Ok, just an observation. Is the angst from Xil and Lob and others because ya'll had some head cannon idea that the Dalish were elves that standoffish but would have good relations with non Dalish?
It is a central theme to their entire design. They don't associate with other cultures, they are isolationists. They are defined by their very isolation. They don't associate with other cultures. This doesn't make them evil or antagonist, just not friendly.
If you like the Dalish, I would think their desire to be apart from other cultures is their appeal. It is largely what makes them unique and even the appeal I have regarding playing a dalish is this characteristic. If you take away the isolationist component to them, they are just tall dwarves with long ears.
No, it's because the Dalish are varied and different, and some of us are hoping that the Dalish aren't simply antagonists. I'd like to see the elves - Dalish and Alienage inhabitants alike - be given their own perspectives.
Part of the appeal about the Dalish for me is their refusal to submit and surrender what makes them who they are, despite the trials and tribulations they face because of it; even Merrill, who cared about the elves of the Alienage and had no problem with non-elves (given her friendships with Varric and Isabela), was still Dalish. Even when Anders tried to convince her she was wrong, she refused to abandon her beliefs.
Being Dalish in Inquisition appeals to me. I'm hoping for an elven point of view in the storyline, as well as the agency to help the elves when it's possible. I'd certainly hate to be pigeonholed into helping one of the human factions vying for the throne of Orlais while the elves continue to suffer.