The Seven Stages of Cassandra being Straight:
1) Shock or Disbelief - No, Cass isn't straight.
2) Denial - They wouldn't pull another Morrigan and Varric's comment in DA 2 means nothing and it was obvious she had no interest in him in the film because it was a FRIENDLY kiss.
3) Anger - Why couldn't they have gone with all bi?! I bet if Sheryl had written this character, she'd have made her bisexual. It's like David wants to write romances for everyone *but* lesbians. Now I have to deal with a bunch of gloating straight men, fun times.
4) Bargaining - Why not make Vivinenne straight? Or Sera? Or Scribbles?
5) Guilt - I shouldn't have been so mean to David. This is what happens when I get my hopes up. Why can't I just appreciate what I have?
6) Depression - It doesn't matter. Just a stupid game. I'm just going to curl up on my bed and cry now.
7) Acceptance and Hope - *plays game* OMG, Sera is so cute! Is Vivienne hitting on me? What do I do?! Who do I choose?! I want both! Romance ALL THE WIMINS!
You win the Internet today, Maria. Well done.





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