79 réponses à ce sujet

[ajma420]

A QME walks into a bar and asks for soup.

 

Emergency... Induction... Port...

[PresidentVorchaMasterBaits]

what's three feet tall and can't turn around in hallways?

 

a volus with a spear through its head.

[Teh_Ocelot]

Has anyone mentioned the RNG? It's a pretty horrible joke...

[Heldarion]

Geth Prime.

[rspanther]

I posted it a couple of times but I kinda have the feeling this one gets better the more often it is told:

 

A Salarian comes in a bar and say "I have a decoy". Right next to him a Geth uncloaks and says "I have 3, LOL."

:3

Boy do I feel really stupid. It took me awhile to figure this one out.

[Moby]

Geth Prime.

You stun me every time, you swine
Like a Geth Prime, every damn time

[Jaded4Chaos]

Not really a paradox, It's just a double negative.

I loled at geth shoe joke though.

I didn't come up with any of them but I think it fits in the paradox realm.  Seems like a self-contradictory statement that at first seems true.  I'm no expert though so couldn't say for sure.

[TheMajk73]

What did the QME say to the N7 Demolisher?
I´m so fresh you can chuck my nades.

What did the AA say when she stole the kill?
I´m so asari.

Which James Bond-film do the batarians consider the best?
Four your eyes only.

[Credit2team]

what's three feet tall and can't turn around in hallways?

 

a volus with a spear through its head.

haHA! vertically challenged

[sorvisto76]

Why does salarian have difficulties to hit the target?

Try to aim and lick your eyes, at the same time.

Why does salarian have difficulties to get the job done?

Too busy to catching flies.

[Credit2team]

A BiowareDev witnesses a massmurderer. When the police asked him why he didn't try to stop them, he replies "Working as intended"

[dudemacha]

Nice sig ^

[PresidentVorchaMasterBaits]

what kind of music do synthetics listen to?

 

geth metal.

[neon skink]

Asari - Why is there nowhere to stay on Palavan?

Turian - because all hostels neutralized

[Heldarion]

Asari - Why is there nowhere to stay on Palavan?

Turian - because all hostels neutralized

 

solid C

[Mighty Omnibutton]

How do you know if a Praetorian's behind you?

Your nose is suddenly a feet from the ceiling.

 

What power scares the hell out of an heretic geth?

Inferno grenades.

[Caineghis2500]

what kind of music do synthetics listen to?

geth metal.

Gethic music

[Genghis Johnson]

That spinny-slashy move a phantom makes even though its target has moved out of harm's way = phantomime. 

 

----------------

 

Two primes, a nemesis and husk walk into a bar. 

 

Bartender takes one look at them and says, "Y'all get the **** outta here."

 

Spoiler

That's it.

(Apologies to George Wallace [the comedian, not the other one].)

[Moby]

These are bad.

[DrunkenRonin]

what kind of music do synthetics listen to?

geth metal.

Eagles of Geth Metal. **** yeah. Rains cash, car batteries, and AIU's all over the flashlight toaster gods til it happens.

[DesioPL]

Geth Prime, Phantom and Brute enters the bar.

 

Brute ask for beer, he drink one and lay down sleep on floor.

 

Phantom drinks five beers and lay down sleep on floor.

 

Geth Prime drink one hundred beers and still siting.

 

Bartender ask Geth Prime. "How you do this?"

 

Geth Prime answer. "Because... I synthetic"

[coelacyanth]

Q What's the difference between geth faction and a bucket full of sh*t?

 

A The bucket

[FuriousFelicia]

I have nothing, just felt wrong to exclude myself from this thread.

[coelacyanth]

Q Why did the Prime's combat drone win "Geth's got talent"?

A. Because it stunned everyone with its performance.

 

Spoiler

   

[Maurader Sackboy]

Why don't any of the N7 soldiers wear camouflage?  They can't find any!

 

Pug#1 asks over the mic about how to revive teammates. Pug#2 says, "well, make sure they're dead first ... "  Pug#1 starts shooting at his teammate -- "o.k. -- now he is, what next?"

 

Jokes -- not my forté