I'm not saying she doesn't care...she just didn't try to help them.
Merrill thinks the Eluvian can help all the elves, which is why she is focused on building one. Her friendships and her familiarity with elves in the Alienage does show that she cares, and that she is cognizant about their situation. Merrill even comments to Fenris that the plight of the elves in the Alienage is something that matters. Unfortunately, we didn't really get much of an insight into life in the Kirkwall Alienage (as opposed to the Denerim Alienage), which is likely one of the reasons why some people are hoping this isn't the case in Inquisition, particularly with the inclusion of Sera, an elven companion.
I'm just trying to get an idea what people mean when they want a companion who cares about and tries to help 'the elves' b/c I think that could mean many different things. Then there are questions like, 'what does it mean to be an elf?'
Merrill and Briala had different opinions on how to help. They almost seem to be on opposite ends of a spectrum. Merrill representing the Dalish ideal of the 'true elf' that needs to find their past in order to move forward. Briala wants the elves to gain more political power and freedoms in the future. Briala is using eluvians to achieve this, funny enough, but it's a means to and end. With Merrill, the evluvian was the end.
Merrill and Briala both intend to use the Eluvians to help the elves, albeit in different ways. Merrill is building one from a single shard, so the main focus that the player sees is her painstaking efforts to successfully build one, while Briala is using existing ones that were built over a millennia ago and can take the next step as a result; they are walking two completely different paths, but both women had the same intention to use elven technology to benefit the Elvhen. As Merrill can't take the next step because her Eluvian remains inert, we never find out what her plans are, while we know that Briala intends to establish a pan-elven movement to help all the elves during the Orlesian civil war.
I don't think it has to be an either or. I guess I should say 'prioritize' moving forward.
That would be extremely difficult when their religion is outlawed and their culture is prohibited, unless emancipating the Dales from Orlesian rule becomes a possibility in Inquisition. The clans seem to prioritize survival, first and foremost.
I would like the choice.
I'm not sure Sera would approve of what Briala is doing. Briala is attempting to draw out the Orlesian Civil War as long as possible for some 'greater good' which will, ofc, result in more deaths for the poor and disenfranchised. This is the thing we know Sera doesn't like.
I would like the choice as well. I honestly have more interest in aligning with Briala for the betterment of all the elves than with either one of the Orlesian contenders for the throne.
Perhaps you're right; Sera may disagree, although I hope I could argue to her that helping restore the status quo would lead to more suffering and purges for elves in the long run.