Question for anyone and everyone, out of my own curiosity.
How meaningful do you think it is for someone to be gay in the DA universe?
Meaningful can mean many different things. That is somewhat difficult to answer, even if not speaking of the DA Universe. Gay, straight, bi, the terminology isn't even in Thedeas that we've seen so far, I believe. The concepts may be there, but that creates another layer of abstraction when trying to answer the question, imo. We've just had people speaking in terms of who they slept with or married, without seeing much in the way of judgement or oppression.
But, for someone being gay, I think there are some meaningful social and societal -- and possibly cultural aspects -- that vary from culture to culture in the DA Universe. None that are remotely to the extremes like we see on Earth, of course, but there are some. How much impact that "some" has on a society's people is uncertain. Blue hair may be unusual, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a blue-haired person thrown into jail, executed, systematically oppressed by society itself. Someone may go, "Ah, blue hair. I see..." and move on with their life. That's the general gist I feel with a person being gay or identifying themselves as only being interested in same-sex relations in the DA Universe.
A human noble in Ferelden may have added pressures of marrying an opposite-sex partner, or at least making an heir, but I doubt the gay individual would be thrown out in the streets, tar and feathered. Or expelled from the House, I don't think. Like a parent that may nag their child to get married and give them grandchildren in our world, I'd see it just the same. Parent nagging the gay child to have a marriage or children, but just grump and cross arms, an argument once in a while, but the gay person still ultimately has their autonomy and choices and love/support of the family. I don't see it too much different for Dalish or Dwarves... While the societies may expect certain things, it doesn't mean it must happen or that these people will in any way be severely abused or oppressed or condemned for it. That's just my take based on the games thus far, however.
Of course, in every game, we are mixed up with a rag tag group of misfits, outsiders, rebels, and strongly independent or indifferent companions that already are outliers of "regular" society.
Being gay may be meaningful for the person as a piece of self-identity in the 'verse, absolutely. They are not straight, they are not fluid, they are strictly same-sex. They view themselves as x, they want x things, and they want to have their life in x way because of it -- but in such a 'verse, I don't see much push back against them pursuing and having those things. I know Sera must have grown up with stories of gay and lesbian heroes, since in my DA World, it is a lesbian Warden savior and a gay Champion of Kirkwall, and their stories are legend and being passed around plenty as evidenced by DA2.
All that said, it certainly it not an excuse to have sexuality overly vague in Thedas and to dismiss that it doesn't matter since it's not a big deal in Thedas. It should matter and does matter because these things -- like representation, normalization, respect, non-heteronormative heroes and role models, etc -- are *meaningful* for us, the players, based out of our reality-shaded glasses.