi and fantasy combined (don't get me started on the scifi section having only fantasy and urban fantasy novels and very little scifi). Whilst I'm not a consumer of YA or romance in general, I would hope that it's depiction of women is more equitable than I am lead to believe by the marketing (and by some of those covers - ugh).
And 'Scifi Bridget Jones' oh dear...
I was in the book store yesterday for the first time in ages. Went straight to the scifi section as I always do but on the way I went past the Young Adult and paranormal romance sections, both were massive and way bigger than scifi and fantasy combined (don't get me started on the scifi section having only fantasy and urban fantasy novels and very little scifi). Whilst I'm not a consumer of YA or romance in general, I would hope that it's depiction of women is more equitable than I am lead to believe by the marketing (and by some of those covers - ugh).
And 'Scifi Bridget Jones' oh dear...
You visit DA or ME forums and what you see who will be romanceable. Biggest concern are Cassandra and Cullen bangable. Mike Laidlaw said "Guy been in 2 games, lets give him a chance." Cullen get romance only because people want it. Garrus and Tali get it only because people asked. David Gaider said he don't even want do romances but so many people want it, so he must. So say what you want romance is one of most important part of DA, sometimes to ridicules levels. So it's not surprise we have same in books or movies.
You visit DA or ME forums and what you see who will be romanceable. Biggest concern are Cassandra and Cullen bangable. Mike Laidlaw Guy been in 2 games, lets give him a chance. Cullen get romance only because people want it. Garrus and Tali get it only because people asked. David Gaider sad he don't even want doing romances but so many people want it he must. So say what you want romance is one of most important part of DA, sometimes to ridicules levels. So it's not surprise we have same in books or movies.
Perhaps I am misunderstanding your post but it sounds like you're saying since because some of us enjoy romances greatly in the game its the only part that should be advertised to women that there is nothing else that female gamers could get from the game other than romance so that's why marketing doesn't carter to us unless its shoving love stories down our throats. Is that correct? Cause that comes off as rather rude and seems like your taking it to a fairly extreme side with romances in the games being a concern. If I misunderstood what you meant I apologize
Apart from saying give Mike Laidlaw a chance, which is a fair point. I actually have no idea what 9TailsFox was inferring by the rest of the post. So I hesitated to respond to it.
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