Honestly, I do get that Dorian has issues and that is why he behaves like he does. The things is the way I see it my Lavellan is taking a way big chance with him too. Dorian is human and Tevinter, so he had to get past an awful lot of ingrained prejudice in his own mind, plus the fact that if he ever entertained ideas of one day returning to his clan, if he takes Dorian as a lover that would be impossible. When we had the talk about slavery, whilst Dorian admitted that he hadn't really thought about it much before coming south, he does pretty much defend the institution. Bearing in mind he's an elf, Lavellan found that pretty hard to come to terms with as well. The fact is things wouldn't have gone as fast as they did if it hadn't been for Mother Giselle having a go about Dorian's influence on the Inquisitor. That really got his back up because they can make him their religious icon if they must but he sure as hell isn't go to let them dictate who he's friends with.
Glad to see another Lavellan who feels that way. While Dorian has a good soul and a noble heart, he does say some thoughtless things that can irk a Lavellan of any gender, even if they love him romantically or consider him their best friend.
Dorian: Tevinter is where Thedas truly began.
Lavellan: No, Elvhenan is where Thedas began.
Dorian: I see you let the mages govern themselves. What's next? Elves running Halamshiral?
Lavellan (flushes furiously): ... That was literally my next goal, actually.
Dorian: (Defends slavery)
Lavellan: Spoken by the human noble born to a family who owned slaves instead of being one, to the elf whose people have millennia of baggage regarding slavery.
I do agree though about Mother Giselle hurrying things along. My female Lavellan was polite to Dorian, but detached because of her own prejudices regarding Tevinter. My male Lavellan is very slow and cautious in matters of the heart, but was especially so with Dorian because he was trying to figure out if the (Tevinter) human noble he was growing to like really liked him (the elf) as a person or a lust object. Then Giselle comes along saying, "I know you two are very close," and both Lavellans are like "We are?" Although for different reasons. (Female is like, "I've never even been that nice to him! Does he really consider me that close a friend?" Male Lavellan's heart leapt in his chest.) Like you though, being told who you can be friends with (and in my Lavellans' case, being asked to lie to someone who has been open and honest with you all along), did not sit well. But by the end of the personal quest Dorian makes it clear he values the Inquisitor very highly (romantic or platonically), so that hurried that friendship/relationship along.
Now with the amulet, he was thinking along the lines of what the lads do back in the clan when they want to let someone know they're interested. He didn't think Dorian would appreciate him butchering a deer or wolf on his behalf but it seemed like the amulet was something with a comparable significance to Dorian. Normally the gift is reciprocated so when Dorian says there is something waiting for him in his room, he wasn't quite expecting what he got. I don't know how anyone else plays it, but so far as my clan is concerned, people pair bond for life but gay partners are rather thin on the ground, so he doesn't have any experience of sex but does want a proper relationship. Dorian coming on strong and encouraging him to be "bad" isn't what he wanted to hear at all, which is why he asks to slow it down. (I have to admit I cheated just so I knew what I was missing but I reloaded because I had to stay true to the character I had created).
Nice! That's actually a really interesting way of playing it. I hadn't thought of it that way.
For the amulet, I just figured my Lavellan went and got it because he knew Dorian wanted it and he was in the position to get it.
I figured too that Clan Lavellan didn't have that many same-sex pair-bonded partners and didn't talk about it that much, but then my Lavellan was always kept busy and apart from everyone as Keeper's First anyway, so that's a little moot. Now he likes someone "that way" for the first time in his life, though he's slow and shy about it because it's outside his comfort zone, and of course Dorian doesn't help since he keeps coming on too fast and too strong. (You can't even imagine how many times my Lavellan spent hours mustering the courage to talk to Dorian about matters of the heart - ask for a kiss, talk about the relationship, etc - only for Dorian to say something "fawning" that took the wind right out of his sails (remarked that he can't believe no one has rubbed his shoulders and fed him grapes, remarked that he loves watching him walk, remark that he should go to his chambers as there's a surprise there, etc) and left his words stuck in his throat, his tongue-tied, his face burning, and his feet clumsy as he made a hasty retreat.) Unfortunately, my Lavellan's not so naive that he doesn't guess exactly what Dorian has planned as a surprise in his chambers, so he's been putting it off for a while.
I suppose it's just that the mechanics of the game are such that after the sex scene, you don't get many genuine opportunities to discuss things with Dorian and we never get a follow up to the slowing down scene, which is a pity. So after many visits where I simply indulged in a kiss (because I do love the look on his face all through that scene and it is obvious he does adore him), I finally plucked up courage to do the "talk about the future" and him mocking my lad for his sentimentality and going on about calf eyes did seem rather unfeeling and inconsiderate (particularly when you consider that big eyes are meant to be a feature of elves and my lad does have lovely big green ones, that Dorian had previously admired), bearing in mind that by now you'd think Dorian would have started to trust him a bit more.
Oh great, that's something to look forward to for my Lavellan. -.-
Anyway, I've been playing through again tonight and as always I popped into see Dorian before shutting down for the night and gave him his goodnight kiss. We're hanging in there, my Lavellan and I, because we think Dorian is worth it.
Amen.