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[The Most Sneaky Of Foxes]

So I know a lot of you guys write, whether it's original fiction or FF. Here's the place to ask and talk about writing that isn't restricted to Tali or the ME fandom. Grammar, writing tips, complaints, character development, plot, structure, anything. You can also promote stories here or compare/contrast them. If they inspired you, taught you something, etc.

Note: you can talk about not liking something authors do, or what you don't like to see in literature, but no bashing. We all enjoy writing and don't want to be put down because we haven't mastered the craft. Because really, who has?
 

So, discuss away!

 

I personally enjoy drama and romance, if you haven't already noticed >_> one thing that immediately turns me off to writing is grammar (I shouldn't complain too hard, since some of my earlier stories are a bit messier), but if I see more than ten mistakes in the first chapter, I bail.

 

One thing I really enjoy about reading is watching characters develop, especially when the chips are down and **** gets cray cray. I actually enjoy it more than plot, and will endure a weak or plot-holed story if I really like the characters in it.

[TheWerdna]

Actually, I really could use some help with a small thing in the story I am writting. This does invovle spoilers for the the sequel to Pathways, but I am really stuck on this.

 

I have an issue where the heroes of my story are fighting against a group of people who don't have a name, nor is it known who they work for (The Leviathans). As a result, I figured I'd have one of my characters come up with a nick name for said villains, giving me something to call them. However, I cannot for the life of me come up with a clever nickname that also sounds like something a character in my story would come up with. 

[The Most Sneaky Of Foxes]

What species are they? Human? Are they a mixture of both genders, or predominately male/female?

 

I think the best thing to do is keep it short. Long nicknames sound forced and awkward when yelling at each other in combat. Like if you called zombies "Super-duper-dead-people" all the time, you'd be killed by one before finishing your sentence.

 

You'd also have to factor in who nicknames them, and if that nickname has any ethnic or cultural significance to that person. Like (mild spoilers) in later chapters in Echoes, Shepard gets the nickname "demon" in the batarian language, which is both relevant to the general feeling of that species about the Commander and has cultural depth to it. So that's also something to consider.

 

Or maybe I'm making it too complicated. Maybe you could call them dorks and be done with it. However I tend to really enjoy naming things. One thing that helps me is I take a word that is descriptive to what I'm naming (like Sarika is Swahili for fighter and innocent, I think were the two words I used), and then put them into a translator to see if it comes out with a cool word. Then when I've got a good base, I tweak that word until it looks alien.

[TheWerdna]

The group are a mix of races, as they are basically just people who have fallen under Leviathan control. I am thinking I need to come up with something that has to do with some distinctive visual trait, but they sorta lack any right now. As such I am begining to consider maybe first coming up with a good name related to an distinctive trait, then go give them said trait. But other than that I am not sure... since I am aweful at coming up with names.

[The Most Sneaky Of Foxes]

Something to do with mental instability, maybe? Since they're thralls of the Leviathans? Is there a religious base around their devotion to the Leviathans? Maybe they have some religious symbol they wear. Are they crazy and stupid, or intelligent and lucid? Getting a good visual description of them might be the best starting point. Figure out what their beliefs and ideas are around their indoctrination - if they're scared of the Leviathans, devoted to them, unaware they're being controlled, etc. A lot of the time you can get a good visual by writing out what that group believes in and stands for. What are their goals? Do they hate a specific group or species? You could ask all kinds of questions.

 

My point is - get a solid idea of what they're all about, plan their appearance around those doctrines, and eventually the naming process will become that much easier. Sometimes having a strong visual helps the naming of something, whether that visual is based on looks or a relevant moral or ideal that group has.

[TheWerdna]

hmmm, well let me think. So far they are all about secrecy, since the Leviathans are trying really hard to keep their actions and invovlement a hidden until their plans are complete (the heroes won't even find out that the Levithans are invovled until the the halfway point of the story).

 

For the thralls themselves, they are basically mostly small time criminals, mercs, and thugs who the Leviathans have chosen for three reason. One, their disappearances won't be missed by anyone important. Two, if they are ever killed or identified, any criminal activity (assassinations, thefts, that sort of thing) won't seem too odd. Three, weak willed and thus easily controlled. However, little of these thralls' original personalities are left, as they are completely indoctrinated and under the Leviathan's will. They are completely disciplined, coldly efficient, and loyal to the point of zealotism in completing their mission. They rarely speak, almost never show any signs of pain, silently carrying out their orders. If cornered and capture seems likely, each as without fail committed suicide, as a result of the Leviathan's mental commands to ensure no one finds out that the thralls are no longer themselves.

 

In terms of appearance they all wear dark, nearly black armor. They carry guns and blades similar to those used by the rest of the galaxy, but when examined appear slightly more advanced, as a few decades ahead of current technology level. The one distinctive visual appearance is the helmets they where, which looks almost skeletal, with deep sunken eye sockets and deep concave grooves around the cheek area.

 

For names, I need to really think of something that my characters would refer to them as, not the group's actual name. I think it needs to be a bit clever, maybe slightly insulting, given the fact that most of the heroes are in their early-mid twenties. Still, I've always been bad at names, so I guess I just need to keep thinking on it. hmm....

[ElectronicPostingInterface]

When I read writing with like two pages of description for a forest or a guy's jacket, I tend to tune out.

 

That and books that begin with eight chapters of set up that is completely and utterly boring. I don't care how crazy your ultimate events will be, if I can't get past chapter four where Suzy learns the joy of scaling fish, I'm out.

[The Most Sneaky Of Foxes]

@ Werdna

 

Maybe something to do with skulls, then? Or the dead/ghosts since they're so quiet?

 

Again something short but not overly clever or elegant would work best and be the most believable. People tend not to be very witty in the heat of battle, and naming them something funny/demeaning might take away from a serious moment if your characters are discussing the group and have decided to call them butt wrenches or whatever.

 

@ EPI

 

Agreed. More vague/broad descriptions tend to be better. I like using my imagination when reading, and if someone tells me a character has exactly three moles on the left hand side of her forehead, I'm out. Distinctive markings on a person are fine if they're relevant to the themes/plot of the story, but just excessive superfluous details are a bore.

 

However, I am guilty of this exact thing >_> I like describing things a bit too much sometimes. 

[StephenFulford]

It'll also depends on how important the character is. The readers have imaginations, and if you bring up half way through the story that the main character's hair is blonde than it'll bother someone who imagined it brown. Basically, if you ever think you will want to describe a character physically in a certain way, get it done quickly. That said, not everyone needs a description beyond their species and gender.