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Your favorite PnP RPG characters, anecdotes, and general all time favorite play sessions.


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#51
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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One time I had a Paranoia character whose tick was kicking people in the head.

 

The cops raided our train and some people jumped off to escape them. I tried to kick the would-be escapees in the head while they were leaving, and got my leg blown off.

 

Our briefing officer tries to give us our mission, and I interrupt by hopping up to him and kicking him in the head. He responds by shoving his rifle up my butt and leaving it there.

 

Our mission supplies are somewhat distant from me. I respond by using the rifle in my colon as a crutch as I walk over, to the disappointment of the GM (who thought he had just punished me with that rifle.)



#52
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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I was playing Pandemonio today, and a succubus attacked us as we were rushing one of her previous victims (a business associate of her paramour) to the hospital. She landed on my vehicle's roof and blasted me for two hit points worth of damage. So then I'm about to use one of my spells to puke acidic vomit all over her (this is a really weird game), when I remember my character's Atrocity ability. I only get to use it once per adventure, and the succubus was the final boss. So, why not?

 

Now, Pandemonio uses a dice pool system. With an ordinary attack, I would roll 1d12 for every point of Violence I have (or one for every point of Magic I have, if I'd gone with the acid puke), and the succubus rolls one for every point of reflex. If either she or I get two or more of the same result only one of them counts, but that one counts as one higher than it otherwise would for every duplicate. Two ones are a two, three fours are a seven, and so on. If her highest result after all the math is higher than mine, I miss. If it's lower, she takes damage equal to the amount I didn't miss by. The way Atrocity works is that I get to roll two extra Violence die, and if she gets one or more doubles or triples the highest counts as though it were mine. The "drawback" is that I have to narrate a horribly brutal attack that I use it with. No real limitations on what that can be except common sense, and even that can be stretched... as you're about to see.

 

"Okay. I flip the van over."

 

The only other player who shows up to the session replies "Wait, but I'm on the roof with the demon." The GM contributes "Well, do you move out of the way?" I chip in with "Yeah, you might want to do that."

 

Once my partner is back in the vehicle, the GM and I roll off. He gets to roll three dice (three being the succubus's reflex), and I get four (My character's violence plus two). His highest is a twelve, and mine is an eleven. That would mean that the succubus barely managed to keep her head above the pavement, probably by jumping onto the side of the car as I flipped, then jumping to the bottom and the top of the van as I rolled further. Eventually we wind up back where we started, except that the passengers are scared and I can't use that ability again all session. Except...

 

"Did you roll any doubles?" "Yeah, the twelve." "Stealing."

 

My highest was now a twelve, and the only remaining dice the GM had was a one. The new result, when all the rules were accounted for, was that the succubus was caught completely flat-footed and crushed between the van's roof and the pavement. When we're done rolling, we have our wheels back under us and a 3/4 dead succubus lying on the roof. The other player then proceeds to shoot her to death, and the GM doesn't bother rolling since if the gunman hits for anything with his gun-summoning spell it would result in at least 3 hit points of damage (2 from the gun's damage bonus, and at least one from the actual hit. That's just enough to kill the succubus right off even assuming a minimal hit, due to my Atrocity.)


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#53
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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One of the new rules in D&D 5th edition is Advantage. If you get into a position that should make a task easier, you get to roll the check twice and take the higher result. For example, I rammed my spear into the side of a wall when I heard flood waters coming, and got to roll my save twice to not get swept away. Two other players held onto me, and got to roll twice as well. Of course, that didn't help the wizard who was trying to hang on and rolled two natural ones. (The DM ruled that that meant he got attacked by a shark that was swept along by the flood.)


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#54
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Well this is quite a necro, but delightful tales of Table Top RPG-ing never get old  :D

 

 

I have been playing a Shadowrun campaign with a group of friends and we have been doing pretty well for ourselves lately. My character is an old, grizzled Dwarf rigger that goes by the runner name of 'Grumpy'; he is rather impatient with the flashy 'punk' fashion styles of the 2070's and isn't afraid to speak his mind about it.

 

 

The rest of the crew is an Elf face by the name of 'Grey Fox'; a German anarchist with a particular dislike for the S&K mega corp; a human decker know as 'Laser Fire'; a college freshman that does runs to help pay for his tuition; a human technomancer going by 'Ruby'; she is still developing her talents and was until recently a test subject of one of the mega corps looking to study the technomancer condition; and a human physical adept called 'Ren'; not much is know about him, just that he doesn't say much, but he can shoot his guns with supernatural precision.

 

 

Our last run to recover some pay data from the middle of gang territory was going along smoothly until a former corporate security chief-now turned street bum recognized Grey Fox (one of our previous runs he convinced security that he was an executive of some type; which cost said security chief his job). Anyway, this guy notices Grey Fox and alerts the local gang to our presence and things quickly deteriorate from there.

 

 

A gang sniper starts firing at us from atop a building, several thugs wielding AK-97s round a corner, a decked out street sammy accompanies them, and a gang mage begins to cast a spell. Naturally, we would want to 'geek the mage' as quickly as possible, but we were pinned down. I had Grumpy jack into his Steel Lynx drone and try and lay down covering fire while Ren pulled out his pistols and started to doing his gun-kata thing. Ruby and Laserfire decided to jump into the matrix and try to hack the nearest enemy tech; which was the aforementioned street sammy, and Grey Fox took advantage of his newly purchased 'stealth' jacket to slip into a side alley unnoticed. 

 

 

Ren quickly dispatches of a grunt with a well placed shot to the head, but is quickly pinned down by the sniper. Thinking fast, Grey Fox chucks out a smoke grenade to cover us but we have to wait a few rounds before the smoke will encompass a large enough area to shield us from view. In the Matrix, Laser Fire and Ruby succeed in hacking the street sammy's cyber eyes and begin to start streaming elf porn through his implants; effectively making him blind. A gang member dives to the ground to avoid a shot from Ren only to place himself directly in front of the barrel of Gumpy's Steel Lynx's LMG; needless to say the ganger painted the wall behind him a bright crimson.  B)

 

 

At this point the mage summoned a fire spirit, which was very bad; as no one in the group was awakened, and therefore incapable of damaging (effectively) a magical creature. I had Gumpy send the Steel Lynx into to engage the spirit in a battle of technology vs. magic while Ren and Grey Fox attempted to locate the mage. The smoke grenade finally began to obscure the team from view, and we were able to locate and secure the pay data without getting out heads blown off.  The clash of metal and magic was essentially a draw as neither drone or spirit could do any real damage to the other, but Ren was finally able to get a bead on the mage and end him. With the magic user gone, the spirit returned to the Astral Plane, and with the smoke grenade covering us from the sniper and the street sammy stuck viewing various films of elf pornography the team was able to make it out of the gang held territory and get to an extraction point.



#55
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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The first time I played Shadowrun, I was recruited to recruit a hacker for the mafia with my party. As we rode in the assassin's van, I turned on some elf porn. It was sort of like what you did to the other samurai, except not directly using cyberware (I wanted Deltaware and if memory serves you can't buy it while rolling) and I had the audio on too. We arrive, and the medic has to punch me to get me out of the car. Then I get recruited to carry the hacker's (fake) computer, and in order to get across how seriously capable of messing with us using the net he is the hacker says "Be careful with that stuff, I saw what you were watching on the way in here..." and Lumpawaroo* spectacularly misses the point and says "wut's wrong wit gurl on gurl?" (I may not have had the points left to buy him a functioning brain.)

 

It was at that point I had to leave due to my (irl) ride out of there not being available much longer, and so I missed the battle against the hacker where he used technomancy to try for a TPK, and died. I also missed the part where the mafia punishes the entire party for killing him by emptying their bank accounts, but that's okay because the GM decided that the mafia made sure to include me in the fun anyway.

 

* The GM threatened to force my character to speak in Wookie, and picked a wookie name for him. He turned out to be joking about the language (I couldn't tell at the time because he has a damn good poker face), but I had to concede his choice of name was better than mine. (Mine was "Gregor.")


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#56
Fast Jimmy

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Been playing a 3.5 campaign for a couple weeks on Roll20. Had a HELL of an encounter this week.

Over the past half a dozen sessions, we have been helping out the small (and getting smaller by the day - keep reading) town of Dellfall survive a harsh winter. We took out the goblin village raiding their farms and secured enough food to last the winter. We also have been having our dwarf, along with some "conscripted" (read semi-enslaved) goblin survivors dig into a nearby mine for stone to build a small wall around the village. Despite a few deaths in the goblin attacks, it seemed like things were getting better now that Winter broke and Spring was here.

Right before a huge winter storm hit, we had gotten a report of some talking unknown critters were found in our stone mine. So when Spring arrived, we sent our party in to check things out (the beginning of this session): Histrune, a human pally who was a former bartender turned turned to a life of religion after the bar his family owned burnt to the ground; Fegus, a dwarf fighter who is now exploring his ability to learn magic (read: Fighter/Wizard multi-class); Randel, a shadowy half-elf ranger with ties to a nearby lord; Kleck, son of one of the farmers who was killed by the goblins and who was wild with bloodlust; and me, Essdar, a noble-turned-sorcerer trying to escape the intrigue and deceit of his family's political life of and the boring books of wizarding school. We are all Level 3.

We go into the mine and begin exploring. Before long, we see a very out-of-place bush. Fergus, the one most familiar with the mine, was leading the front of the party when a loud roar erupts. From under the bush comes a Large Minotaur, which has us all nearly crapping our pants. The mino swings at Fergus and misses, after which Kleck runs up, sword swinging. With our Melee fighters engaging the mino and the ranger and I laying some cover for the back, we cautiously began to do some damage.

Then, we hear another roar, this right behind us. Out comes ANOTHER mino from another part of the cave. In a panic, I throw down a grease to buy us some time, while Randel double shots the closest one. Fergus, using his magic talents, uses Power Word Pain and puts a death sentence on the first mino, if we can just survive for four more rounds to take its toll. Meanwhile, the mino crushes Kleck, doing critical damage and taking him from positive HP to lower than -10, causing instant death.

Histrune, in true noble pally fashion, hops in front of the second mino to protect me and our ranger. One Power Attack + Smite Evil later, both minos are looking worn down and before long, we win the day, minus the death of Kleck. Single tear.

After a break, we go and examine the bush the first Minotaur came out of and found a tunnel. Going down, we immediately encounter another and begin fighting. We had gotten into a nice rhythm of staying outside the 10' Large creature reach and wearing down the creature. It went down fairly easily, which had us all feeling kind of smug.

We move forward and see a bridge crossing a river. Trying to be strategic, we begin examining it, to see how strong it is and if we could use the river as a choke point. As we started down the bridge, we see the edge of a Minotaur camp and two charge in right up to us. We begin moving back along the bridge and wear them down, with only one being able to cross at a time. Eventually, though, they both break through and in the course of the battle, our paladin is knocked unconscious, barely stabilizing in time to live. Not without cost, though - one mino dies and the other is on the verge.

Panicked, the wounded Minotaur runs away, after which we consider doing the same thing. And then... another roar, this one MUCH louder than the others, is heard. We begin hearing loud steps running and decide to cut the bridge to buy us time to escape. After the rope holding the bridge is gone, Randel runs out first, while Fergus grabs Hirstune, hauling his little dwarven @ss with a human slung over his shoulder nearly twice his size. I am gearing up to cast a Grease right on the edge of the river to make jumping over the river harder with the bridge out.

In Roll20, they have a feature called dynamic lighting, which lets each character see only what they are supposed to see. So with everyone high tailing it out of the cave, I am the only player in our session who can see this thing. Barely outside my vision, shrouded in darkness and shadow, is the biggest dang Minotaur I've ever seen. It could STEP over the river if it wanted to.

I bolt. We head back to town, but with the Winter snow just melting, we make a trail in the mud leading right to town. Luckily, we level up to 4 and are able to heal back to full health and spells, but I am vehemently telling the other players the minos are coming... the Minos are coming! We close the town gate, lay down some caltrops (hidden with Silent Image), send our ranger out to scout the roads, try and think of anything we can do to help out...

"Roll Spot check." After a set of pitiful rolls, our DM announces we don't see it until it is right at the gate - in full light, a giant, 15+ foot tall Minotaur, covered in magic symbols. Along with it is the mino that sounded the alarm and, curiously, a creepy looking gnome. In one attack, this giant beast nearly shatters our town gate. Fergus climbs up to the wall and casts Power Word Pain on the regular Minotaur, knowing that it would barely put a dent in the giant beast before us.

Next turn it crunches down the gate and we are looking at death right in the face. The caltrops help slow both Minos down and avoid their charge attacks, but it's like watching a baseball bat coming to your face in slow motion - it only makes it worse to see it coming slowly. Hirstune goes toe to toe with the smaller mino, taking a pretty solid walloping, while the big one walks right up to me.

Knowing I'm not going to be able to get out of the 15' Giant creature reach, I do the only thing I can - cast another spell defensively, praying to make the Concentration check. I get it off and cast Enlarge Person on our pally, giving him a fighting chance for a Minotaur fight by himself. I make the check, get the spell off... and immediately get knocked down to -7 HP the next turn, taking 28 damage in one hit. I'm out of the fight.

Our pally Power Attacks the normal Minotaur in his new Large state and gets it SO close to death, you can feel it. But he's taken too much damage himself and next turn, he is hit and knocked dead - right down to -10 with one swing. Next turn, in true tragic irony, the Minotaur dies from the next round of Power Word Pain.

At this point, the giant magical mino begins tearing down houses. Villagers like the blacksmith are running out to help us and are getting swiftly crushed. With our pally and me out, the chances of the village surviving (let alone our party) looks pretty impossible.

The only one left is Fergus. The entire fight, our dwarf has stayed on the wall, and cast a Web to anchor the gnome in one spot and has been throwing javelins at the gnome spellcaster, while using his INSANELY high dwarven fortitude to shrug off spells doing failed Ability Damage after failed ability damage. Fergus, being a pretty bad wizard in terms of actual Knowledge or Spellcraft ranks, can only determine that they are spells trying to sap his strength. After the fifth of these goes off without actually hurting him, he says "wow, apparently someone loves the school of necromancy."

A light bulb goes off - the magical markings, a spellcaster with necromancy... "Fergus, kill the gnome!" Fergus stops throwing useless javelins (which missed much more often than hit) and does a swift fly to be right on top of the gnome. The magic mino immediately takes interest and heads over, but Fergus (after shrugging off ANOTHER ability damage spell for zero effect) attacks the gnome in true Dwarven fighter fashion, doing fearsome damage. Both gnome and the magic mino, his (as I guessed) undead construct, collapse to the ground.

The town is in shambles, only two of our party survived, the townsfolk are nearly all wiped out... but we beat that monster. And, with only two characters left, I went from Level 3 at the beginning of the night to Level 5, along with a huge haul of gold and gear.

Of course, half our group has to re-roll new characters...
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#57
Vortex13

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-snip-

 

 

Epic game.

 

 

So are you enjoying Roll20? I have had several pretty good campaigns out of it in various systems.



#58
Fast Jimmy

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Epic game.


So are you enjoying Roll20? I have had several pretty good campaigns out of it in various systems.

Really enjoying it. The UI makes doing things like measurements, highlighting areas, providing lighting and transitioning between maps pretty simple (from a player's perspective at least, never tried to DM). I like having a forum board to talk about stuff between each session (we handle a lot of the action-lite decisions or events this way during down time) and if you have a DM that is experienced, it's a great time.

Their LFG system is a little cumbersome to find one-shot games, though. And it would be nice if there was some light-version of a ratings system, as there are a few bad eggs who come in and just like to spoil the entire session (I was a spectator on a Call of Cthullu one shot that was sabatoged by a player who had a clown character and tried the entire time to ruin the story and tense setting of the session constantly by spraying seltzer water or honking his nose all the time).

Oh, and the character sheets leave a lot to be desired. The one for 3.5 is practically broken from what I can tell - I had to go in and rewrite nearly all of the skill and ability checks and NEVER try and Attack from it. Still, the macro system is great and I really enjoy the "set it and forget it" ability for some of the more complex spells, abilities or combos.
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#59
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Really enjoying it. The UI makes doing things like measurements, highlighting areas, providing lighting and transitioning between maps pretty simple (from a player's perspective at least, never tried to DM). I like having a forum board to talk about stuff between each session (we handle a lot of the action-lite decisions or events this way during down time) and if you have a DM that is experienced, it's a great time.

Their LFG system is a little cumbersome to find one-shot games, though. And it would be nice if there was some light-version of a ratings system, as there are a few bad eggs who come in and just like to spoil the entire session (I was a spectator on a Call of Cthullu one shot that was sabatoged by a player who had a clown character and tried the entire time to ruin the story and tense setting of the session constantly by spraying seltzer water or honking his nose all the time).

Oh, and the character sheets leave a lot to be desired. The one for 3.5 is practically broken from what I can tell - I had to go in and rewrite nearly all of the skill and ability checks and NEVER try and Attack from it. Still, the macro system is great and I really enjoy the "set it and forget it" ability for some of the more complex spells, abilities or combos.

 

 

I hear you on the character sheets, I am using one for my Shadowrun campaign and while it does list all of my skills and abilities it doesn't roll correctly when I attempt to use it for skill checks.



#60
Fast Jimmy

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I hear you on the character sheets, I am using one for my Shadowrun campaign and while it does list all of my skills and abilities it doesn't roll correctly when I attempt to use it for skill checks.


I've always wanted to play in a ShadowRun campaign, but never got into one. As someone who has played nearly all of the ShadowRun video game RPGs over the years, what would you say are the odds of me picking the system up fairly quickly if I hopped into a one-shot camapign and a few hours with the PHB?

#61
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I've always wanted to play in a ShadowRun campaign, but never got into one. As someone who has played nearly all of the ShadowRun video game RPGs over the years, what would you say are the odds of me picking the system up fairly quickly if I hopped into a one-shot camapign and a few hours with the PHB?

 

 

I'm not sure. You would probably find it fairly straight forward especially since you'd be coming from a heavy DnD background.

 

 

I know that my first game was a nightmare for character creation. 9 HOURS to make my Dwarf Rigger  :wacko:



#62
Dio Demon

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I remember this one session I had with my group. Since one of our number wasn't available we did a One Shot. There was one over-powered character called Sen all of his physical stats were above 16 and he had SO much health.

 

So a wounded Sen he had half-health and had been captured. Managed to ****** off the Orc King to the point where they had a duel to the death. The Orc King was a few levels higher then Sen.

 

Guess who won?

 

Sen.  He destroyed the Orc King.

 

Damn overpowered Barbarian characters!


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#63
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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I've always wanted to play in a ShadowRun campaign, but never got into one. As someone who has played nearly all of the ShadowRun video game RPGs over the years, what would you say are the odds of me picking the system up fairly quickly if I hopped into a one-shot camapign and a few hours with the PHB?

If you're using a pregen, you might be able to pick up all the information you need to effectively use him or her in a few hours of reading. (In my experience, "a few hours" is not long enough to roll your own character.) And I would advise you not to roll a mage as your first character, just to make your task easier. (Maybe you could roll an Adept, but watch out for that Astral stuff. I still don't know how that works.)


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#64
Vortex13

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If you're using a pregen, you might be able to pick up all the information you need to effectively use him or her in a few hours of reading. (In my experience, "a few hours" is not long enough to roll your own character.) And I would advise you not to roll a mage as your first character, just to make your task easier. (Maybe you could roll an Adept, but watch out for that Astral stuff. I still don't know how that works.)

 

 

Very good point, my brother tried to play as a mage for his first character…. needless to say he is not playing that character anymore.

 

 

Another thing to remember is that combat in Shadowrun takes forever. That run I mentioned earlier, all that back and forth, all that craziness?

 

In-game time all that took place in six seconds; two rounds of combat.

 

IRL time it took two and a half hours.



#65
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This isn't really about what happened in-game, but I thought that this was cool idea.

 

 

My group and I are getting ready to play a FATE Core game set in a science fiction setting. Right now we are just going through world and character creation, setting up things we would like to see in the game, and determining how our characters fit into the universe, etc, and one of the guys in our group came up with a pretty awesome concept for his character.

 

 

He wants to play as a religious type, not quite a priest (no god-given powers or anything) but a persuasive talker with a small following of fellow believers. Over the course of our brainstorming session we were trying to figure out what type of deity his character would venerate; after all this was a sci-fi setting with a fairly consistent tech level why would a person believe in some god for one species if they could go travel to another part of the galaxy and encounter several other alien species each with their own cultures?

 

 

For a while the group was stumped, but this player came up with the idea that his religion revolved around the worship of black holes as literal gods of destruction. No one in the setting could dispute his character's beliefs because black holes were the most powerful and destructive objects in the universe. All of the setting's various empires with all of their powerful technology couldn't do a thing to stop a black hole from devouring their planets or stars so why wouldn't one begin to see these celestial objects as gods of destruction?

 

 

I thought it was a pretty cool take on a 'priest' character in a sic-fi setting.



#66
Fast Jimmy

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If you're using a pregen, you might be able to pick up all the information you need to effectively use him or her in a few hours of reading. (In my experience, "a few hours" is not long enough to roll your own character.) And I would advise you not to roll a mage as your first character, just to make your task easier. (Maybe you could roll an Adept, but watch out for that Astral stuff. I still don't know how that works.)


Gotcha. I was looking at the possibility of having some time this weekend to possibly do a one-shot session on Roll 20, but that's kind of fallen through with weekend plans changing. That's the reason I was asking abojt the "few hours" timeframe.

I might leaf through a book or two for Shadowrun, though. I had no idea combat lasted that long, though - that's crazy.

#67
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Sen.

 

My first PnP character ever.

 

So OP and what I made him into?

 

A giant rapist.

 

And no, not just any rapist.

 

He'd do anything from trees, to bears, to orcs to holes in the ground.

 

This dude was insane!

 

And then you have my current (barely alive thanks to SOMEBODY *cough*) Deloris Filch.

 

A depressed Dwarf who wants to kill himself but is too cowardly to die and yet somehow can fight like a badass...

 

WHEN NOBODY IS LOOKING!

 

God.

 

I love PnP xD


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#68
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^ lol at different post connections.



#69
Fast Jimmy

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^ lol at different post connections.


Go home, sim. You're drunk.

#70
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Go home, sim. You're drunk.

 

cceffb9359afb3c382fda4c2445be80af5530242


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#71
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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I managed to get into a long-running campaign of Deadlands: Hell On Earth by offering to play as a Templar (they can heal people, and the party was short on healers.) I wake up in the middle of a train that the party had been using, and follow the party to the engine room. On the way, I discover the fused corpses of some men whom I know out of character to have been tricked into having an orgy with each other by the party Librarian, who had gotten them interested in the idea of an orgy with her at the core of it and then snuck out; the engineer/sorcerer then turned into energy and flowed through them as nuclear energy. The party then brings me up to speed on the party's hatred of and desire to personally destroy a tyrannical group of villains called the Combine, which my Templar lets on that he's willing to help with.

 

Speaking of tyrannical villains, it's about this time that the train comes under attack by black men in silvery one-piece suits, who viciously deride the white inhabitants of the train (these being the Librarian, a Junker, and an NPC) and act as though they are here to help the Native American sorcerer/automotive-engineer and my hispanic Templar. (I'd originally pictured him as white, but when it became clear that that was a bad thing to be at the moment I pointed out to the GM that I'd never explicitly stated my character's race.) It becomes clear that we are being taken to a territory called "New Virginia" in which black people are the kings, other non-whites are officially their equals but not always really treated like it, and white people are slaves.

 

How's that for problematic?

 

The white characters are shuffled into a reeducation center to be turned into cowed, more or less willing slaves (ineffectively, since they are PCs) while the Templar and the automotive engineer are taken to meet Emperor Markus I. He fills us in on his backstory (in an embellished but not really dishonest manner, as our librarian confirms later,) and describes a religious experience that leads us to conclude he worships one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. (You could probably have guessed that that's a bad thing in this setting.) He also allows the engineer and the Templar (who is passing as an ordinary enforcer because now does not seem like a good time to reveal that I'm basically a paladin) to gain housing and seek employment. The sorcerer, Engine Joe (who specifically picked that name hoping to have an excuse to kill people for mispronouncing it) then spins a tale of our abuse at the hands of the white PCs, and Marcus decides to allow us to hold them as slaves. Before Joe and Joaquin (I had to come up with a hispanic name on the spot, and I just went with the name of a poet I'd read in class) leave, the Emperor's assistant lets on that there is a resistance by those African-Americans who have not lost their minds, and offers to include us in a plot to assassinate Marcus, warning us that he has some sort of anti-magic.

 

We agree, reunite with the other half of the party, and are soon visited at our apartment by a contact in this resistance. He gives us the idea of blowing up some water tanks to distract the police while we sneak into an office block to find information on something called "Project Tuskegee" (which the librarian's player believes out of character to be related to the Tuskegee airmen, and which I'm afraid might be related to something rather more horrifying.) We agree to this plan, and are all more or less on the rails... until the Junker starts singing "Thrift Shop" under her breath.

 

An officer immediately bursts into the room to demand that she not sing a song by a white artist. She responds by killing him. The Junker's player then persuades me not to rat her out by saying he'll get us out of this. I desist, and the Junker gets a new PC who'd just arrived that session and left immediately after it to fake the cop's voice over the radio. While this is happening the Junker looks into the car and discovers it's nuclear powered. She comes up with a plan to rig the car to explode, have the Librarian channel Einstein in order to figure out how to aim the car to land on the officer's precinct (without needing it to be manned for more than fifteen seconds, since none of us is up for a suicide mission,) have Engine Joe actually do it, and have the new guy (Three-Law-Dog) fake the cop's voice over the radio (which she detaches from the car for this purpose) to convince the precinct he is suicidal and that every cop in the precinct needs to return to the precinct to talk him down. The rolls for all of this succeed, and the radio cuts off as we see a mushroom cloud.

 

Our resistance contact shows up in an utter panic, and tells us that Markus's response for things that go wrong is always to find some slaves to blame. The Junker refuses to leave until we recover a sapient tank that had been confiscated from her. Joe and Joaquin agree that we will try, but she refuses to move until she gets a promise. Fortunately my Templar is a size category larger than she is, and after a bit of wrestling just throws her over his shoulder. She keeps throwing a tantrum, which annoys Engine Joe so much that he fires a beam of radiation at her. It hits me instead, but Joe heals me, which I'm still confused by given that the reason I suggested I could play as a Templar was that the Junker's player said we didn't have a healer. Anyway, the Librarian comes over and intimidates the Junker into giving up. The two of them leave with the contact, and the Librarian decides to use this as an opportunity to seek a book that had been on her to-do list since before I joined the party. They wind up in a Deadland, which our GM describes as "a place where physics sticks it's head in the sand to avoid looking at all the pure CANNOT BE that spawns from the tainted soil and fauna," and discover that the book has been damaged by the Deadland. They are also attacked by a spider that pretends to be the tank the Junker wants back (said tank is shaped like a Tachikoma from Ghost In The Shell.) The two kill the spider together and the Librarian intimidates the Junker into getting back into the car. They drive back towards New Virginia (I haven't yet asked them why they thought that was a good idea) and the Librarian scares a border checkpoint into letting them through. (Does my reader sense a recurring theme?)

 

While this is happening Joe and I decide to try for the documents the party was supposed to steal. We find a radiation suit for Joaquin (since Joe doesn't need one) and walk into the building. There are two guards that I can't think how not to kill, so Joe and Joaquin do that. We run into some office workers who I consider killing for expediency's sake, but... paladin. So they get to live. So then we come to a locked door, and neither Joe nor I manage to kick it down. The GM then points out that neither of us had considered knocking, so after cursing my own idiocy for a few seconds I knock despite being pretty well convinced it was too late for that. Sure enough the guy starts shredding files, which Joe responds to by just walking through the door with his powers. I follow a second later by finally forcing the door. We try to kill him and roll poor damage; eventually Joe just shoves him through the window. We then discover half of the document we wanted, and get an address. We then walk out of the building...

 

... and find Emperor Markus inspecting the guards we'd killed. He then takes control of the spirits granting Joe his magic, and from all I can tell he expended literally no effort doing so. (Note that I'm using the English major definition of literally. **** is that bad.) He makes us turn out our pockets to make sure we're not smuggling anything out, and I decide that I'd shoved the bottle in my rectum. So then he's about to let us go... and he hears a crinkling coming out of my pants. I'm playing it off as a medical condition. He's currently trying to get me to let a doctor look at it, probably mostly because he's well aware that it's not one. I managed to persuade the GM to end the session there so I could spend the XP I just won on some bluff.

 

Plan A: Crit twice on an impossible bluff check because that's how bad this is.

Plan B: I'm large enough that there's a limit to how fast I can be, and my Pace (Speed) stat is at that limit. The GM has heavily implied that Markus is larger, which under the rules as written means he's more sharply limited than I am. Therefore I should be faster than he is. Unless he has speed magic.

Plan C: Surrender to avoid summary execution.

Plan D: Good thing I rolled a monk on Monday.


  • Vortex13 aime ceci

#72
Vortex13

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@Riverdaleswhiteflash

 

 

 

That reminds me of my Deadlands campaign. My group and I played in the Wild West setting and I played a snake-oil salesman by the name of Nathaniel, he was a silver tonged devil (in fact I actually had that as a perk) that would swindle people out of money in stereotypical snake-oil salesman fashion. Now the rest of the group looked down on my character for his 'unethical' behavior, but they tolerated me since I could talk our way into or out of practically any situation…. well all except for our marital arts character.

 

 

This other character was essentially a Shaolin Monk, he could quite literally bring a knife to a gun fight and win; in fact he killed an attacking Apache warrior riding on horseback and firing a rifle at him by throwing a knife (from rifle ranges) so hard that it almost decapitated the horse and threw the warrior to the ground causing said warrior to suffer a fatal head wound. This was a character that could deflect bullets with his hands or run up sheer cliffs. In other words, a character that no one in their right mind would fight. Now this monk character operated on a strict code of honor, and was unfamiliar with Western culture; having just arrived via boat; so he considered Nathaniel to be a dishonest merchant and a man without honor. Typically my willy snake-oil salesman would make some grand speech using convoluted figures of speech and other english complexities to confuse the foreigner, but after our monk character witnessed me charging a poor crippled man $150 for a supposed cure-all tonic he issued a challenge of honor. 

 

 

As a character with a wide yellow streak I naturally tried to weasel out of this, but our martial arts master was insistent, and his declaration had drawn in quite a crowd; people wanting to see the power of Nathaniel's tonics and potions vs. the trained skill of a Shaolin Warrior; and my character's greed at making possible sales won out against his cowardice; well that and Nathaniel's as of then undiagnosed Mr. Hyde portion of his Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality feeling slighted.

 

 

Seeing as how my character was untrained in physical combat, and our GM not wanting to have his players kill each other (yet) the contest was merely going to be a fist fight with the declared intention that the winner would simply knock the loser unconscious. As the fight began the martial arts character started to circle my character slowly, waiting for me to make a move. Obviously, I didn't stand a chance in direct combat, the only thing I had going for me was a power card that let my character interrupt any action of an opponent and go first, and a slight boost to my (nonexistent) Brawl skill thank's to the Mr. Hyde personality being in charge. 

 

 

As the martial arts character began his first attack I played my card and went first. Nathaniel stepped in towards the character that had received a lifetime of training and punched out with his fist. I rolled my attack and succeed on my 'to-hit' roll. The Shaolin character was slightly surprised by Nathaniel's speed and his ability to actually hit him with his clumsy attack, but was confident that he could take whatever the wimpy looking snake-oil salesman could throw at him. I then proceeded to roll damage…...

 

 

*As a side-note, it is important to know that Deadlands has exploding dice; if you roll good enough you can keep stacking the damage.

 

 

My little d6 rolled over to a 6, so I rerolled and got another 6, and another, and another. All said and done, by the time my dice stopped exploding, I was looking at a total of 46 damage; well over what the Shaolin character had in hit points. Against an NPC this attack would have turned their head into little bloody giblets, but since this was another player, and because of our GM-agreed upon rules the attack only knocked the martial arts master out cold. 

 

 

A character that regular gets into fist fights with ogres and other monsters, is knocked unconscious in one hit by the lowly charismatic snake-oil salesman.  :D

 

 

Needless to say, Nathaniel got quite a few sales that day, and our martial arts character stopped trying to confront me in my shady dealings, in fact he started inquiring of Nathaniel about training him in this 'one punch' style that he was apparently the master of.  :lol:



#73
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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*As a side-note, it is important to know that Deadlands has exploding dice; if you roll good enough you can keep stacking the damage.

 

I am rather counting on that to help me bluff my way out of this. Or help me break any restraints I might be locked in, since I only have d6 strength die. (Edit: Got confused with my other character; this one has 2d12.)



#74
Vortex13

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I am rather counting on that to help me bluff my way out of this. Or help me break any restraints I might be locked in, since I only have d6 strength die.

 

 

Pray that the Dice Gods favor you in your endeavors!  :D



#75
Riverdaleswhiteflash

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Pray that the Dice Gods favor you in your endeavors!  :D

I am.

 

I'll let you know how this turns out if we ever play this campaign again. (We were supposed to have a session about 45 minutes after I posted that story.)