I, ah, I did write a thing. *coughs* I apologize if it's crappy (which it probably is anyway). I blame tumblr, Bioware, youtube, and life that decided to be awful today. I just needed something to cheer me up. So, yeah. Sorry.
The sight of the Inquisitor and the Seeker side by side in the morning light wasn’t unusual for the men training in the courtyard; it even amused them, to see the short, stocky Dwarf and the tall, lean woman taking a stroll together. However it was far more singular to watch the two of them heading toward the stables with their arms full of pots and pans, and some of the soldiers couldn’t help but whispers quietly to each other. They all went quiet when Cassandra Pentaghast stopped for glaring in their direction and stood for attention when Cadash told them to carry on with their drill exercices, but as soon as the two disappeared into the stables, the men began to talk anew.
“They’re worse than a bunch of old women,” Cassandra snorted as she and Cadash walked to the bottom of the stables, ignoring the horses that neighed for attention.
The Dwarf looked up at her with an arched eyebrow. “If it pleases my lady, I’ll order them to run around the keep for an hour or two. Or maybe hop around it.”
“Such a terrible abuse of power, Your Eminence, you should be ashamed.”
Her voice was stern but Cadash saw the ghost of a smile on her lips, a glimmer of amusement in her eyes and he chuckled, cheeks reddening slightly. He kept this silly expression until they entered the last loose-box and he almost stepped on something small and furry that hissed and jumped on his leg in retribution. “Andraste’s pants!” he cursed when small yet sharp claws dug into the fabric of his pants and the skin beneath.
Like it was some kind of signal, a pack of kittens came out of the straw meowing loudly. They rushed toward the Inquisitor and Cassandra, pressing themselves against their legs, purring with expectation. The Seeker carefully pushed one away from the tip of her boot, kneeled and put the pot she was carrying on the ground, and she barely got the time to remove the lid before it was swarmed over by hungry little cats. Only the one that had attacked Cadash didn’t join the feast, too busy gnawing and kicking at the leg of his pants. The Dwarf had decided to go through this ordeal with dignified silence and tried not to react as tiny needles kept sinking into his flesh.
“…five, and six,” Cassandra announced. “They’re all here.” She extended a hand and grazed the back of one of the little guys which stumbled, meowed and hurried back to the food. “Need help there?” she added with her ghost of a smile again when her eyes fell on the leg-eater kitten and, without waiting for an answer, she gently took the fur demon – as Cadash had decided to call it – and put it down to the ground. It promptly joined its brothers and sisters, and the Inquisitor took the opportunity for putting his own pan down and removing its lid. The kitten didn’t rush to it immediately for the other pot hadn’t been licked clean yet, but it was just a matter of time.
“I’m sure I’m bleeding,” Cadash complained with the gloomy expression of someone facing their impending doom.
“Want me to kiss the wound better, Inquisitor?”
An incredulous laugh rose from his throat as, for this time, Cassandra was grinning openly. Averting his face so his own foolish grin wouldn’t be too obvious, he walked to the nearest bale of straw and sat on it, picking up a single wisp he brought to his lips. She joined him and they watched the kittens in comfortable silence.
The pot having been licked to its death, the little fellows hurried to the pan, shoving each other for the best place. It was cute, the Dwarf decided, how their tails were all cocked up like little banners. Like they were small, fluffy knights.
“We need to decide what to do with them,” the Seeker eventually whispered and Cadash could almost hear the pangs of anguish in her voice. “We can’t keep them forever.”
“Can’t we?” He turned his head for looking at her, a frown barring his forehead. “I thought you enjoyed having them here.”
“I do,” she retorted, a little too defensively. “But Skyhold is no place for kittens, and we have neither the time nor the resources for taking care of them all.”
“Which explains why we’ve been sneaking here every day last week with leftovers of food?” He frowned then added with a malicious grin. “Were they really leftovers, even? I don’t recall eating any chicken recentl—hmph!”
“Neither the time nor the resources,” repeated Cassandra in a more assertive way while Cadash was spitting out the straw she had pushed in his mouth with noisy gargling sounds. “So we either find people to give them away, or we get rid of them.”
“Or we could keep them,” insisted Cadash carefully, eyeing her hand for the next attack of straw. As it didn’t come, he went on: “They could eat the rats, protect our stocks of food. And the day all the rats will be gone, well, we’ll…keep them as ration? For harsh winters, when we’ll all be starving. The time will come you’ll be glad to have them around. All those big, fat cats. Think about it, my lady.”
“Bullshit,” Cassandra uttered with disgust written all over her face and voice, except for her eyes that shone of amusement again. “You’re a horrible man,” she added with all the dignity she could muster, before reporting all her attention on the kittens. After some time, a grimace twisted her lips, all pleasant feelings gone. “Maybe we should have simply drowned them the time we first found them. It would have made everything easier.”
“Would have indeed.” Cadash picked up a new wisp he began to nibble thoughtfully. “I suppose we could ask Varric some help. Maybe he could write an advert, or something; he’s good with words. I’m sure he’ll find those kittens a loving family in no time at all.” From the corner of his eye, he saw Cassandra nod slowly and relax. Had anyone told him she would be grateful for Varric’s silver tongue one day… “Should we name them?” he asked after another moment of silence. “Since we’re neither going to eat nor drown them? And it’d be easier than calling them Kitten number One, Kitten number Two and all the way up to Kitten number Six.”
“This one,” Cassandra said as pointing to a kitten, “is Caspard. And this one,” she added while pointing another one, “is Mathas. Then Nestor, Markus and Ferdinand. I’m not sure how to call the last one, though.”
Cadash blinked at all the names, wondering if she had thought them through for some times now, before focusing on the nameless kitten. It had two spots above its eyes that made it look like it was always grouchy; realization dawned on the Inquisitor, but last thing he knew, the Seeker had stuck another handful of straw into his mouth. “But I didn’t say anything,” he protested once he was done spitting it out.
“No, but you thought it so loudly I could practically hear it.”
That ghost of a smile again, and Cadash felt the urge to make her have a taste of her own medicine fade away. Damn that woman! He looked back at the kittens instead; with their belly now full, most of them had laid down in the straw for a nap, only a single kitten in addition to the grouchy one were still awake. “Varric?” he offered with a frown.
“It doesn’t look like a Varric.”
“Well this one doesn’t look like a Ferdinand either,” he snorted.
“Varric,” repeated Cassandra, and eventually she nodded. “Why not, after all, it’s a name as good as any other.”
“Better than the alternative?”
“Definitely better.”
They both exchanged a smile that lasted until a horn blew and a bell, somewhere, began its tolling. A heavy groan came out of Cadash’s lips, and for a moment Cassandra looked just as disgruntled. It didn’t last though, and she was back to her usual self in no time, the cold, controlled Cassandra with the piercing eyes that saw through others’ souls. She dusted the straw off her clothes, while Cadash picked up the lids, the pot and the pan. He would have just enough time for a detour by the kitchen, and then life would be back to normal again.
The soldiers were still there when they left the stables. All discussions died immediately at their sight, but the Inquisitor noticed some smiles, some reddish faces which were telling a lot about their subject.
“Seems to me you did have a good time,” he smirked, and he swore he could hear everybody gulping. Narrowing his eyes, he moved his chin in direction of the keep. “I feel like abusing my power,” he announced loudly, “and you are all going to run around this for the two next hours.”
He walked away without waiting for reactions – he knew he would be obeyed. And they didn’t matter anyway. Not as much as Cassandra’s ghost of a smile.