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[Tvorceskiy]

Ugh. I work in a health care setting and there are individuals who are otherwise intelligent gush about 50 Shades and such. "Oh but they fall in love!"

No. No. No. Abusive relationship. End of story. Even doing a small search about true BDSM and you can see how WRONG 50 Shades is.

That's why I am so happy that at least Bioware has introduced a healthy example into a popular media.

[denise12184]

Never read the book or seen the movie, and up until this thread, never had any desire to. Now, I'm curious...

[ZerioctheTank]

"Holy Cow!"

I've been meaning to read 50 shades of grey hoping for something similar to Story of O but I know it isn't anywhere close to it. The preview for the movie looked like a damn mystery thriller than a romance movie.

[Tvorceskiy]

You can still read the unpublished version online.

[Sui Causa]

You know how after you have sex with him, Iron Bull starts ordering you around and humiliating you out in the real world? How he tells you that you cannot say no to him, how he makes you feel trapped and fearful, like if you do something like roll your eyes at him he's liable to beat you for it? How he does not communicate with you whatsoever about what you're doing, and how he gets off on hurting you, but it's all okay because he was abused as a child so he's actually just hurting inside and maybe you can heal his wounded heart if you let him beat you some more?

 

Oh, wait, he doesn't do that?

 

That's strange, because that's what BDSM is all about, right? Riiiiiight?

 

50 Shades of Gray isn't about BDSM. It's about a girl falling in love with an abuser who uses BDSM as a tool to control her because she's too naive/spineless/stupid/whatever to know better. If you want to read BDSM books, there's sooo many better ones out there. Check Goodreads.com, you can find all kinds of books from various genres with kinky things out there. :3

[sandman2190]

You know how after you have sex with him, Iron Bull starts ordering you around and humiliating you out in the real world? How he tells you that you cannot say no to him, how he makes you feel trapped and fearful, like if you do something like roll your eyes at him he's liable to beat you for it? How he does not communicate with you whatsoever about what you're doing, and how he gets off on hurting you, but it's all okay because he was abused as a child so he's actually just hurting inside and maybe you can heal his wounded heart if you let him beat you some more?

 

Oh, wait, he doesn't do that?

 

That's strange, because that's what BDSM is all about, right? Riiiiiight?

 

50 Shades of Gray isn't about BDSM. It's about a girl falling in love with an abuser who uses BDSM as a tool to control her because she's too naive/spineless/stupid/whatever to know better. If you want to read BDSM books, there's sooo many better ones out there. Check Goodreads.com, you can find all kinds of books from various genres with kinky things out there. :3

Disturbing, isn't it?

 

Granted, I haven't read the book..but I have heard things about it and call it a gut feeling, but the male lead seems like he's almost ready to lash out at someone.

[denise12184]

Ah, well, curiosity gone. All I really wanted was to see what the hype was. That takes care of that

[Sui Causa]

Well, there's nothing wrong with reading it! Just...don't go into it expecting it to be an example of good BDSM haha. >.>

 

Iron Bull really is a good example of the difference between an assh*le and a proper dom. Even if he's a little on the opposite end of the spectrum with how selfless he is. He's like as ...lawful good? as you can get for a dom. If there is somehow an alignment slider for doms?

 

Gotta love him for it though!

[ZerioctheTank]

I'll ask some co workers more about the series. Some of them are getting ready for the movie by reading the series again. Honestly if I read the series I'm only going to for the sex scenes. I don't care who Christian Grey is or his past or that chicks name (I don't know it lol). All I want is her tied down and DOMINATED but once again Story of O fulfills that for me.

[denise12184]

Well, there's nothing wrong with reading it! Just...don't go into it expecting it to be an example of good BDSM haha. >.>

 

Iron Bull really is a good example of the difference between an ******* and a proper dom. Even if he's a little on the opposite end of the spectrum with how selfless he is. He's like as ...lawful good? as you can get for a dom. If there is somehow an alignment slider for doms?

 

Gotta love him for it though!

I heard it was kinky, not abusive. And I know exactly squat about BDSM. (well, does the Kushiel series count?) I don't mind kink, but flat out abuse isn't something I think I want to read about. And women thinking they can change men through the power of their love is a concept that makes me want to simultaneously vomit and hang my head in shame for my gender.

 

Edit: that came off a lot harsher than I intended. No offense to anyone who enjoys the book or movie. Just not my cup of tea.

 

Also, there's an alignment slider for everything.

[Hellion Rex]

I heard it was kinky, not abusive. And I know exactly squat about BDSM. (well, does the Kushiel series count?) I don't mind kink, but flat out abuse isn't something I think I want to read about. And women thinking they can change men through the power of their love is a concept that makes me want to simultaneously vomit and hang my head in shame for my gender.

From what I understand (by talking to people more knowledgable about BDSM than I) 50 Shades kinda spits on the BDSM community. I've seen some label the series as abusive, others just a simply terrible representation of BDSM.

[Ryzaki]

I come in this thread and you're talking about that abomination 50 shades.

 

I forced myself to read it too for a laugh. I wasn't laughing at the end. It was so terrible it even lost any lulz factor it might've had. Also if that book had title dropped one more time I might've set something on fire.

 

Also if Bull decided to react to quizzy ending the relationship by flipping out and raping them then I could see the comparison (edit: No actually I couldn't but since Bulls mance would then be terrible I probably wouldn't care) . As it is the 50 shades comparison can go die in a fire.

 

It's a glorified abusive mess and everytime I heard the words "inner goddess" I wanted to scream. Her "goddess" must be the most victim blaming, worthless POS in existence.

[Lady Artifice]

From what I understand (by talking to people more knowledgable about BDSM than I) 50 Shades kinda spits on the BDSM community. I've seen some label the series as abusive, others just a simply terrible representation of BDSM.

 

It does.

 

The most egregious thing (imo) about the story being presented as bdsm, is the reveal that the (sort of) titular character has very, very deep psychological trauma and that is presented as being the entire motivation for his sexual tastes.

 

Spoiler

 

It turns out that the very specific physical "type" that interests him is one that looks like his birthmother, whom he wants to punish...so he punishes young women who remind him of her appearance. 

 

 

It is not a good example of BDSM at all. 

 

Also, from a writing standpoint, there were things about the books that make me want to start shredding pages. I've never reacted that way to a piece of fiction before. 

[Ryzaki]

Also, from a writing standpoint, there were things about the books that make me want to start shredding pages. I've never reacted that way to a piece of fiction before. 

 

Really it's not even so bad it's good category it's just.

 

I'm sitting there reading this and I'm like "Why on earth has this sold gangbusters?" IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD SMUT. The one thing the book could decently it doesn't!

[Sui Causa]

50 Shades is just a whole bunch of bad stereotypes all rolled into one. That kinkiness is a product of abuse, that Dom's are control freaks with deep-seated sadism as their driving force. That sub's are weak and powerless things. That submitting to someone in the bedroom means that you automatically forfeit the right to control your own life outside of it. That BDSM is entirely about pain and/or sex in varying amounts. That discussing exactly what is happening with your partner, setting up limits, rules, and boundaries is somehow unimportant if the orgasms you get out of it are really good.

 

Now, if you go into it understanding that, then it's not an issue, right? But lets imagine the target audience of these books, which is mainly young women, who are probably only first contacting the BDSM lifestyle in any way through those books. People are using these books as BDSM handbooks, and oh god that's just so...wat r u doin, stahp! It's just a fantasy, but it's the type of fantasy that when acted on in any way is going to put someone into the hands of an abuser and that's the dangerous part. There's a ton of creeps out there that use BDSM to act out their abusive fantasies. The BDSM community tries to keep it's players safe, it preaches Safe Sane Consensual, it warns people what abuse looks like and how to keep yourself safe.

 

And then it's all undone when some main stream media shite comes along and says it's okay for your boyfriend to act like that, and maybe if you just love him hard enough he'll change.

 

Aarrrrgghghghghghghgh.

 

*snuggles Iron Bull* How about we mainstream the hell out of this loveable giant instead. I could tl;dr for days about how superior he is to anything portrayed in 50 Shades, even in his little romance arc that is like 5% of the game's content. But I don't think I'm going to dignify Christian Grey by letting him stand next to Iron Bull for anything.

[Lady Artifice]

I come in this thread and you're talking about that abomination 50 shades.

 

I forced myself to read it too for a laugh. I wasn't laughing at the end. It was so terrible it even lost any lulz factor it might've had. Also if that book had title dropped one more time I might've set something on fire.

 

Also if Bull decided to react to quizzy ending the relationship by flipping out and raping them then I could see the comparison. As it is the 50 shades comparison can go die in a fire.

 

It's a glorified abusive mess and everytime I heard the words "inner goddess" I wanted to scream. Her "goddess" must be the most victim blaming, worthless POS in existence.

 

Don't forget her "subconscious": an anthropomorphic personification of her own self doubt, there to ridicule her and snark...and stare at her through spectacles. 

 

Just shoot me, I though. 

 

Better yet, shoot the phantasm you keep referring to as your "subconscious". 

[Hellion Rex]

It does.

 

The most egregious thing (imo) about the story being presented as bdsm, is the reveal that the (sort of) titular character has very, very deep psychological trauma and that is presented as being the entire motivation for his sexual tastes.

 

Spoiler

 

It turns out that the very specific physical "type" that interests him is one that looks like his birthmother, whom he wants to punish...so he punishes young women who remind him of her appearance. 

 

 

...you have got to be kidding me.

[Lady Artifice]

Really it's not even so bad it's good category it's just.

 

I'm sitting there reading this and I'm like "Why on earth has this sold gangbusters?" IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD SMUT. The one thing the book could decently it doesn't!

 

Well, I didn't find much to recommend about the writing personally...I mean, at least it's coherent, but there are a lot of devices she uses that grate on me.

 

The "inner goddess" the "subconscious" figments in her mind being one example. 

 

 

But...I suppose this is only on topic if it's in relation to Iron Bull...a very good example of BDSM. With adorable ears. 

[Lady Artifice]

...you have got to be kidding me.

 

I know, right?

[Ryzaki]

Don't forget her "subconscious": an anthropomorphic personification of her own self doubt, there to ridicule her and snark...and stare at her through spectacles. 

 

Just shoot me, I though. 

 

Better yet, shoot the phantasm you keep referring to as your "subconscious". 

 

Seriously I was hoping it'd be the voice of reason telling her to GTFO. But nope.

 

I kept hoping Anna would bounce or get tired of Christian's crap but no.

 

Even in the few scenes she walks out on him she's quick to be all "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE? How could I be so cruel to him?" (the amount of lolwut I did) and then as soon as he gave her a smoldering glance or some shite she was all running back to him. It was like watching a damn trainwreck.

[Ryzaki]

Well, I didn't find much to recommend about the writing personally...I mean, at least it's coherent, but there are a lot of devices she uses that grate on me.

 

The "inner goddess" the "subconscious" figments in her mind being one example. 

 

 

But...I suppose this is only on topic if it's in relation to Iron Bull...a very good example of BDSM. With adorable ears. 

 

Oh yeah it was bad. I've read worse but it at least had the decency to not pretend to be anything other than absurd smut. And the smut was actually good so...

 

But yeah Inner Goddess and the whole "fifty" thing made me want to punch babies.

 

But yes Bull The far superior husbando.

[ZerioctheTank]

So thats what her inner goddess does!? LMAO! I randomly opened a few pages at work and remember seeing something that her inner goddess. Its okay to hit me, I love you & one day my love will cure you. I would say more but I'm already pushing it as it is.

[Zarro-Morningstar]

Every time I read "Inner Goddess" my mind jumps back to Garrus imitating Liara's "By the Goddess" during the Citadel party, lol!

[Hellion Rex]

I...I...can't even.

 

 

What's funny is that my mom recently told me that she read the first book cause she wanted to see what the whole buzz was. To say a bit about my mother, 50 Shades is about as far from her personality as you can get. This is the woman who had me grow up on a steady diet of Lord of the Rings, Sherlock Holmes, and The Hardy Boys. She was also an English and Journalism double major, and then became a lawyer. Ergo, my mother is probably the smartest and one of the most well-read women that I have ever met and will probably ever meet. So when it comes to literature, she is the one who gave me love of reading.

 

I almost died laughing when she annihilated that book word for word, chapter by chapter, to me over the phone for about 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon. I almost died of suffocation from laughing so much. My mom didn't just hate it, she abhorred it.

[denise12184]

My goodness...the female character in that book sounds like a couple people I know in RL...definitely won't be reading it, so thanks for the warnings. I was tempted just because it seems to be so popular, but nope. And I'll end it here before I get started on a rant.

 

*Must think soothing thoughts of Iron Bull*