My internet is being retarded and not letting me multiquote so here goes in response to everyone
- Merrill: Are you all right?
- Anders: I nearly killed an innocent girl. How could I be all right?
- Merrill: I'm sorry.
- Anders: You're sorry? For me? This could be you! You could be the next monster threatening helpless girls!
- Merrill: Anders... There's no such thing as a good spirit. There never was.
- Merrill: All spirits are dangerous. I understood that. I'm sorry that you didn't.
───────
- Anders: It's not a good feeling, you know.
- Merrill: What?
- Anders: Being an abomination. I just got a taste of your future.
- Merrill: I'm not that foolish. Our relationship is, um, strictly platonic.
- Anders: It's like you're trapped in your own body, seeing out your eyes, while someone else moves you like a puppet.
- Anders: And you're trying to scream, to move a single muscle, but there's no escape. Until you look down at the blood on your hands...
- Merrill: Stop it. You're scaring me.
- Anders: That's the point.
Those are the banters. First things Anders is only descriptive in the second. I'm not seeing Merrill being weak by being concerned by becoming an abomination. It is a possibility for any mage.
Merrill's difference in demeanor is different between Friendship and Rivalry; she seems like she's become a weaker person because of Hawke as a rival, while she's more self-assured and confident in herself as a friend. She's scared as a rival about possession, but she confidently assures Anders that all spirits are dangerous when she's befriended by Hawke.
As for the can do no wrong. Sorry but that's how I saw it. And I saw Hawke as encouraging such line of thought.
I saw Hawke supporting Merrill about technology he was completely ignorant about, because she wanted to help her people - who he knew next to nothing about. It's a bit condescending (to me) for Hawke to tell Merrill she's wrong about something that he knows nothing about. It comes across as one of those 'I'm right because I'm human, and you need to listen to me.'
As for the rich kid scenario. No I'm not going to tell him not to complain. His life could be better it could also be worse. But others would tell the poor kid without parents and eating scraps how dare he wish for the rich kids place. Sure it's not great but it's better than his. I think both positions suck but I'd rather be a rich kid with abusive parents than a poor one with the same. Least as the latter when they die I have something other than scraps.
So I will never understand the whole all mages should want to be free cause freedom rules (If my choice was to be a pampered servant or a starving freeman I'll pick the former. And others would pick the latter which is fine cause people are different and have different priorities. But the insistence that I want what you want whether it's benefiting me or not is where you lose me.)
Between the suicides and the people of all ages who risk their lives to be free and run away from the Circle, like Aneirin and Malcolm, it's clearly not the best place for every mage.