My objection to the friendship/rivalry system is that you end up meta gaming in order to ensure you get the result you want with them. The first time I played DA2 I didn't know precisely how the system would work, so I ended up losing Isabella at the end of Act 2 since I hadn't got her as far as 50% on either scale. (I found it easier to friend than rival her in subsequent games). I nearly didn't complete my romance with Fenris because initially he was headed for rivalry in Act 1 but then my Hawke became rather less pro mage freedom in Act 2, and of course I was very supportive of his fight against Denarius, and so we swung back towards friendship. So it took until nearly the end of that Act (and finding the book of Shartan) for me to get to the point where we bedded. Then it took most of Act 3 (and the Sword of Mercy) before we got far enough along the scale to trigger the reconciliation scene. I must admit it was with a degree of satisfaction that I finally got Fenris to admit to loving a mage.
However, my biggest problem was with Anders. Because I was so supportive of his views in Act 1 and kept helping mages with him in tow, I quickly got to full friendship, but thereafter my Hawke started having serious doubts about total mage freedom and in particular Anders' relationship with Justice but there was no adjustment in Anders' view of me. So in subsequent run throughs I was far less sympathetic from the start, just so I could find out what he would be like when rivalled. Actually I preferred it at the end when Justice was telling me to clear off and leave Anders alone and he appeared far less in control of his actions than is apparent on the friendship path.
The oddest thing that occurred in another play through concerned Merrill. I had flirted with her once and then pursued a romance with Fenris (again). Things remained pretty neutral with Merrill throughout Act 2 and only hit 50% rivalry (which must be the trigger for the next stage of romance with her) in Act 3. I had already reconciled with Fenris when Merrill suddenly turned up on my doorstep wanting to take things further. It was probably a bug but it was possible to sleep with Merrill and have both her and Fenris believe they were in a romance with Hawke. Very strange. However, if the romance had not been tied to the friendship/rivalry scale it would never have happened.
I preferred the system in DAO. After all you give gifts in DA2 to improve the friendship/rivalry rating. At least in DAO you felt more in control of what was happening. You could even initiate intimacy with certain characters when you chose, rather than waiting to be summoned or having a surprise visitation at your home. It was even possible to change your mind if you realised the romance was a mistake, something that you couldn't do in DA2. And you certainly didn't have to be clairvoyant to enjoy a relationship and not so much as look at another character if you wanted a romance to proceed (Sebastian!)





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